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the lining of my rear end in a top hat. Two days ago I took the most painful poo poo of my entire life. It seriously had the density and girth of a baseball. The problem is I can already feel another one on the way. I am in fear for my life. Please help. 
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Mar 14, 2015 18:00
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:03 |
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Confradulations
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Mar 14, 2015 18:05
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got my fingers crossed for you op
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Mar 14, 2015 18:07
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Good, once the turd loosens up that lining just use a dildo to scrub it out of there gecafe-style.
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Mar 14, 2015 18:10
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Having good poops is not rocket science Drink a lot of water. quote:A daily intake of water is required for the normal physiological functioning of the human body. The USDA recommends a daily intake of total water: not necessarily by drinking but by consumption of water contained in other beverages and foods. The recommended intake is 3.7 liters (appx. 1 gallon) per day for an adult male, and 2.7 liters (appx. 0.75 gallon) for an adult female Like, a lot of fuckin water. It helps with poop and all sorts of other cool stuff in your body Also, eat fiber. Just eat some fruit and vegetables every now and then, it's not hard you're not a child I hope this helps your tummy and poo poos
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Mar 14, 2015 18:13
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gently caress I already have watery poops idk how the hell drinking MORE water is gonna help that situation
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Mar 14, 2015 18:25
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if you can feel it coming this far ahead, your ahead of the curve. get an enema or two at the ready, and a squirter of mineral oil
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Mar 14, 2015 18:26
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Get two chopsticks up their now to try and direct the poo poo on a path Then as it releases use your spare hands fingers to go inside and grasp it and form it as it exits
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Mar 14, 2015 18:30
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Rapman the Cook posted:Get two chopsticks up their now to try and direct the poo poo on a path Yeah get in there and unravel that baseball. Op
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Mar 14, 2015 18:33
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I just pooped a few minutes ago. It smelled sweet like baby poop
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Mar 14, 2015 18:33
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I already drink 9 bottles of water a day. I don't know what the hell is going on. The only thing I can think of is I recently had a monster burrito and chicken quesadilla from "Los Tacos De Pancho". Is this the price you pay when making a deal with "De Pancho"?Rapman the Cook posted:Get two chopsticks up their now to try and direct the poo poo on a path I was honestly very close to sticking my fingers up my butt and just mushing it around. I was in complete panic mode. I eventually just had to say gently caress it, and get it over with. It was like giving birth.
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Mar 14, 2015 19:14
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good luck gross guy
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Mar 14, 2015 19:15
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use a drill with a hole saw to take out the center mass of the turn before it comes out, that way it will collapse into a smaller size.
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Mar 14, 2015 19:17
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Captain Turner posted:I already drink 9 bottles of water a day. I don't know what the hell is going on. The only thing I can think of is I recently had a monster burrito and chicken quesadilla from "Los Tacos De Pancho". Is this the price you pay when making a deal with "De Pancho"? wont say this did not make me excited like a car crash or some gross bug infection
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Mar 14, 2015 19:18
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you never hear the goat man complaining about this sort of thing
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Mar 14, 2015 19:18
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Captain Turner posted:I already drink 9 bottles of water a day. I don't know what the hell is going on. The only thing I can think of is I recently had a monster burrito and chicken quesadilla from "Los Tacos De Pancho". Is this the price you pay when making a deal with "De Pancho"? lmao. seriously tho try miralax or something, having poops that are hard to pass can really mess up your bhole. it'll give you roids not if but when
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Mar 14, 2015 19:39
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Captain Turner posted:I already drink 9 bottles of water a day. I don't know what the hell is going on. The only thing I can think of is I recently had a monster burrito and chicken quesadilla from "Los Tacos De Pancho". Is this the price you pay when making a deal with "De Pancho"? Just rub your lower back and butt and massage it out. No need to dig around in the poop.
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Mar 14, 2015 19:42
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VLIy5n1q1I This but your rear end
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Mar 14, 2015 19:43
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Enjoy your anal fissures OP.
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Mar 14, 2015 19:44
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duh just give yourself a coffee enema
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Mar 14, 2015 19:47
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Are you addicted to opiates? Opiate addicts always take football size shits in people's garages and stuff.
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Mar 14, 2015 21:13
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dog buttz posted:Are you addicted to opiates? Opiate addicts always take football size shits in people's garages and stuff. Lol I remember taking a literal football sized poo poo after being on hydro codeine for a month it took an hour to come out and it hurt real bad.
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Mar 14, 2015 22:24
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I didn't know that! I'm going to my doctor right now to get some Pain killers
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Mar 14, 2015 22:26
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Return Of JimmyJars posted:Lol I remember taking a literal football sized poo poo after being on hydro codeine for a month it took an hour to come out and it hurt real bad. This is engineered by the pharma companies to make you buy more pills. Kind of like how Coke is made with salt.
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Mar 14, 2015 22:43
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funnel some draino up there, it clears clogs
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Mar 14, 2015 22:50
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think about this for a second really give it some thought it might blow your mind every day every single day someone out there someone you might know it could even be you someone takes the biggest poo poo in the world every single day.
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Mar 14, 2015 22:57
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Try to poop every day, OP. Maybe twice a day on major holidays. Clearly you aren't pooping enough and it's building up. Your Dead Gay Son posted:gently caress I already have watery poops idk how the hell drinking MORE water is gonna help that situation You need more fiber. The solution to OP's pooping/posting problems might not be the solution to your personal pooping problems. This goes for everyone else reading this, there are many pooping problems. Your personal pooping solution is as unique as your colon.
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Mar 14, 2015 23:23
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I've been having some digestive issues over the last three to four weeks and last weekend I had the most harrowing dump of my life
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Mar 14, 2015 23:29
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squirt a lil olive oil up there, a preemptive lube job evoo of course
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Mar 14, 2015 23:32
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If it legitimately had the density of a baseball you are a superhero of some sort.
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Mar 14, 2015 23:35
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kazr posted:squirt a lil olive oil up there, a preemptive lube job nothing virgin about that butthole
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Mar 14, 2015 23:35
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Zogo posted:If it legitimately had the density of a baseball you are a superhero of some sort. the last son of sphincton
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Mar 14, 2015 23:50
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It's probably a tumor, sorry OP
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Mar 15, 2015 00:05
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Zogo posted:If it legitimately had the density of a baseball you are a superhero of some sort. I've had shits before that felt as hard as concrete. Would not flush with a drain snake.
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Mar 15, 2015 00:09
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dog buttz posted:Are you addicted to opiates? Opiate addicts always take football size shits in people's garages and stuff. if u take a 3x dose of laxatives to "empty urself out" after a binge u will basically poo poo out a coke bottle followed by five pounds+ of poo poo lasagna. best to have a plunger ready at the very least, or ideally have a public commercial grade toilet nearby (handicap stall if possible because they have the most powerful toilets to handle the excrement of retarded people)
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Mar 15, 2015 00:16
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Come on it's not difficult if you have a really hard dry dump just push them out a centimetre at a time whilst solving a crossword puzzle on your phone
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Mar 15, 2015 00:18
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lmao @ your fecal woes
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Mar 15, 2015 00:21
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Can you get a Caesarian section for poop?
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Mar 15, 2015 01:23
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idk but if you're only making GBS threads once every two days or so something is wrong
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Mar 15, 2015 01:24
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 00:03 |
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death can be lovely sometimes
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Mar 15, 2015 01:27
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