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Greetings of the day!!! I am marking you the customer an email
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Mar 4, 2015 04:36
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'yes here is the code fix please to deploy it' 'you guys tested this on the cloned server and with the scenarios we gave you, right? the customer is furious and we need this out asap' 'yes it is tested and it works please to deploy it' 'alright. thanks a bunch' *checks code into svn* *build breaks* 
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Mar 4, 2015 04:40
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*shits in street on way to work* *shits out code without comprehension of final product* *shits all over teleconference call with stupid technobabble to avoid giving real answers* *shits and shits some more* *is literal poo poo*
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Mar 4, 2015 04:42
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*never loving ever adds comments on SVN commits* e. *writes "committing code" as SVN commit comment*
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Mar 4, 2015 04:49
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Everyone! That was policy number 6666666, terminated!
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Mar 4, 2015 05:00
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Hmm not working, I will just hard code this value.
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Mar 4, 2015 05:04
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does an ellipsis mean something different in india or is everyone in my inbox just real passive aggressive
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Mar 4, 2015 05:15
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Sir I am not finding this answer in our kb one moment please *hangs up*
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Mar 4, 2015 05:16
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Now please to find your serial number?
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Mar 4, 2015 05:25
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am i the only one who has had pretty ok experiences with indian tech ppl
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Mar 4, 2015 05:40
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like yesterday i was about to murder a client over a sharepoint problem and got a microsoft indian dude to explain it and fix it and nothing hurt
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Mar 4, 2015 05:41
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TEAYCHES posted:like yesterday i was about to murder a client over a sharepoint problem and got a microsoft indian dude to explain it and fix it and nothing hurt The MS ones are really highly trained on their specific areas of expertise.
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Mar 4, 2015 05:43
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Nerds
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Mar 4, 2015 05:44
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when i did unix admin poo poo during the overnight shift at [very large shipping company] a h1b coder guy drove to the office in the middle of the night and begged me to put his revised code straight onto production machines because he realized what he wrote the day before had some massive flaw that would cause huge delays and result in caged packages, missed commitments, etc & lead to his certain termination and a flight back to mumbai. I was like sorry bud that's against policy & went back to making excellent posts  if you work with h1bs never help them and always do whatever you can to make them gently caress up (it's not hard) unless you want to be training one how to do your job one day. or just get the gently caress out of tech it's bad for your mind and body
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Mar 4, 2015 05:46
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d0s posted:when i did unix admin poo poo during the overnight shift at [very large shipping company] a h1b coder guy drove to the office in the middle of the night and begged me to put his revised code straight onto production machines because he realized what he wrote the day before had some massive flaw that would cause huge delays and result in caged packages, missed commitments, etc & lead to his certain termination and a flight back to mumbai. I was like sorry bud that's against policy & went back to making excellent posts all of this is wisdom
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Mar 4, 2015 05:49
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Necc0 posted:*misspells class names in core architecture* Personal favorite of mine! Kind regards.
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Mar 4, 2015 05:49
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There's a massive [for us] intranet application we maintain that's got a bunch of that poo poo in it, and whenever I go in there, every time I see it I think about how much work it'd be to refactor it and that I can't really dedicate resources to doing that, but gently caress
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Mar 4, 2015 05:53
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Code Jockey posted:*never loving ever adds comments on SVN commits* *uses SVN instead of TFS or GIT.
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Mar 4, 2015 05:53
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Divine Styler posted:*uses SVN instead of TFS or GIT. lmao knew this was coming
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Mar 4, 2015 05:54
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Indian manager/friend of mine who used to hang out with me: *hanging out at a bar, getting beers* "You need to improve your work performance, you lag far behind your coworkers in skill and basic competence" *sips beer* "Can you help me find a date"
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Mar 4, 2015 05:55
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TacMan posted:do the needful
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Mar 4, 2015 06:00
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they loving love taco bell for some reason idgi
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Mar 4, 2015 06:00
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Most of the indian dudes I work with are cool guys who actually understand how to write software but sorry if you're manager thought he could save a few bucks by hiring people who could pretend to have heard of java.
