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Greetings and salutations, thrill seekers. My name is DrPain, and I will be your host through the foreseeable future. For those of you not familliar with how I got to this point, I invite you to read up on my automotive service career antics in volume one. Tomorrow marks my first day out of the frying pan and into the fire. To bring you all up to speed, when last I was actively posting, the headache of owning an independent family shop and dealing with my curmudgeonly father in law led me to sell the business and go corporate. I kicked around in sales at a Mazda dealership in town attempting to get my foot in the door at their service department, but they suck and it didn't happen. I literally beat down the doors of ever other dealer service department until I could speak with a decision maker, only to be told hundreds of times "Hey, you sound great and we'll keep your resume on file but we are not actively hiring", which I always took as a very polite "WHO LET THIS GUY IN HERE? gently caress OFF." Feeling defeated, I gave into my natural instincts to get back into sales, but not of the automotive variety. For the last month I have found employment on the Las Vegas Stripe selling fine art. It's gay as gently caress. "Yes sir, this piece really brings an air of calm to any room upon which it graces the walls hitherto. Simply gaze upon the silhouette of the treeline in the late summer sunset and be captivated. $6,000 framed and shipped please." When in my head I'm going "WHO THE gently caress SPENDS SIX GRAND ON A loving PHOTOGRAPH YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER GO BUY LIKE 2 OR 3 CARS OFF CRAIGSLIST AND JUICE THOSE BAD MOTHER FUCKERS UP". But I digress. Alas, my cynicism got the better of me, and a Toyota store in town did indeed keep my resume on file as promised. They called me a week ago and told me a position had just opened up. The service writer position is mine to have.The car gods have heard my years of regular maintenance prayers and have rewarded me ten fold. I feel like building a shrine to our patron saint of horsepower, Carol Shelby, complete with those candles from the hispanic section of VONS, and a pile of broken parts. Let all men bear witness to the power of purr. Anyway, puns and half drunk celebratory rambling aside, I plan to make this thread the 2nd volume of my repository for all the hosed up poo poo I see. Buckle your goddamn seat belts. 
DrPain fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Mar 10, 2015 |
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Mar 10, 2015 00:04
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 23:08 |
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5'd and subscribed so goddamned fast. Welcome back, DrPain 
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Mar 10, 2015 00:19
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Strapped in. Can't wait for Round 2 of shenanigans!
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Mar 10, 2015 00:24
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quote:I feel like building a shrine to our patron saint of POWERRRRRRR, Jeremy Clarkson.
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Mar 10, 2015 00:48
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Service writer? Oh poo poo. This could be interesting.
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Mar 10, 2015 00:49
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Woop subscribed
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Mar 10, 2015 00:50
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My eyes and body are ready.
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Mar 10, 2015 00:52
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 OH poo poo SONI can't wait for the wacky corporate adventures that surely await. Just don't post anything that might get you fired 
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Mar 10, 2015 01:00
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DrPain posted:Greetings and salutations, thrill seekers. My name is DrPain, and I will be your host through the foreseeable future. For those of you not familliar with how I got to this point, I invite you to read up on my automotive service career antics in volume one. I close the paperwork after the writers do their thing and let me tell you, you'll get exactly that!
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Mar 10, 2015 01:01
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Boaz MacPhereson posted:Just don't post anything that might get you fired The thought had crossed my mind. In all reality this will probably be the new DrPain thread now with 95% less fun due to corporate oversight and self preservation.  I can still post about meat, though. Check out my celebratory steaks, y'all. 
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Mar 10, 2015 01:49
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DrPain posted:In all reality this will probably be the new DrPain thread now with 95% less fun due to corporate oversight and self preservation.
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Mar 10, 2015 01:58
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AWWWW YISSSSSSSSS
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Mar 10, 2015 02:30
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DrPain posted:Buckle your goddamn seat belts. Holy poo poo. 
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Mar 10, 2015 02:35
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Can't wait to see the first demolished Corvette.
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Mar 10, 2015 02:38
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I fell about 1000 posts behind on the old thread, sorry to hear about the nightmare it became and congrats on the new life!
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Mar 10, 2015 03:00
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Loved your first thread, looking forward to this one.
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Mar 10, 2015 03:11
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aww yee
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Mar 10, 2015 03:15
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Ya got a waterpump gasket for a 97 Tacoma?
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Mar 10, 2015 03:52
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So in the interest of plausible deniability, Dr. Pain has moved to the land of maple syrup and now works at a Toyota dealership in Kamloops, right? I'm  about this thread already
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Mar 10, 2015 04:03
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Preoptopus posted:Ya got a waterpump gasket for a 97 Tacoma?  YOU BET
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Mar 10, 2015 04:40
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cursedshitbox posted:
Hey, SoCal AI is doing a wheeling trip this Saturday. Come out, bring the wife, wheel with us.
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Mar 10, 2015 05:33
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I got it from Motronic for AISS. Wish I could! It'd be awesome, but uh, we're still recovering from the move.
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Mar 10, 2015 05:39
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Awesome. The previous thread was one of my favorites and I am looking forward to what this one will bring.
