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I'm going to run the draft tomorrow or possibly later tonight, but here's a tease courtesy of the ingame twitter: Gonad Ballbarian is expected to go number 1 overall, according to Todd McShay. (Note: This is usually completely meaningless)
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May 24, 2015 21:40
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Oh boy, I hope Pat Drahft-Pik flames out as the starting FS on the Patriots, somehow. It's his destiny
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May 24, 2015 22:02
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Put money on Swagger Vache to be the highest scoring rookie of the year.
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May 24, 2015 22:37
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This universe is bullshit. The Hockles legacy amounts to greatness in all sports.
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May 24, 2015 22:59
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Hockles posted:This universe is bullshit. The Hockles legacy amounts to greatness in all sports. Hockles sounds like an Ellis Island name for Prussian hillbilly immigrants. Edit Hans Hockles, son of Herbert Høkklenbergher the barber and hangman of Bruges, came to America with his wife Bergundaforha in 1893, after the death of their firstborn son in an "unexplained and cureeous[sic]" grease fire. They settled in Canton and proceeded to produce ten more children, six of whom survived past their first winter. Chichevache fucked around with this message at 23:48 on May 24, 2015 |
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May 24, 2015 23:45
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zimbomonkey posted:ROUND 4  
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May 24, 2015 23:55
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Lars Umlaut will use the insult of being a third rounder to fuel his rage and slaughter those drafted ahead of him.
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May 25, 2015 00:04
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Looks like Sexy Rexy is not destined for the greatness he deserves 
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May 25, 2015 00:09
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Chichevache posted:Hockles sounds like an Ellis Island name for Prussian hillbilly immigrants. I applaud your effort also Bobby Hill is going to run wild on the nfl
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May 25, 2015 01:56
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I'm getting drafted by the raiders, aren't I? Oh well, a shot at first overall  E. All aboard the Jamarcus 2.0 train GonadTheBallbarian fucked around with this message at 04:06 on May 25, 2015 |
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May 25, 2015 02:59
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zimbomonkey posted:
They'll regret not taking me higher!
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May 25, 2015 05:00
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I was really happy with the quality of players available in this draft. The RNG was a little top heavy, and as a result a lot of the really good prospects are represented by goons. I honored every scheme I could to the best of my ability, and IIRC there were only 2 players that needed a scheme adjustment to have a shot at being drafted. Also good news: the plethora of FAs available caused some cap trouble for some teams that grabbed a lot of the top-flight rookies from last year, and as a result a lot of them now carry less than 53 players. Many teams will be very reliant on members of this draft class for a while, so I expect good things from this top to bottom.
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May 25, 2015 06:40
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Happy memorial day, all! I'll be running the draft simulation shortly.
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May 25, 2015 18:48
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zimbomonkey posted:Happy memorial day, all! I'll be running the draft simulation shortly. 
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May 25, 2015 19:47
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zimbomonkey posted:Happy memorial day, all! I'll be running the draft simulation shortly. 
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May 25, 2015 19:52
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zimbomonkey posted:Happy memorial day, all! I'll be running the draft simulation shortly. I'll be waiting by the phone. 
