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JGKing
Dec 26, 2012

What has happened to this company?!
ORIGINAL THREAD (ARCHIVED) - http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3557386



Where the hell have you been?
It's nice to see you too. Are you ready for some more PPV reviews?

Absolutely not.
What do you mean?

It's been so long we've actually forgotten what's happened.
Don't worry! Here's a recap of the major happenings covered in the original thread (link above). Have a read of it!

No. We don't want to. Frankly you're being quite flippant about this whole thing. We still don't know where you've even be-
On with the show!

quote:

WWF 2000 RECAP

Royal Rumble 2000 - 6/10
The Rock secured the only Rumble win of his career (so far, lol), last eliminating Big Show in a final four which also featured Kane and...erm...X-Pac. Pac was eliminated twice, probably to make sure the fans went home extra happy. Elsewhere on the card, Triple H beat Mick Foley in an ungodly street fight after Pedigreeing him face first into a pile of thumbtacks. Tazz also debuted and squashed Kurt Angle - a wise booking decision, I think we can all agree.

No Way Out 2000 - 7/10
Triple H again defeated Foley, this time in a hell in a cell match with Mick's career on the line. We won't be seeing him any time soon. Ahem. Big Show pinned The Rock (after a hellacious chairshot from Shane McMahon) to secure a place in the 'Mania main event, after proving he should actually have won the Rumble. Seriously. Rock's feet hit first. Everybody called Show a whiner for some reason, even though he had a perfectly legitimate grievance.

WrestleMania 2000 - 5/10
Triple H, Rock, Big Show, and the miraculously un-retired Mick Foley (Linda brought him back for no reason) squared off for the Game's WWF Championship. He retained - becoming the first heel to win a 'Mania main event - after Vince McMahon turned on The Rock. Who saw that coming!? Elsewhere, Edge & Christian, the Hardys and Dudleys attempted to kill one another for our entertainment in a groundbreaking TLC match. Terri and The Kat also put on the worst match of the year, but we don't need to talk about that.

Backlash 2000 - 7/10
The match which should have headlined WrestleMania went down incredibly well, as a slightly podgy Austin returned to help the Rock defeat Triple H, Vince McMahon and friends for the WWF Championship. A plethora of superstars impressed on the undercard, including Edge, Christian, Eddie Guerrero, Scotty 2 Hotty (!), and Essa Rios (!!)

Insurrextion 2000 - 3/10
Most of the roster decided to phone it in on their annual London show, resulting in an awful Pay Per View. The Rock retained his title by beating Triple H and Shane McMahon in a rehash of the Backlash main event (without the excitement of Stone Cold). The British Bulldog made a rare appearance, defeating Crash Holly for the Hardcore Championship - a result which almost certainly had nothing to do with the fact that the show took place in England.

Judgement Day 2000 - 6/10
The thread threatened to tear itself apart over my decision to award the 60-minute ironman main event a score of 0.5/5. I bowed to pressure (and several well-made arguments) and gave it an extra snowflake, but it still sucked, you guys, okay? Triple H regained his title after a 6-5 victory over The Rock, the final fall awarded via DQ due to the interference of the returning Undertaker. In his horrendous biker gimmick. Gah, it was so awful. I hated this main event.

King Of The Ring 2000 - 7/10
Kurt Angle defeated Rikishi in the final of the tournament to become King of the Ring, a deserved reward for his consistently amazing work since debuting in late 1999. The Rock snatched the WWF Championship back from Triple H in a six-man tag, pinning Vince after his fellow babyface partners (Kane and 'Taker) turned on one another. Trips was pissed off, and rightly so. The third member of the heel team was Shane O'Mac, who took a chokeslam from the top rope through an announce table. Idiot.

Fully Loaded 2000 - 9/10
In the words of Dave Grohl, "The best! The best! The best! The best" WWF Pay Per View of 2000. Opinions of former Nirvana drummers aside, this event really was compelling. Chris Benoit made the step up to a PPV main event, almost taking The Rock's title in a screwy finish, before Commissioner Mick Foley restarted the match and allowed the People's Champ to continue his reign. The opening match was an incredibly hard-hitting six-person tag, in which Test had maybe the best performance of his career. You go, Test!

