Ask a Cop - All Cops Are Beannieson - The Something Awful Forums

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Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Mod edit: Ask all of your questions about law enforcement here. This is a "safe space" where anyone can post but if you're poo poo posting/concern trolling don't be surprised if something bad happens to your account! :siren:

Don't trust the authorities this is probably a trap :siren:

EDIT: EVERY POST AFTER 4/5/2015 MUST HAVE A TOM OF FINLAND PHOTO ATTATCHED :siren:

Let's get this out of the way up front: gently caress this thread. gently caress you for posting in it.

So you just finished reading Zinn for the first time or that hot chick in your freshman polysci class dragged you to a rally or whatever, or maybe you're some sort of uniform worshipping badge bunny with a leather fetish and you've wandered into GiP to troll or you're here to mistakenly hero worship a bunch of semi-functional sociopaths who may or may not be actual cops. One of the supposed gooncops is a Brit who volunteers to do this poo poo for free on his own time. You're asking that guy questions.

Perhaps you are actually seeking useful information in which case I would like to point out you are in a subforum of a comedy website that grew out of a Quake fan board or something. I don't know.

Policing and law enforcement in America is incredibly diverse. Federal, Local, State, weirdo regulatory agencies nobody ever heard of. One cop might belong to a 30,000 member force with a paid academy. One cop might be part of a 20 member force where the officer had to pay for his own certification. Some wierdo might have been elected to the office of sheriff and have no qualifications whatsoever. Whatever answer you do get will probably have no bearing on your actual question.

The United States is a horribly balkanized hodgepodge of overlapping laws and jursidictions that grew out of the horrific genocide and conquest of the native peoples. What is a crime in New York is legal in Ohio. Assault in New York is battery somewhere else. Punching someone in the face isn't even an arrestable crime in many jurisdictions.

Being a deep sea fisherman is more dangerous than being a cop. We know.

whatever

gently caress it

ask questions I guess

:effort:

Smiling Jack fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Apr 4, 2015

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:02

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:30

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Here is a link to the Mad Max: Fury Road trailer because that poo poo looks awesome

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEJnMQG9ev8

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:19

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

This is a picture from the 1960s of a cop mowing down hippies with a fully automatic weapon

note the cross draw holster with exposed trigger, AR-15 fired from the hip without aiming and general look of hate on the face of Deputy Tubbington

i left the watermark in from the site I stole it from

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:21

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Here is a wiki article about the ~%20 of the Danish Police force who were sent to concentration camps by the Nazis because gently caress Nazis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deportation_of_the_Danish_police

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:23

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

This was a good movie about the Danish Resistance, it's on Netflix last I checked (I last checked 2 years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJnfNAEwQ8U

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:24

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:25

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

This is Sid Hatfield. He was a cop in a mining town. Management sent in some Private Military Contractors to evict people and Sid dropped those assholes like a bad habit.

He was later gunned down while unarmed on the steps of a courthouse.

Since politics in this country is so hosed up, this gun toting pro union all american hero :911:

is not listed on the odmp page.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:26

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Also if you want to abolish police unions, gently caress you, I consider you either a total idiot

hundreds of years of racisim and classism will not be solved by destroying the rights of the workers

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:28

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Also everyone bitches about the cops and ignores the real problem with the justice system: DA's are complete hacks

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/man-held-2-years-rikers-island-no-charges-article-1.2158825

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 15:29

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by prescription drugs,
starving hysterical naked,
instagramming themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking
for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of banality,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking
in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating
across the tops of cities contemplating student loan payments,
who bared their brains to yik yak on the G train and saw
unpaid interns staggering on tenement roofs
illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating Start ups and technologicat tragedy among the
scholars of finance,

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 20:32

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

I honestly don't know if Bernard is a brilliant performance art price or if he's completely sincere

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 20:55

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

Serious discussion: Has active shooter and rapid deployment training changed the outcome of any mass-shootings since Columbine?

My department put out a 4 page memo on active shooters last year.

What's training? I think I have heard of this mythical beast.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2015 12:21

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

You guys have never done ANY active shooter drills or training?

Less than 2% of the department at my estimation. Every supervisor saw a 3 hour PowerPoint on the psychology of the active shooter though! :downs:

People are signing up to take state courses on their own time. It's that bad.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2015 13:13

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

I didn't post that poo poo, I posted "gently caress you"

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 02:16

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Out of over a thousand arrests I have made or or participated in, I have testified in front of a criminal trial jury three times.

I have been to maybe thirty hearings with a judge where I have been cross-examined by opposing counsel.

Of the court cases I did testify in, each trial was at least a year after the arrest; one was three years after the arrest.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 16:41

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cole posted:

isn't this why a bunch of people will elect to go to court? just in hopes that the officer won't show?

a question about speeding tickets (or really any ticket that will get you points on your license). a guy posted a thread in AI a while back talking about how he has gotten out of a bunch of speeding tickets. he still pays a fine, but the points get dropped. he basically requests a court date and i guess strikes a plea that he will pay the fine and not waste time with court if they will just keep points off his license. this might be something i made up when really stoned, but it was something.

any truth to that? i guess you don't have to answer but if you don't answer we are gonna know anyway. like "do you have aids?" "i'm not gonna answer that." p. sure you got aids.