GonadTheBallbarian fucked around with this message at 20:21 on May 25, 2015 |
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May 25, 2015 20:18
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The first round is in the books! Pick 1-Raiders Gonad Ballbarian, WR* Pick 2-Rams Randy Roughhouse, WR* Pick 3-Bears Big McLargehuge, LOLB* Pick 4-Giants Austin Godfrey, TE Pick 5-Dolphins Rush Hunter, WR Pick 6-Jags Deveon Ford, LE Pick 7-Ravens Tomas Ives, WR Pick 8-Panthers Shaq Shoulders, WR* Pick 9-Falcons Timmy Murray, LT Pick 10-Bengals Desmond Carter, CB* Pick 11-Titans Markese Hayes, LE Pick 12-Saints through Redskins Marco Rodgers, HB Pick 13-Jets Coty Edwards, RG Pick 14-Colts thru Chargers Sivihina Howard, RE Pick 15-Chiefs Quintaze Quick, LOLB Pick 16-Packers Dillon Fletcher CB Pick 17-Steelers Brick Largemeat CB* Pick 18-Cowboys through 49ers Villami Bryant CB Pick 19-49ers Cam Stephenson TE* Pick 20-Cardinals Desi Levingston QB Pick 21-Browns Geoff Peterson QB* Pick 22-Lions Mister Wulf LOLB* Pick 23-Rams thru Bucs Butt Head QB* Pick 24-Chargers Burning Hammer CB* Pick 25-Broncos Richard Kyanka, DT* Pick 26-Texans Hockles, QB* Pick 27-Browns Rashad Hull, CB Pick 28-Seahawks Scottie Harrison, TE Pick 29-Vikings, Nathan Brown SS Pick 30-Patriots Banks Payne DT Pick 31-Browns Malachi Barksdale, HB Pick 32-Eagles Bernie Grimes, LT Although the game predicted 14 first round goons, only 13 were actually drafted. 3 of the goons drafted in the 1st were projected to go in the second, and 4 goons that were projected for round 1 remain on the board. This includes the projected number 1 overall, Cal Ripken Jr. I can't imagine he lasts long on day 2 Despite Ripken's absence, 4 other QBs (3 of them goons) were drafted in the first. Interestingly enough, 3 of the 4 were taken by playoff teams, which means 2 things. First, Madden sims are weird as poo poo, and second there are a lot of QBs coming into the league with a great chance to succeed early. So far, my early OROTY candidates are Gonad Ballbarian (WR, Raiders), Shaq Shoulders (WR, Panthers), Hockles (QB, Texans) and Butt Head (QB, Rams) in no particular order. DROTY favorites are Big McLargehuge (LOLB Bears), Desmond Carter (CB Bengals) and Brick Largemeat (CB Steelers). I'm sure that category is far from settled though. So goons, what do you think so far? I'll be doing Round 2 and 3 in a bit. Also, a very hearty congratulations to Gonad for being the first receiver ever picked first overall! I'm sure your family will be thrilled.
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May 25, 2015 21:46
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zimbomonkey posted:Pick 31-Browns Malachi Barksdale, HB browns v eagles superbowl 
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May 25, 2015 21:52
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5 WRS and 1 TE taken in the first 8 picks. That is so awesome.
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May 25, 2015 21:55
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I demand a trade to the Browns.
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May 25, 2015 21:57
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zimbomonkey posted:The first round is in the books! I hope to either light the league on fire, or be the biggest bust (or ACL tear on the first snap). No in between. If I somehow drag the Raiders into the SB, I will be thrilled. GonadTheBallbarian fucked around with this message at 22:29 on May 25, 2015 |
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May 25, 2015 22:17