SummerSlam 2000 - 8/10
A second great event in a row saw The Rock retain his belt in a triple threat match with The Game and Kurt Angle. The two heels were warring over Stephanie's affections, allowing the Brahma Bull to steal a pinfall over Triple H after an Angle sledgehammer shot to the head. Well, he hit the People's Elbow first, but let's not pretend it made a difference. The three top tag teams tore each other apart again in another thrilling TLC match, while Benoit and Jericho had a great 2/3 falls bout. They've been feuding this whole time btw.

Unforgiven 2000 - 6/10
The Rock again triumphed in a multi-man title match, seeing off Chris Benoit while Kane and Undertaker got in each another's way once again. Play nicely, boys. Kurt Angle lost to Triple H despite suplexing him from one announce table through the other in a fantastic spot, while Edge & Christian finally lost their titles to The Hardy Boyz in a cage match. This should have been a much better event than it ultimately was, but a series of undercard stinkers weighed it down a lot. Jerry Lawler vs Tazz wasn't the five-star classic we expected, for example.

No Mercy 2000 - 6/10
Kurt Angle delighted smarks and broke the hearts of everyone else by defeating Rocky and taking his WWF Championship, after a bungled run-in from Rikishi. He was attempting to help his fellow Samoan, and enjoyed an eventful PPV after being outed as the man who ran over Stone Cold at Survivor Series 1999. Austin met Rikishi in a no-DQ match...and was disqualified (arrested) by the police for trying to run his opponent over. A month after defeating Angle, Triple H beat another highly-regarded workhorse in the form of Chris Benoit.

Survivor Series 2000 - 4/10
The ageing grandpa of the Big Four PPVs proved to be one of the year's poorer shows. Angle retained his title against Bikertaker, after using his brother as a decoy. Unusual finish; poor match. The main event saw Austin face Triple H in a no-DQ match, because The Game was revealed to be the mastermind behind the plan to run down Stone Cold. Man, Rikishi came out of this whole angle so badly (he lost clean to The Rock on this show, by the way). Austin dropped Triple H and his car from a forklift truck in one of the most ludicrous endings to a PPV ever seen.

Rebellion 2000 - 5/10
Another lacklustre English PPV, saved partially by its decent main event. Angle defeated Rikishi, Rock and Austin to retain the championship - with a little help from the interfering Radicalz. In a big house show-style ending, Rocky and Stone Cold joined forces to kick the poo poo out of the heels after the match. Fun for all the family.

Armageddon 2000 - 5/10
The WWF Championship was successfully defended in a six-man hell in a cell clusterfuck of doom, also featuring Austin, Triple H, Undertaker, Kane and The Rock. Undertaker continued Rikishi's burial by chokeslamming him off the roof of the cell onto a flatbed truck parked on the ramp. Billy Gunn lost the IC belt to Chris Benoit, becuase of course he did. It's Billy Gunn. What was he even doing with a singles title? Edge & Christian won back their tag championships which made me very happy. I love those guys.

The 2000 WWF End Of Year Awards
Match of the Year: WWF Championship Street Fight: Triple H (c) vs Cactus Jack - Royal Rumble
Worst Match of the Year: Cat Fight: Terri vs The Kat - WrestleMania 2000
Feud of the Year: Triple H vs Mick Foley
Spot of the Year: Steve Blackman knocks Shane McMahon off the side of the TitanTron with a kendo stick – SummerSlam
Unsung Hero: Perry Saturn
Pay Per View of the Year: Fully Loaded

Wrestler of the Year: Kurt Angle

quote:

WWF 2001 RECAP (so far)

Royal Rumble 2001 - 8/10
My boys Edge & Christian immediately lost their tag titles to the Dudleys, but the main story here is that Stone Cold won his record third Royal Rumble, last eliminating Kane after smacking the poo poo out of him with a steel chair. That's a fair tactic. Kurt Angle beat Triple H to retain his title, but only after a huge assist from Austin, who was still presumably vengeful for the Game's plan to run him over. Jericho and Benoit tore each other apart in a brutal ladder match, the first bout which convinced me to award a five-star rating.

