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Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
Eh, let's try East.

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Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 96 posted:

The corridor runs east for about twenty-five metres before you find yourself at a sort of corridor crossroads. A glance to the south shows you two Guards standing by a southern door. (Fortunately they didn't see you, but they undoubtedly will if you try to cross the corridor or go north.)

To the north, the corridor runs fifteen metres before ending in a solid wooden door. To the east, the corridor continues for a further ten metres ending in steps downwards; but to go this way, you must cross the north/south corridor.

By the looks of this, you can only tackle the Guards, unless you want to return to an earlier Section. Go to 95.

Once again, we can make a decision, and we have some options:

1. Attack the Guards - if you choose this, please say also where you want to go afterwards: through the door they were guarding, through the other door, or down the steps
2. Go back to the intersection and go west
3. Go back to the intersection and search for a secret door.



Pip’s Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 36/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
None

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the first: pecked to death by Savage Chickens.
Death the second: fanged by the Poetic Fiend (sometimes, honesty is not the best policy).
Death the third: bitten by a deadly poisonous snake (you can tell it's poisonous by the skull and crossbones markings on its back).

Mikl fucked around with this message at 11:11 on May 1, 2015

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
What have we got to lose? Literally nothing any more. (Well, except our life, but feh.) Kill the guards, and go through the door they were guarding!

inflatablefish
Oct 24, 2010

Ghostwoods posted:

What have we got to lose? Literally nothing any more. (Well, except our life, but feh.) Kill the guards, and go through the door they were guarding!

Sounds good to me, they must be guarding it for a reason.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 95 posted:

With E.J. drawn, you launch yourself down the corridor like a tornado.

'Have at you, Guards of the wicked Wizard Ansalom!' you cry.

Brave words, Pip, but do they do you any good? You can claim first strike because of your surprise attack: after that it's out with the old dice to see how the fight goes.

The Guards each have 15 LIFE POINTS. Their swords will do +2 damage and their armour deducts 2 from any damage scored against them.

Let's get rolling!

Pip attacks! 1 + 1 = 2, well that's embarassing :sweatdrop:
Guard 1 attacks! 6 + 5 = 11, Pip is hit for 5 + 2 - 4 = 3 LIFE POINTS and is down to 33.
Guard 2 attacks! 4 + 3 = 7, Pip is hit for 1 + 2 - 4 = 0 LIFE POINTS and nothing happens (thanks dragonhide jerkin!).
Pip attacks! 4 + 6 = 10, Guard 1 is hit for 6 + 5 - 2 = 9 LIFE POINTS, and is down to 6.
Guard 1 attacks! 2 + 6 = 8, Pip is hit for 2 + 2 - 4 = 0 LIFE POINTS.
Guard 2 attacks! 2 + 2 = 4, Pip is missed.
Pip attacks! 2 + 5 = 7, Guard 1 is hit for 3 + 5 - 2 = 6 LIFE POINTS falls down dead.
Guard 2 attacks! 1 + 1 = 2, missed once again.
Pip attacks! 5 + 2 = 7, Guard 2 is hit for 3 + 5 - 2 = 6 LIFE POINTS and is down to 9.
Guard 2 attacks! 1 + 4 = 5, another miss.
Pip attacks! 1 + 5 = 6, Guard 2 is hit for 2 + 5 - 2 = 5 LIFE POINTS, is down to 4 and faints from the pain.

That wasn't too hard now, was it?

Section 95 posted:

If the Guards kill you, go to 14.

If you kill the Guards, you now have the option of:
1. Entering the room they were guarding - go to 138.
2. Returning up the corridor and continuing east - go to 130.
3. Returning up the corridor and continuing north - go to 149.
4. Returning to any available earlier Section.

Let's see what these dudes were guarding!

Section 138 posted:

In some ways this is the strangest room you've been in yet. It's empty of people, but not of clutter. In fact, it's so jam-packed you can hardly tell what size it is.

There's a furnace and benches, racks, shelves, cabinets, sacks, drums, barrels... the list could go on forever. Hanging from the ceiling are stuffed lizards, dried herbs, shrunken heads, a few glistening skulls and one full skeleton. There are banners on the wall embroidered with mystic sigils. There is a circle drawn on the floor on one of the few open spaces; and the circle is is inscribed with more mystic signs.

One glance would tell you all you need to know. This is obviously the Wizard Ansalom's magical workroom.

Score!

Section 138 posted:

Want to search? Go to 128.
Interested to see what happens if you step into the magic circle? Go to 144.
Decide to get out of here as quickly as possible? Return to any available earlier Section since there are no exits from this room.



Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 33/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: :siren: 3 :siren:
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
None

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the first: pecked to death by Savage Chickens.
Death the second: fanged by the Poetic Fiend (sometimes, honesty is not the best policy).
Death the third: bitten by a deadly poisonous snake (you can tell it's poisonous by the skull and crossbones markings on its back).

Zoe
Jan 19, 2007
Hair Elf
Seems like things could go terribly wrong here but we already lost all our loot. Have a good rummage, what could go wrong?

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"

Zoe posted:

Seems like things could go terribly wrong here but we already lost all our loot. Have a good rummage, what could go wrong?

Just my thinking.

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.
I see no way rummaging could be a bad thing.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
Looting time!

Section 128 posted:

Roll dice to see if the search produces anything worthwile.

Score 2-6 and go to 123.
Score 7-9 and go to 148.
Score 10-12 and go to 133.

Roll: 5 + 3 = 8, to 148!

Section 148 posted:

Mmm, something interesting here. Looks like a wand of some sort... You lift the wand and wave it. Nothing happens. All the same, it looks like a wand... You point it. Nothing happens.

'Silly thing!' you mutter. And at once the wand emits a luminous green globule, which sticks to the wall, pulsating slightly. A little trial and error soon teaches you to use the globule wand. You point and say, 'Silly thing' and a globule fires. Whether or not the globule hits the thing you're aiming at depends on whether you achieve your normal strike throw. If it does hit, the globule will do no damage, but it will hold your opponent perfectly still while you get four strikes at him without his being able to strike back.

Now roll one die to find out how many globules are left in the wand.

Roll: 5, we have 5 of these things left. (Who makes a wand with "silly thing" as an activation phrase?)

This was the best possible outcome for the "search the room" roll, by the way: 123 is your standard "nope, nothing here, go back" section, while 133 yields a crystal ball which shows us the Queen chained off somewhere, but it doesn't tell us where so it's no help at all.

Section 148 posted:

Since there's no exit from the lab, return to 96 before deciding where to go next.

96 is where we decide whether to attack the guards, 95 is the actual decision point:

Section 95 posted:

If you kill the Guards, you now have the option of:
1. Entering the room they were guarding - go to 138.
2. Returning up the corridor and continuing east - go to 130.
3. Returning up the corridor and continuing north - go to 149.
4. Returning to any available earlier Section.

What shall it be?



Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 33/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 3
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), :siren: magic wand with 5 charges (say 'silly thing' and make an attack roll to hold an enemy still for four rounds) :siren:
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
None

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the first: pecked to death by Savage Chickens.
Death the second: fanged by the Poetic Fiend (sometimes, honesty is not the best policy).
Death the third: bitten by a deadly poisonous snake (you can tell it's poisonous by the skull and crossbones markings on its back).

Mikl fucked around with this message at 22:34 on May 1, 2015

inflatablefish
Oct 24, 2010
Let's go North and see what's there before we head downstairs.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 149 posted:

The northern corridor ends in a door, which is slightly ajar. Carefully, quietly, you push it open.

A Guard Room! It's obviously a Guard Room since there is all sorts of military equipment - swords, shields, daggers, spears - stacked along the walls; not to mention tables, chairs, plates, goblets, even dice, which you would normally associate with a large number of Guards. The only thing is - it's empty. Something suspicious here, Pip.

There are two exit doors to the room: one in the east wall, the other in the north wall.

If you decide to enter the room, go to 122.
If not, return to any available section you haven't explored.

An empty Guard Room! Maybe it's our lucky day?



Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 33/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 3
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, Garlic, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), magic wand with 5 charges (say 'silly thing' and make an attack roll to hold an enemy still for four rounds)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
None

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the first: pecked to death by Savage Chickens.
Death the second: fanged by the Poetic Fiend (sometimes, honesty is not the best policy).
Death the third: bitten by a deadly poisonous snake (you can tell it's poisonous by the skull and crossbones markings on its back).

inflatablefish
Oct 24, 2010
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Apparently no-one! Let's loot like it's going out of fashion!

AutistTree
Mar 28, 2010
Loot and plunder :black101:.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 122 ****B posted:

You're halfway across the room, tiptoeing, when a soft voice whispers in your ear: 'He doesn't need guards, Pip - he's got me...'

You freeze, then turn. You are staring into the cold eyes and smining fangs of a fully fledged, dyed-in-the-wool, real-life

VAMPIRE!



Do you still have that garlic, by any chance?

If you still have your garlic (no cheating now: if you ate it, it's gone) then go to 132.
If you don't, go to 147.

Aren't you glad that we didn't waste our garlic by, say, putting it into the sandwiches we gave to the Wolf?

Section 132 posted:

'Aarrrghhhh!'

The scream of the Vampire as he sees the garlic your hand. He clutches his throat and writhes. 'Aaarrghhh!'

His knees buckle slowly. His eyes cross. His face goes pale (well, paler). His entire body begins to convulse. His fangs fall out. He drops in a heap on the floor. He begins to shrivel, growing smaller and smaller untill all that's left is a tiny heap of dust, some mouldering clothes and a jewelled ring (worth 500 Gold Pieces of anybody's money). Lucky you had that garlic, Pip.

Lucky indeed! The Vampire fight is the second-most bullshit fight in this gamebook: besides being a difficult fight in its own regard, it has the distinction that if the Vampire hits two times in a row it automatically kills you, no saving throw or anything. And, if we win the fight, we get no loot at all.

Section 132 posted:

If you want to try the door on the east wall, go to 136.
If you want to try the door on the north wall, go to 127.

Alternatively, as always, we can go back to any previous section.



Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 33/36
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 3
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4, +5 damage), Dragonhide jerkin (-4 damage), Healing potion (heals two dice rolls) x18, Rope (fifteen metres), Climbing spikes x12, Torch x6, Lantern, Oil flask x4, Tinderbox, Bully-beef sandwiches, Apple x2, Parchment, quill, and ink, Dagger (+2 damage), Wound salve (heals 3 LIFE POINTS) x5, :siren: Garlic :siren:, Mirror, Hammer, nails and a saw, Lodestone and twine
MAGIC:
Lightning Bolt x9 (10 damage, automatic hit), Fireball x2 (75 damage, hits on a 6 or higher), magic wand with 5 charges (say 'silly thing' and make an attack roll to hold an enemy still for four rounds)
MONEY AND VALUABLES:
:siren: Vampire's ring (worth 500 Gold Pieces) :siren:

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the first: pecked to death by Savage Chickens.
Death the second: fanged by the Poetic Fiend (sometimes, honesty is not the best policy).
Death the third: bitten by a deadly poisonous snake (you can tell it's poisonous by the skull and crossbones markings on its back).

