Section 60 posted:

As you leave the beach, the going underfoot becomes rocky, with only a few leafless shrubs to break the monotony. The moonlight plays strange tricks with the rock shapes, turning them into grotesque monsters until you come close enough to see they are nothing of the sort.

The island, you quickly discover, is very small and largely featureless except for the temple... and for a cave entrance set into a cliff at the northern edge.

If you decide to explore the cave, go to 100.
If you prefer to return to the temple, go to 62.

Section 100 posted:

There is definitely something peculiar about this cave. Maybe it's the shape of the cave mouth: from certain angles, it looks like the outline of a hollow, grinning skull. Probably doesn't mean anything, of course. Although you do move rather warily as you go inside; and even old E.J. has stopped mumbling.

Once inside, the cave mouth narrows dramatically, becoming little more than a fissure cleft in the rock face. You actually have to turn sideways to squeeze through, praying this isn't the time you're going to meet something nasty.

But nothing attacks you and soon you are safely through the cleft into what your torchlight shows to be a smallish, bone-dry cavern. The cavern is empty except for a signpost.

Section 100 posted:

A signpost? Well, it's definitely a signpost. And when you think of it, that's probably no more odd than a lot of other things you've discovered in the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle.

The signpost points north, south, east and west. The arms pointing north, south and west all carry the same message:

NOWHERE.

The arm pointing east reads:

TO THE CRYPT OF THE FIEND
(Ancient Monument)

Less than three metres away from the signpost, set into the east wall of the cavern, is a well-made wooden door bearing a highly polished brass plaque on which are engraved the words:

THE CRYPT OF THE FIEND
(Please Knock)



There are no doors or other exits from this cavern.

If you have not already explored the temple and now think this might be an excellent time to do so, go to 62.
If you want to risk entering the Crypt of the Fiend, go to 101.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 27/40
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 4
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x11, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x10, Silver hieroglyph ring

FredMSloniker posted:

Ah, the Fiend. I remember the Fiend. (That doesn't mean I remember whether going to the Temple instead is a good or bad idea. But I definitely remember the Fiend!)

Section 101 posted:

The door is unlocked and opens creakily at your touch. You find yourself standing on a glistening floor of jet-black marble in a twelve-metre-square chamber, all walls of which are draped solemly in black velvet.

In the exact centre of the camber is a dais and on the dais a large ebony coffin. Your torch flickers alarmingly in here, although the air is still, casting dancing shadows. It is cold, silent, and very, very still. Your footsteps echo as you walk, reluctantly, towards the coffin.

There is a large silver plaque bolted to the dais, on which has been cut the following inscription in very tiny letters:

_{Hail brave warrior and adventurer bold
You have reached the Crypt of the Fiend
Established in the days of old.
And a very poetic Fiend he is
(Much better tha the Wiz
-ard Ansalom)
So he's been told.
So if the poetic Fiend you wish to arouse
Sleeping as he is in his coffin-like house
You must first find the answer hid
To the puzzle on the coffin lid.
Then praise his poetry to the skies
Even if this means telling a few lies
And the Fiend will help you on your way.
Otherwise you won't live a single day.}

When you finally recover from this truly awful piece of poetry, you step on to the dais and examine the plaque on the lid of the coffin. This reads (in fairly average-sized lettering):

To open coffin and meet the world-famous Poetic Fiend, simply follow the instructions.
Please fo so carefully, otherwise the coffin will explode, destroying the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle, the Realm of Avalon, the entire world, the universe, and, quite possibly, you.

Instructions
If the word 'if' is the second word in this sentence, knock twice. Otherwise knock three times, unless birds can fly, in which case knock only once, except for those of you who know Merlin who should knock four times unless the word 'if' was the third word in the first sentence in which case you should only knock once.

You have five seconds to start knocking before the coffin explodes.

If you knocked once, go to 84.
If you knocked twice, go to 104.
If you knocked three times, go to 109.
If you knocked four times, go to 102.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 27/40
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 4
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x11, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x10, Silver hieroglyph ring

dscruffy1 posted:

Well. The word if isn't the first or third word in the first sentence. Birds can fly, and we know Merlin. So...four times?

Section 102 posted:

You step back hurriedly as the lid of the coffin slowly starts to open. A white gloved hand emerges to grip the side, then, slowly, terrifyingly, the Fiend himself begins to rise up from the velvet and satin-lined interior.

