Applewhite posted:

Working in the yarn store was pretty chill. We sold buttons and knitting needles and other yarn-related paraphernalia, but we didn't carry general craft stuff. Our regular clientele was a smal but loyal bunch and we got to know each of them pretty well, or at least learn each of their names.
Also, my boss at the yarn store was by far the coolest boss I ever had. He was a big, gentle giant of a man named Yarn Henry.
Yarn Henry was a wool knitting man. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. Skin as black as ebony and a deep laugh that seemed to rise straight up from his belly.
Owning and operating a yarn store had been his dream ever since he was a tyke, and he built his store with his own two hands. He loved the store like his own child, and his passion for yarn and knitting was infectious. In our time there all of us became avid knitters, though none of us could hold a candle to old Yarn Henry.
In a single afternoon, he could knit a sweater big enough for three men, and still have enough time left over to knit them each a scarf as well. It was the damndest thing I'd ever saw, and I wouldn't tell you about it unless I'd seen it with my own two eyes.
Yeah, it was a great job working at the yarn store, but all good things must come to an end...
One day, a slick talking city man showed up in town with a newfangled automatic knitting machine. Set himself up in the town square and boasted that his machine could out knit any man. To old Yarn Henry, that was like saying that you could build a machine that could fly like a bird, or sing like a chorus girl, or love like a beautiful woman. It couldn't be done!
Nope, Ol' Yarn Henry took this slick talker's words to be the gravest personal insult. He stepped forward and in a deep, booming voice declared "Ah reckon Ah could outknit your machine!"
The city man laughed and said "I reckon you're a drat fool, but if you want to try, just bring me some yarn and we'll see you eat those words!"
Yarn Henry got a fire in his eyes then. He sent us back to the shop, had us gather every scrap of yarn in the whole place and bring it back to the town square.
We divided the yarn up into two piles. Each one as big as a small hill. Great pains were taken that both piles contained exactly the same amount of yarn. Whichever contestant, man or machine, that knitted all his yarn into a scarf first would be declared the winner. The loser would leave town in shame.
Well, the city slicker pulled some levers and turned some knobs. His machine gave a great rattle and a hiss and drat if it didn't start spitting out a scarf lickety split!
But Yarn Henry wasn't bothered at all. He was knitting like the wind! His needles flashed so quick they were nothing but a blur, and yarn flew off the ball so quick I'd swear it was ready to catch fire!
Yarn Henry and the machine knitted all day long and into the night. We worked in shifts to make sure Henry always had a fresh ball by his side ready to grab when he needed. He'd worked up a fearsome sweat, and his fingers were worn and bloody from hours of intense knitting.
Meanwhile the city slicker just kept feeding yarn into the machine's tray as cool and calm as can be.
By dawn the next day, the two piles had shrunk down to the last few balls and, miraculously, Yarn Henry was ahead by a whole ball! The city feller was tuckered out from feeding yarn into his machine all night, and couldn't load them up as fast as he'd done when the contest started. We cheered and whooped because we all saw Yarn Henry was going to win!
Just as the city slicker was loading the last yarn ball into the hopper of his contraption, the mayor held up Yarn Henry's hand and gave out a great cry
"He's finished!"
Sadly, truer words were never spoken. Yarn Henry'd won the contest, he'd beat the machine, but he'd pushed himself too hard. Poor Yarn Henry was dead.
Well, you can bet the city slicker left town in a hurry. People weren't feeling too friendly toward him or his fancy machine after they'd seen what had happened to the great Wool Knitting man.
With no yarn in the store and the owner dead, we had to close the store, and I went to go work at Whole Foods.