Mikl fucked around with this message at 15:35 on May 2, 2015

Added Space
Jul 13, 2012

Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!
You didn't pick up the 500 gp ring.

Go north, young man

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Added Space posted:

You didn't pick up the 500 gp ring.

What are you talking about? I totally did :ssh:

(Thanks.)

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
Let's go on in.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
Where else in the book might you have used the garlic, anyway? (I'm not sure we should count the offering sandwich thing.)

Zoe
Jan 19, 2007
Hair Elf
Let's try not to die anymore that ring is worth more than everything else we've found put together. The way this book is balanced really is silly. No one's going to eat the sandwich when they have a billion healing potions and no one's going to waste garlic even if they did when garlic's only purpose in any adventure is to prevent vampire bites.

Also, drat, that was the most dramatic reaction I've ever seen a vampire have to anything that wasn't sunlight.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
Let's see what's through the north door!

Section 127 ****B (Hounds only) posted:

As you approach, a strange thing happens - the northern door swings open of its own accord!

You are looking into a vast, granite-lined throne room, colonnaded with black, granite pillars. Between each pillar stands a thick, two-metre-high, jet-black lighted candle, which gives off a heavy, sickly-sweet smell of incense. Beyond the columns hang heavy maroon velvet drapes.

At the end of the colonnade is a granite dais, stepped to a huge, rough-hewn granite throne. By the foot of the throne are two of the largest, fiercest, jet-black Hounds you have ever seen — Hounds that stare at you malevolently with fiery eyes. And on the throne sits a tall, dark-haired, dark-bearded figure dressed in heavy, flowing black robes. Menace hangs over him like a thundercloud.

'Welcome, little person,' booms the figure on the throne. 'It seems you wish to see me.'

It's him, Pip! It's him!! You are face to face with the Wizard Ansalom Himself!!!


Hello :stare:

Section 127 ***B posted:

What a fight this is going to be. (You are going to fight him, aren't you, Pip? Not much point in the whole adventure if you don't, eh ?)

First the good news. The Wizard Ansalom will make no move to harm you until you have successfully defeated his Black Hounds. Now the bad news. Each Hound has 25 LIFE POINTS and bites with + 4 damage. Get the dice rolling, Pip.

If the Hounds kill you, go to 14.
If you kill the Hounds, take a deep breath, use any Healing Potions or Salves you may have and go to 137.

The +4 bite damage the Black Hounds have effectively negates our -4 dragonhide jerkin.

(Also once again: note how we could bribe the Black Hounds to step aside while we smack their master silly.)

I hope you'll excuse me if for this fight, and the next one, I go all-out on the magic. Better safe than sorry.

Pip's initiative roll: 4 + 6 = 10
Black Hound 1 initiative roll: 2 + 4 = 6
Black Hound 2 initiative roll: 4 + 1 = 5

Luckily, we shall go first.

Firefinger 1! Black Hound 1 is hit by a Lightning Bolt for 10 LIFE POINTS and is down to 15.
Black Hound 1 attacks! 3 + 6 = 9, Pip is hit for 3 + 4 - 4 = 3 LIFE POINTS and is down to 30.
Black Hound 2 attacks! 1 + 3 = 4, Pip expertly dodges.
Firefinger 1! Black Hound 1 is hit by a Lightning Bolt for 10 LIFE POINTS, is down to 5 and is out of the fight.
Black Hound 2 attacks! 1 + 6 = 7, Pip is hit for 1 + 4 - 4 = 1 LIFE POINT and is down to 29.
Firefinger 1! Black Hound 2 is hit by a Lightning Bolt for 10 LIFE POINTS and is down to 15.
Black Hound 2 attacks! 3 + 3 = 6, just barely missed.
Firefinger 1! Black Hound 2 is hit by a Lightning Bolt for 10 LIFE POINTS, is down to 5 and falls to the ground out cold.

I'll just quaff a potion to be at full health:
Potion roll: 5 + 5 = 10, back up to our maximum 36 LIFE POINTS.

Heading into 137 with full LIFE POINTS and 5 Lightning Bolts and 2 Fireballs left, things are looking up!

Section 137 posted:

'My Hounds!' screams the Wizard Ansalom. 'You've killed my Hounds!' And he leaps to his feet, hands outstretched, muttering a savage spell.

Are you ready for this, Pip? The Wizard Ansalom has 150 LIFE POINTS. You want that again? 150 LIFE POINTS. What's more, he is equipped with 10 Firefinger Lightning Bolts exactly like the ones Merlin gave you. (With one important difference: Ansalom's Lightning Bolts do not hit their target automatically. You must roll dice each time he uses one. Unless he scores 5 or better, the bolt misses you.)

Yep, those are Final Boss stats all right :v:

Section 137 posted:

Let the magical battle commence, Pip. And may the best Wizard win!

If the Wizard Ansalom kills you, go to 14.
If you kill the Wizard Ansalom, lick your wounds and go to 135.

Pip's initiative roll: 5 + 3 = 8.
The Wizard Ansalom's initiative roll: 4 + 3 = 7.

Fireball Away! 3 + 6 = 9, the Wizard Ansalom is fireballed for 75 LIFE POINTS and is down to 75.
The Wizard Ansalom casts Lightning Bolt! 6 + 6 = 12, Pip is thunderstruck and down to 26 LIFE POINTS.
Fireball Away! 3 + 5 = 8, the Wizard Ansalom is fireballed to death.

If this seems anticlimactic (and it was), it's because we had both our Fireballs left and we managed to hit him with both of them.

I'll come right out and say it: the balance in this books sucks. If you reach the Final Boss with all your magic left you can win easily, if you have no magic left you don't have a snowball's chance in hell (good luck chipping away at those one hundred and fifty LIFE POINTS with just your sword, while he flings magic at you).

Anyway, we finally did it! We managed to kill that pig-stealing, crop-blighting, moat-drying, all-around nuisance, wicked Wizard Ansalom! :woop:

Let's go to 135 and see what awaits us next.

Section 135 posted:

As you stand triumphant in the mayhem of the shattered Throne Room, a small sound behind the throne attracts your attention. You investigate. Nothing there. But that was definitely a noise. You examine the wall. No need for an experienced adventurer and Wizard slayer like yourself to roll dice this time: you find a secret door! As the granite slab slides back, you know for certain the steps downwards can only lead to one place - the prison where the wicked Wizard (now defunct) was holding brave Queen Guinevere.

You've done it, Pip. You've succeeded in your mission. You're a first-class, five-star adventurer. Now turn to page 167.

Note: page, because we're done with sections.

Epilogue posted:

PIP TRIUMPHANT

A raven, wheeling high above the cornfields to the south of Glastonbury Tor, started at the sudden eruption of banners from the towers of Camelot. The King's insignia was there; and the battle standard of the Table Round; and the colours of every major earl, duke and knight. The national flags of Wessex and Sussex and Essex were there and even a Roman standard (no longer taking any real pride of place since Arthur sent the Romans packing). But most important of all, the Queen's own golden pennant was there, flying higher even than the King's insignia. That would have been very strange in any other circumstances, but even the meanest, rudest peasant knew what it meant now ... and rejoiced.



The raven, which, in the manner of its kind, had been on a search for grains, turned at the sight and flew strongly north to circle over Camelot itself.

What a sight below! There had never been such a bustle, such excitement. In the castle itself, there was a full turn-out of the Guard, armour polished to mirror brightness and every man standing rigid as a statue at his post. Around them, servants scurried to and fro like ants, a constant stream into and out of the main banquet hall in obvious preparation for a feast: and a great feast at that, to judge from the foodstuffs and wines that were being carried in.

There was, too, considerable activity at the lists, as if the fields were being prepared for a joust, or even a full tournament. The stands were being decorated with streamers and bunting, the great horses were being led from the stables and gently exercised before receiving their padded accoutrements and trappings. Squires were busily polishing lances and maces and swords as if the very future of the realm depended on their
brightness.

From somewhere deep within the castle, muffled and distorted by the thickness of the walls, strange sounds rose up like animals in pain, clear indication that the minstrels were tuning up their instruments in preparation for some form of grand musical entertainment. Lutes, flutes, harps and bandores competed with the bells and drums of the percussion section in a cacophony that did not sound as if it would ever achieve harmony.

And while all this was going on in Camelot itself, there was even greater activity on the approach road to the castle. A vast crowd lined the edges for nearly half a mile, kept off the road itself only by the constant attention of harassed stewards running hither and thon to push back a craning farmer, a curious goodwife, or shoo away the herds of urchins who danced through the legs of their elders on to the forbidden path.

At the main gates, the drawbridge had been lowered, the portcullis raised. Two lines of trumpeters, dressed in their gayest raiment, were at attention, their instruments half raised and gleaming golden in the sunshine, by the approach.

On the drawbridge itself, resplendent in full armour, the great sword Excalibur at his side, seated upon a magnificent dappled charger, was the broad, brown-bearded figure of the King. Ranged behind him, row upon row, in full dress armour, visors raised, plumes dancing in the breeze, was the full complement of Knights of the Order of the Table Round, tense, joyous, expectation written on every face.

Suddenly, distantly, the crowd began to cheer, a sound that swelled and grew and did not stop, but rolled closer and still closer like a great sea wave. The King moved forward and, forgetting royal dignity, half stood in his stirrups, the better to see.

A convoy of Cardinals, robed in the Roman purple, emerged from the castle to take their places by the King's side; and behind them the brown-robed, bare-footed monks from the Abbey.

The cheering grew louder, closer. As if in response to some hidden signal, the trumpeters raised their instruments to their lips. And waited. The cheer became a roar, a wild exuberance, a joyous call to the deep blue skies of heaven. The fanfare began, brassily unnerving even the great war horses by its volume. King Arthur's patience broke and he urged his mount forward.

At that instant, around the last bend of the approach road, there came Queen Guinevere herself, a trifle bedraggled, to be sure, but proud and upright, seated on the back of a nervous, prancing pony. And leading that pony was a small, slight figure dressed in a jerkin of dragonhide and carrying a broadsword which, but for its size, might have been a mirror image of the King's own.

'Guinevere!' the crowd roared. 'Guinevere!' And then, as if at some secret, hidden signal: 'Pip! Pip! Pip!'

As if startled by the sudden tumult, the raven wheeled away abruptly and flew south again to land eventually on a rocky outcrop near a cave mouth in a cliff beside the shoreline. There it waited, preening itself occasionally and keeping a wary eye out for hawks.

Soon, along the shingle path towards the cave mouth, there approached an extremely beautiful young woman with long hair, black as jet, and the walk of an aristocrat. The raven watched her beadily, bobbing its head and hopping, but making no attempt to fly away.

She stopped. 'Are you there, my darling?' she called out to no one in particular. Then, guided by some instinct, she turned towards the raven. 'Is that you?'



