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Post your favorite jokes, japes, jests, and general jocularity in this thread. I'll start: A kobold walks into a bar, and he says "Excuse me, can you please stop hiring adventurers to come murder my people," so some adventurers murder him.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 17:32 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 07:57 |
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Three kobolds are walking in the woods one day, and one of them sees a magical wishing well. He walks up to the wishing well and wishes for money, and a traveling adventurer wanders up and cuts off his head. The second kobold wishes for health, and a traveling adventurer wanders up and cuts off his head. The third kobold doesn't wish for anything, but says to the well "Better nate than lever!"
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 17:36 |
We're not going to write your list of 100 hilarious jokes for you, FAU.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 17:39 |
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NinjaDebugger posted:We're not going to write your list of 100 hilarious jokes for you, FAU.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 17:47 |
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What do you do if you see a space man? you park in it, man!
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 17:59 |
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A Toreador, a Lasombra and a Ventrue enter in a bar... They all die because the place was rigged with bombs by a Hunter.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 18:26 |
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What you call an Ork that walks in one leg? You don't call it anything, you heretic piece of poo poo, you shoot it to death.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 18:27 |
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In the grimdark future... there are only jokes, haha!
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 18:29 |
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Perhaps I was a bit hyperbolic in my last post about this, but I stick by the essence of my argument with a slight modification: It seems that in RPGs, either the "realists" are very poor game designers, or the medium of RPGs itself cannot convey the "real" very well. First of all, no RPG is meant to be a pure simulation. It's meant in its first function to be a game. This is why, shockingly, the best designer of vehicle rules for an RPG is NOT an aerospace engineer. The aerospace engineer might know more about vehicles than anyone else on earth, but in reality the best writer for vehicle rules would be a GOOD GAME DESIGNER. And also shockingly, "experts" in their given subject are often too obsessed with said subject to maintain perspective as to what makes good game design. That is to say, if he is an expert in computer hacking, he is likely to make "computer hacking rules" so loving complex that players will have to spend twenty-five minutes and read seven distinct tables of results to complete the action for "my PC turns on his computer". Now, that means that generally speaking, the concept of game playabilty trumps "realism" every time, EVEN among fans of realistic RPGs. And I stick to my guns in saying that most people who claim they want "realism" in their RPGs really mean that what they want is complex rules that are internally consistent and playable, that help them visualize or complement their experience of the game, and only then within the specific parameters of what interests them. That's the other thing: people who want what they call "realism" are usually only interested in certain facets of their game being "real". No one who plays RPGs wants absolute realism. They might want enough rules on vehicle construction and combat to fit an entire 200-page manual, but they sure as hell don't want a 200 page manual of complex rules on cooking or going to the bathroom. Which gets us back to 'simulation'. Most RPGs are emulations. I don't disagree with that at all, on the contrary, I think there's no such thing as an RPG that isn't an emulation. The thing is, almost every RPG is either an emulation of a literary or fantasy genre (fantasy in the sense of an unreal psychological fantasy, not swords&sorcery type fantasy); NOT an emulation of actual reality. So even in an RPG like Shadowrun, you want combat rules to be "simulations" of what you think of in your head when you think "cool cyberpunk battles with high-tech guns blazing all over the place", not what would be a real firefight. Even in historical setting RPGs, the most arguably "realistic" of all, you are still looking for emulation of a fantasy, not emulation of historical fact. You are looking, when you run a campaign based entirely on the historical Roman Empire, to do "I Claudius" with scheming senatorial politics, or legionaries conquering Gaul; not to be a Roman peasant dying at 28 from dysentery. So even games where the emphasis APPEARS to be on realism is really only looking to be an accurate simulation of CERTAIN memes that make the particular fantasy emulation you want to achieve work. You might want really detailed "realistic" information on psychology and mental illness if you're running Call of Cthulhu; whereas if you're running a game set in the wild west you probably only need a moderately detailed set of rules for psychology, if any. So what you're talking about is DETAIL, not realism. In fact, this is often one of the things that fucks up RPGs, either on the level of the system itself or on how people run it. If you are doing an RPG about post-apocalyptic road warriors a lá Mad Max, you probably WANT to have really detailed vehicle combat rules. On the other hand, if you're doing an rpg about a modern-day occult conspiracy, having 200 pages of vehicle design&combat rules will probably get in the way, be a needless waste of space, and kill your game's "feel" if you try to actually implement those rules. Even in situations where it might be appropriate to have detail, you don't want "realism" that kills the fun. I remember with no fondness whatsoever my first and only experience of "actual play" with Rolemaster. It was a game of "Spacemaster" (I think that's what the sci-fi rolemaster rules were called?) with a DM who was a great believer in the "realism" of the rolemaster system and an absolute stickler to those rules. We spent nearly two hours making characters for the game, started out on a spaceship going to some planet. The DM made a bunch of rolls cross-referencing the near-endless book of tables, informed us that the starship we were in hit a meteor, and we all died. End of game. Was it realistic? I'm not sure. Was it complex? Very. Did it totally suck donkey balls? Yes. On the other hand, nothing would gently caress up a game about futuristic Giant Robot pilots than having a one-die-roll resolution system for all Mecha piloting and combat. If you have dedicated as many pages to swordfights and swordfighting maneuvers as you have to gunfights in your wild west game, you better have a drat good reason for doing so. In other words, the areas of simulation you choose to apply a lot of detail to are the areas that the game is expected to emphasize in play. Again, Shadowrun contains an excellent example of this. Why are Riggers important in the world of Shadowrun? Because there are sophisticated rules dedicated to Rigging. If Shadowrun had never had sophisticated rules on Rigging, it could still have existed as a