No Way Out 2001 - 7/10
The Rock finally regained the WWF Championship after bringing Kurt's reign to an end in surprisingly straightforward fashion. It's the People's Champ vs The Texas Rattlesnake at 'Mania! Speaking of Austin, he lost to Triple H on the undercard in a hugely overblown "Three Stages of Hell" match, which was almost certainly a result of the Game's fantasy self-booking. The end was especially priceless, both men collapsing onto one another after an epic three-fall encounter.

WrestleMania X-Seven - 9/10
Stupidly stylised title aside, this is widely regarded as one of the best 'Manias ever - and rightly so. Austin sold his soul to the devil (Vince) in order to screw Rock out of the WWF Championship, thereby bringing an end to the Attitude Era as we knew it. It was a five-star match too. The Hardys, Dudleys, and E&C murdered one another yet again, while Undertaker resumed his undefeated streak after missing 'Mania 2000 with a big victory over Triple H. Other standout moments include Shane McMahon beating his daddy in a street fight, and Kane almost legitimately breaking Raven's legs with a golf buggy.

Backlash 2001 - 5/10
A very poor show (Raven vs Rhyno was Match of the Night, for god's sake) which saw the first appearance of the Two Man Power Trip. Austin and Triple H shockingly put aside their many differences - including trying to literally murder one another on several occasions - to form an unstoppable tag team. WWF Champ Stone Cold and IC Champ Hunter won the tag belts from Kane and the Undertaker, in a match with every title on the line. Huge choke from the Brothers of Destruction.

Insurrextion 2001 - 4/10
Another phoned-in performance in England from much of the roster, with the notable exceptions of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, who had a great 2/3 falls match. The main event saw Austin defend his title against Undertaker and Triple H, with the belt only changing hands in the event of a pinfall on Stone Cold. Undertaker pinned the Game, of course, solidifying himself as the biggest loving idiot in the WWF. He's operating on the same level of stupidity as Victor Krum catching the snitch to end the Quidditch World Cup Final with his team still down on points.

Judgement Day 2001 - 6/10
A good show with a terrible main event, in which Stone Cold defended his title against the Undertaker in an unholy clusterfuck. Run-ins from Vince McMahon and Triple H helped the Rattlesnake walk away with the championship, whereas Kane's run-in happened during the final pinfall. He was running down the ramp as the three was counted. Pyro went off and everything. He enjoyed better luck in his chain match (grr, manly) against Triple H, in which he won the IC Championship. Angle and Benoit had an awesome 2/3 falls match.

King Of The Ring 2001 - 4/10
Edge won the King of the Ring tournament after beating Kurt Angle with the help of Shane McMahon. Shane then proved himself one of the craziest bastards in the WWF, allowing Angle to suplex him through several panes of glass (with mixed success, landing on his neck after a couple of failed efforts). The main event was a largely underwhelming affair, in which Austin defended against Jericho and Benoit. The wrestling world was rocked as WCW Champion Booker T interfered to slam Stone Cold through the announce table, signifying the beginning of the Invasion in earnest. The Rattlesnake was still able to escape with a win however.

We'll kick off the new thread with a look at InVasion, the official beginning of the Alliance's assault upon the WWF.

It's sure to be an excellent, evenly balanced storyline from start to finish.

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JGKing
Dec 26, 2012

What has happened to this company?!
SHOWS REVIEWED

All shows from Royal Rumble 2000 to King Of The Ring 2001 can be found here:
ORIGINAL THREAD (ARCHIVED) - http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3557386

2001 (contd.)
InVasion

JGKing fucked around with this message at 15:41 on Jun 27, 2015

JGKing
Dec 26, 2012

What has happened to this company?!
InVasion - July 22nd 2001 - Cleveland, Ohio


PART 1

Look at the state of that poster.

Yes, it's time for InVasion. Originally billed as Fully Loaded 2001, the show's name was changed to represent the official start of the war between the WWF and invading alliance of WCW and ECW talent. Fully Loaded 2000 was easily one of the best shows of the year, so we'll see if this one can live up to its predecessor's high standards. With a host of incoming talent, we'll at least see some exciting new faces and different styles.

