Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Abdul Alhazred
Mar 15, 2007

amityville anus posted:

skateboarding is not a crime

LIKE HELL IT ISN'T YOU drat KIDS
with your rockin and rollin and hippin and hoppin

e new idea: organized nursing home crime

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
all you gotta do is whore out the senile old battle axes

SkyEnzo
Mar 8, 2015

No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope
This is pretty cool

Ahundredbux
Oct 25, 2007

The right to bear arms
Robbing a plane

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!
Homosexuality.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

amityville anus posted:

giving a hooker a hotshot and having sex with the corpse

i'd feel weird about that one, like not the good way either. i'd feel sad afterwards i think

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

Ahundredbux posted:

Robbing a plane

this is the actual answer

0haiThere
Feb 18, 2015

Looks like you're in the barrel today.
Murdering someone with a frozen leg of lamb and then cooking and eating the evidence.

The lamb, not the corpse. Cannibalism isn't cool.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
stabbing someone with an icicle and then letting the murder weapon melt away


literally cool

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

A misanthrope posted:

stabbing someone with an icicle and then letting the murder weapon melt away


literally cool


Gatekeeper posted:

throwing a snowball at an icicle so it falls onto your stepdad and kills him

ice cold

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
Putting LSD in the mcflurry machine.

burritolingus
Nov 6, 2007

by Ralp
Richard Kuklinski did some pretty cool crimes imo.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

ice to meet you

*murders stepdad*

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


Grand theft tank

0haiThere
Feb 18, 2015

Looks like you're in the barrel today.
Murdering people while cracking puns

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"


Making a charity for something normal like breast cancer or wounded soldiers and actually giving the money to ISIS

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!
grand theft walrus

Ahundredbux
Oct 25, 2007

The right to bear arms

A misanthrope posted:

this is the actual answer



The fact that he probably died from dropping over a mountain range only makes him cooler imo

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010

by Athanatos

0haiThere posted:

Murdering someone with a frozen leg of lamb and then cooking and eating the evidence.

The lamb, not the corpse. Cannibalism isn't cool.

Roald Dahl should have focused on writing crime novels, honestly. Well, crime novels with snozberries. Love the snozberries. The best part about that short story is that you never even find out what exactly the husband did to cause his loving wife to murder him, it's left entirely to the reader's imagination. But I bet he hosed a co-worker, a male co-worker.

Anyway yeah, this is the coolest crime. Especially when you feed the murder weapon to the detectives themselves. Try doing that with a gun, Americans :smug:.

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

hamburgaling

Kempo Yellow Belt
Jan 5, 2012
Fun Shoe
Sedition.


:getin:

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



Armoring up a bulldozer and demolishing city hall.

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002

btw op a larceny occurs when you steal some chef boyuardee from walmart, so it like... includes petty theft for hobos thry call it theft today hope this helps before you go shoplift the rich to give to the poor or whatever

calusari
Apr 18, 2013

It's mechanical. Seems to come at regular intervals.
death by misadventure

FormaldehydeSon
Oct 1, 2011

nothing tops the killdozer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZbG9i1oGPA

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
Loitering.

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie

Treason

The Blue Pyramid
Mar 1, 2009

:poland: :poland: :poland:
Kiepski to nie
kaktus;
Pić musi!

:poland: :poland: :poland:
The coolest crime is owning a bird feather.


The Dept of Fish and Wildlife is gonna gently caress your poo poo up

Crash_N_Burn
Apr 19, 2014


I dont know man, it just seems like the kind of thing that would get you kicked out of a party for copping to it

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
Regicide. :hist101:

James dean used to hunt Royalty for sport ever weekend. Can't argue with that.

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

being gay op


im gay

the bitcoin of weed
Nov 1, 2014

sodomy

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005

krampster2 posted:

is that illegal?

not yet-- but obama still has plenty of time to ruin the planet

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005

killing the last mating pair of a species

Phil Niekro
Jun 4, 2005

ordering an expensive meal and when the check comes you misgender your server

The Blue Pyramid
Mar 1, 2009

:poland: :poland: :poland:
Kiepski to nie
kaktus;
Pić musi!

:poland: :poland: :poland:

dr_rat posted:

Regicide. :hist101:

Deicide

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
pooping in the urinal

ZeusJupitar
Jul 7, 2009
Any crime orchestrated while you're in jail I'd say.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



Domestic spousal abuse.

  • Locked thread