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Porkchop Weebottoms
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# ? Apr 19, 2015 20:03 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 09:08 |
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When I was a kid, I used to think that pork chops and wee bottoms were the same thing. I thought they were both pork chops. And because my jester thought it was cute, and because they were my favorite, he nicknamed me Porkchop Weebottoms. I didn't think it was a big deal. One day, before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees, I fell out of a tree, and bruised the right side of my body. I didn't want to tell my personal attendants about it because I was scared I'd get in trouble for playing somewhere I shouldn't have been. A few days later, my swimming tutor noticed the bruise and I got sent to the infirmary. From there, I was sent to another small room with black flags and a hooded man who asked me all kinds of questions about my life at the castle. I saw no reason to lie. As far as I was concerned, life was pretty good. I told him that I was sad, so they gave me a jester and he dubbed me Porkchop Weebottoms! This led to a full-scale rebellion, and the castle was under siege for three days until my parents finally asked me why the peasants were demanding the immediate abdication of Porkchop Weebottoms. News of this silly little story quickly spread through the castle and my jester was tracked down and put to death where he stood for being so loving stupid. To this day, I hate pork chops. quote:>>Go back<< What a stunning bit of work from a newly-hired jester, buddy! Not only did you break Kid Hamlet's heart by dubbing him Porkchop Weebottoms, you traumatized him so deeply that his future has been destroyed and by the time he turns thirty he's reduced to the status of a common gravedigger! Toodles, Yorick! We'll come back to you when you're ready to not do that again. Previously, on To Be or Not To Be: After murdering Claudius, Ghost King Hamlet discovered that his widow had married Claudius shortly after her husband's death. However, the Ghost King looked deep inside himself and found he was sort of okay with this, and retook the throne of Denmark thanks to a fictional constitutional provision. But was this really the best decision to make?
Voting ends Monday at 10 PM CST. Pittsburgh Lambic fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Apr 19, 2015 |
# ? Apr 19, 2015 21:19 |
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Get Porkchop Weebottoms to do it Also voting we only call him Porkchop Weebottoms from now on.
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# ? Apr 19, 2015 21:53 |
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Option 1Arglebargle III posted:Wow I do not understand nerds getting angry at comedy CYOA books. If anything the way the OP has chosen to handle game-overs is making the book boring since we're just mechanically save-scumming to explore every path that doesn't lead to a dead-end. That sort of presentation is going to lead to the LP dead end! For this thread! Of course an adventure-is-chosen-by-you book loses its charm when you just read every outcome. This would be true if the CYOA was good, but it's not. I do not want to keep making the same choices over and over to get to a new one when most choices lead to game over.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 03:32 |
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Option 1 Because of the nature of the book (has to contain the whole of the plot of hamlet plus choices relating to the play all the way to the many possible endings) and because the book is already over 700 pages Irl, anytime you choose to run completely in the opposite direction from the plot (or in our case, refuse to even start the plot), it's going to give you a game over fairly quickly. Because otherwise the book would have to be double or triple the size. I mean, the book isn't a Ghost Marine Biology choose your own adventure book, after all. In essence: the choices don't suck (in that specific way, anyway), we've sucked at choosing, so far. In that spirit, we need to get hamlet to kill for us.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 20:32 |
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What the gently caress are you retards doing
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:20 |
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Are you seriously doing a let's play of a book
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:20 |
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Do yourself a favor, don't look through the rest of the forum.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:21 |
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notoriousman posted:Do yourself a favor, don't look through the rest of the forum. Jesus
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:23 |
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My next Let's Play is going to be a SSLP (Screen shot let's play) of my DVD of Terminator 2, with audience participation in the form of periodical votes on whether or not i should go to the chapter selection menu and zone out at the thumbnails
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:26 |
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no they will not posted:Are you seriously doing a let's play of a book Beats buying and reading it myself. I'm a lazy gently caress.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:37 |
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We read books,, so you don't have to!!!