JR and Michael Cole are on commentary. I'm sure we can count on them for some unbiased analysis. Tonight's main event is the 'Inaugural Brawl' match, a five-on-five bout between members of the Alliance and WWF superstars.

Lance Storm and Mike Awesome are in the ring. Storm begins to cut a promo - "If I can be serious for a minute" - but is quickly cut off by the music of their opponents for the event, my BOYS Edge and Christian.

1. Lance Storm and Mike Awesome vs Edge and Christian
Christian appears to be carrying Edge's King of the Ring trophy down to the ring. Weird. JR explains during the opening exchanges that Awesome has already tasted WWF gold within weeks of arrival, capturing the Hardcore Championship. Edge hits a nice headscissors takedown and missile dropkick on Storm; he's looking sharp tonight. Lance gets backdropped over the top rope and Awesome doesn't catch him properly! Yikes, that could have been bad. He avoided landing on his neck though.

Christian uses Edge's back as a platform to launch himself out of the ring, but trips on the top rope and spills over onto the Alliance superstars. Sloppy start here. Back in the ring, Christian looks to come off the top rope, but Awesome interferes from the apron and yanks him crotch-first onto the turnbuckle. Lance shoves him off, and the former tag champ flies face-first into the crowd barrier. Ragdoll bumping, very nice. The heels play face-in-peril with Christian for a while, as Cole explains that Jericho recently branded Lance Storm a Forrest Gump lookalike. Not bad.

Edge has to save Christian from a pinfall twice in quick succession, as Awesome goes to town with an Alabama slam and a ridiculous high-elevation frogsplash. Looking like Bull Buchanan from the top rope (I miss you Bull :(). The former ECW Champion tries a top-rope powerbomb on Christian, but he eats a backdrop to the canvas. Man, Awesome takes bumps in a clumsy way. Edge finally gets the hot tag and goes to work with a spinning heel kick and a few right hands. Storm avoids a sunset flip by grabbing his partner's hands over the top rope, but the ref breaks it up. Lance gets Edge in a small package, but Christian sneakily rolls the pair over with the ref's back turned. He spots the pinfall...but Storm kicks out at the last millisecond!

Christian flies from the top to take out both heels with a double clothesline. Edge charges with a spear - Storm leapfrogs impressively out of the way but Awesome takes the full force of the move. Lance breaks up the ensuing pinfall and this match seems to have stepped up a gear. Christian ducks a superkick and Edge eats it. He looks out. Awesome makes the cover...and Edge kicks out just in time to a big pop! Mike hooks up Edge for the Awesome Bomb (which just seems to be a really dangerous-looking powerbomb), but Christian charges in and spears him out of his boots! Edge lands nastily on Awesome's head, and that's enough for the three count!

Winners: Edge and Christian 2/5 - An exciting closing sequence, but everything else was just there. Decent work from the WWF boys and Storm, but Awesome seemed a little off the pace here.

Vince McMahon is backstage celebrating Edge and Christian's victory, even stating that they "reek of awesomeness". It sounds weird coming from him. Regal comes along and informs Vince that Stone Cold and Debra have just arrived. McMahon hopes "the old Stone Cold" is back, referring to Austin's poorly-received friendly streak in recent weeks. Regal goes off to prepare for his upcoming match against Raven.

2. Nick Patrick vs Earl Hebner - Special Guest Referee Mick Foley
Senior WCW official Nick Patrick has been incredibly biased in recent weeks, angering Hebner and the WWF referees. With William Regal's encouragement, Hebner challenged Patrick to a match here tonight. Foley's the guest referee for some reason, but I'm not complaining. Everybody buckle up. Five stars incoming.

Both men are accompanied by a gaggle of fellow refs, giving this almost a lumberjack match feel. The pair get in each other's face to begin with, Patrick towering over Hebner. Earl takes a slap to the face but charges Patrick into the corner, sticking in a load of boots and sloppy right hands. Patrick's actually a decent seller. They scrap messily on the canvas until Nick shoves Hebner through the ropes to the outside. The two gangs of referees square off over Earl's prone body, but Foley separates them and gets Hebner back in the ring.