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Mar 10, 2015 08:13
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Yesssssssssssss! Pre-emptively 5'd. The other thread needs to be goldmined!
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Mar 10, 2015 18:00
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Krakkles posted:You would. This.
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Mar 10, 2015 22:37
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This is going to be a good thread.
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Mar 11, 2015 14:44
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5'd and sub'd. Hopefully you get more lifetime oil changes like that dog scented 4-runner or rav-4 from the old shop 
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Mar 11, 2015 19:23
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Not gonna say how I really feel about most service writers, hopefully you can break the mold because the mold is usually made of dog poo poo. Honestly if you have any kind of morals I don't see you staying there very long, unless the dealership you work for is the exception to the rule. Good luck.
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Mar 12, 2015 02:53
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You don't work for John Barr, do you?
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Mar 12, 2015 21:32
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I for one look forward to meat and horrible customer tales. Maybey in some M. Night twist the intern from the old thread got a job at this dealership
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Mar 19, 2015 16:39
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How's the old father in law doing?
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May 1, 2015 22:51
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InitialDave posted:I will now just imagine that every "Oh gently caress ME" post of flate-rate buttfucking 13" posts in his thread has you behind a desk nearby, cackling and lighting cigars with $100 bills https://youtu.be/gwdypLFy8Pk
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May 1, 2015 23:38
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Where are the updates? I was promised updates. 
iForge fucked around with this message at 23:45 on May 1, 2015 |
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May 1, 2015 23:43
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what a great thread
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May 24, 2015 06:52
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Did he died
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May 24, 2015 23:47
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TKIY posted:Did he died He was always dead. He was posting from purgatory.
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May 25, 2015 00:22
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leica posted:Not gonna say how I really feel about most service writers, hopefully you can break the mold because the mold is usually made of dog poo poo. Don't worry, they were all for show. iForge posted:Where are the updates? I was promised updates. He has some personal poo poo going on and, as predicted, life as a service writer at Major Dealership #36269 is boring as poo poo.
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May 26, 2015 01:50
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Updates... yeah. I suppose you could say that my excitement for the new position was premature, and I probably shouldn't have posted this thread. I'll never be able to capture the same magical tone of my previous thread, for a few reasons. The biggest among them being that I was posting as a way of fondly remembering the daily grind at my plucky little shop. At the dealership, I'd rather forget what goes on, and the last goddamn thing I ever want to do is burn in the memories of the poo poo I deal with by posting about it. There's a pretty steep learning curve when it comes to Dealership Life and I'm still getting adjusted, but I have a working knowledge of it enough to pass the sniff test from management. Basically it comes down to, document everything, cover your rear end, and kiss everyone else's. I was already pretty great at the first two, and I am still learning the finer points of the latter. Gone are the days when I could fire a customer, because GOD FORBID their BAD SERVICE  EXPERIENCE be what motivates them to BUY THEIR NEXT TOYOTA SOMEWHERE ELSE. These people aren't looking for skilled labor, they're looking for somebody to make the MAINTENANCE REQUIRED light go away a few times before the TFI light (aka Trade that Fucker In light/check engine light) eventually comes on for an evap leak at 40k. The whole name of the game in service is customer retention. Keep them coming back to THIS dealership, and talking to OUR salespeople while they wait for their prepaid services (which the finance department rolls into your loan and makes interest on). It's quite amazing to witness. Dealership customers are morons. I knew this already, but experiencing it first hand has been surreal. I made more money in April than I did in any of the final few months of keeping the shop afloat. I consider that to be a good start, the potential is there for way more. Customers come in for scheduled services and I lay on some smarmy bullshit to get them to buy a brake flush, or top engine decarb, or whatever, or all of the above. Hot button selling points for us are either MPGs, safety, or longevity, and we have ways to sell each service any of those ways. This is usually done without ever opening the hood and nobody ever calls us out on it. I feel bad sometimes when I get somebody to sign for $500 of upsells then the 27 point inspection turns up a mechanical failure like a water pump or brakes, but it's rare that they can't afford that too. In my defense, the customer absolutely gets every service they pay for, but whether or not it was absolutely necessary as opposed to "recommenced by time/mileage" is never part of the discussion. I have become that which I hated, and it kind of owns.  Last Wednesday I wrote up 32 cars in a single day, and holy gently caress I can't remember what for. It's all a blur. Document everything, because I sure as hell won't remember. At the end of the day, I'm happier working for THE MAN than being THE MAN. Also they have decent benefits like health insurance, which is important now that my wife is pregnant. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be a dad!  Anyway. It's been real AI, I will always fondly remember the days of regaling you with bad photography of my dumpy work, but those days have come to an end. DrPain fucked around with this message at 04:24 on May 28, 2015 |
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May 28, 2015 04:02
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Congratulations on your wife's pregnancy, I hope all goes smoothly for her and you. Good to see you have settled down in your job. Don't be a stranger here!
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May 28, 2015 04:18
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Grats on the future dad thing!
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May 28, 2015 05:15
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