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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > How the fuck people still fall for MLMs?

a mysterious cloak: Apr 5, 2003; Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!

I worked with a nurse a while back, super loving smart, and then she went from normal human to "OMG YOU'VE GOT TO TRY THIS ORANGE CITRUS DICK SMASHER BY ADVOCARE, IT'LL TOTALLY GIVE YOU ENERGY TO CONQUER YOUR DAY!!!!!" during day to day conversation. Then got pissed when I correlated Advocare with Amway and other MLMs.

She was also smoking hot, athletic, and yet married some toothless redneck truck driver. It's an abomination.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 14:40

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 06:36

awesome-express: Dec 30, 2008

See a lot of people probably know it's all pyramid schemes but it's just another way for companies to earn $. Like, it's a scummy way of doing it, but it's a business strategy that keeps the parent company afloat and they're not really breaking any laws.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 14:48

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Smugworth posted:

So what's the deal with door to door magazine sales? I remember hearing someone say that you should offer them a phone just in case they were being held against their will or something. My roommate when I was twenty let a couple into our place and bought a couple subscriptions to Vibe or some garbage that never came in.

I remember hearing about one of these people hiring around that time and you were supposed to meet them at a Ramada Inn for the interview, and I pictured being cooped up with other drifters and high school zilchs in Ramada Inns across the country.

The magazine sales ones are the shadiest. How it works is that they tell people they'll have a job where they can travel and sell stuff but what really happens is they're bussed to some random city and set up in a crappy hotel. Their supervisor then deducts food and board from their paycheck so they only make a pittance and definitely not enough to get them back home.

Basically they do a bunch of stuff that's actually illegal but they try to fly under the radar and target people who don't know better.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 14:55

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

exquisite tea posted:

I forget the name but some guy who got pretty far up the Amway chain wrote a book exposing all their shady-rear end practices, which I believe is public domain if you look around for it. By the way MLMs will never go away or even be targeted legally in America because the top companies and Amway in particular are some of the largest single donors to the Republican Party, lmao.

Wait.. Is this true? Can you cite this?

# ? Mar 26, 2015 15:05

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

quote:

In October 1994, Amway gave the biggest corporate contribution recorded to that date to a political party for a single election � $2.5 million to the Republican National Committee � and was the number one corporate political donor in the U.S. [47] In the 2004 election cycle, the organization contributed a total of $4 million to a conservative 527 group, Progress for America. [49]

In July 1996, Amway co-founder Richard DeVos was honored at a $3 million fundraiser for the Republican Party, and a week later, it was reported that Amway had tried to donate $1.3 million to pay for Republican "infomercials" and televising of the GOP convention on Pat Robertson's Family Channel, but backed off when Democrats criticized the donation as a ploy to avoid campaign-finance restrictions. [47][50]

In April 1997 Richard DeVos and his wife, Helen, gave $1 million to the Republican National Committee, [48][50] which at the time was the second-largest soft-money donation ever, behind Amway's 1994 gift of $2.5 million to the RNC. [48] In July 1997, Senate Majority leader Trent Lott and House Speaker Newt Gingrich slipped a last-minute provision into a hotly contested compromise tax bill that granted Amway a tax break on its Asian branches, saving it $19 million.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amway#Political_causes

# ? Mar 26, 2015 15:11

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

exquisite tea posted:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amway#Political_causes

ho. lee. poo poo.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 15:20

.random: May 7, 2007

Jastiger posted:

ho. lee. poo poo.

I'm just surprised you're surprised :confused:

:confused:

The last MLM thread I remember seeing was pretty sweet. I seem to recall a story about somehow ending up in a weird house with a locked door for the hard sell to join the ~~cult~~ MLM team. Who wouldn't want to work with such go-getter innovationistas?

.random fucked around with this message at 15:42 on Mar 26, 2015

# ? Mar 26, 2015 15:39

DEEP STATE PLOT: Aug 13, 2008; Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!

exquisite tea posted:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amway#Political_causes

well yeah, mlm's bank entirely on people buying into the idealized american dream, of course they'd give a ton of money to a party that also tries to sell themselves to the idealized american dream

# ? Mar 26, 2015 15:41

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

.random posted:

I'm just surprised you're surprised

The last MLM thread I remember seeing was pretty sweet. I seem to recall a story about somehow ending up in a weird house with a locked door for the hard sell to join the ~~cult~~ MLM team. Who wouldn't want to work with such go-getter innovationistas?

It surprises me I guess because I didn't think the GOP would want to be involved with them. I mean, MLM's are universally hated and reviled by pretty much everyone, yet the GOP is all like "Hells, to the yeah, lets get you set up here, brah".