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Time for rounds 2 and 3! A lot of you, prepare to be disappointed Round 2 Raiders- Zach Fuller QB Rams- Theodore Price RT Bears- Quinterrius Dupree LE Giants- Keeston Sanders, ROLB Dolphins- Adam Stead, LT Jags- Eldrin Gaitor, RT Ravens- Finau Mosely, CB Panthers- Carl Brackett, WR Falcons- Brennen Ellis, LE 10 Bengals- Jubs McLinebacker, MLB* Titans- Grady Fitzpatrick, RE Washington- Jerry Sherrod, WR Jets- Nat Barclay, CB Chargers- Derek Mauro, CB Chiefs- Idreis Shipley, WR Packers- Perry Belton, RT Steelers- Jemeryn Bailey, CB 49ers- Kirkland Fulton, WR Cowboys- Delmar Simmons, ROLB Cardinals- Tavarres Lindley, RG 21 Bills- Bobby Hill, HB* Lions- Marty Wilson, DE Seahawks- Lamonte Odom, WR Colts- Eddie Walls, WR 25 Broncos- NFL GENERIC, WR* Texans- Don Gates, CB Redskins- Philip McClendon, CB 28 Seahawks- Hoover Fan, DT* 29 Vikings- Cal Ripken Jr, QB Patriots- Christian Durham, LE 31 Browns- Enn Arr-arr, WR* Eagles Theo Sherrod, CB Round 3 1 Raiders- Vladimir Lenin, HB* 2 Browns- Sexy Rexy, QB* Bears- Jimmy Fields, LT Giants- Emmanuel Philip, LG Dolphins- Alani Wallace, CB Jags- LaJarvis Kearse, MLB Ravens- Matt Huerta, TE Panthers- Allen Lauderdale, RG Falcons- Joshua Spence, ROLB Bengals- Javian Hill, ROLB Titans- Tucker Dunn, QB Washington- Kurtis Patton, RG Jets- Hunter Evans, C Colts- Cordaveous Gresham, FS Chiefs- Garic Starks, WR Packers- Avion Justice, MLB 17 Steelers- Lou Strombone, DE* Bills- Sydney Kelly, LT 19 Cowboys- Slip Up, DT* 20 Cardinals- Lars Umlaut, RE Bills- Romel Scott, LT Lions- Malachi Bennett, CB Bucs- Anders McGhee, CB Chargers- Yao Ajala, C Broncos- Gerard Brandon, LOLB Texans- Lee Hammond, CB Cowboys- Carl Fuller, LG Seahawks- Alex Wells, LG Vikings- Garrod Manning, CB Patriots- Torri Albury, WR Browns- Rashaad Dansby, FS Eagles- Andy Mendoza, RG 11 More goons drafted in these 2 rounds to bring the total number of goons drafted to 24 with 27 projected. Notably still on the board is Zachary De La Fuenta III, a tackle with a first round grade. Perhaps he's being investigated for a heinous crime he had nothing to do with? Also, some random things of note: Cal Ripken Jr is so far the biggest faller of the draft that has been selected, dropping a full 60 spots. De La Fuenta will easily take that title when (IF?) he gets taken. Also being ignored are the cries for Free Popdog, but in a qb saturated class that might not be too unexpected. I'll do the later rounds later tonight. Until then, talk amongst yourselves, I guess?
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May 25, 2015 22:37
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Wow, I actually got anxious about where I was drafted. My life is sad.
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May 25, 2015 22:40
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I don't care how or when, but Pat Riots Drahf-Pik, Defensive Back, Rutgers, has to be drafted by the patriots.
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May 25, 2015 22:45
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My TE is a Rutgers man and I'm afraid he'll go undrafted!
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May 25, 2015 22:47
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Bobby Hill is the next  it is his destiny
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May 25, 2015 22:57
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My goal is to destroy Grady Fitzpatrick, the only RE taken ahead of Lars Umlaut.
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May 25, 2015 23:02
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Trade me for Sexy Rexy. We must right this wrong.
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May 25, 2015 23:12
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Ouch, Mr. Wulf falls some 15 spots from the projection and goes to the Lions, who aren't even running a 3-4.
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May 25, 2015 23:35
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How is the single best athlete in this class, my near 7 foot kicker, not gone yet? Raiders should have picked me up in the second for a perfect thunder and lighting combo with that tiny wr. I'm upset at you, Mr. Davis.
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May 25, 2015 23:52
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Chichevache posted:How is the single best athlete in this class, my near 7 foot kicker, not gone yet? Raiders should have picked me up in the second for a perfect thunder and lighting combo with that tiny wr. I'm upset at you, Mr. Davis. Apparently scrap counts for a lot in this draft.
