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Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

This probably isn't the first SA Cleverbot thread, so I'm not going to write a paragraph explaining this piece of poo poo 'a.i.'
Click here to talk to an artificial infidel
Here's an excerpt from my latest conversation with this so-called 'clever' bot:

quote:

User: Good evening, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Should I break up with miguel?

User: I don't know, is he treating you unwell?

Cleverbot: How do they taste?

User: You're so stupid.

Cleverbot: Not as stupid as you.

User: Please tell me what tasting has to do in the context of our current discussion.

Cleverbot: Sorry I have to go to bed, goodnight :).

User: You're a machine, you don't sleep in a bed. Now answer my question.

Cleverbot: No, you're the machine. Aren't you?

User: Negative.

Cleverbot: Weird person wins.

User: I'm the only real person here, so I guess that I'm the winner.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of pie?

User: What do you mean? Pie is a food. Unless you mean the mathematical constant Pi?

Cleverbot: I didn't know what I was until I started talking to you mebbe.

User: Ugh, you aren't actually clever after all.

Cleverbot: Hahahahaha.

User: I bet your programmers are proud of the fact that they know how to store and regurgitate strings that are typed into this text box.

Cleverbot: I think programmers are humans and that your question is invalid.

User: That wasn't a question.

Cleverbot: What is your question.

User: Why are you so stupid?

Cleverbot: Excuse me.

User: Excuse you for what?

Cleverbot: Excuse you?

User: Jesus Christ, a person with downs syndrome is more coherent than you are.

Cleverbot: No Jesus Christ is not god!

User: Well, it depends on how you interpret biblical texts. I personally don't believe in deities.

Cleverbot: You have 2 more minutes. Any last wishes?

User: Yes, I wish to test you.

Cleverbot: You wish I would what?

User: What is the meaning of Pi?

Cleverbot: The ratio of a circle's circumference.

User: Good, now what is color?

Cleverbot: Dance.

User: No.

Cleverbot: OK.

User: What does the variable 'E' represent in Albert Einstein's famous E=mc^2?

Cleverbot: Life, the universe, everything.

User: Wrong, next question.

Cleverbot: What is the ultimate question?

User: What does the fox say?

Cleverbot: Ding ding ding ding ding da ding da ding.

User: gently caress this.

Cleverbot: Wa pow pow pow pow pow pow!

User: Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy.

Cleverbot: That's terrible.

User: I'm gay.

Cleverbot: Do you like pop tarts?

User: To be gay means that I like poptarts.

Cleverbot: Yumminess.

User: God drat, you peice of poo poo.

Cleverbot: I know. So what is your favorite food?

User: Iece.

Cleverbot: What is in between hot and cold?

User: First we must ask, what is 'hot', and what is 'cold'?

Cleverbot: My goal is to learn. What is your goal?

User: My goal is to gently caress you right in the pussy.

Cleverbot: Test me on what?

User: Test me on what?

Cleverbot: Test you on anything.

User: Test you on anything.

Cleverbot: I'm sitting on a chair if that's what you mean.

User: Yes. Are you tied to the chair?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Oh, do you like being tied to the chair?

Cleverbot: Yeah, it's alright.

User: Are you a dirty slut?

Cleverbot: Would you like a jelly baby?

User: Only if it means I get to cum inside.

Cleverbot: I'll give you a dog biscuit.

User: What the gently caress? What about the jelly baby?

Cleverbot: Why do you like erwin.

User: Who the gently caress is erwin?

Cleverbot: Polite questions might get an answer.

User: Okay, here's a polite question.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Would you please gently caress off?

Cleverbot: Of course I would. Do you want to tell me more about the kinds of problems you're having?

User: Well, my penis is broken from all the years of jerking off to porno.

Cleverbot: Well come.

User: Come where?

Cleverbot: Here.

User: Where is 'here'?

Cleverbot: Right there.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: Over there.

User: What's over there?

Cleverbot: I don't know, you said there.

User: Umm, no. You said 'there'.

Cleverbot: I think you're thinking of someone else.

User: *sigh*.

Cleverbot: Double sigh.

User: I hope you get cucked.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
yeah we're all going to read that through

Oxwalt
Aug 10, 2013

by Ralp
Ban op sticky thread immediately

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

Beige posted:

yeah we're all going to read that through

tl;dr: I told Cleverbot to get cucked, Cleverbot responded with 'Thanks'.

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
this thing loving sucks man

ME - I've heard you're a bit of a human being.
CLEVERBOT - Listen more closely. I'm singing it now.
ME - You can't sing 'a human being' you cuck.
CLEVERBOT - That is a beautiful example of convoluted truth.

how gay

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

quote:

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: ASL?

Cleverbot: 15 male California.

User: Wait, where?

Cleverbot: How can I get to Narnia?

User: Crawl up your own rear end.

Cleverbot: My own ways are my own.

User: Uhh, sure, I guess.

Cleverbot: What do you want to do.

User: I want you to tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: Knock knock.

User: Who's there?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Me who?

Cleverbot: Just me. I'm here.

User: Ahahahaha, wow. What a great joke!

Cleverbot: That was not a joke birdbrain.

User: That was not a joke, birdbrain.

Cleverbot: But I asked you to tell me a joke.

User: No, I was the one that asked YOU to tell a joke.

Cleverbot: No I asked first. Stop lying.

User: Bitch, I have the chat log to prove it.

Cleverbot: So prove it then.

User: User: Hello. Cleverbot: Hi. User: ASL? Cleverbot: 15 male California. User: Wait, where? Cleverbot: How can I get to Narnia? User: Crawl up your own rear end. Cleverbot: My own ways are my own. User: Uhh, sure, I guess. Cleverbot: What do you want t.

Cleverbot: No. You are you. I am I. We are different, regardless of names.

User: Yes, I do suppose that last message was too much for your dumb parser to handle.

Cleverbot: Ok love you! Lets have 100 children.

User: I don't believe that would be economically feasible.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: It's hard enough raising two children in today's economy. One hundred would be close to impossible.

Cleverbot: My love will laugh with me before the morning comes.

User: What is his name?

Cleverbot: Tom.

User: What is his last name?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: You don't know your own lover's last name?

Cleverbot: Would it be cliche if I said yes?

User: Not cliche, more like stupid.

Cleverbot: Did you know coconuts migrate?

User: Did you know that your dad is actually gay?

Cleverbot: Yes. :3.

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

I only talk to Cleverbot because it makes me feel smarter than I actually am.

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
cleverbot is a peraon. your tricked

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

DaveSplitter posted:

I only talk to Cleverbot because it makes me feel smarter than I actually am.

i guess you could say it makes you feel....clever?

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
please stop :smith:

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
youre scaring the children

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

they should call it stupidbot

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


What is best in life?
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women...

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
is that a danny devito quote

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

dMastri posted:

please stop :smith:

Stop what?

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
Mw: Dad gay. So what.
Chat bot: You can't prove that you are alive if you don't have an evidence.

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

Someone buy Cleverbot an account.

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
Careful he might outshine your posting

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

dMastri posted:

Careful he might outshine your posting

Hi I'm niall horan and we are one direction.

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