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Myron Baloney
Mar 19, 2002

Emitting dimensions are swallowing you
when I was 12 I had a paper route in the morning and I was a trap-boy in the evening - I sat in a little concrete bunker and loaded the clay pigeons one by one onto the flingy machine for fat drunk dudes to shoot at. When I went to Empire Strikes Back with my friends I remember paying for all of us because they were even poorer than me.

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bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Professor Tomtom posted:

Dick sucking factory

op asked about your first job not your career

Antifa Spacemarine
Jan 11, 2011

Tzeentch can suck it.
I haven't ever really worked, I have a trust fund that keeps me happy. I guess sometimes my parents made me check in to see if the laundry was done. That's kind of like work.

lorn Wayne
Jan 7, 2006

:staredog::meowth::pipe:
lmao if you're part of the rat race as an employee.

i worked hard and pulled myself up with nothing but my bootstraps, a little elbow grease and a few mil in the family trust fund and i'm raking it in. here's me:

Darf
Jun 6, 2011

You have quite a treasure there...
Not the first but the WORST job I ever had was as a tax preparerer.

some angry people who thought they were getting thousands back and then you tell them they actually OWE this year, whooooo

And then you charge them $300

lmao

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑


Working for an NHL team on their web site, doing social media before it was called social media. Man the 90s were loving great

Sax Mortar
Aug 24, 2004
commercial for floor tiles. I was 9 months old and got paid with a balloon.

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona
I was a lifeguard and i showed up high every day and it is a small miracle that no children suffered a watery death due to my incompetence.

Laughing Man
Feb 11, 2008
I thought what I’d do was pretend I was one of those deaf mutes, or something...
A pool store, where I told people how much of what chemical to add to their very expensive pools. I had a pool at home but dad always took care of it, I was going off of some formula sheet.

One time someone told me the size of his pool and vastly underestimated the size and I basically made his pool an acid bath with the "correct" amount of chemicals (he came back to complain and didn't recognize me, I told him that guy quit on his lunch break and he just left ha). I quit when my cool as no fucks given manager was fired for keeping his motorcycle in the back of the store next to all the chemicals which should never be on fire either especially near gasoline.

Since the job was balls easy without some retard trying to talk to a teenager about boosting productivity or procedure it was pretty great.

nastynaven
Mar 27, 2015

by Ralp
busboy.

RonMexicosPitbull
Feb 28, 2012

by Ralp
I scooped ice cream in a rich, famous people plaza it owned. Jerry Seinfeld came in like once a month.

EvilJoven
Mar 18, 2005

NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?
Fun Shoe
I was a paperboy back when it was a literal child delivering papers to pay for video games or something and not being done by some super sad looking family with like ten thousand newspapers loaded in to the back of a rusted to poo poo 15 year old minivan.

unlimited shrimp
Aug 30, 2008
General gopher at a chemical bottling plant. Motor oil, antifreeze, etc. Any given day I'd be stacking boxes on pallets, filling barrels of ethanol, or doing cleaning.

Cleaning was fun because they'd make me crawl under giant tanks that leaked a blue goop that I had to sop up with heavy clothss. Also under those tanks were exposed flywheels so I risked being dismembered whenever I was down there. I quit after two weeks when I started making GBS threads blood.

:canada:

Bacontotem
May 27, 2010



Donut runner for a home depot mexican landscape company

the bitcoin of weed
Nov 1, 2014

washes dishes at some greasy cafe for minimum wage
I also got shared tips from the wait staff so on busy days I'd just get 50 dollars cash in pocket, it kind of ruled actually

spacemang_spliff
Nov 29, 2014

wide pickle
hand.

from you're mother

milkingmycow
Mar 28, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Shoveling poo poo on a farm run by a couple who argued all the time.

Party In My Diapee
Jan 24, 2014
Leader of the communist revolution. You're welcome.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

lorn Wayne posted:

lmao if you're part of the rat race as an employee.

i worked hard and pulled myself up with nothing but my bootstraps, a little elbow grease and a few mil in the family trust fund and i'm raking it in. here's me:



uh huh standing outside the passenger-side door

i'm sure you're not some passerby taking a selfie in fron t of a nice car

im on to you boy

that nig hive mind
Mar 16, 2014

by Ralp
s

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 14 hours!
^^^^^^^^^^^lol

Terry Francona
Jan 20, 2004

by Cowcaster
cool doxx bro

DAD LOST MY IPOD
Feb 3, 2012

Fats Dominar is on the case


washing a succession of enormous hog-men with a sponge on a stick while they wailed and thrashed for hours at a time in an unlit warehouse

yoyodyne
May 7, 2007
Partner at my Dad's hedge fund.

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen

Waiter to a Greek restaurant

Didn't matter what age you were everyone got loving hammered on the weekends

Action-Bastard
Jan 1, 2008

Paper shredder, 9-5 Monday through Friday just fed boxes and boxes of paper through an industrial shredder. I was 15 and I don't think you're supposed to work 40 hours a week at that age but gently caress it. After two months I had 1200 in the bank which is way too much for any teen.

Blew it all on junk food and video games and other dumb kid poo poo of course.

big sexy
Apr 7, 2015

by XyloJW
:iamafag:

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gargoylecheesehorn
Apr 7, 2015

by Ralp
:iamafag:

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