The raven strutted, stretched, then metamorphosed. 'It's me, m'dear,' said Merlin, now standing in the raven's place. 'Me. Yes. Yes, indeed.' And he embraced the young woman, kissing her with far more fire than was decent for a man of his advancing years.

'Well,' said the young woman when she had finally extricated herself. 'Have you been to Camelot?'

'Yes,' said Merlin. 'Yes, indeed. I watched the Queen's return before I flew here to see you. Quite an occasion. Banners, fanfares, cheering crowds — much as you'd expect. Not every day the Queen is rescued. No. No, indeed. I think they're planning a tournament. I suppose I'll have to get back for that.'

'So your protege performed well?' the dark-haired woman asked.

'Pip?' asked Merlin. 'Yes, Pip performed very well. Yes. Yes, indeed.'

But what about Pip? Was he rewarded for his deeds?

Epilogue posted:

What a day, Pip! What a truly magnificent, glorious day ! And what an adventure ! Notice how everyone treats you differently now, since you rescued the Queen? You're somebody now, Pip. Somebody important.

The cart rumbles slowly down the rutted roadway that leads to the farm of Freeman John and Goodwife Mary. A new cart too, hardly touched by the dust and mud of the journey; a cart given you by King Arthur himself, along with the sturdy pony that's pulling it.

There was the offer of a great deal more from the King - gold, honours, even a place at the Table Round itself, despite your age. But all you asked for was that cart and a horse to pull it. They thought you were a little crazy when you said that was all you wanted. They didn't understand your natural modesty, Pip. Nor the fact you needed a cart to carry all the booty you nicked from the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle. What are your adopted parents going to say when you appear with this lot, eh?

20,000 Gold Pieces.
18,000 Silver Pieces.
Emeralds worth 12,500 Gold Pieces.
Rubies worth 12,200 Gold Pieces.
Diamonds worth 77,000 Gold Pieces. (Less any Bribes, ofcourse.)

:signings:

Epilogue posted:

Not to mention several other odds and ends you managed to pick up along the way. Enough there to buy a whole new farm. Ten whole new farms! Won't they be surprised? You'll be there in an hour and won't they be amazed?

The sun hangs low in the sky as your pony trundles onwards. What a day! What a glorious day!

'Pip...'

That voice sounds familiar.

'Pip ... Excuse me, Pip ...'

Good grief, it's Mean Jake! You remember - the boy who was always picking fights with you in the market. It seems like another age now. All the same, you drop your hand casually to the hilt of old Excalibur Junior. You're battle-hardened now, so no sense in taking chances.

Oh hey, it's this jerk again.

Epilogue posted:

But Mean Jake, standing by the roadside, has his cap off and is screwing it up in his hands nervously. You rein in the pony, watching him warily.

'Excuse me, Pip ...' he says, 'I know you're very busy and all, but...' Screw, screw at the cap. '...I heard what you done — about rescuing the Queen and getting rid of the Wizard Ansalom and all — and 1 just wanted to say I'm sorry for all the . . . well, all the trouble I gave you and I was wondering... well, if we might be... well, friends, you know ...'

And he looks so miserable and hangdog (and you're feeling so good,-Pip) that you smile and say magnanimously, 'Of course. Mean Jake! Hop up on the cart and you can come home with me for tea. There may even be fresh scones!'

'Thank you, Pip. Thank you!' And Mean Jake climbs up excitedly on the cart and sits proudly beside you as you shake the reins to tell the pony to move along.

You sit silent, lost in your own thoughts of the great adventure while Mean Jake prattles on, trying to ingratiate himself with you, until you are suddenly jerked back to reality when the pony halts abruptly. A tree branch has fallen across the road, blocking it completely.

'Look at that,' says Mean Jake. 'We'll never move it.'

'Yes, we will,' you say confidently. After the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle a little thing like a tree branch isn't going to hold up Pip. With just the slightest swagger, you climb down from the cart and, taking a deep breath, you drag that old tree branch off into the undergrowth with a single, massive effort.

There you are!' you say, as you emerge, brushing your hands together briskly. 'Nothing to ... it...'

But you are talking to yourself. Mean Jake has gone. And so has your pony, cart and treasure! The road is empty. Not a soul about, except a bedraggled-looking blackbird of some description, watching you from a tree branch.

Mean Jake! :argh:

Epilogue posted:

'I'll kill him!' you roar, half drawing Excalibur Junior in your anger.

Tut, tut,' says the blackbird. 'Such temper.' It flutters down from the branch and struts towards you fearlessly before metamorphosing into the familiar form of Merlin, who stares at you as if he could read your very thoughts. Which apparently he can, for he says, 'Yes it's me, Pip. Yes, indeed. And that wasn't a blackbird - it was a raven. I never change into blackbirds. Never. They always seem obsessed by people's noses. Ravens are
different. Noble birds, ravens - more in keeping with a Magician of my stature. Easier to talk when you're a raven too. Blackbirds haven't the vocal chords for it.'

He seats himself on a nearby tree stump. 'Well, now,' he says, regarding you closely. 'Lost your treasure, have you? And the horse and cart the King gave you! Very careless. Very careless indeed. Especially to a thieving young haggis like Mean Jake. Should have known better after all you've been through.'

You hang your head a little shamefacedly. Because after all, you were showing off just a little when you climbed down from the cart.

'Yes,' says Merlin, as if still reading your thoughts. 'You were. Showing off. Yes. Yes, indeed. Not very proper behaviour for a Magician's Apprentice. Never find me showing off. But then I don't need to: everybody knows
what a wise, handsome, noble and powerful person I am.'

He crosses one spindly leg over the other and falls off the tree stump. He picks himself up, mumbling crossly and plucking twigs from the folds of his robe. 'Sit down,' he says, indicating a second stump. 'And sit still. Don't fidget. I have something to tell you.'

So you sit (still) and wait (without fidgeting).

'I have good news and bad news for you, Pip,' Merlin tells you. 'Your adventure is over. Done. Finished. Successfully concluded. That's the bad news. You have to return to your own time now. (Which may be bad news or may not.) Don't worry about Pip - Pip's body, that is. I'll take care of it. It can walk back to the farm and nobody will know the difference. And don't make faces. I took care of Pip's body for years before you borrowed it, and I can take good care of it again.

Now the good news. The good news is that I am well pleased with what you did, Pip. I was just saying as much to my girl — to a young lady of my acquaintance not more than a few hours ago. Ansalom was a pest. The realm is well rid of him. And all credit to you for doing the job. Yes. Yes, indeed. It isn't often you find somebody with your talent, you know Pip. Somebody who can come into another time the way you did. That takes imagination. And you have it.

So I'll be calling on you again to take over Pip's body. Oh, yes. Yes, indeed. Avalon needs souls with your talent and your courage, so I'll be asking you to come back and take part in new adventures. Maybe even more dangerous than the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle. But you won't mind that, will you?

And you will come back, won't you?'


Thanks for reading, everyone! With that, Pip's first adventure has been concluded, but this LP isn't done yet: before moving on to the next book, I'll show you all the little odds and ends that we have missed during our runthrough of this book; and there are quite a few. So watch this space!

Mikl fucked around with this message at 20:39 on May 2, 2015

Zoe
Jan 19, 2007
Hair Elf
Okay that was bullshit.

inflatablefish
Oct 24, 2010
I was kinda hoping we'd get to use the duck on Ansalom.

Oh well. That was a fun book!

Aithon
Jan 3, 2014

Every puzzle has an answer.
Wow. Yeah, that's bullshit, especially since fireballs can miss.

That's right. If we used a "silly thing" wand, could we have thrown those two fireballs without rolling for hit? Except rolling to hit with the wand, I mean.

Aithon fucked around with this message at 20:49 on May 2, 2015

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Aithon posted:

Wow. Yeah, that's bullshit, especially since fireballs can miss.

That's right. If we used a "silly thing" wand, could we have thrown those two fireballs without rolling for hit? Except rolling to hit with the wand, I mean.

Literal reading of the rules says no, but you could interpret it that way.

Funny thing: I had intended to use the "silly thing" wand first thing during the fight with Ansalom but I... forgot to do so :negative:

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
What if we had made different decisions?

Way back at the start of the adventure, near the ruined abbey, we met a menacing figure clad in a jet-black suit of armour. We chose to talk to him, and he turned out to be King Pellinore, stuck in the woods thanks to his terrible sense of direction. What if we had chosen to attack him?

Section 17 posted:

'Stand aside! Have at you! Gadzooks!' (and other threatening expressions) you roar as you draw Excalibur Junior and fling yourself on the Black Knight, who promptly falls down on his back.

Don't kill him, Pip - that isn't Chivalry. Just hold your sword to his throat and insist he removes his helmet. Which he does, revealing a round, florid face, not at all as fearsome and threatening as it might be.

'You fool!' he gasps. 'I might have killed you! Don't you know who I am?'

'The Black Knight?' you ask curiously, although in truth you have your doubts about that now.

'Nonsense!' he roars. 'I'm King Pellinore. Off to teach the Wizard Ansalom a lesson, if I can only find my way through this blooming forest, what?' With which he picks himself up, dusts himself off and bids you farewell, mounting a sorry-looking horse tethered at the back of the ruin and plunging into the forest to disappear quickly through the trees.

If you search carefully, you will find a half-hidden path out of the clearing. This takes you by a circuitous route to 22.

Fake choice! Except for some flavour text, the result is the same.

---

When we met the Wolf, we offered him some sandwiches and he let us go our way unmolested. But we also had the choice to either fight him, or run away.

If we had chosen to run away, we would have gone to section 11:

Section 11 posted:

The Wolf is after you, running hell for leather! To find out whether it catches you, roll one die. Score 1, 2, or 3 and it's on you. Score 4, 5 or 6 and you make good your escape by running up the path that leads to 10.

What happens if the Wolf catches you? Sorry, Pip, it eats you. Better turn to 14 to find out what happens next.

This turns into a "make the roll or die" situation. If we had chosen to fight him instead:

Section 21 posted:

Brave Pip! You draw your faithful sword, Excalibur Junior, which, don't forget, gives you + 5 damage on the beast if you hit.

'Hello,' mumbles EJ (for Merlin did say it talked occasionally), 'fighting wolves, are we? That's pretty dangerous at your age, isn't it? Never mind - let's get on with it.'

And before you realise what is happening, Excalibur Junior is tugging at your hand, swinging it in a wide arc and in the process giving you the first blow! What a clever sword.

Now get the dice rolling. The Wolf is a fairly tough customer, with 20 LIFE POINTS. Each time he strikes you successfully, his fangs rip out damage shown on the roll + 3. Your dragonskin jerkin isn't much good here since he will attack your arms, legs and throat, which are not protected, so you'll suffer full damage. Good luck,
Pip, and may the best fighter win!

If the Wolf kills you, turn to 14.
If you kill the Wolf, or render it unconscious, you choose whether to:
1 . Go back and take the path to 20.
2. Go on and take the new right-hand path, which leads to 10.
3. Go on and take the new left-hand path, which leads to 22.

