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64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!
which will we all die by first?
- Nuclear annihilation
- Global warming
- Some disease
- end of the universe (The Big X)
- Skynet
- Zombies
- 2012 in some other year
- Trees turn against us

Anything else i missed?

No but seriously im going with nuclear annihilation, it only takes 1 mistake.

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Graic Gabtar
Dec 19, 2014

squat my posts

Hexagonal posted:

No but seriously im going with nuclear annihilation, it only takes 1 mistake.
1986, is that you?

Pinch Me Im Meming
Jun 26, 2005
Austerity

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice

Graic Gabtar posted:

1986, is that you?

Honestly I'd rather go out quick in a nuclear blast or any kind of large-scale disaster. Of course nuclear explosions aren't really that instantaneous if Barefoot Genki is to be believed. :gonk:

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007
None of the above. We get the cruelest fate of them all - continued existence. Denied the apotheosis we have been promised for time immemorial, we will have to just continue muddling along somehow, waking up in the morning and going to work and looking our boss in the face when he asks how our weekend was and instead of screaming and screaming until our voice fails, we will say "oh, pretty good. You?"

GenderSelectScreen
Mar 7, 2010

I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME
College Slice
A mass suicide would be cool too. Or hell, that aggression signal from Kingsman would be a badass way to go. :black101:

64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!

paranoid randroid posted:

None of the above. We get the cruelest fate of them all - continued existence. Denied the apotheosis we have been promised for time immemorial, we will have to just continue muddling along somehow, waking up in the morning and going to work and looking our boss in the face when he asks how our weekend was and instead of screaming and screaming until our voice fails, we will say "oh, pretty good. You?"

My entire life pretty much...

Rappaport
Oct 2, 2013

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Honestly I'd rather go out quick in a nuclear blast or any kind of large-scale disaster. Of course nuclear explosions aren't really that instantaneous if Barefoot Genki is to be believed. :gonk:

Really depends where you are relative to the center of the blast. Ideally you'd want to both live and work next to an airfield or similar strategically important structure to maximize your chances of being more or less vaporized, rather than having your skin boiled off your body or similar effects further out into the blast zone.

Series DD Funding
Nov 25, 2014

by exmarx
Actually, life is cool.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


there will probably be a big war in our lifetimes

Ardennes
May 12, 2002
Eh capitalism slowly ripping itself apart by the seams over a couple decades only to be replaced by complete chaos?

emfive
Aug 6, 2011

Hey emfive, this is Alec. I am glad you like the mummy eating the bowl of shitty pasta with a can of 'parm.' I made that image for you way back when. I’m glad you enjoy it.
The homosexual agenda will be ultimately accepted and everybody will finally be gay and/or trans and then Jesus will come back in a Death Star with God as Emperor Palpatine and the Virgin Mary dressed up as Leia and He will annihilate the earth and then they will spend eternity looking for the right point in space from which a series of galactic gravity lenses can be used to allow the Death Star to obliterate itself with the massive Death Star weapon because Jesus will realize that there's no fun left in the Creation when there aren't any humans left. The rest of the Universe will just sort of spin on like an old clock for a long long time until on some other lonely planet a spark of life triggers the next Great Homosex Cycle anew.

64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!
I wouldent mind a meteor strike. There would be no riots, no struggle for survival because everyones hosed anyway.
I would just to all the poo poo I wanted to do.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007

Series DD Funding posted:

Actually, life is cool.

It is, but humanity seems to be really super stoked about it ending for some reason.

emfive
Aug 6, 2011

Hey emfive, this is Alec. I am glad you like the mummy eating the bowl of shitty pasta with a can of 'parm.' I made that image for you way back when. I’m glad you enjoy it.

Hexagonal posted:

I wouldent mind a meteor strike. There would be no riots, no struggle for survival because everyones hosed anyway.
I would just to all the poo poo I wanted to do.

Yes because after astronomers announce the doom of earth from an incoming asteroid pretty much everything will be normal until blammo so you'll be able to taste all those flavors of ice cream you've been curious about etc.

ReidRansom
Oct 25, 2004


I'd be disappointed if we didn't meet our end by our own hubris, but hopefully that's a long way off.