How completely scummy. Their entire business model is based on lying to people and the Republicans seem to support that. I of course am not biased in anyway, but still:)

# ? Mar 26, 2015 16:01

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Jastiger posted:

It surprises me I guess because I didn't think the GOP would want to be involved with them. I mean, MLM's are universally hated and reviled by pretty much everyone, yet the GOP is all like "Hells, to the yeah, lets get you set up here, brah".

How completely scummy. Their entire business model is based on lying to people and the Republicans seem to support that. I of course am not biased in anyway, but still:)

The GOP wants to be seen as supporting small businesses and entrepreneurs, and Amway is the most widely-accepted MLM company. Who's a smaller businessman than some idiot selling Amway door to door?

# ? Mar 26, 2015 16:10

jet sanchEz: Oct 24, 2001; Lousy Manipulative Dog

Greed trumps rationality.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 16:13

Dr. Video Games 0112: Jan 7, 2004; serious business

The brainwash works only if you think like a capitalist.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 16:41

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Thank god Dr. Video Games is here to show us a better system.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 16:52

Dead Gay Romans: Mar 19, 2015; Pitbull enthusiast

This thread is great. I'm surprised so many goons have MLM stores. I've been lucky enough to not have any friends or family get sucked into this crap I guess.

The similarities between the current GOP and pyramid schemes are hilarious. I also didn't know they gave so much money to the GOP, I kind of just assume the kind of greedy whack-job assholes who actually make money in those cults would be to greedy/stupid to give any money to politics when they could be buying their 12th BMW or some poo poo.

Of course knowing they are savvy enough to play politics isn't exactly a comforting thought...

Edit: Goon survey, which is more shady and deplorable: MLM's or Payday Loan Centers? I kind of lump those two things together in my mind sometimes. Also I know those Payday Loan places tend to be owned by/give money to GOP candidates, so there is that.

God help us all.

Dead Gay Romans fucked around with this message at 16:59 on Mar 26, 2015

# ? Mar 26, 2015 16:56

Pakistani Brad Pitt: Nov 28, 2004; Not as taciturn, but still terribly powerful...

Dead Gay Romans posted:

Edit: Goon survey, which is more shady and deplorable: MLM's or Payday Loan Centers? I kind of lump those two things together in my mind sometimes. Also I know those Payday Loan places tend to be owned by/give money to GOP candidates, so there is that.

MLMs for sure. Payday loans/Rent to Own take advantage of people, but for the most part the terms are clear up front, they are just preying on people who suck at math/are willing to trade the future for today.

MLMs not only take advantage of people financially, but also ruin those people's personal relationships via alienating friends in a cult-like otherization strategy.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 17:27

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

You can get in a new-windows-for-your house MLM and it's loving awesome because you're buying windows with a high interest installment plan and if you skip, they put a lien on your house lmfao

Koolaid swilling born-again acquaintance tried to talk me into it. "If you do this I get a $150 commission and i'll totally split it with you!"

# ? Mar 26, 2015 17:53

babypolis: Nov 4, 2009

Shadow posted:

I'll ask him next time I meet up with him.

He's a nice guy. Has an adorable daughter (like 3yo) and tbh I'm glad I met him and the big honcho dude. They're good guys.

But those loving video seminars and group think posts are loving hilarious.

But to their credit the crew that I met and became friendly with do loving destination trips to exotic places. It's a little weird that they're all like. You know. In a cult. But haha whatever I don't know where I'm going with this.

On Veema.

your friends are parasitic scum sucking the blood from the poor and you should murder them

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:02

Sojenus: Dec 28, 2008

oh gosh those wacky folks just manipulating others for monetary gain and leaving them on a treadmill of broken dreams and debt, haha they're a crazy bunch gotta love 'em!

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:06

babypolis: Nov 4, 2009

they are good folks tho. i mean yea they make a living lying and cheating impressionable people in dire financial straits, and ok they barely skirt the line between cult and business, and sure they are a byunch of morally broken vultures munching on the shriveled corpse of the american dream but they are good people you know?

babypolis fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Mar 26, 2015

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:10

Dire Chinchilla: Mar 27, 2013

exquisite tea posted:

I forget the name but some guy who got pretty far up the Amway chain wrote a book exposing all their shady-rear end practices, which I believe is public domain if you look around for it. By the way MLMs will never go away or even be targeted legally in America because the top companies and Amway in particular are some of the largest single donors to the Republican Party, lmao.