Earl hits ten punches in the corner, but Patrick hits a suspiciously low shot to reverse the momentum. He slides with a surprisingly nice dropkick to send Hebner back outside. The WCW refs begin to stomp Ear, but here come the WWF officials! WOAH! One WWF guy just KOd a WCW ref with a diving right hand! That was amazing. I'm not sure who it was, but Lil Naitch didn't want any part of it and got the hell out of there. Foley ejects the WCW officials and Patrick's on his own.

Nick gets in Foley's face but Mick is unmoved. Patrick turns around...right into a ....spear? Right into some sort of standing tackle from Earl Hebner! Good god, that was ugly. 1...2...3! WWF lead 2-0 in the PPV so far!

Winner: Earl Hebner DUD/5 - As competent as Nick Patrick was, Hebner is one of the most awkward movers I've ever seen inside a wrestling ring. This was a waste of space on the card.

Nick shoves Foley around after the bell and takes a Mandible Claw.

We flashback to Smackdown, where DDP locked Austin's wife in the trunk of a car and drove her around the arena. Stone Cold hijacked a limo and gave chase. He didn't look happy.

Back to InVasion, and Debra seems fine - if a little pissed off. She's chatting with Sara, the Undertaker's wife who was stalked by Page last month. DDP's character really hasn't been given a fair shake here, has it? Debra hopes that Steve tears Page limb from limb later tonight, while Sara hopes that "Mark" does the same. Kayfabe is dead. It's dead everybody.

Up next is a match between the WWF Tag Team Champions and their WCW equivalents. The Acolytes have started acting as locker-room leaders, especially to the lowercard members of the roster, getting them pumped up to defend the WWF against the invading forces. The WCW tag champs, Chuck Palumbo and Sean O'Haire, seem to have taken exception to this, jumping the APA from behind on multiple occasions.

3. The Acolytes vs Chuck Palumbo and Sean O'Haire
This has confused me, because I only remember Palumbo teaming with Shawn Stasiak, and O'Haire teaming with Mark Jindrak. I didn't realise they ever teamed with one another. Anyway. The WCW champs waste no time, charging out from the back and kickstarting a brawl immediately. Things eventually make their way to the ring, where O'Haire begins to dominate Bradshaw. Faarooq gets the tag and beats Palumbo around for a while, only for Bradshaw to come back in and catch Chuck with a big fallaway slam.

He sets up the WCW man for a powerbomb, but O'Haire enters the ring and takes his head off with a roundhouse kick! Nice. Palumbo and Bradshaw go at it again, with JR suggesting that Palumbo is maybe the stronger link of his team. I'd disagree. Faarooq gets a very lukewarm tag and goes after Chuck, but O'Haire intervenes with a clothesline from the apron. Faarooq becomes face in peril for a while, but hits his ugly-rear end spinebuster for a double down. Bradshaw gets the tag and boots Palumbo's face off. He scoops him up for a fallaway slam, but O'Haire nails a superkick to send him toppling back for a two count!

O'Haire bearhugs Bradshaw and Palumbo dropkicks him headfirst into the turnbuckle, a fairly innovative spot. Messy superkick from Chuck to Faarooq. CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL FROM BRADSHAW! Oh. Out of nowhere it's over.

Winners: The Acolytes 1/5 - A constipated match with pretty much zero replay value. O'Haire looked okay. Also, surely the WCW guys should have won here. 3-0 to WWF so far.

Jericho and Vince are chatting backstage and seem pretty smug with how things are going so far. McMahon talks about Y2J's involvement in the Inaugural Brawl main event later on. Jericho identifies Paul Heyman as the key figure of the Alliance, saying he's just as ugly mentally as he is physically, and that he'll have spread his psychotic ways to Shane, Steph, and the rest of the invaders. He tells Vince not to worry however, as Team WWF will keep their composure and come out on top. McMahon says that after tonight, the Alliance will "never...EEEEEVER...be the same, again".

In a WCW locker room, Shane, Steph, Heyman and Billy Kidman have been watching Jericho and McMahon's private talk on a monitor of their own. Wrestling logic. Stephanie screams that she hates Chris Jericho and Shane begs her to calm down. They badly need a win to turn the tide of things so far. Shane and Heyman heap pressure on Cruiserweight Champion Kidman and tell him it's all up to him. He's cocky and relaxed. He says he'll show everyone why the crowd always chant "X-Pac sucks".

