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ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



I'm not sure how you do this. I put sprinkled cheese on the chips and tried to put them int he toast oven, the dish would not fit. I thought about using the microwave. I ended up preheating the oven to 350 F and I just put them in

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JakeP
Apr 27, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Lipstick Apathy
you have to light the cheese on fire then fling it on the chips while its burnning

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Nachos... more like Not'chos, mine

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

ethanol posted:

I'm not sure how you do this. I put sprinkled cheese on the chips and tried to put them int he toast oven, the dish would not fit. I thought about using the microwave. I ended up preheating the oven to 350 F and I just put them in

Your toaster oven probably came with a tray your could have put the chips on. Just trying to help.

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



they are not very satisfying, i should have used salsa or something ......

Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.
melt the cheese ethanol

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

ethanol posted:

they are not very satisfying, i should have used salsa or something ......

Nachos are generally improved by adding 3-5 things on to them.

Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW
Adding sodium citrate to cheese while melting it will give it that gooey movie theater style consistency.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Cut a block of velveeta into a butter stick shape, and chill it very well, maybe until it's almost frozen. You need it to be sort of hard. Then, slide it up into your sweet puckered butthole.

Now, you'll have to wait at least an hour, maybe more if you don't have a nice warm internal temp. You might want to do a few miles on your treadmill.

Now, dice some jalapenos over a plate of tortilla chips, and maybe a handful of sliced black olives, if that's your taste. Set the plate on the floor, and squat. Let nature take it's course.

If you're like me, you like a nice hunk of guac on top, and if so, you're going to have to work a peeled avocado up there, and do a few crunches. Don't be a noob like I was the first time and forget to remove the pit!

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



gently caress this sucks whose idea was it to make nachos

all I can taste is salt

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

You could probably make shrimp nachos if you thought about good things that go with shrimp and tortilla chips.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003


Thank you Trash Mammal. Welcome to dog world b*tch*s


THIS SHOWSTOPPING SIGGY MADE BY journeyman SIGSMITH Luvcow

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THIS SHOWSTOPPING SIGGY MADE BY MASTER SIGSMITH Literally A Person

Official height endorsed by a medical professional: 5'11.5"

olaf2022
Feb 19, 2003
Fun Shoe
learn how to make sad nachos from convicted sex offender steven reed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6KAVzPb_yQ

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
1. Get chips
2. poo poo on chips

Problem solved. Next.

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

Slime Bro Helpdesk posted:

You could probably make shrimp nachos if you thought about good things that go with shrimp and tortilla chips.

Like you'd probably want a creamy chili sauce instead of cheese? And then some horseradish? IDK

ghost host
Apr 17, 2010

ain't got no cash
ain't go no style

Taima
Dec 31, 2006

tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know
Here's the way to make the best easy nachos:

just get some ground beef, put a taco season packet up in there and some onions if you're fancy and cook it or whatever

Get some fresh jalapenos cuttin'

put the oven on broiler and melt the cheese over the chips. Cover in beef. sprinkle on some easy seasonings like garlic powder, onion powder or whatever and pepper

pop down those fresh chiles on top

Now you're cookin with gas son and that just took 4 minutes to do.

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

how do you gently caress up making nachos for reals

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

kazr posted:

how do you gently caress up making nachos for reals

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



kazr posted:

how do you gently caress up making nachos for reals

i recommend you give it a try, its an easy mistake to make thinking u just need cheese and chips but really you need a lot more than that, my nachos came out like poo poo

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

do i put the cheese on the plate and chips on top of that or do i put salsa first?!

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Chips + Cheese + Slow cooked pork + Avocato.

Borrowed Ladder
May 4, 2007

monarch of the sleeping marches
This thread is grossing me out and it wasnt even from the guy who said to put frozen Velveeta up your butt and then eat it

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



Sweet Tea posted:

do i put the cheese on the plate and chips on top of that or do i put salsa first?!

chips, cheese, cook, and then salsa i think if i had to do this all over again with salsa

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

do i put all the chips and cheese into the same pan i cook the meat in to heat them up also? seriously wtf

Mexican Deathgasm
Aug 17, 2010

Ramrod XTreme
spread chips in a single layer on a cookie sheet

add chopped green onion, tomato, red capsicum, and then grate a combination of old cheddar and monterey jack on top

heat at 350 for like 10 minutes

douse entire pan in ketchup and ranch

throw on floor

kill self

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

i give up.

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

Walk 2 blocks to taqueria. Ask for nachos. Pay them $5.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


if you want some approximation of nacho cheese sauce like what you get at bad mexican food places when you're stoned at 4am, you need a pot, some velveeta, milk, and flour if you want a thickener. boil the milk melt the cheese in there add some flour if you want, it helps.

i don't remember the measurements just use common sense. if you don't use milk melted velveeta will immediately rubberize into something horrible the second it cools.

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

poo poo if you're poor chips and cheese ain't all that terrible but a few jalapenos are literally less than half a dollar, can of olives, maybe a tomato if you're really fancy

nachos are like a child's first foray into cooking, drat son

nachos own i commend you on your efforts, better luck next time and don't give up!

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007





another problem how do you saturate the chips with cheese, I ended up with unusable chips



in the center and bottom where the cheese did not saturate

The Duchess Smackarse
May 8, 2012

by Lowtax

ethanol posted:

I'm not sure how you do this. I put sprinkled cheese on the chips and tried to put them int he toast oven, the dish would not fit. I thought about using the microwave. I ended up preheating the oven to 350 F and I just put them in

Use the fukkin broiler you idiot

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

this is bullshit how am i supposed to make nachos. with a thread like this??

Fidel Cuckstro
Jul 2, 2007

ethanol posted:



another problem how do you saturate the chips with cheese, I ended up with unusable chips



in the center and bottom where the cheese did not saturate

Just use more cheese next time?

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


arrange the chips and spoon out salsa so you get salsa on each chip. avoid saturating edges or they get soggy. sprinkle shredded cheese over every chip.

repeat like 3-4 times so you get multiple layers

cover and put that poo poo in the microwave on 50% power for 3 minutes

eat

i only say to avoid making the chips soggy because nachos are best eaten using your hands, fork is only for a last resort/scraping melted cheese off the bottom of the plate

acceptable tier nachos

cams
Mar 28, 2003


el polo loco has really good chicken nachos

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



im pooping! posted:

arrange the chips and spoon out salsa so you get salsa on each chip. avoid saturating edges or they get soggy. sprinkle shredded cheese over every chip.

repeat like 3-4 times so you get multiple layers

cover and put that poo poo in the microwave on 50% power for 3 minutes

eat

i only say to avoid making the chips soggy because nachos are best eaten using your hands, fork is only for a last resort/scraping melted cheese off the bottom of the plate

acceptable tier nachos

Interesting sounds Labour intensive though and I thought this was supposed to be easy

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


ethanol posted:

Interesting sounds Labour intensive though and I thought this was supposed to be easy

you can spend some time making nachos that dont piss you off or you can make garbage tier nachos and complain about it on the internet, your choice bucko

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


What you don't spend in money, you're going to spend in time. Good food takes prep time even nachos especially if you don't have things ready to go like a decent cheese sauce chillin in a container in your frigdge. which means at some point you have to go out buy good cheese and have the practice in cooking to not gently caress up making a cheese sauce or else you're left broiling/microwaving shredded cheese on top of a layer or two of chips

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babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

congrats on ruining nachos op, one of the simplest dishes to make

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