This Section is the first time we could have seen E.J. talking. Also to note, this is a really tough fight, it's surprising it was this early in the book.

---

In the first courtyard there were a bunch of crates and barrels, and we could choose to drink cider or wine. We chose cider, and a good choice it was, because...

Section 16 posted:

The wine tastes funny. This is because it's poisoned. Roll two dice to see how it affects you.

Score 1 — 6 and writhe in agony before dropping stone dead. Go to 14.

Score 7-12 and you get sick as a parrot, losing half your current LIFE POINTS. Stagger back to 32 and reconsider your options.

Who keeps poisoned wine just lying around like that? Besides hags, I mean?

---

In the second courtyard, we managed to make friends with a Skeleton, who pointed us to the trapdoor leading to the underground. If we hadn't made the roll, however...

Section 47 posted:

Friendly, my foot! Who ever heard of a friendly animated Skeleton! That Skeleton is an evil old bag of bones and it's out to tear you limb from limb. Out with Excalibur Junior, Pip.

'What's this?' says EJ sleepily, having been suddenly awakened from a nap in the scabbard. 'Fighting skeletons now? Hey ho, why can't you make friends with somebody for a change?'

'Who ever heard of a friendly animated Skeleton!' you shriek in exasperation. 'Have a bit of sense, EJ!'

'Did you win the first dice roll?' EJ asks, more to the point. 'Can I hack at him first?'

Roll dice for the Skeleton and yourself. Highest score gets first strike. The Skeleton is in a funny position in that it hasn't any LIFE POINTS (what did you expect from a Skeleton?) so the only way you can kill it is to roil a straight 10 or 11 or 12 on two dice. Nothing else counts.

If you do manage to kill the Skeleton, go to 139.
If you don't and it kills you (which it may well do, even though it has no weapon and only scores damage indicated by the dice) go to 14.

There is a mistake in the book here! The correct Section it should be pointing us to is 131, which then leads us to 139, like so:

Section 131 posted:

With the Skeleton no more than a pile of bones now, you have an opportunity to examine the whipping post it was tied to. It's a pretty ordinary whipping post except for one thing: it seems to be a bit loose. In fact, if you tug it sideways, it might even come right up.

You can always leave the silly thing alone, of course; in which case you should simply return to 33 and reconsider your options.
But if you decide to try to uproot the post, go to 139.

Section 139 posted:

The post doesn't uproot. But it does move sideways with a funny noise like the grinding of gears beneath your feet! A trapdoor has opened up under you! You're falling, Pip. You're falling!

Go to 36

And we're down in the underground yet again. Interesting to note: if we'd fallen down this way, the ladder up would have led to the second courtyard instead of the first, because Section 36 doesn't specify which Section to go to when you climb it, it simply says "the courtyard above".

---

In the Spider Pit, we made friends with a Spider. And we were lucky to make friends too, since if we hadn't...

Section 64 posted:

Nothing for it but a fight, whatever EJ thinks. The Spider has 33 LIFE POINTS, strikes on a roll of 4 or better and scores + 3 damage. Worse still, it really is poisonous, so every third time it hits you, you need to see if the poison gets you. Roll two dice again. Unless you score 6 or better, you're dead from Spider venom.

If the Spider kills you, go to 14.
If you kill the Spider, go to 80.

...we would have faced one of the toughest fight in the game: besides being a tough fight, every third time we're hit we have to roll to see if we die from poison. To hazard a guess, it's the third-most bullshit fight in the gamebook, right behind the Deadly Poisonous Snake and the Vampire, but at least fighting the Spider isn't mandatory (if you can make the Friendly Reaction roll, that is).

---

In the wicked Wizard Ansalom's magical workroom there was a magic circle, which we ignored. Good job! Stepping into it is really dangerous!

Section 144 posted:

You're not going to believe this, Pip, but you've just triggered the second biggest nasty in the Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle. There is an Invisible Demon in the circle!

This thing (which would look really scaley and slimey and fanged and homed and tailed and vicious if you could see it) has 40 LIFE POINTS. It always gets the first strike; being invisible. It tears bits out of you at + 5 damage and its skin is so tough you automatically deduct 4 from any damage scored against it. What's more, it's very hard to hit, being invisible, so you need to roll at least an 8 or better to make contact.

No point in trying to make friends. It's fight or run!

If you decide to run, go to 121.
If you decide to fight, stay right here and fight!
If the Demon kills you, go to 14.
If you somehow miraculously manage to kill the Demon, go to 129.

This is the second toughest fight in the book besides the Wizard Ansalom himself. Running is no good, too:

Section 121 posted:

You run, as if the devil himself were after you. (And though he isn't, an Invisible Demon is certainly the next best thing.)

THWAP! That's the noise you made running into the edge of the circle, Pip. It seems that while you can step in easily enough, getting out is a bit more difficult. Hurriedly you feel your way around the invisible wall. No way out of the circle and the Demon is getting closer.

Return to 144 and make a fight of it.

So if you activate the trap you have to fight your way out, no choice about it.

Next, we're going to explore the sections of the castle we didn't look at!

Mikl fucked around with this message at 21:35 on May 2, 2015

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
Heh, that was definitely an ending :)

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
Exploring the wicked Wizard Ansalom's Dark Castle

At the first decision point inside the Castle proper, we could have searched for a secret door. If we had...

Section 99 ***B posted:

Trouble, Pip! While you were searching for that secret door, a Guard crept up on you. In the circumstances, he has the first strike.

The Guard has 20 LIFE POINTS, wears -2 leather armour and carries a + 2 sword. What's much worse, he is a particularly skilled swordsman, so only needs to roll a 3 or better to hit you!

If the Guard kills you, go to 14.
If you manage to kill the Guard go to 150.

Ambush! If we survive that, we can keep seraching:

Section 150 posted:

Another baddie bites the dust! You're doing rather well at the moment, Pip.

If you want to continue searching for a secret door, go to 134.
If not, return to 107 and reconsider your options.

Section 134 posted:

Perseverance is a very worthwhile characteristic in an adventurer. Roll dice.

Score 4 or more and go to 143.
Score less than 4 and you find nothing. Go to 107 and reconsider your options.

If we make this throw (rather easy), we find the secret room!

Section 143 posted:

You just got lucky, Pip - you've found the Wizard Ansalom's Treasure Room. And what a find! Just look at it. Gold, silver and gems galore. A king's ransom here. Old Ansalom must have been thieving for years to amass this lot. There's even a pen in one comer full of honking pigs.

If you take time to count, you will find:
20,000 Gold Pieces.
18,000 Silver Pieces.
25 emeralds, each worth 500 Gold Pieces.
61 rubies, each worth 200 Gold Pieces.
77 diamonds, each worth 1,000 Gold Pieces.
18 pigs, each worth about 3 Silver Pieces.

One of these things is not like the others...
The Wizard Ansalom seems to have a thing for pigs. Remember from the introduction: 'Please, sire, the Wizard Ansalom's stolen my pig.' :laugh:

Section 143 posted:

What a find! And it's yours if you can kill the Wizard Ansalom. Nobody will begrudge it to you, since you earned it fair and square. (Except the pigs, of course, which will have to go back to their rightful owners.) You can take all the gems now and about 500 of the Gold Pieces - no more, gold is heavy - or you can come back later for the lot after you've put paid to Ansalom.

Either way, return to 107 before deciding where to go next.

---

But searching for hidden doors is boring, let's go west instead!

Section 105 posted:

The corridor runs west for thirty metres and ends in a door. At fifteen metres there is a second door in the north wall.

If you decide to try the door in the north wall, go to 89.

If you decide to go on quietly and try the door at the end of the corridor, go to 85.

The door at the end of the corridor doesn't lead anywhere useful:

Section 85 posted:

Busy, busy - it's the kitchens. Cooks and skivvies racing about all over the place making a great bustle but not doing very much. Fortunately they're all so busy being busy, nobody notices you've opened the door. No sense in making trouble. Retreat quietly and return to 107 to reconsider your options.

Though maybe we could have taken some garlic from inside here.

If we open the north door instead:

Section 89 **B (Each) posted:

Yipes! It's a Guard Room! Jam-packed with about a hundred hairy great Guards. They're sitting around playing dice, drinking ale and sharpening their swords. What a nasty-looking lot. You'd never have a prayer of surviving a fight with this bunch, Pip. Better check to find out if they noticed you opening their door.

Roll two dice.

Score 7 or more and go to 145.
Score below 7 and go to 140.

Better hope we make this throw! If you roll above 7, they don't notice and we can slowly close the door and walk way. If not, well...

Section 140 posted:

his isn't looking too good, Pip. They've seen you all right. And they're moving fast! They're up and on you like an avalanche! There's nothing you can do. You draw old EJ and fight like a demon, but there are just too many of them . . .

Guess what? You're right.
Go to 14.

---

If instead we go all the way east, down the steps, we reach... the dungeons.

Section 130 posted:

You follow the corridor quietly eastwards, noting that this one is rather more dimly lit than the others. The wall torches have been replaced by only a very few lamps. And when you reach the steps downwards, you can see there are fewer still below.

At the bottom of the steps is a stout door, the top half of which comprises bars through which emerges a dull red glow. The door has a huge lock. It also has a Guard. Fortunately a very tired Guard, since he is asleep at his post.

Looks like you've discovered the dungeons, Pip; or possibly some horrible torture chamber. Is Ansalom keeping the Queen locked away here? Who can tell?

If you decide to try your luck at stealing the Guard's keys and opening the dungeon, go to 124.

Otherwise return to any available Section you haven't already explored.

Stealing the key requires a roll: if we don't make it we have to fight Guard (who, rather amusingly, is a bit groggy from sleeping and so hits only on an 8 or higher, and has shoddy armour which doesn't protect very well), but the end result is the same: we get the key and open the door, and then...

Section 125 posted:

It's a dungeon all right; and a torture chamber. Just look at the shackles on the walls. And the Iron Maiden - that big coffin-shaped cabinet with iron spikes inside the door. And the rack for stretching people. And the branding irons in the charcoal brazier.

The Wizard Ansalom could do somebody a lot of damage in here. Fortunately there is no one to do damage to. No wonder the Guard was asleep - no tough job guarding an empty dungeon.

There is no other exit from this room.

Better go back to 96 and reconsider your options.

No one's here. That was disappointing.

---

Finally, that one door in the Vampire Guard Room which we didn't open, making a beeline for the Wizard Ansalom's door instead, hides...

Section 136 posted:

You are looking into a large chamber set out with rows of bunk beds, each one of which has a small wooden locker placed by the side. Obviously a dormitory, Pip. And empty.

Better try the northern door by going to 127.

...absolutely nothing, and we get pointed to the north door.

---

And that's it! That, literally, is all he wrote.

I'll leave the thread open so you can discuss the book, and I'll link the LP for the next book here when I'll start it.

I hope to see you next time, as we delve into... the Den of Dragons.

See you then!

