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Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

:siren:Mod edit: Ask all of your questions about law enforcement here. This is a "safe space" where anyone can post but if you're poo poo posting/concern trolling don't be surprised if something bad happens to your account!:siren:

:siren:Don't trust the authorities this is probably a trap:siren:

EDIT: :siren: EVERY POST AFTER 4/5/2015 MUST HAVE A TOM OF FINLAND PHOTO ATTATCHED :siren:

Let's get this out of the way up front: gently caress this thread. gently caress you for posting in it.

So you just finished reading Zinn for the first time or that hot chick in your freshman polysci class dragged you to a rally or whatever, or maybe you're some sort of uniform worshipping badge bunny with a leather fetish and you've wandered into GiP to troll or you're here to mistakenly hero worship a bunch of semi-functional sociopaths who may or may not be actual cops. One of the supposed gooncops is a Brit who volunteers to do this poo poo for free on his own time. You're asking that guy questions.

Perhaps you are actually seeking useful information in which case I would like to point out you are in a subforum of a comedy website that grew out of a Quake fan board or something. I don't know.

Policing and law enforcement in America is incredibly diverse. Federal, Local, State, weirdo regulatory agencies nobody ever heard of. One cop might belong to a 30,000 member force with a paid academy. One cop might be part of a 20 member force where the officer had to pay for his own certification. Some wierdo might have been elected to the office of sheriff and have no qualifications whatsoever. Whatever answer you do get will probably have no bearing on your actual question.

The United States is a horribly balkanized hodgepodge of overlapping laws and jursidictions that grew out of the horrific genocide and conquest of the native peoples. What is a crime in New York is legal in Ohio. Assault in New York is battery somewhere else. Punching someone in the face isn't even an arrestable crime in many jurisdictions.

Being a deep sea fisherman is more dangerous than being a cop. We know.

whatever

gently caress it

ask questions I guess

:effort:

Smiling Jack fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Apr 4, 2015

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Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Here is a link to the Mad Max: Fury Road trailer because that poo poo looks awesome

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEJnMQG9ev8

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

This is a picture from the 1960s of a cop mowing down hippies with a fully automatic weapon


note the cross draw holster with exposed trigger, AR-15 fired from the hip without aiming and general look of hate on the face of Deputy Tubbington

i left the watermark in from the site I stole it from

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Here is a wiki article about the ~%20 of the Danish Police force who were sent to concentration camps by the Nazis because gently caress Nazis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deportation_of_the_Danish_police

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av
What was is specifically about subjugating minorities and poors that attracted you to law enforcement?




Follow up question, fffffffffffffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrt

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

This was a good movie about the Danish Resistance, it's on Netflix last I checked (I last checked 2 years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJnfNAEwQ8U

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

This is Sid Hatfield. He was a cop in a mining town. Management sent in some Private Military Contractors to evict people and Sid dropped those assholes like a bad habit.



He was later gunned down while unarmed on the steps of a courthouse.

Since politics in this country is so hosed up, this gun toting pro union all american hero :911: is not listed on the odmp page.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Also if you want to abolish police unions, gently caress you, I consider you either a total idiot

hundreds of years of racisim and classism will not be solved by destroying the rights of the workers

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Also everyone bitches about the cops and ignores the real problem with the justice system: DA's are complete hacks

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/man-held-2-years-rikers-island-no-charges-article-1.2158825

Branis
Apr 14, 2006

by VG
When the revolution comes, which side will the cops be on?

Also ITT ask me about how police oppress people in majority white rural communities.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Are DAs basic bitches?

ssb
Feb 16, 2006

WOULD YOU ACCOMPANY ME ON A BRISK WALK? I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU!!


I see the new thread is off to a nice angry start!

Untagged
Mar 29, 2004

Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?
DAs are the worst. Summarily deciding what charges to go forward on, drop, negotiate, etc. I've been assaulted twice in the past year and both are not officially documented in THE D&D STATS because they let the guys take lesser offense plea deals because HEY TRIALS ARE HARD OR SOMETHING.

