I'd rather live in the suburbs

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I'd rather live in the suburbs

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

i just moved from the middle of an urban area to a suburb and i'm liking it way better. i've been living in apartments for about 7 years and i always considered myself an apartment person, don't need much space, etc but i think i changed my mind now. i always have parking(even for my guests), i'm closer to LA now so I have better city poo poo that's just slightly further, and I get to chill in the backyard and listen to music and smoke weed instead of having to choose between being couped up in my gay apartment, in some gay loud rear end restaurant, or at some gay park with gay kids. the american suburbs are perhaps the worst, least efficient form of spatially organizing a society, but it is dope as hell if you are a white person with a car who plans to die way before the suburbs destroy the world

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 23:16

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:27

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

Knyteguy posted:

excuse me can you do this in the suburbs you cultureless swine

Like a 5 minute drive instead of a 7 minute walk now but yeah

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 23:30

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

How far do you guys think a 7/11 or whatever your definition of corner store is from the average suburban house

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 23:16

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

himajinga posted:

I grew up in the suburbs, it's pretty drat far. I couldn't walk to anything really where I grew up, and if you were on a bike people were dicks to you and looked at you like you were some sort of weirdo. I really don't like having to walk 30+ minutes in a place that may or may not have sidewalks for a six pack and some smokes.

I'd definitely consider where I live a suburb b/c it's a part of the city that's almost all residences but there's still a grocery store, gas station, 7/11, etc right around the corner. alternatively plan your shopping better

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 23:35

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

himajinga posted:

Sometimes the necessity for beer defies the best laid plans

in the 'burbs you can have a fridge full of it in your garage

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 23:40

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

wtf

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 23:41

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

it's pretty quiet in the burbs. thats one of the main attractions.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 04:14

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

I put lectures from YouTube on until I fall asleep

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 05:29

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

Vorik posted:

one day you are going to wake up, and you are 44 and you will walk out to your your driveway and look around at the hundreds of other yous with similar houses, cars and driveways

it is going to hit you all at once, and you are going to break down right there on the driveway and cry your eyes out because you've wasted your life

you can barely feel anymore and the height of the past week was Pedro coming over to do your lawn

you will realize you've been having the exact same conversations with your wife, whom you stopped loving decades ago, your kids who you can't connect with, your neighbors who are as terrified of human interaction as you and you are going to curse yourself for being such a huge loving human being and for not realizing you willingly moved yourself and your family to a limbo where life is under constant assault until there is hardly anything left for anyone to feel. you are trapped here forever, in this pocket dimension and the world will move on without you and in 5000 years you are still going to be a human being

i am 100% positive that living in the city doesn't make your life not worthless and atomized

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 17:46

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

Devil Wears Wings posted:

it's ok, not all of us have given up our hopes and dreams for domestic bliss and a half acre lawn

there's still time to join us

you can fly once again, Pauline Kael

your hopes and dreams are a crock of poo poo, give up.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 20:16

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

Deserts own though

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 21:20

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

Doccers posted:

If I wake up at 44 and my neighbors all have similar cars and driveways to us, I will laugh myself into a coma.

Meanwhile, you will continue to live in your miniscule cell surrounded by thousands of other schlubs in their miniscule cells, all walking to their dreary dead end jobs in your office cubicle cell which is so indistinguishable from your home cell that you need to hit the same overpriced downtown bar every night to drink away the pain until you are numb enough to go back to your home cell and hopefully sleep it off in time to go back to your work cell so you can afford your home cell and to hit the bar again, all the while trying to convince yourself that "This is living" and that at least you're not tied down to a house or hobbies or long term relationships. No, you are lovingly cradled with thousands of others, and you are Free. Who needs open spaces when you have Jose to cultivate your artificial park that you and a thousand other drones can shamble through on your way to the next drink?

Man, you've got it made compared to those scrubs living out in the sticks. I mean, how far would THEY have to walk to get a decent latte?

man, not even a starbucks in sight..

guess what your method of living is just as worthless, your life is meaningless garbage

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 17:50

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

if i ever become a city DRONE like you ZOMBIES i'm gonna hang myself *lives in a big loving trash can*

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 17:53

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

if i ever believe for even one second that there's an existence with meaning somewhere out there please loving shoot me

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 18:46

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:27

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

Pauline Kael posted:

You should definitely whine some more about how suburbs consume too many resources for your liking, and how only you have the answer.

you're retarded

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 21:42

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I'd rather live in the suburbs