Abrasive Obelisk
May 2, 2013

I joined th
ROVPACK IN THE HOOUUUUSE!
:vince:
he still knows...
0-3 for WCW already, with 2 matches that they should have won (referee match could have gone either way), and both the Hardcore champion and Tag champions getting pinned. What kind of booking is this?

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames

Abrasive Obelisk posted:

0-3 for WCW already, with 2 matches that they should have won (referee match could have gone either way), and both the Hardcore champion and Tag champions getting pinned. What kind of booking is this?

Post-war booking.

JGKing
Dec 26, 2012

What has happened to this company?!
InVasion - July 22nd 2001


PART 2

WWF Light Heavyweight Champion X-Pac takes on WCW Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman.

4. X-Pac vs Billy Kidman
JR mentions that X-Pac was fired from WCW while healing from a neck injury. X-Pac snatches both belts from the referee and holds them aloft, but Kidman reacts surprisingly calmly. I don't think either title is on the line here by the way. Kidman's receiving more of a babyface reaction despite his Alliance affiliation. He nail a huge headscissors and an enziguri kick to send Pac outside through the ropes. He hits some sort of baseball-slide/bulldog hybrid, and it's pretty cool.

Pac's turn to get some offence now, and he simply hurls Kidman over the top rope before springboarding over with a crossbody. Back in the ring the WWF man gets a two count with his trademark spinning heel kick ("educated feet" says JR, for the 50th time). They exchange sleeper holds and Kidman jacks Pac's jaw with a quick back elbow, before evading a senton and hitting a sitout powerbomb for two. Fast paced, as you'd expect from these guys.

Kidman goes up top for ten punches, but X-Pac reverses into a powerbomb and puts his feet on the ropes! Two count only. Another powerbomb is set up, but Kidman counters into the X-Factor! JR and Cole fail to mention this at all, and Pac kicks out at two. Ah, JR mentions it now. I should never have doubted him. Kidman dives at X-Pac with a flying nothing - my favourite manoeuvre - only to be met with the X-Factor! One, two...he kicks out! PPV resiliency from a midcard WCW heel!? I think the Rock just threw up backstage.

X-Pac sets up for the bronco buster, but Kidman sticks a boot in his crotch as he leaps. He heads up top and nails the Shooting Star Press! It's so pretty, and gets the first win for the Alliance.

Winner: Billy Kidman 2.5/5 - Best match of the night so far. Both guys looked impressive, even if the crowd wasn't too into either of them.

Heyman, Stephanie and Shane celebrate backstage. Page comes along and they remind him to stay focused for the main event tonight. There's a lot of bad acting all round. Heyman wasn't too heavily involved.

Torrie Wilson and Stacy Keibler hype their upcoming match with Trish Stratus and Lita. They talk about how much hotter they are than their opponents. Summary: Torrie says she has a great pair of tits, Stacy says she has a great rear end. They agree with one another. Great.

5. Raven vs William Regal
Regal starts off strong with a bunch of stiff left hands and a double-underhook slam. He does immediately for the Regal Stretch but Raven rolls out of the ring to escape it. It's still all Regal until Raven throws him out of the ring and hits a sliding boot to the face. They battle to the guard rail where Raven hits a Russian legsweep into the barrier! Nice.

The pair get back in the ring and just run through the motions for several minutes. I'm trying to give it a chance, but even the crowd start a "boring" chant. Raven keeps going for the Evenflow DDT (or "Raven Effect", as the announcers call it) but Regal manages to reverse it each time. The Commissioner hits a European uppercut which sends Raven scuttling out of the ring. The ref goes to check on him, and Tazz runs down to interfere! Suplex to Regal! Tazz gets out of there, Raven hits the DDT eventually, and that's all she wrote.

Winner: Raven 1/5 - Dead crowd, slow in-ring action, cheap finish. Not a recipe for success. This was a clash of styles that was never really going to do well.