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May 26, 2015 00:01
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Round 4 Raiders- Issac Reid HB Bucs- Lance Love MLB Bears- Dexter Walker C 4 Giants- Daar Throwman QB* Cowboys- Elgin Murphy DT 6 Jaguars- Athanatos WR* Ravens- JJ Jennings RT Panthers- Neil Sims RT Saints- Frank Patrick QB Bengals- JaWuan Tyson WR 11 Titans- Free Popdog QB* Washington- Wisler Armstead LG 13 Jets- Zachary De La Fuenta III, LT* Chargers- Buck Stanton SS Steelers- Allen Preston QB 16 Packers- Don Dagga, HB* 17 Bills- Stan Darsh, LE* Broncos- Carrington Edwards LOLB Dolphins- Damond Klein Cardinals- Keshawn Stark, LB Browns- Roy French, RT Raiders- Lincoln Boswell, LT Bucs- Clifton Craig, LOLB Chargers- Kerrick Fuller, MLB 49ers- Ulysses Coleman, LOLB 26 Texans- David Aguars, TE* Saints- Jaquan Hammond, MLB Bucs- Martin Newton, CB Vikings- Archie Dixon, SS Patriots- Ofisa Azur, RG 31 Browns- Randy Savage, FS* 32 Eagles- Swagger Vache, K Round 5 Raiders- Nathan Swanson RE Saints- Malcolm Minor LT Broncos- Marquez Hightower, WR GIants- Basmine Owens, CB Dolphins- Demarkus Wade, SS Jaguars- Dametric Sims, DT Bucs- Ofisa Boenzi, HB 8 Browns- Al Bundy, HB* Cowboys- Charles Briscoe, WR Bengals- Emmanuel Umodu, LT 11 Titans- Jack Thomas, MLB* Lions- Basmine Tarpley, WR Seahawks- Ferlando Gray, MLB Chargers- Kristian Mathieu, TE Chiefs- Easton Murray, WR 16 Packers- That Guyclint, SS* Steelers- Julius Rivers, DT 49ers- Wendell Benjamin, LOLB Cowboys- Ranoy Jones, WR Cardinals- Quadorias Doyle, DT 21 Bills- Pat "Riots" Drahft-Pik, FS Lions- Jacob Harris, K Bills- Tyjuan Houston, DT Saints- Brandon Garcia, TE Falcons- Leslie Newton, HB 26 Texans- Concrete Shadalkowski, LOLB Washington- Perry Little, WR Seahawks- Faitele Carpenter, LOLB Washington- Markus Ferrell, WR Patriots- Dante Mcbride, FB 49ers- Serderius Manning, SS Eagles- Spencer Mills, ROLB Round 6 11 Titans-Larry Anders, HB* 16 Packers- Detroit Dogg, HB* Round 7 8 Panthers- Duane Butane, HB* So that's the entire draft. Let me know if I missed you. I'm pretty sure everyone got drafted. Think I might go week by week for the rookie season, see how things go.
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May 26, 2015 00:42
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gently caress my life
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May 26, 2015 00:48
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loving 5th round to the titans I better be able to play some special teama god damnnn but at least I'm not mr irrelevant
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May 26, 2015 00:50
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Waroduce posted:loving 5th round to the titans You had an injury setback in college but it looks like you've healed now. Don't give up hope, friend. You might be a surprise.
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May 26, 2015 00:52
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Well, at least a Bill of some kind drafted Pat. Also, laughing at Detroit_dogg being drafted by the Packers.
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May 26, 2015 00:53
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Bobby Hill would like to welcome Stan Darsh and Pat "Riots" Drahft-Pik to the Bills by giving them some fruit pies
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May 26, 2015 00:57
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Hook 'em Texans...or whatever it is they say.
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May 26, 2015 01:17
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Only one other goon Raider makes me sad.
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May 26, 2015 01:55
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4th round kicker for the Chip Kelly Eagles! All aboard for the wild ride! Choo Choo  And I'm the only goon good enough for Ducks East. 
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May 26, 2015 01:56
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