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DEAR RICHARD
Feb 5, 2009

IT'S TIME FOR MY TOOLS
Tonight's big story is the possible returns of Tamina Snuka and Brad Maddox. There might also be something about Orton wanting to fight Mr. Used Money In The Bank Seth Rollins about the belt he has. Irish man Sheamus, who looks stupid, wants the belt that Daniel Bryan has, and Russian Rusev wants the United States. He never gives up, that Rusev.

Some other stuff might happen tonight, like the issues between Big Show and Roman Reigns might explode into a spear off. The announcers will be back and Michael Cole might have a neck brace. There is probably some other poo poo happening like a 20 minute authority promo, Kane and Big Show killing heat, Nattie looking hot, and like 10 five minute matches.

Come on and get RAAAWWW

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Fiveace Attorney
Dec 12, 2006

I ain't his friend! If you were to ask me if I was his friend, I would say "NO" to you!
It would be cool if JR was on instead of Michael Cole but it would be even super cooler if Cole just came back and acted like nothing happened

abraham linksys
Sep 6, 2010

:darksouls:

DEAR RICHARD posted:

Tonight's big story is the possible returns of Tamina Snuka and Brad Maddox

I only started watching last year and I know Brad Maddox is the guy what live in caves but who's this other person and should I actually care about either of them

Roman Reigns
Aug 23, 2007

abraham linksys posted:

I only started watching last year and I know Brad Maddox is the guy what live in caves but who's this other person and should I actually care about either of them

Tall Samoan lady who was AJ's bodyguard and kicked Nikki Bella's teeth in. Also dropped Naomi on her boobs in some sort of botched press drop.

The answer is, unless they magically became better wrestlers while off TV, not really.

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Roman Reigns posted:

Tall Samoan lady who was AJ's bodyguard and kicked Nikki Bella's teeth in. Also dropped Naomi on her boobs in some sort of botched press drop.

Your post in GIF form:





Fiveace Attorney
Dec 12, 2006

I ain't his friend! If you were to ask me if I was his friend, I would say "NO" to you!
Also she does top rope splashes where she lands on her knees and feet

Roman Reigns
Aug 23, 2007


Always good for a laugh.

Fiveace Attorney posted:

Also she does top rope splashes where she lands on her knees and feet

I always wince when she does it. I THINK shes doing it because she doesn't want to rupture her implants.

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

Chris Jericho
‏@IAmJericho
For those worried that tonights podcast w @johncena is gonna be corporate-ur right. All of my questions have to be approved by #JackTunney

https://twitter.com/IAmJericho/status/585179824848678912

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
i think i've run out of reasons to keep watching raw

so i'll keep posting in this thread

CptAwesome
Nov 2, 2005

Cole's not returning tonight! Just announced it on the Pre-Show.

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Corporate Kane posted:

i think i've run out of reasons to keep watching raw

abraham linksys
Sep 6, 2010

:darksouls:
on one hand:

Corporate Kane posted:

i think i've run out of reasons to keep watching raw

on the other:

CptAwesome posted:

Cole's not returning tonight! Just announced it on the Pre-Show.

on the other: it's probably King/JBL/Booker, isn't it :smith:

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

CptAwesome posted:

Cole's not returning tonight! Just announced it on the Pre-Show.

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon

let's take two green guys and make them a tag team
ok that worked kinda well, now let's split them up
uh
ummm
one of them is gay, that's good PR, right? let's put him in singles matches and let him win a couple times
uh
uhhhhh
uhmmm
uh
let's put them back together

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.
Also I have really cheap scotch and am so ready for this bullshit. Do a thing, Raw.

Roman Reigns
Aug 23, 2007

Corporate Kane posted:

let's take two green guys and make them a tag team
ok that worked kinda well, now let's split them up
uh
ummm
one of them is gay, that's good PR, right? let's put him in singles matches and let him win a couple times
uh
uhhhhh
uhmmm
uh
let's put them back together

The gay one never won any singles matches as far as I can remember. His heel former partner went over him in their feud.