Or my recent favorite... "Oh hey we know it's this guys third DUI but me and his lawyer are buddies so we let him plead to basic reckless driving"... five minutes later to the press... "Oh why won't someone think of the children! We should punish DUI drivers with tougher laws and penalties!"

Branis
Apr 14, 2006

by VG
our stupid justice system is the biggest good ol boys club in America.

Behemuff
Sep 23, 2010

but the eyes - never!
Yo Britcops!
I have my assessment centre tomorrow and bricking it haha. Any last minute pro tips?

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009
this is my fav new thread of our little clubhouse :3:

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING
I knew you could do it :kimchi:

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by prescription drugs,
starving hysterical naked,
instagramming themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking
for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of banality,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking
in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating
across the tops of cities contemplating student loan payments,
who bared their brains to yik yak on the G train and saw
unpaid interns staggering on tenement roofs
illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating Start ups and technologicat tragedy among the
scholars of finance,

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

Beltfed posted:

Yo Britcops!
I have my assessment centre tomorrow and bricking it haha. Any last minute pro tips?

Are you mentally retarded?

Do you have 'smash niggers' tattooed on your forehead?

Are you missing a limb or have a triple digit BMI?

If you answered no to all of the above, then you'll probably make Inspector.



Seriously though, none of it is tough, depending on what force you are going for:

Take your time answering questions on paper and in the interview
Act in an assertive and confident manner but not aggressive or impulsive in the role play
If your arithmetic is poo poo answer the questions you are sure about and leave the rest till last
The written exam may very well take the form of writing a statement, check your grammar, spelling, syntax and for bonus points Day, Date, Time, Place, When, Where, Who, How, Why and for the love of god make sure it makes sense. The devil is in the detail, a statement that reads like a Dr Seuss story will probably get you failed.

If it's the MET you are joining, for fucks sake check the list of things you need to bring *especially* the photo ID and passport photos, they will literally turn you away at the gate of Empress house without them and that's one of your two applications down the drain.

Dress smart, polish your shoes, cut your finger nails, keep your hair neat and try to sound like a really clean living person in the interview. Also during the piss test stare the adjudicating officer right in the eye as you piss and even though they say only fill the cup up half way, top it off so he get's a bit on his wrist as he tries to pour it in to the test tube.

edit: Can't hurt your chances to put your sexuality down as 'Homosexual' it may or may not help with meeting positive discrimination criteria. I'm not saying lie, but if you've ever got a lobb on watching Conan the Barbarian, then why not.

Bernard McFacknutah fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Apr 1, 2015

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

I honestly don't know if Bernard is a brilliant performance art price or if he's completely sincere

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av
Bernard is actually a 14yo Korean girl who's been catfishing us the whole time

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

beanieson posted:

Bernard is actually a 14yo Korean girl who's been catfishing us the whole time

I'm a wheelchair bound sex offender posting from inside a prison.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Bernard McFacknutah posted:

I'm a wheelchair bound sex offender posting from inside a prison.

ugh, they treat prisoners better than our troops this is loving dumb

The Shep
Jan 10, 2007


If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.
After 5 years you burn out on this job but realize you're literally not qualified to do any other job except Walmart greeter so you stay here for another 15 years being miserable until you retire and die a few years later due to liver cirrhosis or heart failure because of years of McDonald's and sedentary living.

Living the dream.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

Living the dream.

:smith:

Tyro
Nov 10, 2009

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

After 5 years you burn out on this job but realize you're literally not qualified to do any other job except Walmart greeter so you stay here for another 15 years being miserable until you retire and die a few years later due to liver cirrhosis or heart failure because of years of McDonald's and sedentary living.

Living the dream.

Or you do what I did at the 5 year mark - quit, go to grad school, have a blast, work in the private sector for a bit.

Then I hosed up and decided I missed it and came back.

At least I'm not in uniform any more.

Behemuff
Sep 23, 2010

but the eyes - never!


Cheers for the advice mate, I'm looking forward to it mostly, just all this competency assessing poo poo is a pain in the arse! Hard to remember all the areas when you're nervous :)

Not Met haha, Wilts police!