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Mar 4, 2015 06:16
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But, in scenes broadcast in advance of the premiere of the film, India’s Daughter, Mukesh Singh showed little remorse and suggested his victim would not have been killed if she had not fought back against her attackers. He said: “A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy … A decent girl won’t roam around at nine o’clock at night … Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night doing wrong things, wearing wrong clothes.”
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Mar 4, 2015 06:21
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"your workorder failed validation" "very sorry,,, could you please edit these 200 values manually?"
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Mar 4, 2015 06:39
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*plots your death, when seeing you eat with your left hand.
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Mar 4, 2015 06:46
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Police Academy III posted:Most of the indian dudes I work with are cool guys who actually understand how to write software but sorry if you're manager thought he could save a few bucks by hiring people who could pretend to have heard of java. yeah ive worked with indian dudes in a corporate environment and also now in a small business support environment and they are pretty cool all around, about as retarded or as good at their job as anyone else. half the time i call Microsoft they school me or i spend a few hours on the phone until im kicked up to someone who can fix sharepoint or whatever
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Mar 4, 2015 06:55
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i don't understand a lot of this technobabble but i'm enjoying being a part of "net" culture
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Mar 4, 2015 08:36
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d0s posted:when i did unix admin poo poo during the overnight shift at [very large shipping company] a h1b coder guy drove to the office in the middle of the night and begged me to put his revised code straight onto production machines because he realized what he wrote the day before had some massive flaw that would cause huge delays and result in caged packages, missed commitments, etc & lead to his certain termination and a flight back to mumbai. I was like sorry bud that's against policy & went back to making excellent posts sage wisdom. the only place in tech where you don't feel totally soulless is marketing. and even then, you die a little on the inside when you work in it.
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Mar 4, 2015 08:46
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amityville anus posted:Have you tried raping it off and back on again?
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Mar 4, 2015 08:51
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do you mean marketing as in the weird social media voodoo where they analyze how people are "engaging with brands" and poo poo or marketing as in making tv commercials for oracle. if it's the first thing idk how people can do that and still be people at the end of the day it sounds terrible
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Mar 4, 2015 08:59
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TEAYCHES posted:like yesterday i was about to murder a client over a sharepoint problem and got a microsoft indian dude to explain it and fix it and nothing hurt I've never had a problem with an Indian guy on the phone except they sometimes REALLY want to commit to the fact they're not in India and when I get it out of them I act all amazed because it IS pretty amazing there's a guy on the other side of the planet who's on call to help me with stuff at the drop of a hat. "How's Mumbai treating ya?"
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Mar 4, 2015 09:23
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Over the phone "Hi I'm John!" ......you're a loving liar, "john".
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Mar 4, 2015 10:31
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"my name is Fred. Fred Durst." (This actually happened)
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Mar 4, 2015 10:38
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taxi driver- you are very beautiful woman would you like to gently caress yes
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Mar 4, 2015 10:42
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hello i am havening the issues with the something awful projects kindly do the needful and pls send the codes my mob +912240683000
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Mar 4, 2015 12:33
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Wasn't it a Indian Customer Support that created one of the funniest hosed up Stars Wars Online stories? There was a day one patch problem, affecting everyone nearly. And SWO had two tech support levels, one in Ireland and one in Asia somewhere, probably India. The Asia guys dealt with the low level problems and if serious passed it over the Ireland center. And one of the Asia support guys gave a 20 step self file editing solution to the problem, that no one publicly knew about, and once the Ireland center found about it they threatened the player with a ban! For getting a solution to his problem! Can't find it in a google search, hope someone remembers it in more detail.
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Mar 4, 2015 12:53
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*receives a ticket to block malicious email going to every single person in the company.* *Sends ticket back saying the help desk should call then user and walk them through Outlook rules." *Receives a detailed, illustrated guide on how to fill out request forms properly.* *Submits request form with absolutely nothing requested, froths with rage when the request is not fulfilled within the hour.*
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Mar 4, 2015 12:58
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Mar 4, 2015 13:06
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 16:35 |
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we should be using union all everywhere, it's so good!
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Mar 4, 2015 13:06
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