OctoberCountry
Oct 9, 2012

Corporate Kane posted:

let's take two green guys and make them a tag team
ok that worked kinda well, now let's split them up
uh
ummm
one of them is gay, that's good PR, right? let's put him in singles matches and let him win a couple times
uh
uhhhhh
uhmmm
uh
let's put them back together

I don't think the middle part ever happened

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon

Roman Reigns posted:

The gay one never won any singles matches as far as I can remember. His heel former partner went over him in their feud.

that makes it even better

BAWRLIN
Nov 23, 2003

He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long.

This forever.

Needs More Ditka
Dec 3, 2005

We are ruthless and ask no quarter from you. When our turn comes we shall not disguise our terrorism.
it doesn't happen to be in front of a bunch of overactive smarks tonight is it? I sure hope it's in front of a bunch of overactive smarks.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.
you know it's gonna be a bad raw when you're drinking 15 minutes out from the end of NCIS

Photex
Apr 6, 2009




there won't be any mention of AJ will there

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

Needs More Ditka posted:

it doesn't happen to be in front of a bunch of overactive smarks tonight is it? I sure hope it's in front of a bunch of overactive smarks.

it's in austin

beats me

e: we're already getting mizdow vs miz tonight

Jetfire
Apr 29, 2008
Funny how all the pre-show people have to talk endlessly about the Stone Cold podcasts but are obviously not allowed to mention anything that was actually said on them.

Needs More Ditka
Dec 3, 2005

We are ruthless and ask no quarter from you. When our turn comes we shall not disguise our terrorism.

I'm trying to figure out how this happened and I just can't.

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?

OctoberCountry posted:

I don't think the middle part ever happened
To be fair, Darren did tear his ACL so he probably would have won the feud... lol no because he isn't tall and cut like Titus

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon

Photex posted:

there won't be any mention of AJ will there

Nikki will say she isn't a quitter, she clawed and scraped her way to the top

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Roman Reigns posted:

The gay one never won any singles matches as far as I can remember. His heel former partner went over him in their feud.

titus won their match on PPV but Darren beat him in a rematch on Main Event later that week

achillesforever6 posted:

To be fair, Darren did tear his ACL so he probably would have won the feud... lol no because he isn't tall and cut like Titus
i'm pretty sure he injured his knee weeks later because he was in the andre the giant battle royal at WM that year

oatgan fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Apr 7, 2015

Fiveace Attorney
Dec 12, 2006

I ain't his friend! If you were to ask me if I was his friend, I would say "NO" to you!
Titus is great because he can gently caress up anything. Give him a big preshow commentating spot, watch him make everything awkward. Try to make him the fastest loser at the rumble, he botches too long to do it

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Corporate Kane posted:

Nikki will say she isn't a quitter, she clawed and scraped her way to the top

She's gotta get a better plastic surgeon then, most just use scalpels

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Corporate Kane posted:

Nikki will say she isn't a quitter, she clawed and scraped her way to the top

"Never give up" isn't an STD

Edit: Or is it... ?

Needs More Ditka
Dec 3, 2005

We are ruthless and ask no quarter from you. When our turn comes we shall not disguise our terrorism.

Vertical Lime posted:

e: we're already getting mizdow vs miz tonight

build? who needs a build? this is the undercard we're talking. let em fake slap each other and get it over with i have a Big Show feud to plan!

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon

WrasslorMonkey posted:

"Never give up" isn't an STD

Edit: Or is it... ?

"Anaconda Vice" is...

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.
scotch scotch scotch scotch scotch scotch scotch scotch scotch scotch scotch

Photex
Apr 6, 2009




welp AJ mentioned on preshow, it's officially a work.

Chokes McGee
Aug 7, 2008

This is Urotsuki.

Photex posted:

welp AJ mentioned on preshow, it's officially a work.

She worked us into a worked shoot.

a.lo
Sep 12, 2009

what I like about wwe is that everbody is so tall and if you think something like ‘woowza this dude is really tiny, isn’t he?’ and you look up how tall he actually is he’s still like 12′’3′ and probably the next king kong

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy

HH posted:

She worked us into a worked shoot.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost
south park WWE ep is on, it's good. Almost over now tho.

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THATCHER BRAINWASH
Mar 28, 2015

by Cowcaster

Corporate Kane posted:

i think i've run out of reasons to keep watching raw

so i'll keep posting in this thread

CptAwesome posted:

Cole's not returning tonight

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