I'd rather live in the suburbs

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I'd rather live in the suburbs

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

it just seems a bit better quality of life to me :vapes:

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 16:28

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 13:07

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Knyteguy posted:

I live in the suburbs and I have a 5 minute commute. It's pretty nice when your work is in the suburbs I get a big yard with two garages, an ok sized home, and I can still ride my bike to work like all the crazy hipsters.

basically kill youreself op

I.....was agreeing with you! shitbird!

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 17:17

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

caberham posted:

Hey, living in the city centre is so awesome right guys?

Well you can be cool and hip like these folks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKf08vWTkKA

Just wondering if this is real or a parody, OP?

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 17:18

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

ChickenRiceNPeas posted:

Compared to what?

compared to the city, OP.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 17:20

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Chinatown posted:

"quality of life" aka "no scary minorities" right OP?

Large yard you can garden in? have pets that you actually care for yourself? have a car that you can work on? I'm a little confused OP.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 18:06

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Three Olives posted:

Any goons considering the suburbs should definitely move there like the uncultured swine they are leaving the cities for the rest of us that give a poo poo about culture. Don't even come to the cities, enjoy your Applebees.

I'm a little confused OP. You live in dallas?

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 18:07

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Good. Boring people need to be ghettoed in the suburbs so the rest of us can pretend you're just a myth.

Hmmmmmm what is interesting about you, OP?

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 18:14

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Dangit Ronpaul posted:

surprised at how many people itt have brought up working on cars as a reason to move to the suburbs

if you're really trying to sell people on it you should probably come at them with something a bit more compelling than "guess what, you can now do this thing most people who can afford it pay somebody else to do because it's a poo poo job"

LOL

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 18:23

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Three olives lives in the city of dallas. And his dad pays the rent. :confused:

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 03:03

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Jonny 290 posted:

i live in denver metro and have a project car and 3 parking spots and have three digit rent. also there are garages here where you pay $20 an hour to rent a stall with a lift. if you need help there is an ASE mechanic hanging out that you can tap for 59 an hour to help, or for 79 an hour he'll just do it for you.

gently caress the suburbs

3 digit rent?

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 05:38

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Pauline Kael posted:

1) Denver is not a city, not in any rational sense of the word - if it was you wouldn't have 3 parking spots and 3 digit rent
2) I don't need someone else's lift or help from an ASE mechanic, because I'm not a human being retard, my arms are big enough to actuate a hydraulic jack, and my public education has provided me the necessary level of aptitude to read a Chilton's manual
3) you should be careful, with all those edges

drat

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 22:25

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Jonny 290 posted:

i live in denver metro and have a project car and 3 parking spots and have three digit rent. also there are garages here where you pay $20 an hour to rent a stall with a lift. if you need help there is an ASE mechanic hanging out that you can tap for 59 an hour to help, or for 79 an hour he'll just do it for you.

gently caress the suburbs

Ya dude wait a tick. You live in the drat suburbs you idiot! No wonder you're happy!

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 22:26

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

If you have a garage you live in a loving suburb. What the gently caress. If you have three parking spots and pay 503 a month you love in a drat suburb. Jesus

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 02:24

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Nathilus posted:

I've been in some burbclaves that were so bland and samey that it traumatized me. Like, once we were driving through a north austin suburb to get to a friend of mine's parents' house. We all lived and went to school in San Antonio so austin trips were fairly common and easy. But we kept going through this god damned suburb and every block was exactly the same. I got a very sickening feeling and also felt like I was detached from reality. Like, the only way I can explain it is a little voice going "You are now entering: The Stepford Wives. Have a nice day." accompanied by dissociation and massive dread. I expect I'd feel the exact same way if I got abducted and stuck in the Hypercube or shrunk down and put in a gerbil run.

what im trying to say is ur thread triggered me, OP.

Ya the only place I've seen the kind of trash heap "suburb" where the houses are built with the same plan is in Arizona and Nevada. Texas of course must similarly be a fail aids state naturally. Subdivisions where all the houses are the same are not suburbs

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 02:28

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

himajinga posted:

SE 24th & Hawthorne in Portland is not a suburb you dildo

Post a streetview, fucknut

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 04:01

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

himajinga posted:

SE 24th & Hawthorne in Portland is not a suburb you dildo

LMAO I just looked this up google maps. This is a SUBURB you ridiculous fail aidsman.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 04:05

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

It's great toLive in the city with our nice trees and yards and single family homes with driveways

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 04:07

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

RBA Starblade posted:

Can we all at least agree that whether or not suburbs are superior to city living (it's not), they are both preferable to living in the middle of nowhere in some dying rural wasteland, where the one thing to do is stare into the distance as everything falls into decay and ruin because the coal ran out years ago?