game, you just wouldn't have anyone playing Riggers and it would be assumed that vehicle piloting was not an important aspect of the Shadowrun setting/game. What you choose to make detailed in an RPG determines what will be important in that RPG. So there is NO RPG out there that attempts to be truly "realistic" or a real "simulation" of real life. "REALITY: The RPG" would in fact be a gigantic manual with thousands of pages where the rules were EQUALLY SOPHISTICATED for every aspect of your PC's existence, from reading a book to going to the bathroom to cooking noodles, to driving a car, to getting in a knifefight. That would be "realism". That would also be boring and unplayable as all gently caress. Fortunately, no one really wants that. What one wants is DETAIL, where and when detail is appropriate. It makes sense that most RPGs dedicate one or more entire chapters to combat, while dedicating no more than a few lines if any to cooking. Because most people want to play a game where there will be a genuine expectation of conflict, but not a genuine expectation of an Iron Chef competition in every adventure. If someone wanted to make "Iron Chef: The Cookery" RPG, then you would expect that RPG to have an entire chapter or more dedicated to cooking, and only a couple of lines if any dedicated to combat rules. RPGPundit took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone. Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, “BETTER NATE THAN LEVER,” he ran over the snake.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 18:32 |
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Not gonna lie on retrospect I should have used Galtse but it wasn't thematic enough.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 18:39 |
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TheLovablePlutonis posted:Not gonna lie on retrospect I should have used Galtse but it wasn't thematic enough.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 18:41 |
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Let's talk about music. I don't like music.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 20:18 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:Let's talk about music. I don't like music.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 20:18 |
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dungeons and dragons 4e is a joke .//
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 20:34 |
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black potus posted:dungeons and dragons 4e is a joke .// Hilariously good fun? Yup
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 20:46 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:Well this explains the poo poo you listen to! you post worse than id o
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:23 |
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hey who got the imp zone thread gassed?
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:24 |
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Lord Frisk posted:hey who got the imp zone thread gassed? I promised not to post in the other one, feel free to enjoy that one instead
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:27 |
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naa, that thread was poo poo.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:27 |
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Use Rope
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:28 |
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A better question is why any thread in the Imp Zone isn't gassed yet
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:29 |
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Why gas a thread in imp zone? It's not like they can be poo poo up.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:33 |
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Cool, the drunkposter and the guy who only post on Games and GBS are talking about what is a good thread or not.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:35 |
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TheLovablePlutonis posted:Cool, the drunkposter and the guy who only post on Games and GBS are talking about what is a good thread or not. Haha I didn't know I had already posted twice in this thread
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:36 |
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TheLovablePlutonis posted:Cool, the drunkposter and the guy who only post on Games and GBS are talking about what is a good thread or not. oh no, I poo poo up a poo poo thread? someone call god, this is an emergency.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:44 |
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PleasingFungus posted:Use Rope
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 21:46 |
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Lord Frisk posted:oh no, I poo poo up a poo poo thread? someone call god, this is an emergency. Well, let's be honest here. When Plutonis is calling you out for making GBS threads up a thread you might soon be investigated for fuckin' warcrimes or something.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 22:53 |
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NinjaDebugger posted:We're not going to write your list of 100 hilarious jokes for you, Dagon.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 22:56 |
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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Ask your DM!
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 22:56 |
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Why did the halfling cross the dungeon? Because he rolled a 17 on his agility check.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 22:58 |
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Lord Frisk posted:you post worse than id o you should take the dimensional gate to gbs, thanks
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:00 |
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FactsAreUseless posted:Post your favorite jokes, japes, jests, and general jocularity in this thread. and that's kobold's name was Trayvon. Wait, am I in the wrong D&D again?
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:00 |
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Ronwayne posted:and that's kobold's name was Trayvon.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:02 |
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Ronwayne posted:and that's kobold's name was Trayvon.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:06 |
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... I don't get it.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:40 |
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He who buggers a fire burns his penis. Save for half damage.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:48 |
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Ah, hm, "buggers," yes, a real word.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:52 |
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What's a vampire's least favorite exercise program? CrossFit.
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:53 |
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What do you call a Beholder without any eyes?
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:55 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 07:57 |
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Free XP!
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# ? Apr 1, 2015 23:55 |