This question is extremely location and jurisdiction dependent.

I've written 5 traffic tickets my entire career, having never been in units that either allowed traffic tickets (foot patrol yay) or expected them (plainclothes).

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 19:34

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Alastor_the_Stylish posted:

Should there be training for the situation where a person does have indeed have a knife, but in addition may be some combination of the following: fifty feet away, mentally ill, a small child, an elderly person, whittling crafts with the knife, deaf and with their back turned, Sikh, pregnant, in a wheelchair, etc...?

Yeah, it's called "don't shoot anyone who is not actually about to stab you or anyone else".

Our local bloodthirsty ex military Finn (or whatever) advocates immediately blasting these people in the leg for some reason.

There's no magic method for getting an armed person to drop a lethal weapon, especially if they're roaming around. Your best hope is that you can keep the idiots away from the disturbed armed person long enough for someone to show up with a shield and a taser or beanbag gun, and even those don't work all that well.

Of course if the guy is alone in his house or apartment or whatever, lock his rear end in and wait for the negotiator to show up.

If the subject is armed, mobile and/or in a location with other people (moms house, etc) and they are acting irrationally, the situation has the potential to go very badly very quickly.

I eagerly await your anecdote about cops shooting someone with a knife in dubious circumstances.

Smiling Jack fucked around with this message at 21:18 on Apr 4, 2015

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 21:10

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Then again, in my experience 99% of the people either drop the knife or run, or both.

This is also true in firearms cases.

Shootings by the NYPD are so rare it's hard to discern a statistical trend for non-compliant EDPs with knives; the 2009 case where a guy ran out of his room and stabbed a Sgt in the brain is not included because nobody got shot, for example.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 21:26

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Liquid Communism posted:

I tend to think this difference in priorities has something to do with the ease of avoiding wrongful death suits. If it was 'train better or pay out x million in damages every time someone screws up and it costs lives', there'd be reason to make that budget available.

Pipe dream, I know, and on the heads of the people above the officers.

Perhaps police departments aren't killing as many people as you think.

Trust me, the city calculates exactly how much things cost, this is why NYC tends to settle almost every case regardless of merit.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 21:29

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Edit: my phone just ate this post

Smiling Jack fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Apr 4, 2015

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 22:25

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

LeoMarr posted:

So, if a dude threatened to "gently caress me up" when I contacted him, is it robbery? He subsequently punched me in the face when I him on the ground. the Officer took him for assault and battery + petty theft. Could the charge be elevated to robbery because he threatened me AND I WAS IN FEAR FOR MY LIFE

Depends on how the local law is written.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 22:29

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

FRINGE posted:

Thats excellent, and not at all part of the problem issues that come up.

So what's your point?

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 22:40

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

I think this thread is destined to be a festering shithole so w/e

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 22:56

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Call a lawyer, sounds like you need one

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 23:26

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

It's been going pretty well so far imo.

So far we've had one guy ask for legal advice on choking a dude, one person who assaults patients in his care and calls us fat and our favorite leg shooter asking about guns in London

# ¿ Apr 5, 2015 00:21

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

Don't let smiling jack bully you out of the thread. Be firm in your convictions.

I was assured of a blue wall of silence and unconditional support wtf Shep

# ¿ Apr 5, 2015 00:34

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

So, from the video, looks like that cop in South Carolina straight up murdered a dude.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 03:57

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Vahakyla posted:

Holy poo poo

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 04:02

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

This is why i support mandatory body cams.

Well, one of the reasons.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 04:02

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

I know a bunch of cops who were looking into purchasing their own body cams but the city said no way.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 04:08

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Once a taser is fired, it can only be used in touch stun mode until you put a new cartridge in it.

Even if that guy had taken his taser, you'd have to articulate a reason to use deadly force, and the guy running away from you is not a reason.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 12:25

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Unanimous opinion that this was murder from my co workers.

The officer who tackled a guy with a loaded handgun yesterday went on a pretty impressive swearing rant about the Officers decision to shoot a fleeing man in the back.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 13:44

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Random drug testing, pop hit you get fired. If you're caught drinking / drunk on the job you take a 30 day unpaid suspension and are then subject to snap breathalyzer tests on and off duty at random times, subject to firing if you blow a BAC over 0.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 23:01

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Davethulhu posted:

"The Sharpie Stabber used this one to kill his 3rd victim."

I guess you can say he's been... Permanently marked.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 23:33

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Hi yes, thanks for taking my post. First time caller, long time listener. Love the show. I heard on Twitter that all cops are bad and racist. Can you confirm/deny? Thanks, I'll just listen to the answers.

He is risen

# ¿ Apr 11, 2015 02:16