Branis
Apr 14, 2006

by VG

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

After 5 years you burn out on this job but realize you're literally not qualified to do any other job except Walmart greeter so you stay here for another 15 years being miserable until you retire and die a few years later due to liver cirrhosis or heart failure because of years of McDonald's and sedentary living.

Living the dream.

make this the OP

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
If a bitty beat me up with these, would it be considered assault or aggravated assault?

:nws: http://i.imgur.com/QxvNqdS.jpg :nws:

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Booblord Zagats posted:

If a bitty beat me up with these, would it be considered assault or aggravated assault?

:nws: http://i.imgur.com/QxvNqdS.jpg :nws:

Sexual assault

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Booblord Zagats posted:

If a bitty beat me up with these, would it be considered assault or aggravated assault?

:nws: http://i.imgur.com/QxvNqdS.jpg :nws:

:stare::fh:

It's only a crime if you complain to somebody.

DrakeriderCa
Feb 3, 2005

But I'm a real cowboy!

shortspecialbus posted:

I see the new thread is off to a nice angry start!

cops are basically soldiers but with two years more schooling and no deployments to get the killing out of their system so they roam the streets looking for action and grow more jaded by the year until they inevitably drink themselves to death or days after retirement their body collapses under the weight of years of unchecked hatred suddenly borne without the sweet release of giving hippies the hickory shampoo

Untagged
Mar 29, 2004

Hey, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?

Tyro posted:

Or you do what I did at the 5 year mark - quit, go to grad school, have a blast, work in the private sector for a bit.

Then I hosed up and decided I missed it and came back.

At least I'm not in uniform any more.

I hope you didn't end up at your old department.

PM me some time bro.

Hezzy
Dec 4, 2004

Pillbug

Beltfed posted:

Yo Britcops!
I have my assessment centre tomorrow and bricking it haha. Any last minute pro tips?

Head over to the examiner, cluck like a chicken three times, pat your right breast and then offer your hand up. It's the super secret mason handshake and you instantly will be promoted to SuperNintendo

Good luck!

for real though there aren't really any last minute tips to give, it's all about preparation and who you are as a person as cheesey as that sounds

Hezzy fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Apr 2, 2015

The Shep
Jan 10, 2007


If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.
Serious discussion: Has active shooter and rapid deployment training changed the outcome of any mass-shootings since Columbine?

I think this is tough to answer, it's almost like answering "how many crimes did the police prevent by patrolling yesterday". Many mass shooters self-terminate, so in examples like the NIU and Virginia Tech shooting, I think it's arguable that at least some lives were saved by a swift police response.

There are still D&D posters arguing for the disarming of American police and to hell with the consequences that might bring.

Dead Reckoning posted:

So officers would be allowed to keep and bear arms as private citizens, but not while on duty? Do you think that officers having less capacity for force than the people they are supposed to police might be a problem? If faced with a school shooter or armed robber, would officers need to wait for the firearms unit, even though rapid action can often save lives?

twodot posted:

These are so easy to answer I figured they were rhetorical, but if you really want them:
Yes. No. Yes.

I really don't know where to start.

The Shep fucked around with this message at 11:19 on Apr 2, 2015

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

Serious discussion: Has active shooter and rapid deployment training changed the outcome of any mass-shootings since Columbine?

My department put out a 4 page memo on active shooters last year.

What's training? I think I have heard of this mythical beast.

The Shep
Jan 10, 2007


If found, please return this poster to GIP. His mothers are very worried and miss him very much.
You guys have never done ANY active shooter drills or training? :psyduck:

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

You guys have never done ANY active shooter drills or training? :psyduck:

Less than 2% of the department at my estimation. Every supervisor saw a 3 hour PowerPoint on the psychology of the active shooter though! :downs:

People are signing up to take state courses on their own time. It's that bad.

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Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009
didnt nyc do a mumbai type training scenario and came to the conclusion that first responders to that kind of attack were totally hosed?

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