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
It was a fun ride. I'll look forward to the next one!

Ratatozsk
Mar 6, 2007

Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...
Have you considered simply running this single thread through the whole series and linking the individual books in the OP? If you get viewers joining on when you're a few books deeper in, then they don't run the risk of losing the initial books into archives. You can even ask a mod to update the thread title for each book or for the whole series. Just a thought.

Regarding the last book, aren't there a few amusing dreams that we didn't hit? I can't recall if they reuse those in the subsequent books or if they wrote new ones each time.

idonotlikepeas
May 29, 2010

This reasoning is possible for forums user idonotlikepeas!
The style of writing on these really is unique. I dig it.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Ratatozsk posted:

Have you considered simply running this single thread through the whole series and linking the individual books in the OP? If you get viewers joining on when you're a few books deeper in, then they don't run the risk of losing the initial books into archives. You can even ask a mod to update the thread title for each book or for the whole series. Just a thought.

Regarding the last book, aren't there a few amusing dreams that we didn't hit? I can't recall if they reuse those in the subsequent books or if they wrote new ones each time.

That is a good idea, and I'll do so.

Also, you're right regarding the Dreamtime, it was quite late at night and it slipped my mind. I shall remediate that right now!

---

The only time we entered the Dreamtime, we ended up in Section 5, and I mentioned that's the second-worst possible Section to end in. Let's see what the other sections have to offer!

Dreamtime Section 2 posted:

You are facing a small, cigar-shaped flying creature which dives at you incessantly. Although it does not touch you, each pass causes a ripple to pass over your brain with the automatic loss of 5 LIFE POINTS. The creature is a Brain Teaser. It has 15 LIFE POINTS and strikes first. Fight quickly !

This one is simple: a straight-up fight, with the distinction that the enemy hits automatically and always does the same damage. Not too bad, you just need some decent luck with the dice to survive this.

Dreamtime Section 3 posted:

You are being chased through a graveyard by a Vampire. If the ghastly creature catches you, you die! Already your legs are turning to jelly. Will you escape? Roll the Vampire's
STRENGTH using two dice. Then roll your own STRENGTH, again using two dice. Compare STRENGTHS. If the Vampire has scored more than 5 points higher than you, he will catch you ...

This one is the worst possible section to end in. It's no more and no less than "make saving throw. Didn't make it? Too bad, you die." At least other Sections give you multiple chances, this one gives just one.

Dreamtime Section 4 posted:

You are in the empty Banquet Hall of a strange and rather beautiful castle. On the table before you are two chalices, one of crystal, the other of bronze. One contains wine, the other poison, but you have no way of telling which is which and you must drink from one of the chalices. Test your LUCK now by rolling two dice. A score above 6 indicates that you are lucky enough to choose the correct chalice. A score of 6 or below indicates that you have drunk the poison, in which case roll two more dice and subtract the total from your present LIFE POINTS.

Another "make the save" check, but at least this one doesn't straight-up kill you right away. (Although it might well do so via LIFE POINT depletion, since usually you get into the Dreamtime only when you have little precious few life points left...)

We've seen 5, so moving on to 6!

Dreamtime Section 6 posted:

You are walking in a beautiful walled garden enjoying the summer sunshine when you are attacked by a swarm of bees. Each bee sting costs you 1 LIFE POINT. Roll one die to discover how many bees actually manage to sting you.

Not too bad. You can't escape taking damage, but at least it's in the 1-6 range.

Dreamtime Section 7 posted:

One of Merlin's spells has gone badly wrong and turned you into a stick of celery. You are now growing quietly in a vegetable patch. It is not such a bad life since you have cabbages and cauliflowers to talk to, but Merlin's goat has broken through the fence and is munching his way towards you. Roll one die to discover if he Ukes celery. Score below 6 and he will nibble away 5 LIFE POINTS before passing on to eat all Merlin's carrots.

:laugh:

Again, not too bad. You can only take 5 LIFE POINTS worth of damage, and you can make a save to avoiding that.

Dreamtime Section 8 posted:

You are jousting with the Black Knight, a fearsome villain with 25 LIFE POINTS. You are wearing armour which deducts 5 from any damage scored against you. His armour is
better and deducts 6 from damage scored against him. The lance used by the Black Knight adds 10 to any damage he scores in the joust. Your lance, however, has been blessed by the Archbishop of Canterbury and adds 12 to any damage you score. King Arthur roils two dice to decide who will strike the first blow. If he scores 2-6, then the Black Knight goes first. If he scores 7-12 then you will go first.

Another straight-up fight, this time against King Pellinore the Black Knight.

Dreamtime Section 9 posted:

You are in a gloomy corridor facing a large, hairy Sleep Monster. You have no weapons or armour, but nearby are two caskets. You have time to open only one of them before the Sleep Monster attacks. Roll one die. Score 1 - 3 and you find a magical dagger which dispatches the Sleep Monster instantly. Score 4-6 and the casket you open is full of sleep gas. This means you must Sleep again and make new rolls to find out if you are headed for the Dreamtime.

It's quite possible to be stuck in a loop. A dream within a dream within a dream...

Dreamtime Section 10 posted:

You are hunting boar in the forest and are armed with a bow and seven arrows. Each arrow scores a straight 10 points of damage if it hits, and you require to throw better than 6 on two dice in order to hit. You enter a clearing and discover a huge Ogre about to eat a comely maiden. You have time to fire all seven arrows before the ogre can possibly reach you. The Ogre has 40 LIFE POINTS and is so strong he scores +15 damage with the huge club he carries. You have seven chances to kill him before he reaches you and (because he is slow) one additional chance to finish
him off with your bare hands before he thumps you with his club.

Yet another straight-up fight, but this one gives you several chances to chip away at the enemy's LIFE POINTS before starting to slug it out. This is probably the section you're most likely not to take damage after Section 9, provided the dice are good to you.

Dreamtime Section 11 posted:

Following a disagreement with King Arthur about whether or not the world is flat, you have been cast without food or water into a deep, dark dungeon. How long you remain there depends on the results of your next die roll. For each point scored up to a maximum of 6 you remain one day - and lose 1 LIFE POINT - before the King relents.

But which one of you said the world is flat? You or the King?

Dreamtime Section 12 posted:

You are on a high mountain top engaged in a magical battle with an evil Sorcerer who has occupied the top of a neighbouring mountain. In this battle you hurl gigantic waves of magical blue fire at one another. So long as both of you hurls a wave, the magic neutralises and no damage is done. But sooner or later one of you is going to run out of waves. Roll one die to find out how many waves the enemy Sorcerer has left and one die to find out how many you have left. The one with the most waves reduces the opponent's LIFE POINTS to half their current total and wins the battle.

Another "make the roll" dream, but this one at least isn't "make the roll or die" but rather "make the roll and take half of your LIFE POINTS as damage."


That's it! Thanks again for reading, I'll update this thread when I'm ready to start with book 2, the Den of Dragons. Until then!

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Man, dreams are dangerous.

So we lost EJ and the jerkin, or is anything we're carrying save from ol' Mean Jake?

gbuchold
Oct 7, 2007

We feel free because we lack the very language to articulate our unfreedom.
Pillbug
I only ever had Den of Dragons when I was a kid, and I'm so angry you jerks died and lost that silver ring. I don't remember what it does in the next book, but I remember some section asking you if you have the "tinglering". I would appreciate it if, after the next book, you could tell us what it would have been used for :)

I read that book so much I remember what section the entrance to town is ("A blink. A flicker. You're in the village, Pip."), what riddle the Fiend asks (and its answer), and which house in town leads to the section with 3 lines, each ending "by Jove!"
...I hope the goons go to that house.

Also, I'm pretty sure those are the same Dreamtime options that Den of Dragons has.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
Let's get going then!

Welcome back to this let's play, everyone! As a bit of introduction on my part, you will have quite a bit more things to do in this book as opposed to the previous one. You'll see why shortly. For now, here are some :words:, because this book is every bit as longwinded as the Castle of Darkness.

So without further ado, Let's Get Burnt to a Crisp in...




Introduction posted:

MERLIN

Hallo? Hallo? Is anybody there? Can you hear me? Can you read me?

I'm speaking into a seashell. A conch shell to be exact. Four knights and a Sergeant-at-Arms think I've gone bonkers, but they know nothing about magic. No. No, indeed. When you're a Wizard like me, you can use a conch shell like a telephone (which is just as well, since telephones haven't been invented in my Time).

Hallo? Is there anybody at the other end of my conch shell? This is Camelot calling. Are you receiving me? You. Yes, YOU! The one sitting there reading that 'Grailquest' book. It's part of my magic, that book. Yes, indeed. And a very important part.

You are reading a SPELL - did you know that? I wrote it myself and sent it forward through Time in the shape of a book. It's a net spell. It catches your mind as you read the book. Nets it like a fish, I hope. Then I draw in the net, and next thing you know you're in my Time. Your mind is, anyway: your body stays more or less where it is.

You'd like to visit my Time, wouldn't you? It's full of interesting things. Knights. Squires. Jousting. Quests. That sort of thing. It's the Time of King Arthur - the Time of Camelot and the Table Round. Or Round Table as people insist on calling it - wrongly.

I want you to visit my Time. I need you to visit my Time: there's a bit of a problem with dragons. Just a small thing - you'll sort it out in no time. You'll find it easy to visit. Just carry on reading this book - that's all there is to it. Turn a few pages and the spell will start to work. That isn't too hard, is it?

Nearly forgot. When you arrive you'll find you've become Pip, the adopted child of a Freeman farmer called John, and his wife Miriam. Pip's been leading a fairly quiet kind of life recently, but all that's about to change.

You'll need to bring dice with you. Ordinary six-sided dice, preferably with spots. You'll need one at least, though two would be better. You'll also need a bit of paper, something to write with, and an eraser. That's the equipment you'll need to get you started. Just go off and collect it now, before you do anything else. Then you can begin.

Welcome back, Merlin! It's like we never left. But what was that about a bit of a problem with dragons?

Introduction, part 2 posted:

THE THREATH
TO AVALON




There was always trouble when it rained in August. The first two weeks especially. Old residenters would look up at the leaden sky and mumble grimly, 'Rain in August the first week, next year's outlook will be bleak.' And anyone who happened to overhear them would be prone to adding the second half of the ancient saw: 'And if the rain continues on, all hope of peaceful times is gone.'

Well, it had rained the first week of August last year. And the second. And the third. And the fourth. In fact it was still raining well into September, by which time everybody was thoroughly sick of listening to the old residenters mumbling grimly to themselves. Everybody was thoroughly nervous as well. A wet start to August meant a good breeding season for dragons, which in turn meant a plague of the fire-breathers when they reached maturity the next year. The Knights of the Round Table would do their bit in killlng off the pests, of course, but when there was a really good breeding season there were never enough knights to go round. So the dragons rampaged something shocking, setting thatch alight, devouring cattle, terrorising villages and carrying off maidens.