Sharkie
Feb 4, 2013

by Fluffdaddy
I would watch an end of the world movie about a lone guy fighting through chaos and city-wide riots to get to the icecream factory before the meteor hits.

edit - to answer the question, environmental devastation will probably kill tons of people but it won't finish off the human race. That would take something bigger. So I'm going for a meteor that looks like a butt, at least then we can get some laughs in before extinction.

Sharkie fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Apr 8, 2015

Graic Gabtar
Dec 19, 2014

squat my posts

emfive posted:

The homosexual agenda will be ultimately accepted and everybody will finally be gay and/or trans and then Jesus will come back in a Death Star with God as Emperor Palpatine and the Virgin Mary dressed up as Leia and He will annihilate the earth and then they will spend eternity looking for the right point in space from which a series of galactic gravity lenses can be used to allow the Death Star to obliterate itself with the massive Death Star weapon because Jesus will realize that there's no fun left in the Creation when there aren't any humans left. The rest of the Universe will just sort of spin on like an old clock for a long long time until on some other lonely planet a spark of life triggers the next Great Homosex Cycle anew.
Still a better story than The Phantom Menace.

64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!

emfive posted:

Yes because after astronomers announce the doom of earth from an incoming asteroid pretty much everything will be normal until blammo so you'll be able to taste all those flavors of ice cream you've been curious about etc.

I didn't mean that everything would be normal, I meant that I would do a bunch of stuff I normally wouldn't or couldn't do in a civilised society.

Effectronica
May 31, 2011
Fallen Rib

Hexagonal posted:

I didn't mean that everything would be normal, I meant that I would do a bunch of stuff I normally wouldn't or couldn't do in a civilised society.

:yikes:

Zeitgueist
Aug 8, 2003

by Ralp

Hexagonal posted:

I didn't mean that everything would be normal, I meant that I would do a bunch of stuff I normally wouldn't or couldn't do in a civilized society.

Not all of us, but the self-identified cismales will be put up against the wall and shot in the coming matriarchy.

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008
Humanity will continue to exist and thrive.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007

The Belgian posted:

Humanity will continue to exist and thrive.

Humanity is one tough customer, buster. And you can take that to the bank.

64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!

The Belgian posted:

Humanity will continue to exist and thrive.

If this were real life, I would ask you how you managed to say that with a straight face.

Effectronica
May 31, 2011
Fallen Rib

Hexagonal posted:

If this were real life, I would ask you how you managed to say that with a straight face.

There are bits in our genetic code that suggest we've been reduced to 2,000 people total in the distant past, and we've rebounded from that.

fade5
May 31, 2012

by exmarx

Sharkie posted:

edit - to answer the question, environmental devastation will probably kill tons of people but it won't finish off the human race. That would take something bigger. So I'm going for a meteor that looks like a butt, at least then we can get some laughs in before extinction.
I was going to give the standard "we have 5 billion years until the sun becomes a Red Giant and barbecues the Earth" but as it turns out multicellular life will be dead far before then: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future

600 million years in the future posted:

The Sun's increasing luminosity begins to disrupt the carbonate–silicate cycle; higher luminosity increases weathering of surface rocks, which traps carbon dioxide in the ground as carbonate. As water evaporates from the Earth's surface, rocks harden, causing plate tectonics to slow and eventually stop. Without volcanoes to recycle carbon into the Earth's atmosphere, carbon dioxide levels begin to fall. By this time, carbon dioxide levels will fall to the point at which C3 photosynthesis is no longer possible. All plants that utilize C3 photosynthesis (~99 percent of present-day species) will die.

800 million years in the future posted:

Carbon dioxide levels fall to the point at which C4 photosynthesis is no longer possible. Free oxygen and ozone disappear from the atmosphere. Multicellular life dies out.

1 billion years in the future posted:

The Sun's luminosity has increased by 10 percent, causing Earth's surface temperatures to reach an average of ~320 K (47 °C, 116 °F). The atmosphere will become a "moist greenhouse", resulting in a runaway evaporation of the oceans. Pockets of water may still be present at the poles, allowing abodes for simple life.

1.3 billion years in the future posted:

Eukaryotic life dies out due to carbon dioxide starvation. Only prokaryotes remain.