The book is called "Merchants of Deception" and is indeed public domain:
http://www.transgallaxys.com/~emerald/files/MerchantsOfDeception.pdf

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:13

Dead Gay Romans: Mar 19, 2015; Pitbull enthusiast

babypolis posted:

they are good folks tho. sure they make a living lying and cheating impressionable people in dire financial straits, and sure they barely skirt the line between cult and business, and sure they are a byunch of morally broken vultures munching on the shriveled corpse of the american dream but they are good people you know?

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:14

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Shadow posted:

He's a nice guy. Has an adorable daughter (like 3yo) and tbh I'm glad I met him and the big honcho dude. They're good guys.

He's a bad person, and so are the rest of them.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:18

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

GOP would support me as a small business?

*incorporates self as a MLM*

*sells specialized roses from his backyard*

*is now a Republican Business owner*

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:36

raditts: Feb 21, 2001; The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Smugworth posted:

So what's the deal with door to door magazine sales? I remember hearing someone say that you should offer them a phone just in case they were being held against their will or something. My roommate when I was twenty let a couple into our place and bought a couple subscriptions to Vibe or some garbage that never came in.

Do they still do those things? I remember when I moved into my first apartment like ~15 years ago there was some high school age girl that came by selling magazines. I didn't have any money so she offered to go to the ATM with me, and I wondered if she had been taught that recipe for being murdered or if she came up with it all on her own.

Later on I learned about the whole creepy thing where kids would sign up for a summer job that wound up being "getting dropped off in a strange neighborhood to sell magazines or encyclopedias or whatever."

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:47

.random: May 7, 2007

Dead Gay Romans posted:

Edit: Goon survey, which is more shady and deplorable: MLM's or Payday Loan Centers? I kind of lump those two things together in my mind sometimes. Also I know those Payday Loan places tend to be owned by/give money to GOP candidates, so there is that.

I could see two valid arguments:
Targeting:

Payday loans target the desperate and needy who feel like they have no alternative.
MLMs typically require an appeal to some level of vanity and greed, so it's a bit harder to feel bad for the victims.

Winner, Shady & Deplorable Victim Targeting Tactics: Payday loans

Ultimate goal:

Payday loans want to rob you blind.
MLMs want to rob you blind, then destroy you and all that you love - and then make you feel bad when you inevitably crumble.

Winner, Shady & Deplorable End Game: MLMs

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:48

Weener Beater: May 4, 2010

Hingehead posted:

A few years ago a few students from college recommended to me that I'd check out this MLM knife product seminar, I agreed to check it out because according to my acquaintance, she was making good money so it doesn't hurt to at least check the place out. At first everything seems legitimate , decent office, good location, knives products that seems reasonably top notch. But then they started asking me to put a down payment in order to get the job, I didn't feel right about it, but decided to take a chance anyway. I would start my first training in a few days.

A few days came, but not with a devastating snowstorm that paralyzed all of New York City and public transportation. I instead on making it to the training anyway, but I called up the boss person to confirm whether if he was coming to work or not. He never answered the phone nor ever called me back nor was there any ways to leave a message to him. I called many times anyway and still insisted on somehow getting to Brooklyn from Staten Island by sheer luck of hustling for a ride. I trekked through the streets for over an hour to get to the place only for nobody to show up at all. I called it a quit because this rear end in a top hat do not have the courtesy to answer my phone call , what kind of boss are you to not maintain communications with your employees?

Months later I passed by the place again and of course it shut down.

The other MLM story occurred a year and a half ago. My friend has lost his mother, I went to stop by to offer comfort to him while his pussy rear end sleazy as gently caress high school friend was there with us. The douche straight up tells me he wants to help me live my life to the fullest by offering me a chance to get involved in world adventure 's "You should be here" extravagant vacation trips for a cheap price of a $500 one time down payment and year annually payment of $50 and a BMW that you dont own, as long you get 20 people or more to refer to! Right away I knew it was bullshit and i wasn't interested in going on vacation to hotel spots with group of people and with limited freedoms. I politely declined until time and time and time again he insisted that he must help me enjoy my life.

I have been on vacations four times in the past four years, my recent trip was a month long road trip travel from British Columbia, Canada to Arizona. This fucker still haven't traveled yet and still on facebook to this day like a schmuck, posting "you should be here" & inspirational craps every ten minutes every day.

This is the Rovia MLM my in-laws are running

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:51

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Jastiger posted:

GOP would support me as a small business?

*incorporates self as a MLM*

*sells specialized roses from his backyard*

*is now a Republican Business owner*

Now imagine the government came and shut you down because you aren't paying your carbon tax to the EPA. That's Obama's America.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:58

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

FactsAreUseless posted:

Now imagine the government came and shut you down because you aren't paying your carbon tax to the EPA. That's Obama's America.