But that wasn't the only thing. Last August - the August we've been talking about - there were Omens as well as rain. At least, the old residenters claimed they were Omens. Lightning blasted the Druid oak on Glastonbury Common twice in succession during a particularly violent storm.



'Everybody knows lightning never strikes twice in the same place,' muttered the old residenters grimly. 'That be an Omen, that be.'

Then there was the business with the gravedigger who managed to bury himself in an open grave. When the funeral procession arrived with the coffin, there was no neat hole for it to go in; only a slight indentation filled with loose earth and beneath it the unfortunate gravedigger, now as dead as his former clients. The inquest decided it was an accident, a landslip brought on by all the rain. But the old residenters were far from satisfied.

'Old Silas would never have made a mistake like that,' they muttered grimly, referring to the late gravedigger. 'That be an Omen, that be.'

And so it went on throughout the rainy month of August. A massive thunderstone ploughed a deep furrow through Farmer Gabriel's meadow and killed five of his sheep. A two-headed calf was bom in the herd that kept the Abbey monks supplied with milk. King Arthur's favourite falcon slipped its tie and flew off southwards, never to be seen again.

And for once it turned out that the old residenters were absolutely right. The following year was absolutely dreadful. Fresh, vigorous young dragons popping up all over the Realm, with new ones appearing as fast as the harassed knights could kill the old ones off. But that wasn't the worst of it. The plague of dragons could be easily enough explained by the good breeding season occasioned by the rainy August. The Omens pointed towards something else. The old residenters waited patiently, nodding their heads grimly at each new report of dragon damage. 'That bein't the worst to come,' they would say. 'Not by a long chalk.'

The worst to come came in June, on a cloudless day that promised a long, dry summer. On the morning of that day, a carriage emblazoned with ecclesiastical insignia thundered (unannounced) up to the gates of Camelot with quite unecclesiastical indications of haste, and there emerged from it, demanding immediate audience with the King, a portly messenger from His Eminence the Archbishop of Canterbury. He was admitted at once, of course, and despite a tendency towards pomposity, managed to capture King Arthur's attention with the very first words he spoke. The words were: 'Your Majesty, a Brass Dragon has escaped from Hell.'

Now this was not, of course, precisely true. Brass Dragons were extremely rare in Avalon - or anywhere else for that matter - and there was considerable controversy about their origins. Churchmen generally believed they were bred in Hell itself and said so dogmatically whenever the subject arose in conversation. But the infernal
origins of Brass Dragons had never been satisfactorily proven and there was a body of opinion which held the beasts came from somewhere else. The truth was, no one quite knew for sure. (Not even the old residenters, who thought they knew everything.) What everyone did know was that Brass Dragons were very bad news indeed.

A word about dragons generally may not go amiss here, since not everyone is personally familiar with the breed. Your average run-of-the-mill dragon - the sort that mates in August if it's raining - is a grey- skinned, scaled and ridged-backed reptile weighing somewhere around six tons and growing to a length of five metres. There are two main species - those that move on four feet and are fully equipped with claws, and those which move mainly by means of their two hind legs and use their shortened front legs rather like arms. The latter type, which are generally more intelligent, have claws only on the hind feet. The forefeet have developed into hands of a sort.

Both species are aggressive, vicious, and extremely difficult to kill on account of their heavy scaling which acts as natural armour. Both are meat-eaters, which accounts for the devoured cattle and probably the missing maidens. And both share the curious habit of consuming foliage from chestnut trees during the first hour and
fifteen minutes after sunrise. The business with the chestnut leaves has nothing to do with hunger. Leaves consumed at this time do not travel down the normal digestive tract (which does not open until two hours after sleep) but go instead into a second stomach set forward and a little below that which the reptile uses to digest
food. Here, in this second stomach, the leaves are converted into sedimentary layers of humus which, encouraged by the dragon's body heat, gives off vast quantities of methane gas.

Methane, as you probably know, is highly inflammable. What you may not know is that once a dragon is four months old, it develops crystalline extrusions on its upper fangs and a thin layer of natural metallic capping on the lower. The result of these developments is that when the dragon snaps its jaws together sharply, it produces a spark. This spark will normally ignite the almost continuous flow of methane from the second stomach, producing the fiery dragon breath which is such a distinctive feature of the breed.

Huh. The more you know.

Introduction, part 2 posted:

All in all, dragons are very formidable creatures. But Brass Dragons make ordinary dragons look like pussycats. There have only been five authenticated appearances of Brass Dragons in the
whole of recorded human history: two in Asia, one in Europe, one in Spain and one which turned up in Londinium before the Romans left. In every instance, the destruction wrought was massive. Three-quarters of Londiniurm was demolished or ravaged by fire, and seventeen of the very finest Roman Legions completely wiped out before the beast stupidly consumed the entire stock of an ale-house and drowned after falling drunkenly into the Thames.

While the natural history of the ordinary dragon is relatively well known, no one really has the least idea where Brass Dragons come from, what laws govem their abrupt appearance, or how to get rid of them when they do appear. Typically, a Brass Dragon will turn up out of the blue, run riot for several months or years, then simply disappear. (The Drowned Dragon of Londiniurn was unusual in the way it met its fate.) No one ever succeeded in killing one, neither knight nor commoner. One reason for this noteworthy failure is that there is every indication Brass Dragons may be magic. No wonder the Church considered they escaped from Hell.

'A Brass Dragon?' gasped King Arthur.



'Escaped from Hell,' confirmed the Archbishop's messenger grimly.

At which the pent-up tensions of the Court exploded abruptly and everybody began to talk at once, swoon, scream, run and otherwise react to the news. It was pandemonium. King Arthur had to wait for order to be restored before he heard the whole story.

First off, there was absolutely no doubt about the monster really being a Brass Dragon. Although rare, the species was quite unmistakable. For a start, they grow more than twice the size of ordinary dragons and their colour, far from grey, is a metallic brass, which glints and sparkles in the sunshine. Then there was the magic. Brass Dragons have generally been credited with all sorts of wonders, including the power of speech. No one had heard this particular Brass Dragon talk yet and its wonders were so far confined to the 'now you see it, now your don't' variety, appearing and disappearing without anybody knowing where it came from or where it went to. But this was more than enough to estabhsh that it was magic.

The first reported sighting of the beast was near a forest close by Winchester, where it was apparently amusing itself by demolishing a woodsman's hut. The artisan who saw it had drink taken, so his story was given less credence than it might, even though the wreckage of the hut was plainly there for all to see.

The creature next turned up briefly in Cornwall (although how King Arthur, who had relatives in Cornwall, missed hearing about it was a mystery). Several fishermen, pulling out in pursuit of the day's catch, noticed it clinging to a cliff face. Since they were sober men, as sailors have to be, their word was believed, although a party of men-at-arms sent to investigate could discover not a hint of anything on or near the cliff.

There was what might have been a third manifestation far to the north where something (although no one could say exactly what) had torn huge holes in the remains of Hadrian's Wall, that vast rampart left by the Romans to keep the greedy Scots from marching south to sell the English whisky.

But the worst of it was the attack on Ceme Abbas Monastery, that ancient seat of learning overlooked by a very rude picture of a giant carved into a hillside in prehistoric times. It was from that very hillside that the Brass Dragon had approached. The survivors claimed it was as large as a castle, with eyes the size of soup plates and a flaming breath more than a hundred metres long. The ground shook with every step it took. Its roar was like thunder. And so on. All greatly exaggerated, no doubt, as these things tend to be, but the fact remained that Cerne Abbas Monastery was no more. The stonework was demolished as if struck down by an army of battering rams. The woodwork was burned to a cinder. All the tapestries, rush matting, curtaining and a priceless library of books, manuscripts and scrolls went up in smoke. The Abbot was burned to death trying to save a relic of the True Cross from the monastery chapel. One hundred and seventy-eight monks were trapped beneath the fallen rubble. Herds of cattle and sheep lay dead and mangled in the monastery fields. Even the kitchen garden at the back was buried under a pile of evil- smelling manure which, unlike normal manure, killed off plants rather than encouraged their growth.

Out of this whole disaster, only two young monks escaped with their lives. (They had been sent off on a ten mile hike as penance for talking in Chapel, which just goes to show it doesn't pay to be good all the time.) And the only artifact that was saved was a stained-glass window depicting the Holy Grail. Since this should certainly have been broken, its survival was seen as confirmation that the destruction was the Devil's work - the Devil being unable to harm anything as holy as the Holy Grail.

This was a catastrophe of almost unimaginable proportions and there was no doubt a Brass Dragon had been involved. Although the two young monks saw nothing of it, the creature's rampage had been witnessed (at a safe distance) by no fewer than eighty pilgrims from Londinium who were travelling to Ceme Abbas to view the
same relic which had been the death of the Abbot.

When news reached the Archbishop who was usually the last to be told anything due to his fiery temper, it produced a predictable reaction. His language was so extreme that one churchwarden was heard to remark he would personally have preferred to face the dragon any day. But sharp tempers are quick to abate and the Archbishop was no fool. He realised that if a Brass Dragon was on the loose, something had to be done about it - and quickly. Thus, when he had regained control of himself, he dispatched a messenger to Camelot: the same messenger who now related the whole sorry tale to King Arthur. And the King, who was one of those firmly convinced Brass Dragons were magical by nature, in turn dispatched a messenger of his own. That messenger was instructed to find the Wizard Merlin.

Oh. So this is the problem. Well then. Join me next post, where we see what we can do about it!

Mikl fucked around with this message at 10:13 on Jun 7, 2015

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Introduction, part 3 posted:

IN MERLIN'S
CRYSTAL CAVE




You open your eyes groggily. Light flickers and flashes in mad patterns as if you had fallen into a giant kaleidoscope. Colours shimmer and dance, blending into delicate traceries and patterns. Your right cheek stings as if someone had been slapping it.

'Come on. Come on. No time to waste.'

A white-bearded old man is leaning over you, his pointed hat askew. Behind him, the dancing colours form a rainbow halo.

'What. . . ? ' you ask, stupidly.

'Come on, Pip,' the white-bearded man says crossly. 'Just pull yourself together. And don't pretend you don't recognise me. You do. Or you will. Merlin. Got that? Merlin. Say, "Merlin".'

'Merlin...' you echo, frowning.

'That's it - Merlin. Good. Fine. We're making progress. And you're Pip.' He points a bony finger at his chest. 'Me Merlin. You Pip.'



'Me Pip. You Merlin,' you repeat, feeling a bit of a fool. You sit up. You are in the strangest place you have ever seen: a vast cavern of pure crystal. Crystal stalagmites rise up from the floor. Crystal stalactites hang down from the roof. The walls are rough, unworked outcrops of crystal. The roof is crystal. The floor is crystal. You have been lying on a large, rectangular slab: that too is crystal. The cavern is well ht by torches - how many torches you could not begin to guess, for each one reflects and reflects again in the crystal, making it impossible to count. You turn your head slowly. Portions of the natural crystal have been worked and cut into shapes: there are crystal tables, crystal benches, even what looks suspiciously like a crystal throne on a crystal dais. Even the cabinets and chests are crystal, so their contents can be seen easily within them.