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:38 |
no they will not posted:Are you seriously doing a let's play of a book don't ever look up something like Choice of Robots on Steam, your innocence will be shattered forever
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 21:42 |
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My new LP of the new Squarepusher LP should be up by Friday. Format will be close up of spinning vinyl with silent facecam inset of me reclining closing my eyes to better concentrate on the music. Audience participation will NOT affect the track order, but I will be allowing voting on the angle, distance etc of the camera in relation to the turntable. Updates will be bi-weekly, and be sure to check out my patreon if you enjoyed.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 22:53 |
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no they will not posted:My new LP of the new Squarepusher LP should be up by Friday. Format will be close up of spinning vinyl with silent facecam inset of me reclining closing my eyes to better concentrate on the music. Audience participation will NOT affect the track order, but I will be allowing voting on the angle, distance etc of the camera in relation to the turntable. Updates will be bi-weekly, and be sure to check out my patreon if you enjoyed. Quiet or the RGD posters will start unironically doing this.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 23:03 |
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It's time to finally see what the Ghost King's son can do about this situation. Let's go and coax him into murdering a family member.quote:We're prodded about whether we want to really do this. The second option just kicks us back to sneaking into Claudius's room and exploding him, so we're going to soldier ahead. quote:
That's a hell of a list. Are we sure we're going to go on and spread death and chaos in the world of the living instead? In other news, the Steam release of To Be or Not To Be has an additional perk over the app: We can play the game with full audio narration by Matt Yantha! In actuality, it's not very functional in the game -- running audio narration causes new pages text blocks to appear automatically, and they try to match the flow of the narration but desync very badly. He's a good narrator, though, and very plain-spoken, for the most part ignoring all the allcaps and exclamation points littering Ryan North's style of writing. I'll be including the relevant audio clips in future updates, and am going to start editing past posts to have the same once I work out some issues with tindeck. Pittsburgh Lambic fucked around with this message at 04:08 on Jun 5, 2015 |
# ? Apr 21, 2015 03:34 |
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We can figure that out later. For now, it's murder time.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 03:47 |
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Murder
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 04:37 |
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Look, there are apparently not alternate ways things can go on for any length if we stop and consider our possibilities, because that has not once worked thusfar. There is one path for Ghostdad, and it's to see our son murder a man.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 05:01 |
Porkchop Weebottoms must kill.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 07:51 |
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Option 1 On that note, kickstarter backers of this project received a special, four-pronged bookmark as one of the stretch goals: For the express purpose of savescumming all to poo poo. quote:Sometimes when you read a book you want to save where you are and come back later, right? That's what a bookmark is for. But in a multiple-path book, usually you'll have your fingers in several places of the book, in case you make a mistake and need to go back. If only there was a bookmark designed specifically for books like these, and maybe it could be a Yorick skull with big ol' teeth, and maybe instead of calling it a bookmark we could get clever and call it a "Plot Device". Pittsburgh Lambic fucked around with this message at 13:54 on Apr 21, 2015 |
# ? Apr 21, 2015 13:33 |
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:It's time to finally see what the Ghost King's son can do about this situation. Let's go and coax him into murdering a family member. Justify this thread's existence, you little beast
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 14:33 |
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:On that note, kickstarter backers of this project received a special, four-pronged bookmark as one of the stretch goals: That is the worst idea ever. Unless you flip to the first, or the last one, you're going to tear the bookmark.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 15:22 |
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no they will not posted:Justify this thread's existence, you little beast You can't even justify this book's existence.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 16:21 |
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no they will not posted:Justify this thread's existence, you little beast I'll do it for them! This is, in fact, a video game that can be bought on Steam. As a game played on computers, it is a perfect fit for this, the LP subforum. On a semi-relatedly note, I'm still waiting for the next update to your Peek-a-Boo LP. I understand that making updates for it is very time-consuming, but it would be nice to know how close you think you are to getting together that next set of pictures.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 17:21 |
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Look, if you don't want to tame ghost dinosaurs, I don't know what that says about you, but it can't be good.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 20:22 |
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I am so happy that Marine Biologist is part of that list of careers.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 20:26 |
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Oblivion4568238 posted:I'll do it for them! This is, in fact, a video game that can be bought on Steam. As a game played on computers, it is a perfect fit for this, the LP subforum. i said justify its existence not prove it's not violating the Let's Play subforum rules
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 20:47 |
no they will not posted:i said justify its existence not prove it's not violating the Let's Play subforum rules same reason there was a let's read of that book about Railrunner in the book barn: when it's done, only one person will have had to spend money on the stupid game to see the content
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 23:25 |
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because audience participation let's plays of CYOA books are A Thing in this subforum and this one was fresh/original enough to be worth having a look, that and the artwork is pretty coolGlazius posted:Look, if you don't want to tame ghost dinosaurs, I don't know what that says about you, but it can't be good. The narrative seems to agree on this, considering how upset it's starting to get at our choices. Case in point: quote:
Whoever this narrative claims to be, whether Ryan North or some other entity, the tone is getting rather vindictive. Should we accept this change of events or push back? Pittsburgh Lambic fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Jun 5, 2015 |
# ? Apr 22, 2015 00:20 |
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Okay, this is getting ridiculous. "You're not following the plot, so we're immediately ending this." Fiiiiine, we'll follow the plot. "You're actually following the plot? Are you sure? Are you really sure? Are you absolutely sure you want to follow the plot? How dare you follow the plot!" Make up your mind, book. Do you want us to follow the plot or not?!
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 00:27 |
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I think that's more of a "this is as much as we wrote for Claudius".
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 00:30 |
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ultrafilter posted:I think that's more of a "this is as much as we wrote for Claudius". It's almost as if he isn't the main character of the story this was based on.
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 01:03 |
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gently caress it, play as Porkchop Weebottoms.
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 03:56 |
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Play as Weebottoms
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 04:10 |
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I get the feeling ghost dad was added as an option at the end...there's not much for him. There's way WAY more content for porkchop and Ophelia.
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 12:39 |
Yeah we need to play as Porkchop now. I don't think we're gonna get any extra funsies out of ghost dad.
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 12:59 |
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Porkchop
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# ? Apr 22, 2015 16:05 |
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We're leaving the Ghost King behind! He's had his run for now, though he might just reappear later anyway.quote:
Our old friend the Yorick skull has finally re-appeared! We hadn't seen him since the character select screen, and he's... well, actually, he thinks this option is a little bit crazy, judging by the googly eyes. Decisions with Yorick skulls are always safe decisions, and advance the story in accordance with the original play. Non-Yorick decisions may advance the story along the same path, may lead us into unexpected and/or bizarre alternate storylines, or may lead us straight off a cliff. Are we going to do as Yorick suggests this time, or defy him and see what happens? Pittsburgh Lambic fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Jun 5, 2015 |
# ? Apr 23, 2015 01:53 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 09:08 |
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Well, we seem to live in a universe of terrible people. Let the sexism flow through you.
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# ? Apr 23, 2015 04:10 |