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Legality Wu did his best not to scratch, itching furiously from the bites of the woodmites and past weeks without a proper bath. Although it was by now threadbare and stained through with the mud of rough travel, he nonetheless fastidiously tucked in the sleeves of his silken courtier's robe and folded his hands thrice before falling to his knees before his Divine King. "My Divine King, this humble servant does not dare to think he knows your mind but... might it not be timely for us to leave the forest and seek out those of our allies which remain loyal to the Golden Throne? The hunters are not so far behind, and lately we have heard that the bounty has been raised to twice its weight in gold for the head or hands of any ape. Even now as we speak your traitorous former Ministers no doubt plot further outrages against you while cementing their own grasp over the throne. Does not the Dao tell us that while it is right and just to wait for the most propitious circumstances, it is also right to act before all is lost?" Lazing idly atop a heavy branch over the river, Sun Shahar cracked open a furred eye and smiled downwards at the old man as if party to some secret and hidden joke. (lice. the joke was lice, a great profusion of delicious and crunchy lice he'd scattered in the old man's bedroll overnight) It was a credit to the old man's dignity and sense of decorum that he'd held up so long and so well but Shahar knew that his patience would be rewarded. "I do not totally agree with the Daoists," he said. "And I think you would have us take too much upon ourselves. Making history is hard work and it may be dangerous. I think I will have a cup of tea, sun myself by the river, and contemplate inaction." He toyed with the tip of his tail, at once both proud and fascinated by its sleekness and the fineness of fur. What a magnificent tail it was! Shahar grinned as he rolled over on the branch and faced the courtier while hanging from his feet. He tapped at his chin with one hand contemplatively. "On the other hand, there is the story of Civil Engineer Gong. He was traveling on government business and had to cross a river. A large river dragon bumped the boat. Now, the boatmen were terrified, and clutched their charms and gifts of divine appeasement in the hopes that the dragon would pass them by. Gong remained calm. He said 'I am doing my utmost in the interest of the people, discharging my duties in obedience of my King and Heaven. Living I am a guest. Dying I go home to my ancestors. Why should I be disturbed? The dragon is merely a lizard." Holding himself upright (and upside down) with legs divinely more powerful than man or ape alike, he sat downwards into the familiar and traditional lotus position. Legality Wu remained on his hands and knees, his silence serving as the implicit emphasis of his earnest request. Shahar sighed. Today was not the day the old scholar asked to be groomed after all. Clearly more lice were required. "The dragon flattened its ears and dropped its tail, then swam away. Gong continued on his journey. I've always liked that story. Now, have the others brew me a cup and come have a seat. We have weighty matters of the head to discuss. All joking aside old friend, I'll ease your worries." He relaxed his grip and faster than the eye could follow slipped around the branch and up the tree to its highest point where he took a precarious but stable enough seat, confident that between duty and martial training the old man would follow. Shahar shaded his eyes against the midday sun and squinted into the distance. "I am searching for the Crystal Falls from which the First King's people came. You know, the wise ones with powerful magic, strength several times that of any mortal man, and awe-inspiring beauty? They're out there Wu, I know it. I can feel it." "But my King, the Wise Ones are an allegory for how the First King descended from the mountains and the grace and social harmony represented by the people of his first court, a myth like-" "like how the First King was was born from a stone, covered in fine and beautiful silvery fur, had bright red eyes which peered instantly into the hearts of men, and powerful limbs which let him leap into the air to impossible heights with the slightest effort?" Shahar finished the old man's sentence for him, ruffling the silvery fur of his own chest and pointedly studying his fingernails without a trace of sarcasm or irony in his tone. He fluttered lashes over his own crimson eyes. Legality Wu hauled himself up the tree with no little grace, making the final leap upwards to the tree's crown by taking clever advantage of the more flexible higher branches. He found himself a solid branch and resumed his kowtow. "They were apes, Legality. Apes as I am now and apes as the First King was. We will find them and I will break open their coffers for their best wine and sweetmeats and then we shall have a banquet like none seen in this mortal Age. Then perhaps I will discuss with their leaders on how we may best correct the errors of our society's growth." Magical talking sage-apes? Legality's cynicism and doubt warred with ironbound loyalty and his own encyclopedic knowledge of the Land's historical texts. There were a great many references to the Wise Ones which in retrospect made a great deal more sense if they were actual, physical apes... "And we'll find you a fine monkey bride! Only the finest and most delicate of beauties for my good and trusted friend! Kekeke!" Sun Shahar, Divine King of the Land of Flowers and Fruits, Monkey  August Crown of the