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permabanned posted:The Huns are back, whether you like it or not, pleb. shut the gently caress up
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# ? Mar 15, 2015 22:37 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:04 |
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Relevant for https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IadVYYuUSYEyour username
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# ? Mar 15, 2015 22:49 |
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Make like your username and gently caress off plz
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# ? Mar 15, 2015 23:35 |
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SquadronROE posted:You ever work in the medical retail field? Like a pharmacy? Big surprise, my pharmacy story is also an "old people" story. So I used to work behind the medicine counter at a Walgreens. Since I was the new guy there, it was my job to distribute the placebo medications (because they are basically impossible to mess up). Just about 49% of Americans are secretly on placebo meds. Doctors make a secret sign on their prescriptions that tells the pharmacy when a patient is supposed to receive a placebo instead of the real thing. The insurance companies are in on this and they make sure to charge you the same as if you were receiving the real drug so as not to break the illusion. They don't want to do this but they play ball with the medical establishment because your health comes first, and sometimes that means lying to your for your own good. Anyway, one day an old man shuffles up to my counter and he's got a throbbing mass of black and purple flesh the size of a golf ball growing out of the side of his neck. It takes all my training not to gag when I look at him. This thing is oozing pus and stinks to high heaven and you can see the other customers waiting in line are very uncomfortable. He hands me his prescription slip and I'm shocked when I see that it has the secret sign! I couldn't fathom what this guy's doctor was thinking! The fleshy mass was obviously real, something like that's not going to go away with the placebo effect. So, thinking I knew better than his doctor, I decided to cut the old guy a break and give him real pills instead of sugar ones. Big mistake The next week the guy comes back into the store and the thing on his neck is bigger than ever! The thing looks like something out of Akira. It's spread to cover most of the side of his face and left shoulder, and its throbbing tendrils extended down the collar of his shirt and shifted visibly beneath his clothes. He shambles up to my window, (not even waiting his turn!) and starts chanting "One flesh! One flesh! One flesh!" While clawing ineffectually at the plastic divider with his withered hands. I'm still trying to be polite and I say to him "excuse me, sir, but you have to wait your turn. These other people are ahead of you." and I call forward the woman who was supposed to go next. Well, the old guy is having none of it. As soon as the lady steps up to the window, he lets out an unearthly scream and one of the steaming pustules on his tumor thing bursts open and sprays her down with slimy pus. The woman immediately starts screaming and I can see that the pus must be some kind of acid because her flesh is melting away and she is basically a screaming skeleton thrashing on the ground! The other customers start freaking out and running away meanwhile the old man is back to scratching at my window! Worse still, all the commotion attracts my manager, and he's all "Applewhite, what's going on here?" Confession time, I explain to him about how I gave the old man real meds instead of placebo ones. Of course he's furious and tells me I'm fired, but not before he makes me get the shotgun out of the back room and blast the old man's head off. I put some buckshot into the woman who got sprayed with acid, too, to put her out of her misery. My manager wasn't happy about me wasting ammo but I was already fired so there wasn't really anything more he could do to me. They had to close the store and I got to spend the rest of the day mopping up pus and blood by myself. ICK!
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# ? Mar 16, 2015 14:58 |
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Applewhite posted:I put some buckshot into the woman who got sprayed with acid, too, to put her out of her misery. My manager wasn't happy about me wasting ammo but I was already fired so there wasn't really anything more he could do to me. But did her family write a letter to the company to tell them the great service that you offered their dying loved one? Did they gently caress. Typical.
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# ? Mar 16, 2015 19:11 |
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So and Anyway immediately discredit your story we know you're lying
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# ? Mar 17, 2015 03:46 |
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Bippie Mishap posted:So and Anyway immediately discredit your story How dare you accuse a goon of lying on the internet.
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# ? Mar 17, 2015 11:18 |
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why didn't the doctor just prescribe the shotgun blast in the first place? I hate when HMOs delay care.
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# ? Mar 17, 2015 12:08 |
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EngineerSean posted:why didn't the doctor just prescribe the shotgun blast in the first place? I hate when HMOs delay care. It's all about money these days.
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# ? Mar 17, 2015 13:34 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 13:04 |
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Applewhite posted:Working in the yarn store was pretty chill. We sold buttons and knitting needles and other yarn-related paraphernalia, but we didn't carry general craft stuff. Our regular clientele was a smal but loyal bunch and we got to know each of them pretty well, or at least learn each of their names. It's this one. This is the best one. You have worked at some classy establishments, sir.
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# ? Mar 17, 2015 17:16 |