2.8 billion years in the future posted:

Earth's surface temperature, even at the poles, reaches an average of ~420 K (147 °C, 296 °F). At this point life, now reduced to unicellular colonies in isolated, scattered microenvironments such as high-altitude lakes or subsurface caves, will completely die out.

3.5 billion years in the future posted:

Surface conditions on Earth are comparable to those on Venus today.


I always get an existential feeling of true insignificance when I think how loving tiny we are compared to the vastness of the universe.

fade5 fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Apr 8, 2015

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008

Hexagonal posted:

If this were real life, I would ask you how you managed to say that with a straight face.

Things are great now and they'll only get better thanks to innovations in science & technology.

64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!

Effectronica posted:

There are bits in our genetic code that suggest we've been reduced to 2,000 people total in the distant past, and we've rebounded from that.

But that is different. Once we have WMDs in the world, our days are numbered.

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008

fade5 posted:

I was going to give the standard "we have 5 billion years until the sun becomes a Red Giant and barbecues the Earth" but as it turns out multicellular life will be dead far before then: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future








I always get an existential feeling of true insignificance when I think how loving tiny we are compared to the vastness of the universe.

We'll have long escaped the earth by then.

emfive
Aug 6, 2011

Hey emfive, this is Alec. I am glad you like the mummy eating the bowl of shitty pasta with a can of 'parm.' I made that image for you way back when. I’m glad you enjoy it.

The Belgian posted:

Things are great now and they'll only get better thanks to innovations in science & technology.

I want a smart robot refrigerator that will automatically dump old rotten stuff out of a tube in the back where it goes to some sort of neighborhood compost pile or maybe the Third World. It will post weekly reports of how much I've contributed to society by forgetting about food I bought.

Motto
Aug 3, 2013

The Belgian posted:

We'll have long escaped the earth by then.

If you mean escape by death, then I agree.

64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!
It has occurred to me that when we leave this planet, and preferably colonise many other planets, most of these problems will be solved.

Kerning Chameleon
Apr 8, 2015

by Cyrano4747
I'll put my chips on the most boring answer possible and say we just die out from general apathy.

Something something Mouse Utopia Experiment.

Effectronica
May 31, 2011
Fallen Rib

Hexagonal posted:

But that is different. Once we have WMDs in the world, our days are numbered.

Unless we trigger a nuclear winter or some much less likely catastrophic event, it's hard to imagine NBC weapons actually killing humanity below minimum viability given how such weapons have been intended to be used. Even the sort of full-scale nuclear exchange necessary to trigger nuclear winter is very unlikely to happen in the recent future.

Motto
Aug 3, 2013

Hexagonal posted:

It has occurred to me that when we leave this planet, and preferably colonise many other planets, most of these problems will be solved.

It won't happen.

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008

emfive posted:

I want a smart robot refrigerator that will automatically dump old rotten stuff out of a tube in the back where it goes to some sort of neighborhood compost pile or maybe the Third World. It will post weekly reports of how much I've contributed to society by forgetting about food I bought.

Sounds good or maybe it could be used as biofuel.

And just because some pieces of technology are fairly useless doesn't mean we haven't achieved great things also.

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008

Motto posted:

It won't happen.

You're just projecting your own pessimism and dissatisfaction.

PsychoLordling
May 13, 2008

If you can read this Sarah Palin's dick must have fallen out of my mouth. Please return it to it's proper position.
We will be taken out by Skynet.

It took hundred of millions of years for evolution of life to get an organisme that Prometheus could give the ability to capture history and control our enviornment.. Then 10000 years to create a computer, 50 more to spread its fangs around the entire planet, making 99% of the money virtual, and keeping logs of all ownership and records.

Once it wakes up, we are dead.

64GB
Apr 8, 2015

Who would need any more than that?!

Effectronica posted:

Unless we trigger a nuclear winter or some much less likely catastrophic event, it's hard to imagine NBC weapons actually killing humanity below minimum viability given how such weapons have been intended to be used. Even the sort of full-scale nuclear exchange necessary to trigger nuclear winter is very unlikely to happen in the recent future.
Even accidents like Chernobyl had a serious threat to us. Chernobyl was so close to loving up a huge part of the world.
So it doesn't have to be intentional.

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potee
Jul 23, 2007

Or, you know.

Not fine.

The Belgian posted:

You're just projecting your own pessimism and dissatisfaction.

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