'Merlin?' you say again. 'Is it you?'

'Yes, yes,' Merlin mutters impatiently. 'Quite definitely me and in grave danger of having my pension docked. Dreadful business. Are you properly awake?'

You nod, dumbly, still three-quarter ways entranced by your surroundings.

Merlin catches your look. 'My crystal cave,' he explains. 'Interesting, isn't it? Very few people have even been here, you know, except for me. Very few. I brought Atilla the Hun once, but he broke some of the furniture. So I don't do much entertaining here now. It's mainly used for magic. The crystal focuses earth energies, you know, and that makes magic easier. Now, are you properly awake?'

You nod again; properly awake or not, you are still quite confused.

'Well,' says Merlin, 'now you're here, I'd better tell you what the trouble is. A Brass Dragon. That's what the trouble is. Wiped out an entire monastery, monks and all. Probably deserved it, of course. Can't stand monks myself - always creeping around in cloisters instead of doing anything useful. But the Archbishop was annoyed
and the King wants to keep on the right side of him, so my pension will be docked unless we do something about it. Unless you do something about it, that is, Pip. Definitely a job for a fighter this. Somebody who knows about getting rid of Brass Dragons. You do know about getting rid of them, don't you?'

You shake your head. 'No.'

'Never mind, you soon will. The trick with Brass Dragons is to kill them before they kill you. That's all there is to it really. Except for closing the Gateway, of course.'

'Gateway?' That was you again, thoroughly confused.

'Gateway,' Merlin says. 'You aren't one of these idiots who think Brass Dragons come from Hell, are you?'

'No,' you say warily; although in truth you haven't the faintest idea where Brass Dragons come from.

'Good,' says Merlin. 'Because they don't. They come from the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead. Every one of them. Yes, indeed. Without exception. The Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead is what you might call their natural habitat. And a very nasty natural habitat it is; but that's a different story. So when you find a Brass Dragon wandering round Avalon - or anywhere else on Earth for that matter — it follows that one of the Gateways to the Ghastly Kingdom must be open. Otherwise the dragon couldn't have got out, could it? So we - you, that is - must kill the dragon, then close the Gateway. Nothing else for it. If we - you - leave the Gateway open, heaven knows what else might get out. Brass Dragons aren't the worst you'll find in the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead: that's why they call it "ghastly". So off you go now and get this mess cleared up. I'll trot off to Camelot and tell the King that everything's in hand.'

'Just a minute!' you protest.

Merlin holds up one skinny hand. 'You're right. You're right. You need LIFE POINTS. Can't do much in my Time without them, can you? No, indeed. Right. Now, roll your dice. Two dice once, or one die twice. Doesn't matter which.'

You roll the dice while Merlin watches with a gimlet eye.

Roll: 4 and 1. Crud.

Introduction, part 3 posted:

'Now add the scores together,' he tells you. 'You won't get less than 2 and you can't get more than 12. That's the way it is with LIFE POINTS. With your LIFE POINTS anyway. Now multiply your answer by 4,' Merlin says. That's your LIFE POINTS. Write them down. Quickly, now.'

20 LIFE POINTS? That's pretty bad...

Introduction, part 3 posted:

He looks around him furtively, as if he might be worried somebody was listening, then leans forward and whispers something in your ear: 'If you don't think you have enough, do the whole
thing again. You can do it three times, if you want, and pick the best score. But not more than three times. More than that interferes with the spell and we don't want that, do we? Not when my pension's at stake.'

Oh, alright.

Roll: 3 + 5 = 8
Roll: 4 + 3 = 7

So 32 LIFE POINTS. Better than 20 for sure.

Introduction, part 3 posted:

Merlin straightens up and goes on much more loudly. 'Now, fighting. There's going to be a lot of fighting, I'm afraid. But at least it's not as painful as fighting in your own world. You just roll dice, for you and your opponent. Quite easy, really. Two dice each time. Look - I'll make it simple for you.'

'First, you roll dice to see who has the first strike. Roll for your opponent, then for yourself. Highest score gets first hit. You always do that unless surprise comes into it. And if it does, you'll be told at the time, so that's all right.'

'Next, you roll two dice each time a strike is made. If you're rolling for your strike, you have to roll a 6 or better, otherwise you've missed. When you're rolling for your opponent, you'll be told what he, she or it needs to hit you. If it isn't mentioned, take it that they need a 6 as well. Anything you roll above the strike figure counts as damage. Damage is subtracted from your (or your opponent's) LIFE POINTS.'

A bit different than the first book, right here. In the Castle of Darkness rolling a 6 was an outright miss, here it's a hit. Doesn't really make a difference, because a 6 is a hit for zero damage, but still. Also, it clarifies how damage is calculated: it's not one LIFE POINT for each number above 6 you roll, it's one LIFE POINTS for each number above the strike figure. This is important because...

Introduction, part 3 posted:

That's how you fight. At least that's how it goes with a fist fight. If you're using weapons, you do more damage. If you're wearing armour, it cuts down on damage. And since you'll be using this, you'll generally only need a 4 or better to hit somebody...'

This turns out to be something rather interesting. Merlin takes a wooden case from beneath one of the crystal tables and opens it carefully. Inside is the most beautifully made little sword you have ever seen...

If you have read The Castle of Darkness turn to 1. If not, go to 2.

Well, let's go to 1!

Section 1 posted:

'EJ!' you gasp. 'You've kept EJ!'

'Hallo, Pip,' says Excalibur Junior, the talking sword which accompanied you on your adventure through The Castle of Darkness and played such a sterling part in doing down the wicked Wizard Ansalom.

EJ's reappearance is good news indeed, for it means you will only need to throw a 4 on two dice to hit an enemy, when you're using him. What's more, EJ scores an additional 5 points of damage above what the dice shows each time he strikes successfully. (The bad news is, of course, that he talks too much, but you're just going to have to put up with that as you did last time!)

While you're reminiscing with EJ, Merlin takes something else out of the box - the neat dragonskin jacket you wore in your last adventure: the one that subtracts 4 points from any damage scored against you. These are two very important items, Pip. They could mean the difference between life and death on an adventure.

Now go to 3.

Section 3 posted:

If you have previously adventured through The Castle of Darkness you may have picked up some useful items there. You are allowed to bring these with you now, but only if you actually found them in the Castle, and only if you still had them when you completed that adventure. The following list will remind you about the items which were hidden in the Castle of Darkness. And no cheating, otherwise you'll break the spell!

1. Luckstone. This allows you to add, or subtract, 3 points to or from any dice roll you may make.

2. Double-headed copper coin. This is useful if you find yourself in a gambling game since it allows you to cheat like mad and win every toss. How many gambling games you're likely to get into in this adventure is quite another matter, but you never know . . .

3. The Tinglering the Zombie wore. So far nobody has quite figured out what a Tinglering actually does, but it certainly seems to be magic, so it may be worth taking.

4. The Globule Wand from Ansalom's Laboratory. This fires a luminous green glob which messes up an enemy so completely you can hit him four times before he gets a chance to hit back. Roll one die to find out how many globs are in the wand for the present adventure.

5. The magic duck given you by the Poetic Fiend. This little wooden duck will switch off any magic being used against you (or around you for that matter) so that, for example, a Fireball would fizzle out, or an invisible creature become visible. You can use the duck once only during any adventure.

6. Scroll of Healing. This is a spell which, when read aloud, will restore you to full LIFE POINTS. May be used once only during an adventure.

7. Scroll of Teleportation. This spell will take you back instantly to any Section you have previously visited. May be used once only during an adventure.

8. Scroll of Death. This spell will kill anything - including you! You read it and throw two dice. If you score a double 6, a double 3 or a double 1, you're dead. Score anything else and the spell kills your opponent, however powerful he, she or it may be.

NOTE: Items 6, 7 and 8 may only be taken if they were not used in the Castle of Darkness.

9. Scroll of Hypnotism. You must throw a 5 or better on two dice for this spell to work. If it does, your opponent will fall into a trance and you can safely ignore him. Does not work on dragons, unfortunately.

10. Scroll of Poison Antidote. Can be used to cure yourself of poisoning.

11. The Crystal Ball in Ansalom's Laboratory is now broken. You can take it with you if you like, but it won't work.

12. If you had any Firefinger Bolts or Fireballs remaining after your last adventure these may be added to the ones available to you through your spells in this adventure. They work a bit differently this time though, as you'll discover.

13. You may take up to 10 PERMANENT LIFE points earned in The Castle of Darkness and add them to your total in this adventure.

Now go to 4.

Of these, the only things we have is the Globule Wand and five Firefinger Bolts. For the globule wand I'm going to cheat a bit and not roll: since we had five globules left at the end of the previous book, we'll have five globules here.

Section 4 posted:

'Is that it?' you ask frowning.

'No,' says Merlin. 'No, indeed. Mustn't be impatient. Sometimes you'll find that a creature isn't as evil as it looks and that it doesn't want to fight you. To find out, roll one die once for your opponent and one die three times for yourself. If you score less than your enemy, he has given you a Friendly Reaction and you can continue on your way.

'If it all gets too much for you, you can try getting some LIFE POINTS back by Sleeping (you can do this any time except when actually in battle). It's not quite as simple as it sounds though. Roll one die. If you get a 1, 2, 3, or 4 you must turn to Dreamtime at the back of the book, where you might lose even more LIFE POINTS. If you get a 5 or 6 you have slept successfully and can get back two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS. It's a bit of
a gamble, really. But generally you'll be far too busy fighting to sleep. So you'll need your equipment and weapons -'

'And magic,' you say quickly, wondering what you are getting yourself into.

'- and magic. Won't get far against a Brass Dragon without magic. Right. Take this.' And from the depths of his robe (a powder-blue robe, not his usual white one) he pulls out a scroll, which he hands you.

You unroll the scroll which, like most of Merlin's scrolls, is written on excellent quality parchment, but marred by blots. Although you may have hoped it to be a magical scroll, it is not; however it does have your name on it.

You look up at Merlin, frowning. 'What's this?'

He seems embarrassed and does not meet your eye. 'Your shopping list. Just a few items you might need.'



'But why does it have the cost beside each one?'

Merlin coughs. 'I'm afraid you're going to have to buy your gear. Since the King docked my pension, I can't afford to equip you. So you'll have to buy your own.'

'But I don't have any money!' you protest.

That is quite true,' Merlin agrees. 'And it might be a real problem if I hadn't foreseen it.' He opens a small crystal cabinet and takes from it two transparent cubes which, on closer inspection, you see to be dice. 'Magic dice,' he explains shortly. They convert enthusiasm into money. Can't use them myself since I haven't much
enthusiasm left after the King docked my pension. But a young person like yourself should have lots of enthusiasm.' He hands you the dice. Throw them firmly on to the ground.'