Sage Incomparable Beneath the Heavens +2: An ordinary crown perhaps, with an extraordinary origin. The crown of the Land of Flowers and Fruits is a relic from an ancient age. Originally thought to be unmagical beyond its cleanliness and gloriousness, the August Crown is one of the adornments worn by the first Divine King gifted to him by others to celebrate his ascension as a Sage Incomparable Beneath the Heavens. It has recently displayed a new ability, and its current bearer Sun Shahar has begun the process of becoming something. Something less than human? Or more ape-like? It is a crown befitting a king and ape and has given Sun Shahar the ability to be both and excel in it. Monkey's Form Monkey Thought -2: Is a man an ape or an ape a man? Shahar's transformation has wreaked changes to his body, muscles hardening and growing taught, and fur growing where there was no fur before. But the changes go deeper than fur and skin, and Divine King has found himself on more than one occasion screeching, capering, eating insects, and flinging feces as form follows function. Troops: Imperial courtiers. The Land of Flowers and Fruits is an ancient one. Founded in antiquity by wonders of war and magic, it is peopled by a fecund but orderly folk. It has resisted the many changes and upheavals of the ages, with all authority and power devolving to the Imperial Court in the name of the Divine King. Over time the bureaucracy and inertia of ages saw the creation of a more enlightened breed of courtier, men who embodied the ideal gentleman scholars of old. Such men are literate in the arts of medicine, magic, and war while also maintaining a strict adherence to the laws of decorum. The Imperial Service Examination itself comprises of dozens of written and oral exams which take place over a course of weeks. Of the Ten-thousand Scholars of the Imperial Court many have been killed, scattered by the winds of fortune and war, or lost faith in a king whose existence defies all order and etiquette. Only the only the most skilled and dedicated of the Imperial Court's scholars and courtiers remain beside their King in exile, and though loyal these are desperate and hardened men indeed. These are the Sages whose scholarship holds to the clandestine, esoteric, or martial arts, or those with strength enough of will to survive on forest fruits and insects beside their ape-like king. Why were you betrayed? Shahar donned the August Crown in his thirteenth year and ascended to the throne as was right and good. It was not until some decades later when the magical (and possibly divine) ability of the crown made itself manifest but when it did it was sudden and spectacular. A jape or a jest at one royal banquet or another caught the man chuckling as he scratched himself idly. The chuckle turned to laugh, a laugh to a guffaw, and a guffaw to a full throated screech as the king leapt from his seat and began a bawdy pantomime to the horror of all guests. Incensed by the change, the king raced through the Imperial city performing various crude and immodest crimes against society and various international ambassadors. This transformation and insult to proper order has led to a courtside revolution, which initially clandestine and quiet is now one with outright violence. The Ministers and nobility have conspired to band together and drive out the vulgar animal which once thought itself to be their king, and a new council of regents holds power. A government bounty has been issued for the head and hands of any monkey of any size, and those proclaiming fealty to Shahar have been declared insalubrious to social stability. What side? Neutral Side! The Land of Flowers and Fruits is a rich and fecund kingdom, and sits bestride the other nations of the world smack dab in the middle of everything. As it it should be. The foolish and inconsequential wars of barbarian North or depraved South have no true bearing on the august and harmonious internal workings of the Land of Flowers and Fruits. It's true that the borderlands may have seen an increase in refugees and banditry, and there may have been a disruption in the steady and orderly flow of trade goods to the Imperial City, but those are at best temporary and transient events in the long history of the Land of Flowers and Fruits. As Gods and nations struggle and die, the Land's people turn inwards by order of their highly educated and rulers. What do I hope to do? Astride a blazing cloud I shall steal Heaven. (Or assault it w/e) Poop across somebody's fancy party Profit I'll edit this into completion gradually but you get the idea. A man who is a monkey or a monkey who is a king. Is followed by a gang of hardbitten Confucian scholars who really wish they were somewhere else. Throws poop. Plays pranks. I was originally thinking of being a literal monkey from a kingdom of monkeys so let me know how well that works out for you. Lives in a kingdom founded by a magical warrior sage mountain ape who may or may not have left a cursed item behind for his descendent. Kingdom is also very bureaucratic and orderly, and purposefully turns a public blind eye to activities of external nations. Single Male Monkey seeks Ancient Monkey-Sage Kingdom. Puppies are dicks fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Mar 17, 2015 |
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Mar 5, 2015 21:19
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RedHotKick posted:Name 2 things you’d like to do this game Monkey'll have all the dick innuendo and fecal-related pranking of other Gods required to crack smiles out of every last one of you. You wait and see. 