Section 84, Section 104, Section 109 posted:

BOOOOOOOOOM!

Go to 14.

Section 102 posted:

The Fiend is tall, slim, chalky white and dressed (rather oddly for King Arthur's day) in a long black opera cloak over white tie and tails evening suit. His eyes are very large and very dark. Two of his top teeth protude over his lower lip, like fangs. Slowly he turns those great dark eyes towards you...

Don't wait a moment, Pip. Turn to 111.

Section 111 posted:

'Hello, Duckie,' says the Fiend. 'What a pleasure to find an intelligent visitor for a change. Most of them blow themselves up, you know. Very painful. Now, what is it you want of me?'

Since you don't really know what you want of him, you simply stare dumbly as he climbs out of his coffin, stretching to get the stiffness out of his joints.

'Don't you know what you want?' asks the Fiend, kindly enough. 'It's always the way, even with the clever ones. Do you like my poetry, by the way? I wrote the verse on the plaque.'

Do you praise his poetry, comparing him to Milton, Keats, Shakespeare and Pam Ayres (none of whom he will have heard of, since they were not yet born in King Arthur's day)? If so, go to 87.
Do you tell the truth? If so, go to 117.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 27/40
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 4
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x11, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x10, Silver hieroglyph ring

posted:

"Then praise his poetry to the skies
Even if this means telling a few lies..."

Section 117 posted:

The Fiend fangs you. Go to 14.

Section 87 posted:

'Very kind,' the Fiend murmurs modestly, obviously extremely pleased, even though he looks a little puzzled by the names you mentioned. 'Very kind indeed.' He begins to pace dramatically up and down the floor of his crypt, in the manner of a Shakespearian actor, declaming the following worthless doggerel:

Oh what a joy it is for me
To be
Truly
Appreciated by someone who has obviously more intelligence than a flea!

He smiles. 'A little extempore ode to mark the occasion. But now to business, since it is seldom I meet anyone with the critical faculties to appreciate my genius. Since you have been kind enough to listen to my little verses, I shall return the compliment.' With which he produces a sheet of blank parchment from the breast pocket of his tail coat and a most peculiar feather from the inside pocket. (On close inspection, the latter turns out to be a fountain quill.)

'Take these,' he says, 'and forthwith compose and ode, ballad, limerick, haiku, or some suck similar verse for our mutual edification and delight. Make it as long as possible, but be certain that every second line rhymes with the one before, in this manner:

I'm going now
To milk a cow.
And when I do
I'll have you know
We'll soon have milk
As smooth as silk.

'And so on, for just as long as you can make it.'

The Fiend is obviously a nutcase, Pip, but rather likeable. Better humour him and compose a poem as he says. Who knows what might come out of a little courtesy in the Age of Chivalry.

Use the blank page which follows to write down your poem, then turn to 112.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 36/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 0
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
None

Ghostwoods posted:

Edit: Too late.

Carbon dioxide posted:

idonotlikepeas posted:

Pip's poem for the Fiend posted:

There was once a nice guy known as Pip
Merlin sent him on a lengthy trip
Pip did have to lie
To make the Wiz die
And the Fiend would retrieve the lost ship

There was once a wizard as dark as pitch
Who opined that Pip's plan was quite rich
But, using a map
He could beat each trap
And Pip would make Ansalom his bitch

All we really had to do was lie
But some goons desperately wanted us all to die
They bade us speak true
Which we then had to do
It bit us in the rear
Now we've reset our gear
Including that garlic
Which would be really useful in this situation if the hero of the book weren't a little thick
But we lost our loot
Which isn't a hoot
Anyway what's the deal with this Pip
He's kind of a dip
Why can't we use the garlic on this vampire
Seriously, this dude is just straight-up a vampire... which arouses my ire
Come on, why do you even include suspiciously obvious garlic in a list of things that an adventurer has if you aren't supposed to use it to fight a vampire at some point that's just common sense much like that possessed by your dad
You cad

Section 112 posted:

'What a delight! What a masterwork!' exclaims the Fiend when you hand him the completed poem. 'For this, you shall be richly rewarded.'

And for every line of your poem, he hands you a Gold Piece! You're doing rather well for Gold Pieces now, Pip. How many is that altogether? Don't forget to keep a careful tally.

Section 112 posted:

'Now,' says the Fiend, 'since my arithmetic is rather weak, you must tell me if there are more than ten lines in your poem.'

