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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
B-Rock "Islamic Shock" Obama has just reinstated the draft to invade Iran and/or Russia!


Goons! WHAT DO YOU DO!? Pick up arms and go fight for hearth and home? Run away to Canada? Feign illness to get out of it? Retreat to your dungeon bunker and post with nary a rifle in sight?

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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
My life for Aiur.

root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

I would go become an analyst. not die, and retire with a sicker pension

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
enlist in the air force :twisted:

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

i hope i get to be a drone pilot

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
i want to be caro

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Parallax Scroll posted:

i hope i get to be a drone pilot

MOBILE INFANTRY FOR YOU, PARALLAX SCROLL.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
I'm gonna go back to college

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle
well since just saying im gay doesnt cut it any more i guess ill have to suck the first cock i see at the draft place

root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

The Mad Archivist posted:

enlist in the air force :twisted:

chair force heh

Samuel L. ACKSYN
Feb 29, 2008


shiksa posted:

well since just saying im gay doesnt cut it any more i guess ill have to suck the first cock i see at the draft place


i'll be super gay

like sooo gay even gay dudes be like "drat that dude gayyy"

root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

Thats cool. I actually would suck a cock or 5 in public to avoid military service.

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

Jastiger posted:

MOBILE INFANTRY FOR YOU, PARALLAX SCROLL.

fine then, i would like to request red dot sight and dual mags

Fergus Mac Roich
Nov 5, 2008

Soiled Meat
do i start with all the perks unlocked or

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth
I would frag the OP in Basic.

Danger - Octopus!
Apr 20, 2008


Nap Ghost
I'm British so we're all going to wait for your able-bodied men to take up arms and go to somewhere foreign then we're going to invade and teach you rebellious colonists a lesson.

Unfortunately, all the able-bodied men going to war will still leave behind millions of fat goony shut-ins who are all unaccountably armed to the teeth, and the invasion will fail.

West SAAB Story
Mar 13, 2014

by Athanatos

(and can't post for 288 days!)

I'll be the one cranking smooth jazz set to sting songs while killing people, OP.

A CISHET SHITLORD
Sep 10, 2014

LOURDE OF THE SHITS
Pillbug
THANKS, OBAMA

EngineerSean
Feb 9, 2004

by zen death robot

Danger - Octopus! posted:

I'm British so we're all going to wait for your able-bodied men to take up arms and go to somewhere foreign then we're going to invade and teach you rebellious colonists a lesson.

Unfortunately, all the able-bodied men going to war will still leave behind millions of fat goony shut-ins who are all unaccountably armed to the teeth, and the invasion will fail.

war is hell

A CISHET SHITLORD
Sep 10, 2014

LOURDE OF THE SHITS
Pillbug
I'll drive a tank. I don't even give no fucks

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

IRR for another 3 years


welp

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

KILL AND DIE FOR MY COUNTRY OP, YOU?

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Danger - Octopus! posted:

I'm British so we're all going to wait for your able-bodied men to take up arms and go to somewhere foreign then we're going to invade and teach you rebellious colonists a lesson.

Unfortunately, all the able-bodied men going to war will still leave behind millions of fat goony shut-ins who are all unaccountably armed to the teeth, and the invasion will fail.

ooh yeah real scared of the "empire" that had a long drawn-out military encounter over the falkland islands.

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope
I'm too old so I'd just laugh and laugh and laugh

JB50
Feb 13, 2008

LOL if you think many goons could pass the physical. Not to mention the psyche eval.

Just LOL.

Deki
May 12, 2008

It's Hammer Time!
I'm all aboard as long as we can loot Putin's Pleasure Palaces.

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
I'm too old to be drafted.
Die for my hedonistic lifestyle, sperglings!

EngineerSean
Feb 9, 2004

by zen death robot

LeoMarr posted:

IRR for another 3 years


welp

seriously lol if you show up to anything having to do with the IRR, just move and never inform them and bam, your commitment is over

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Mr. Pumroy posted:

KILL AND DIE FOR MY COUNTRY OP, YOU?

*is already in Canada on the shores of The Great Bear Lake*

West SAAB Story
Mar 13, 2014

by Athanatos

(and can't post for 288 days!)

JB50 posted:

LOL if you think many goons could pass the physical. Not to mention the psyche eval.

AKA Pseudonym posted:

I'm too old so I'd just laugh and laugh and laugh

..sometimes I forget how old I am. I'd still offer to kill others, though. Wait, they have to be the enemy? gently caress THAT.

Dead Gay Romans
Mar 19, 2015

Pitbull enthusiast
Iran/or Russia? That's a pretty big difference.

Russia, well I'm just gonna hide out somewhere with a lot of booze and drugs and wait for the nuclear apocalypse that is likely to come before they sort out i'm draft dodging.

Iran, guess i'll go, as long as I'm not the Marines I'll probably get some cushy FOB position due to being older and come home with some cool stories and poo poo.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

JB50 posted:

LOL if you think many goons could pass the physical. Not to mention the psyche eval.

Just LOL.

Just ask the guy at the draft office if he has stairs in his house.

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

JB50 posted:

LOL if you think many goons could pass the physical. Not to mention the psyche eval.

Just LOL.

you don't need to be fit to take a bullet that could have hit a better soldier.

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot
wait how old is too old to get drafted?

West SAAB Story
Mar 13, 2014

by Athanatos

(and can't post for 288 days!)

The Mad Archivist posted:

wait how old is too old to get drafted?

You still own cassettes and a VCR.. and probably an Oldsmobile.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer

The Mad Archivist posted:

wait how old is too old to get drafted?
26. Suck it all you young idiots! Go die for dubious reasons in a foreign hellhole!

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
I'd join the subs OP. Cthulu r'lyeh f'taghn! I want to be eaten and/or atomized at crunch depth first.

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

100 HOGS AGREE posted:

26. Suck it all you young idiots! Go die for dubious reasons in a foreign hellhole!

haha, oh okay, in that case suck it yall. someone else die for me. hahahaha.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
This is great. SA is full of old fucks now, we can post in peace in our dead forum while the young assholes get sent off to die for real

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a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

can i be a general

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