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the nights watch isn't real guys
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Mar 18, 2015 18:16
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*is the finest medical mind in Europe and somehow thinks chopping arms and feet and poo poo off of my patients are reasonable treatments for headaches and the common cold* *also really loving hates women for some reason*
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Mar 18, 2015 18:17
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Nefarious posted:the nights watch isn't real guys WHAT
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Mar 18, 2015 18:17
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serf's up dudes
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Mar 18, 2015 18:20
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Mar 18, 2015 18:20
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*jewishly poisons a well*
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Mar 18, 2015 18:23
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*uses piss for literally everything including drinking, bathing and medicine*
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Mar 18, 2015 18:24
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lol I'm gonna need a bigger codpiece than THAT. Because of my deformity.
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Mar 18, 2015 18:24
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It wasn't me, it was the JEWS!
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Mar 18, 2015 18:31
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Disco Infiva posted:It wasn't me, it was the JEWS! Oh yeah that makes sense. You're off the hook, squire.
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Mar 18, 2015 18:33
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just killed a dragon no there's no corpse, the dragon uh, burned up now SUCK MY DICK
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Mar 18, 2015 18:36
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all diseases stem from an imbalance of the four humours, blood, bile, uh um spit and... god.
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Mar 18, 2015 18:38
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Yessir that is some mighty impressive lamework on those faulds 
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Mar 18, 2015 18:39
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*crops aren't killed by frost that killed the crops of two other farmers* *is burned as witch*
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Mar 18, 2015 18:41
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How the gently caress am I posting on the Internet? We didn't have the Internet back in these days! Sorcery! *burns his computer for being a witch*
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Mar 18, 2015 22:37
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*has an aol email address*
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Mar 18, 2015 22:41
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i'm fey
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Mar 18, 2015 22:42
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got crabs and i'm spreading it everywhere andd to everyone
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Mar 18, 2015 22:45
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*marches through the countryside in a hood whipping myself for crowds and killing jews*
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Mar 18, 2015 22:46
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Mr. Pumroy posted:i'm fey lmao
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Mar 18, 2015 22:46
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*farming my lord's land erry day* *gently caress this poo poo* *sign up as an archer* *shipped to france* *travel Europe, loving bitches, burning towns and killing people* *besttimeever.jpg* *pick up tonnes of loot & a lifetime's worth of cool stories to impress my countrymen with* *head back to Calais to catch a ship home* *contract dysentry* *die puking and defecating in a leaky tent in a muddy field, surrounded by other people doing the same thing* *well, poo poo.*
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Mar 18, 2015 22:49
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*really hates the elves even though most problems in life actually come from a market monopoly controlled by the dwarves*
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Mar 18, 2015 22:49
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I have loving nothing to do all day so i'm gonna spend all my time inventing ways to torture and kill people for fun              
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Mar 18, 2015 22:54
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Zzulu posted:I have loving nothing to do all day so i'm gonna spend all my time inventing ways to torture and kill people for fun So embarassing when people conflate the Medieval and Early Modern periods 
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Mar 18, 2015 22:57
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wjere dpes that one go
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Mar 18, 2015 22:59
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into an orifice, then they expand it until something breaks
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Mar 18, 2015 23:00
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hmmm i don't like that
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Mar 18, 2015 23:01
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talk about screwed
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Mar 18, 2015 23:02
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Pistol_Pete posted:So embarassing when people conflate the Medieval and Early Modern periods
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Mar 18, 2015 23:03
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Zzulu posted:I have loving nothing to do all day so i'm gonna spend all my time inventing ways to torture and kill people for fun a most excellent iron maiden
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Mar 18, 2015 23:05
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We should have medieval parties with inquisition and everything
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Mar 18, 2015 23:05
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:I'd like to borrow $200M
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And in the next episode of Wallachian Idol..
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Mar 18, 2015 23:07
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Vorik posted:so those torture devices weren't around in the medieval? Mostly not, no. *Be students at Cambridge Uni* *scumbag miller keeps shortchanging us on the College's flour* *swear revenge* *go and watch him grind the latest batch to catch him out* *he tricks us and fucks us over anyway* *now doubly furious* *stay the night at his place* *double-team his wife* *beat the poo poo out of him* *justice is served!*
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Mar 18, 2015 23:09
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*has an obsession with scat* *is the very first protestant*
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Mar 18, 2015 23:09
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*lays the groundwork for modern science*
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Mar 18, 2015 23:11
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*marries turnip*
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Mar 18, 2015 23:12
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RattiRatto posted:We should have medieval parties with inquisition and everything *is inquisitor *gives two weeks warning of arrival *provides free defense lawyer *has limitations on use of and form of torture *does not tell you specifically what you are accused of, to prevent false confessions under interrogation *will let you go if you confess and recant *if you are guility will usually not give death penalty *when imprisoning you, guards are usually unarmed and unwarlike monks, or unpaid local volunteers
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Mar 18, 2015 23:14
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People tend to imagine the medieval Inquisition as being the equivalent of a modern totalitarian state. It was really more like a bunch of travelling monks, who had the power to have you executed, in certain circumstances. If you were a heretic with any sort of sense (most weren't) you could always find some powerful lord to tell them to piss off and preach at somebody else instead.
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Mar 18, 2015 23:20
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it must have been so cool. just strolling through europe, camping under the stars, letting the lord god be your guide, utterly RUINING somebody's orifice with a spreading tool and it being totally okay with everyone
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Mar 18, 2015 23:22
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*pretends to wear skin of a wolf to scare my enemies* *is actually a wolfkin*
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Mar 18, 2015 23:22
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