If there are, in fact, more than ten lines in your poem, go to 81.
If there are only ten lines or less, go to 116.

Section 81 posted:

'More than ten lines!' squeals the Fiend delightedly. 'What sterling work! What poetic effort! What creative herculean labour! This too must be rewarded!'

And from the pocket of his trousers, he hands you a small wooden duck, rather garishly painted yellow, red and brown. It seems to have had wheels once, but these are broken off.

'This,' says the Fiend, 'is my most precious possession; and now it is yours. It's a magic duck.'

'Magic?' you echo, getting a word in edgeways for the first time in ages. 'What does it do?'

'I don't know,' admits the Fiend. 'And you mustn't know yet either. But should you ever find yourself in great danger from any form of evil magic, you may shout:

Magic duck,
Come to my aid:
I'm not afraid!

'And turn at once to 119 where you will find out about the duck's magic. But don't turn to 119 until you really need to use the duck, because that dispels the magic and you can only use it once.' The Fiend yawns. 'Now, my dear young friend, although it has been a great pleasure meeting with you, I grow tired. If you will excuse me, I shall return to my coffin and rest to await my next visitor.' With which he sweeps back his black opera coat, favours you with a dazzling smile, leaps into his coffin and pulls down the lid. Nor will any number of knocks persuade him to open it up again.

Since there doesn't seem much else you can do here, turn to 62 and find out what's in the temple.

Section 62 posted:

As you approach the temple, your eye catches a flash of movement from within the colonnade. You stop at once and draw Excalibur Junior, ready for any eventuality.

But a soft, melodious voice says kindly, 'Put away the sword, Pip: you are in no danger from me.' And out of the shadows of the colonnade steps the most beautiful lady you have ever seen, tall, serene, stately, gowned in white gossamer. Could this be the Queen? You realise suddenly you have never met Guinevere, hence do not even know what she looks like. And this lady certainly seems regal enogh to be a Queen.



'How flattering, Pip,' remarks the White Lady, as if she had read your thoughts. 'But I am not Guinevere. Indeed, I am not even mortal, as you understand the term. If you require a name for me, use that which Arthur sometimes uses - the Lady of the Lake. Although this dark place is not the lake where he first saw me.'

Section 62 posted:

She beckons you to follow and returns to the interior of the temple. Inside, you find a simple chamber with mosaic inlay on the floor and a white block marble altar on which stands a jewelled chalice and a glistening gemstone on a velvet cushion.

'This temple does not exist in the world as you know it,' says the Lady of the Lake. 'In fact, this whole island does not exist in your world, and will disappear forever once you depart from here. I have come because I am the avowed enemy of all things evil and the Wizard Ansalom, whom you seek, is undoubtedly evil. In the past, I have aided King Arthur to fight against the forces of darkness; and now, if you wish it, I shall aid you.'

You nod, vigorously. You need all the help you can get.

The Lady smiles. 'Very well, Pip: first drink of this chalice.' And she hands you the jewelled chalice from the altar.

If you are prepared to drink, go to 103.
If you feel it wiser not to, go to 108.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 36/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 0
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), Magic Duck (Dispels magic, probably? 'Magic Duck, Come to my aid: I'm not afraid!', and turn to 119)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x26

Section 103 posted:

The chalice contains a clear, cool, blue-green liquid which tastes of honey and blackcurrants. As you drink, a feeling of great well-being flows through your body.

If you are currently under your full total of LIFE POINTS you will instantly be restored to complete strength.
Furthermore, the liquid provides you with a temporary LIFE POINT buffer of 25 LIFE POINTS. What this means is that you have an additional store of 25 life points over and above your full total. Any damage scored against you will now be taken from the additional 25 first before being deducted from your actual LIFE POINTS. The buffer is, however, temporary, so once you have used it up, it's gone for good.

The Lady of the Lake smiles at you. 'Feel better now, Pip?'

You nod and smile back.

'Well,' says the Lady, 'I have one more small gift for you...'

And she takes the glittering gemstone from the altar and places it in the palm of your outstretched hand.

'This,' says the Lady, 'is called a Luckstone. A magical gem, which only works for those of brave, honest, good, loyal and true heart. While you possess this Luckstone - and it is yours to keep so long as you don't get yourself killed - you may add, or substract, 3 points to or from any dice roll you may make. This means that when you are fighting, you can add 3 points to your roll in order to gain a successful blow; or add 3 points to the damage caused if your blow is already successful. In fact, any circumstance which requires a dice roll from now on, you may add or substract 3 to or from your total in order to achieve the result you wish.