There's nothing else for it but to throw the dice, Pip. As you do so, they explode in a silent flash of golden light. But just before the explosion, you could see the score. Roll your own dice to find out
what it was. Every point scored represents a Gold Piece. And 1 Gold Piece is equal to 10 Silver Pieces. Looks as though you may be able to afford some equipment after all.

Roll: 3 + 5 = 8, so 8 Gold Pieces, 80 Silver Pieces.

Section 4 posted:

Merlin coughs again. 'Weapons too. And armour, if you want it' He produces a second scroll. "Fraid weapons and armour are quite expensive these days...'



You look at the two parchment lists, then look at Merlin with a distinctly sinking feeling. This is going to be some costly mission. What you must now do, Pip, is spend your money wisely to equip yourself for the adventure to follow. Remember, all prices on the lists are given in Silver Pieces and there are 10 Silver Pieces to 1 Gold Piece.

Take a little time to decide what you might need. Obviously a weapon of some sort is a high priority for those times when EJ is uncoooperative, or a different weapon is more suitable than a sword. You can't use more than one weapon at a time though. If your LIFE POINTS are low, it might be worthwhile investing in some armour, although it is very costly and buying some means you will have little or nothing left for other necessities. If you have adventured through The Castle of Darkness and have the magical dragonskin jacket, you can put armour on top and have extra protection.

Nice!

Section 4 posted:

Don't forget you may have to travel a long way to find this rampaging Brass Dragon, so a supply of food might be a good idea unless you plan to live off the land. But it's entirely up to you what you decide to buy: just so long as you have the gold to cover it. Write down the things you're taking on your Quest Journal and remember that if it isn't on your list during the adventure, then you can't use it. If you have any money left over, write that down too. Money can come in very handy on a long joumey.

Well now,' says Merlin, 'all set, look you. Bach?' (Lapsing into his native Welsh in his impatience to get you going so he can reclaim his pension.)

'I think so,' you say uncertainly. 'Except that I don't really know where to go ... '

Don't worry about that,' Merlin says. 'I've been following up that stupid monster on my crystal ball and I know where it's hiding out. Dragon Cavern. Quite obvious, really. Most of them hide out in Dragon Cavem between bouts of pillaging and so forth. The place is full of dragons of one sort and another. And maidens, of course. But only one Brass Dragon, which is the one you want, so don't waste your time hacking at the other dragons. Unless they attack you, which they probably will.'

'I don't know how to get to Dragon Cavem,' you protest.

'Not to worry,' Merlin says cheerfully. 'I'll draw you a map.'

'You said you'd teach me magic,' you say bluntly.

'Magic!' Merlin cries, striking his forehead a resounding blow. 'Yes, magic. Of course. Good thing for you I remembered. You won't last long in the Dragon Cavem without a bit of magic'

Stumbling on the hem of his powder-blue robe, he half runs (in his impatience) to a crystal bookshelf from which he takes down a huge, leather bound tome entitled

MAGIC FOR BEGINNERS

He begins to thumb through it hurriedly. 'Sit still,' he says. 'Don't fidget. Got something to write with? Good. Then write this down:

RULES OF MAGIC

Rule 1. Every spell you try to cast will cost you 3 LIFE POINTS whether it works or not!

Rule 2. No spell can be thrown more than three times in any adventure. Once thrown, it is used up whether successful or not.

Rule 3. No spell works at all unless you score 7 or more with a throw of two dice.

You nod, busily writing down the Rules of Magic. They seem simple enough, except for one thing. 'But I don't know any spells,' you say.

'Of course you don't! Wouldn't have to learn them if you did. I'm going to give you a book of spells. Not this one, don't worry - too heavy to carry. A little one that will fit into your backpack. Just a few spells, a very few spells, but well chosen. You can have a quick look through it before you start off, if you like.'


And this is how magic works in this book. Quite a bit different from the first one.

Section 4 posted:

That's it,' says Merlin. 'That's your magic. That's your spells. You can use each one three times only. Unless you find another copy, of course. That sometimes happens during an adventure, so keep your eyes peeled. Not much to magic, really, so long as you remember the basic rule. Never use a spell when you're nearly dead, otherwise the loss of LIFE POINTS will kill you. Make your roll to find out if the spell worked. If it didn't, it didn't and there's nothing you can do about it, unless you want to try again. But not more than three times. A spell thrown is used whether it works or not. Precious things, spells. That's why you don't
find many Wizards about. It's a very frustrating profession, fraught with all sorts of trials, tribulations and dangers - like getting your pension docked.

'You're nearly ready to leave now, Pip. But first I must teU you about Experience. Every time you fight a battle or solve a puzzle you will gain 1 EXPERIENCE POINT. 20 of these make 1 PERMANENT LIFE POINT which can be added to your existing LIFE POINTS - even if this brings them higher than they were to start with. You can take up to 10 PERMANENT LIFE POINTS into future adventures and add them to the LIFE POINTS you roll up.'

And here he withdraws a parchment scroll (stained with age or possibly tea and displaying the famliiar blots) from the sleeve of his robe.

'Finally,' he says. 'Your map. This is a copy of a very rare and ancient map which I made myself. The copy, that is, not the ancient map. Don't lose it, otherwise you won't know where to go, will you? It shows you how to get to Dragon Cavern. Not many people know how to get there. In fact, I think I may be the only one. But now you'll know the secret too. Prepare for your trip carefully, so far as you can afford to. Then follow the map. Once you're in Dragon Cavern, I'm afraid you'll have to fend for yourself. Nobody's ever managed to map it, so you'll have to make your own way once you're in there. But use this map to get you there. Off you go, now.'

And Merlin, who (for all his bumbling and foolishness) is still the greatest Wizard in Avalon, waves his arms in a magical gesture. Slowly, but with an awesome inevitability, both he and the crystal cave begin to fade completely away...

Something is nudging you in the back, Pip. You turn and find yourself staring into the soulful brown eyes of Wandering Wanda, your favourite cow in the small herd now owned by your adopted parents. Freeman John and Goodwife Mary. And if this is a Wandering Wanda, then the pasture in which you are now standing must be the back field of the farm on which you live. How on earth did you get here? Only Merlin could say. But as you glance down at your feet, you find the various items of equipment you decided to spend your gold on in the crystal cave. More to the point, clasped in your hot little hand is a tea-stained scroll on which has been drawn a map.



Isn't that the oddest-looking map you've ever seen in your life? Not at all like the maps they plaster all over the walls in Geography class. Just dotted lines that might be roads (or might not). And section numbers. How did Merlin know where you'd be when you started the map? Not even Merlin - he said it was a copy of an ancient map. How did the ancient mapmaker know where you'd be? Or that Wandering Wanda would be nudging you in the back? Yet there you are, marked with an 'X'. And there's Wanda, large as life. (Well, a bit smaller than life actually.)



Still, it's all he's given you, and the crystal cave has disappeared, so you'd better use it. Simply pick a route and follow it until you come to a numbered section. Then turn directly to that section and find out where you are and what's happening to you.

Don't forget to take your equipment and weapons. (And spells!) You'll notice that the entrance to Dragon Cavern isn't actually marked. Perhaps because it's secret. But it must be there somewhere, maybe in one of those sections. You're just going to have to travel and find out, Pip. Because wherever it is ...

The Adventure begins!

Phew, that was a doozy. As always, for introductions to these books.

You got all that? Good, because I have some homework for all of you!

1. Look at the two shopping lists:



We have 80 Silver Pieces to spend, what shall we spend them on?

2. Look at the map:



Where shall we go first?

Choose wisely, goons!

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 32/32
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 0
INVENTORY:
E.J. (hits on a 4 or higher, +5 damage), dragonskin jacket (-4 damage)
MAGIC:
Pip's First Spellbook, The Wizard Ansalom's Globule Wand (roll 6 or higher on two dice, holds enemy for four rounds, five charges), Firefinger Lightning Bolt x5

inflatablefish
Oct 24, 2010
I think we should get leather armour, a dagger, a food pack, a backpack, a waterbag, some rope, some torches, and five healing potions. I think that's all 80 silver.

Once we've got all that, let's go to Section 155 'cos it's closest and I'm feeling lazy.

Have the rules said what healing potions do this time around?

Carbon dioxide
Oct 9, 2012

Uh, Merlin, if more things can come out of that Gateway, isn't it better to close it first, worry about the dragon later?

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

inflatablefish posted:

Have the rules said what healing potions do this time around?

Nope, if we buy some I'm going to treat them the same as the first book's.

Carbon dioxide posted:

Uh, Merlin, if more things can come out of that Gateway, isn't it better to close it first, worry about the dragon later?

The third book in the series is called The Gatweay of Doom, make of that what you will.

idonotlikepeas
May 29, 2010

This reasoning is possible for forums user idonotlikepeas!

inflatablefish posted:

I think we should get leather armour, a dagger, a food pack, a backpack, a waterbag, some rope, some torches, and five healing potions. I think that's all 80 silver.

Once we've got all that, let's go to Section 155 'cos it's closest and I'm feeling lazy.

The armor is just a straight bonus, since we can wear our jerkin, so that seems good. The book also told us we need a weapon apart from EJ, and a dagger is the cheapest way of doing that, so that makes sense too. (Hopefully EJ will be usable in the majority of encounters, so investing heavily in a non-EJ weapon probably isn't that great an idea. Now that I've said this, we'll lose him in the first section.)

I don't think we need to buy five rounds of potions, though; note that each 3 silver gets us a dozen. We will hopefully not need sixty potions. Let's get two of those (24 potions) instead, and use the other nine silver as follows:

* 6 Sacks: 0.5
* 12 Climbing Spikes: 0.5
* 15m roll of bandages: 0.5
* 1 tinderbox: 0.5
* 1 container of oil: 1
* 12 fish hooks: 1
* 1 carpentry hammer: 1
* 1 blanket: 1
* 1 horn: 3

My reasoning: sacks ought to be useful for a bunch of things, we'll need the spikes as well as rope if we want to climb anything, the bandages might come in handy if we're not allowed to feed healing potion to other people, torches are useless without a tinderbox to light them with, the oil isn't as useful without a lamp but we might want to set something on fire, fish hooks are helpful if we need to fish for food (since our supplies appear to be limited), the blanket will help us sleep since we probably aren't buying a tent, and the fact that three musical instruments are on the list makes me suspicious so we should probably pick one up and the horn is the cheapest.

I'd like to get a bunch of the other stuff, too, but it's hard to know what to prioritize. (Parchment? We might need to write a note? Cooking utensils, but they're expensive... Change of clothes sounds like something the game will bullshit us with...)

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gbuchold
Oct 7, 2007

We feel free because we lack the very language to articulate our unfreedom.
Pillbug
Don't want my memories of this book to skew the wonderful discoveries, by Jove, but I dimly recall there might be an error in the book that has to do with buying another weapon - specifically, a section that asks you to clear an obstacle and seems to have the "use EJ" and "use another weapon" directions mixed up. Miki, do you know what I'm talking about? Or I can keep an eye out for it as we go.

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