No.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 17:30

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Three Olives posted:

What are you talking about? You know there are nice places in the city right? My neighborhood starts in like the $200 a sqft range or just slightly more than a decent suburban house, you just have to get a townhouse instead of a McMansion or a nice condo.

You live in a shithole "city" OP

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:17

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Three Olives posted:

You live in a depressing wasteland.

This is literally a plastic trash tacky hell scape. I would not even consider this ....anything really this is basically a bunch of strip malls on top of each other even makes real cities look good to live in by comparison it's so loving bland OP .

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:21

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Also I like the people saying that your children will be sheltered if they don't grow up in the city and then in the same breath saying that poor people live in the suburbs. There's a reason that yuppies are considered synonymous with sheltered baby fail aids.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:27

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Knyteguy posted:

also you dumb idiots i wasnt trying to post a glamour shot of my neighbors house because hes dead so no upkeep happens until the bank takes it i mean cmon i obviously say how close everything was

let me give you a better look at my backyard which is more in line with what i may consider a cool picture to show off suburbia

You have a mental illness if you don't think this view and living here would be better than living in a "condo" in the city

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:29

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Devil Wears Wings posted:

no single person said both of those things

I think you'll find that three olives said both of these things OP.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:30

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

So far the only person who has earnestly defended city life proper is three olives in a gay condo. Then 2 guys said it's really great livng in a "city" with a detached single family home and multi car garage and driveway. Turns out they were living in a suburb that was nominally part of the 'cities' of Denver and Portland respectively. Lmao.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:37

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

himajinga posted:

So if you live in a decently sized apartment, don't care about cars, don't want kids or a dog, make good money, like going to see bands/art/whathaveyou, like being able to walk to downtown/to bars/amentites/etc, have a SO and an advanced degree, don't care about power tools or whatever, are not into anime, are not surrounded by homeless people 24/7, have respectful, quiet neighbors who are chill when you want to be loud on the weekend, a beautiful view of downtown, and live in the densest zip code in Seattle, what are the drawbacks of city life again?

There are no drawbacks to this hypothetical scenario of being a single manchild software developer with no kids who is afraid of homeless people and has neighbors who are mysteriously quiet yet let him wail away on his $3000 guitar whenever he wants.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:49

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

But if you think your dreams of being cool city dad are going to come true once your Asian "SO" starts wanting kids... Your fedora is son too tight .........

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:52

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

himajinga posted:

She's white and we don't want kids

Ah, greetings. "We" indeed OP.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 22:54

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

hemophilia posted:

"you're crazy if you don't want to live inside an actual desert." - A 'sane' and 'well adjusted' person.

*Pets the nOob on the head*

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 23:18

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Do It Once Right posted:

I remember back when gas was over $4 a gallon. All the suburbanites commuting to work for an hour one-way in their SUV's flipped the gently caress out.

Bitching about how they can't sell their SUV and get a car because then their kids won't fit. Bitching that they can't move closer to work because they don't want their kids in the 'bad' school district. Bitching that the boss wouldn't let them telecommute from home once a week (lol), scheduling early morning project meetings to justify driving a company car home at night.

If gas ever hits $5/gallon, there will be mass suicides in suburbia. Those schlubs would rather die than be seen on their non-existant public transportation.

Ya it's tough being an adult ? What's your point OP

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 00:48

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Do It Once Right posted:

It's really not. Send your kids to private school, even if it's just a lovely catholic one.
Can't afford that? Don't have kids.

Live beneath your means so that when commodities fluctuate you can whether the storm. Don't buy a boat. Because then you're the neighbor who bought a boat.
Or a timeshare. Jesus Christ, you know how everybody knows the suburbs are a bad decision? Because the people surrounding you are a statistical honeypot of poor decision-makers trying soooo hard to manage their money responsibly.

You're dumb

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 02:12

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

So far suburb goons have posted beautiful vistas and badass trucks. A city person posted a picture of what appears to be a bunch of strip malls out his window. Looks like suburbs are in the lead so far.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 18:46

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 13:07

Foid One: Mar 2, 2015; by Ralp

Magnitogorsk. posted:

How mad does it make you suburbanites that I live in a detached house and have a car while living in the city

So do I and it got keyed the other day by some city dwelling un-man. Don't even know why. Just another reason why the suburbs are better. Lol.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 20:32

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I'd rather live in the suburbs