'Furthermore,' says the Lady, taking a deep breath, 'if you manage to survive the present adventure so that your Luckstone is intact at the time you leave the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle, you may keep this luckstone and bring it with you on subsequent adventures.'

Section 103 posted:

A gem indeed, Pip! 'Thank you, Lady,' you breathe gratefully and place the Luckstone carefully away in your pack. As you do so, the Lady and the temple begin to fade gently away, leaving you standing back in 75. Frantically, you open your backpack. The Luckstone is still there! Fantastic!

Now turn to 75 but ***NOTE*** you will NOT ever again be able to find the secret door to the north, whatever it may say in your spell book, either this time round, or at any other time should you be killed and return this way. Remember that, Pip. Trying to go through the Lady of the Lake again will break the spell.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 61/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 0
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), Magic Duck (Dispels magic, probably? 'Magic Duck, Come to my aid: I'm not afraid!', and turn to 119), Luckstone (plus or minus 3 on any dice roll)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x26

Carbon dioxide posted:

Unless there are unexpected instadeaths, I think it might've become impossible to lose now.

Section 76 posted:

This corridor runs due east for twelve metres and ends in a door. Or what used to be a door. This one is badly splintered and is hanging from one hinge as if something terribly big burst through it some time ago. The problem is, did something terribly big burst out or burst in? There is no light beyond the hanging door, but if you listen very, very carefully, you should just be able to pick up the sound of breathing from the darkness.



Going in, Pip? Then go to 77.
Or you could always go back to the corridor at 75.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 61/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 0
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), Magic Duck (Dispels magic, probably? 'Magic Duck, Come to my aid: I'm not afraid!', and turn to 119), Luckstone (plus or minus 3 on any dice roll)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x26

Section 77 posted:

Don't like the sound of that breathing, Pip. Still, it's your skin...

You poke your lighted torch into the room, but nothing happens. The torch doesn't light it up! There's magic afoot here, Pip. Still want to go in?

If so, go to 72.
If not, you can still retrace your steps to 74.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 61/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 0
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), Magic Duck (Dispels magic, probably? 'Magic Duck, Come to my aid: I'm not afraid!', and turn to 119), Luckstone (plus or minus 3 on any dice roll)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x26

Section 72 posted:

Nervously, you edge your way forward in total darkness, one hand against the rough texture of the stone wall for guidance, the other firmly gripping the hilt of faithful Excalibur Junior. The breathing is louder now, closer.

'Who's there?' you call.

The breathing stops.

Better go to 67 before the tension gives you a nervous breakdown.

Section 67 posted:

You are attacked savagely about the ankle.

Ankle?

Yes - ankle! And if it's funny, it's also very painful, not to say damaging. (Deduct 4 LIFE POINTS immediately for ankle damage: if this kills you, go to 14.)

Let's recap your situation. You can't see a thing, being surrounded by magical darkness. Your torch won't work (and though you haven't tried it, you can be pretty sure your oil lamp won't either). You are being savagely attacked at a rather low level. What are your options?

Well, you can obviously try to fight back. The only problem is that you can't see. So you're going to have to swing wildly. And your chances of actually hitting anything aren't much good. So if you decide to fight, you will have to roll 10 or better on your two dice to score a hit. (So any damage you might do, if you do connect, is that much smaller.) Or you can try to make friends, which doesn't sound too hopeful, since whatever it is seems to be chewing away at your ankle even at this very minute. Or you can try to do something about the darkness.

The problem there is - what? It's magical darkness. Torches don't work. Lamps don't work. Only some form of magic will work. A Fireball - if you have any left? Or a Firefinger Lightning Bolt - if you have any left? But should you waste them here or save them for what could be worse nasties to come? Life is full of hard decisions, Pip, when you get yourself into one of these magical adventures.

If you decide to fight, go to 90.
If you decide to try to make friends, go to 92.
If you decide to use a Fireball or a Lightning Bolt Firefinger to get a bit of light in here, go to 97.

Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 57/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 0
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), Magic Duck (Dispels magic, probably? 'Magic Duck, Come to my aid: I'm not afraid!', and turn to 119), Luckstone (plus or minus 3 on any dice roll)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
Gold Piece x26