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Mar 6, 2015 03:05
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Oh wait I forgot to ask, you'd mentioned that humanity has been living alongside /within sight of various magical shenanigans. How well does that apply towards magical or non-human races? We talking Memmonites or Bigfoot-rare? Or can that be a flexible concept based on location, origin, etc.? Hypothetically if someone were to for example write in a reference to a magical kingdom of talking monkeys that live behind a crystal waterfall sealed away by ancient magic and guarded by tigers the size of carts. I am asking for a friend.
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Mar 8, 2015 03:42
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Zombie #246 posted:Flexible for the most part, though in my head the idea I had was princess mononoke type of rarity. That makes sense since the argument can be made that most people have never seen a Memmonite (or misidentify it as a type of Pokemon) but would probably have met or seen one in a major city someplace. Plus I think they live in weird out of the way rural areas like some sort of mysterious pacifistic bearded gorillas in the mist. I have included a small blurb of backstory in my post. Still kind of wriggling it around and trying to get the voice/idea down but you get the picture I think. The King has fleas (or likes to play pranks on his courtiers with them), has powers as monkey do, and a vague plan in the works somehow.
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Mar 10, 2015 03:28
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Hey it looks like all the cool kids are doing that thing. Should I be doing that thing? Because I'll do it if it helps me fit in.
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Mar 17, 2015 03:01
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Panic Attack posted:Get into the mind of the monkey. Would the monkey do it? Poop-slinging, laughing, or stealing shoes is my default gut instinct here but if I have time before the thread drops I'll pore over the numbers and give them a breakdown on a sling-by-sling basis analysis. 
Puppies are dicks fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Mar 17, 2015 |
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Mar 17, 2015 03:15
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Don't think I need to roll to find these trader dudes do I? They're in town to do trade, which kind of requires they let people know where they are and that they're open for business, etc.
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Mar 21, 2015 15:31
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Haggle? Kuhuhuhu, my good friend you're thinking is much too small.
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Mar 21, 2015 21:50
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Everybody knows that fresh tiger penis is worth more than its own weight in gold. It's a perfectly cromulent gift with which to grease the wheels of commerce and friendship. It's a party, a trade party you could say. Tiger penises for some, miniature American flags for all, and uh... free trade also for all!
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Mar 21, 2015 22:50
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I'm on this too. Communication in the form of IC letters or forums PMs work best for me. Platonicsolid please expect some kind of lettered response in my forthcoming post. Redeye Flight posted:If you had to ask me, the Land of Fruits and Flowers was a major local power player all along. It was "conquered" by the Empire in what was more of a political annexation compared to the military campaigns that most of the rest of the Empire was created with, and as a result retained a lot of its internal structure and relative independence in exchange for fealty and supply from its incredibly fertile country. This leads to the locals thinking of it as more of an arrangement between equals rather than a conquest, and hence the Land of Fruits and Flowers being "always independent". Puppies are dicks would be the one to ask about this, though. Valhawk posted:The only things necessary for my backstory to work is that the Empire had to be in serious decline. Decline enough that border provinces could start to rebel, and the Empire would be unable to put down the rebellion prior to the start of the Civil War From a practical perspective I would assume that it's possible but unfeasible that they could have held on to their independence (possibly with magic or shenanigans), but in realpolitik terms it's much more likely they used the simple face-saving arrangement of agreeing with both sides while getting shafted and internally telling their citizens that their country was A-OK and the greatest under Heaven all along always because we've always been at war with Eastasia. So pretty much use the Qing dynasty as a basis. My entire country concept is a jab at the rigid and hierarchical Confucian ideals of bureaucracy and social harmony but hey whatever the GM says works works. Without going into a complicated history lesson (which I suppose I can provide later when I have the time) when in doubt use the example of the Old Summer Palace as a frame of reference for a kingdom that thinks itself eternal and divine. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Summer_Palace tl;dr Late Qing dynasty political theory and doctrine, asserts proudly and constantly that there is only one greatest nation under Heaven. Official King is now a monkey who intends to sling poop across all of it.
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Apr 1, 2015 23:11
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