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*Chuckles condescendingly* "Oh, you have such a lovely home. It's amazing what can be accomplished on a limited budget, isn't it?" *flirts with other men to make husband jealous* *was drunk prior to arriving at party*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:15
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:20 |
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Mar 6, 2015 19:19
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Excuse me sir, could you direct me to the mashed potatoes? *unzips*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:21
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Quite
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Mar 6, 2015 19:22
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"I think we should raise marginal income tax rates again. We Democrats are SUCH good people. We really CARE about the poor!!!" -Pretended not to see homeless guy on street on the way to cocktail party -Donates less than 1% of income to charity -Primarily earns income via capital gains & is barely impacted by marginal income tax rates
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Mar 6, 2015 19:22
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So I guess we're officially old now huh
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Mar 6, 2015 19:23
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*is extremely inbred, but in a rich person way*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:24
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Becky and Jason are getting fertility treatment, she's as barren as a wasteland. *laughs snootily, sips white zinfandel which everyone else who isn't a piece of poo poo calls rose wine*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:25
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*sticks straw in rear end and blows fart bubbles into the punch bowl. *
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Mar 6, 2015 19:29
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*cannot communicate except in the form of petty lies* *greets other women by sandwiching their hand between my palms*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:31
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Mar 6, 2015 19:32
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Wait is that the same dude with a dif hair style? Rock on, puke goon.
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Mar 6, 2015 19:36
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*clinks glass Ok everyone I know you've had an amazing journey today but its time for the rose ceremony.
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Mar 6, 2015 19:38
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*Spends entire party dreading the moment I'll be asked to play a tune on the piano*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:38
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*wasn't invited because he's new money.
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Mar 6, 2015 19:38
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I'm the unwashed smelly guy that unabashedly keeps staring at all the massive cleavage going on.
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Mar 6, 2015 19:39
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Wicker Man posted:I'm the unwashed smelly guy that unabashedly keeps staring at all the massive cleavage going on. *has small yet droopy boobs that angle away from each other with a huge gap in between. Wears dress designed to show cleavage anyway*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:41
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*posts in an applewhite thread, elegantly*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:45
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Ok folks, put your keys in the bowl. As soon as they are all in, we'll see whom you're going home with tonight!
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Mar 6, 2015 19:46
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*is a sociopath and would murder everyone at the party without blinking an eye* *clinks my glass against yours and smiles charmingly*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:46
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Applewhite posted:*Spends entire party dreading the moment I'll be asked to play a tune on the piano* "Hey Applewhite, how about playing us a song on my new piano?"
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Mar 6, 2015 19:46
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:"Hey Applewhite, how about playing us a song on my new piano?" "Aww heheh, I don't play that much anymore..." *strained smile beneath pleading eyes*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:48
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*shuffles awkwardly into a corner, remains there for twenty minutes, goes home*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:49
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*Is judged by the hotness of his wife* *wife is judged by the jewelry she wears*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:50
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*was dragged here by his mom* *acts like a sullen little poo poo for the entire party even though it's not actually that bad and there are other teens his own age here*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:52
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Applewhite posted:"Aww heheh, I don't play that much anymore..." "Applewhite, I've invited you into my home. The least you can do is play us a tune after bringing that cheap Merlot to the party." 
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Mar 6, 2015 19:53
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*Lost several games of beer pong and had a handful of shots and will take anyone to bed tonight*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:55
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Applewhite posted:*has small yet droopy boobs that angle away from each other with a huge gap in between. Wears dress designed to show cleavage anyway* "Hey baby, this party sucks, want to come to my apartment?"
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Mar 6, 2015 19:55
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*Goes on tour of the house. Sees the new remodelled den. Wives talk at length about what they did, how they did it, and what they wish they could have done. The men stare blankly into the suffocating future of home projects, renovations and redecorating. The house will never be done. They will never have a weekend again.*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:56
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:"Applewhite, I've invited you into my home. The least you can do is play us a tune after bringing that cheap Merlot to the party." "Haha! Ohh, I couldn't. Really!" *Stalling for time while desperately scrambling to recall how to play "Tie a Yellow Ribbon"*
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Mar 6, 2015 19:57
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*Can't stop staring at the host's newly augmented breasts.* *Wife fumes for days afterwards*
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Mar 6, 2015 20:04
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*reaches for gin and tonic but ends up knocking it on the floor with back of hand, instead* *glass shards go everywhere and the carpet smells strongly of gin for the rest of the evening*
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Mar 6, 2015 20:05
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*doesn't get rose *falls off ceremonial midget-bleacher *cries
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Mar 6, 2015 20:06
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*thinks nobody knows she just came from having sex with the caterer in the coat room*
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Mar 6, 2015 20:08
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Mar 6, 2015 20:08
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*double dips all the chips*
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Mar 6, 2015 20:09
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*can't decide if he should drop this massive dookie here or run home quickly *makes sure to rifle through the medicine cabinet
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Mar 6, 2015 20:10
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*Is the annoying friend who's a photographer and brought his camera*
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Mar 6, 2015 20:10
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Applewhite posted:*reaches for gin and tonic but ends up knocking it on the floor with back of hand, instead* "Please leave my party."
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Mar 6, 2015 20:11
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:20 |
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*Takes upper decker in master bathroom* "Jeeves, my martini is too dry"
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Mar 6, 2015 20:12
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