*releases political ad for 2016 GOP hopefuls detailing how my business of exploiting poor people failed thanks to Obama*

*my support wins the GOP the election*

# ? Mar 26, 2015 19:06

raditts: Feb 21, 2001; The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Nostalgia4Dicks posted:

http://youtu.be/a231RLKyfPw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jmNc-cpx5o

# ? Mar 26, 2015 19:10

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Jastiger posted:

GOP would support me as a small business?

*incorporates self as a MLM*

*sells specialized roses from his backyard*

*is now a Republican Business owner*

I want to go to a "Progressive Conservative" :canada:

:canada:

rally and, during a pause, scream I'M A SMALL BUSINESS OWNER! as loud as I can. When I get applause from all around me, I start pulling out my custom dildos that I sell online...

# ? Mar 26, 2015 19:58

HEY VAPER: May 15, 2014; by XyloJW

humans rose to dominance of the planet by being dumb as hell and outfucking our Neanderthal competitors and occasionally loving them when we couldn't smash their heads in with rocks. MLM works the same way.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:08

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

HEY VAPER posted:

humans rose to dominance of the planet by being dumb as hell and outfucking our Neanderthal competitors and occasionally loving them when we couldn't smash their heads in with rocks. MLM works the same way.

I don't think most MLM schemes ask you to gently caress your friends and family and then smash their heads in with rocks.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:11

HEY VAPER: May 15, 2014; by XyloJW

FactsAreUseless posted:

I don't think most MLM schemes ask you to gently caress your friends and family and then smash their heads in with rocks.

actually that's a pretty accurate description of MLM, if you've ever had someone in your family get sucked into MLM poo poo.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:14

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

FactsAreUseless posted:

I don't think most MLM schemes ask you to gently caress your friends and family and then smash their heads in with rocks.

You mustn't have been far enough up the chain to make those meetings, then.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:14

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

exquisite tea posted:

You mustn't have been far enough up the chain to make those meetings, then.

As a Scientologist, I'm not allowed to participate in things like that.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:21

JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

Professor Shark posted:

I want to go to a "Progressive Conservative" rally and, during a pause, scream I'M A SMALL BUSINESS OWNER! as loud as I can. When I get applause from all around me, I start pulling out my custom dildos that I sell online...

Bonus points if you start "pulling them out" of various bodily orifices.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:41

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Jastiger posted:

It surprises me I guess because I didn't think the GOP would want to be involved with them. I mean, MLM's are universally hated and reviled by pretty much everyone

lol

GOP: "We support business and industry in America and if you're trying to slander this great company that provides thousands of jobs you're clearly a socialist rat."

Payday loans are starting to get pretty loving disgusting though, they're loving everywhere and yeah the terms are upfront but they take advantage of people that often have very little choice, and then they get locked into a cycle of getting another payday loan to pay off the first one (because they live paycheck to paycheck obviously) and yeah the last thing the USA needs is another leech sucking money away from the people who are supposed to be driving the economy with consumer spending. BUT as was mentioned a bunch of politicians either own or somehow receive money from many payday loan places so lol lol lol.

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Mar 26, 2015

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:50

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

I have a facebook friend that's big into Nerium. Everything about it is "Happy Happy!", the more she posts about being happy, happy, I have a feeling she's dying a bit inside...at least I am for her and I don't even know her that well, just some girl I knew back in high school.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:52

Dick Fagballzson: Sep 29, 2005

.random posted:

I could see two valid arguments:
Targeting:

Payday loans target the desperate and needy who feel like they have no alternative.

MLMs typically require an appeal to some level of vanity and greed, so it's a bit harder to feel bad for the victims.

Winner, Shady & Deplorable Victim Targeting Tactics: Payday loans

Ultimate goal:

Payday loans want to rob you blind.

MLMs want to rob you blind, then destroy you and all that you love - and then make you feel bad when you inevitably crumble.

Winner, Shady & Deplorable End Game: MLMs

Thankfully payday loans have been banned in some states. Those payday loan places are only one step removed from going to a mob loan shark. I'm not aware of anything similar happening with MLM scams. I think what makes banning MLM scams tough is that unlike traditional pyramid scams, there's actually a product. It's usually a lovely product no one wants to buy. But it's there.

Dick Fagballzson fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Mar 26, 2015

# ? Mar 26, 2015 21:02

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 06:36

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Mad Monk posted:

I have a facebook friend that's big into Nerium. Everything about it is "Happy Happy!", the more she posts about being happy, happy, I have a feeling she's dying a bit inside...at least I am for her and I don't even know her that well, just some girl I knew back in high school.

http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Happy_Happyism

# ? Mar 26, 2015 21:24

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