The Brothers of Destruction and Sara are backstage. Vince comes along to psych Undertaker and Kane up for the Inaugural Brawl later on, but oversteps the line when he reminds 'Taker of DDP's voyeuristic antics involving Sara. Undertaker grabs him by the throat and promises that he'll see the best of him tonight, before storming off. Vince smiles wryly.


6. Big Show, Billy Gunn, and Albert vs Shawn Stasiak, Chris Kanyon, and Hugh Morrus
Kanyon's easily, easily my favourite guy here. The rest don't fill me with confidence at all. On a roster including Angle, Benoit, Jericho and Guerrero, Albert is the reigning Intercontinental Champion. Nice. JR describes the Alliance team as "three young studs". That's 31 year old Stasiak and Kanyon, and 34 year old Morrus. The WWF guys have the size advantage, and demonstrate it from the opening brawl, each scooping up an opponent to hit simultaneous gorilla press slams.

Gunn and Kanyon start things off, Billy hitting a great electric chair drop on the WCW man. Albert comes in and dominates Stasiak with a scissor kick, while something happens on the outside the pops the crowd huge. We'll never know, but it may have involved Big Show. Albert hits a big powerbomb on Stasiak, but the heels rush in to break it up. Morrus tags in and eats a powerslam, before Albert tags in Gunn. He hits the Fameasser on Hugh, but can't go for the pinfall because Kanyon is ready to break it up. The ref tries to get Kanyon out of the ring, so Stasiak sneaks in an hits a very sloppy reverse DDT on Billy. He drapes Morrus' arm over his chest and gets out of there. That's enough for the win.

Winners: Shawn Stasiak, Chris Kanyon, and Hugh Morrus 1/5 - Bleh. Credit to Gunn and Albert, they looked fired up for this one. Nobody else really stood out though, and the finish was pretty horrible. Too short to be truly offensive.

Albert immediately grabs Morrus off the canvas and slings him into a chokeslam from Big Show. Stasiak eats a chokeslam too, before Kanyon gets set up for Show's new finisher. It's terrible, a reverse powerbomb (meaning he just falls backwards with the opponent on his shoulders) called the Alley-Oop. Very poor.

Big Show's music plays, but WCW have tied it up 3-3.

Biosys
Aug 13, 2011
Good to see you doing more reviews, really enjoyed the last thread.

Just from these first 2 parts I can see how the invasion ends up like it does, drat.

JGKing
Dec 26, 2012

What has happened to this company?!

Biosys posted:

Good to see you doing more reviews, really enjoyed the last thread.

Just from these first 2 parts I can see how the invasion ends up like it does, drat.

Thanks man, means a lot.

I can kind of see the dilemma they faced. WCW were so poor in their last year that they left the WWF with uninspiring characters compared to their own roster. I'm not sure what exactly separates O'Haire, Palumbo, Awesome and Morrus beyond the fact that they're all large, angry men, for example.

EDIT: Although you'd expect the creative team to come up with interesting gimmicks and storylines for these new workers, of course - something which could have been handled far better.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
It's WWE's own fault. I can see why negotiations with Goldberg took so long, but DDP should've been a day one contract instead of a weird stalker angle a few months later. He could've anchored WCW with Booker. That said, I can't think of too many more top stars they could've pulled. Flair even came back later that year, didn't he?

Manny Suave
Apr 5, 2011

sticklefifer posted:

It's WWE's own fault. I can see why negotiations with Goldberg took so long, but DDP should've been a day one contract instead of a weird stalker angle a few months later. He could've anchored WCW with Booker. That said, I can't think of too many more top stars they could've pulled. Flair even came back later that year, didn't he?

Yeah, Flair came back the night after the official end of the Invasion at Survivor Series, and then within the next year/year-and-a-half or so they brought in Hogan, Nash, Hall, Steiner, and Goldberg anyway.

The idea was that paying all this outside talent huge money despite them having been "working to destroy the WWF/E" would have put a huge damper on locker room morale, but looking back it seems like a big misstep.

Havoc904
Jul 29, 2006

A school festival is a festival that takes place at our school!

sticklefifer posted:

It's WWE's own fault. I can see why negotiations with Goldberg took so long, but DDP should've been a day one contract instead of a weird stalker angle a few months later. He could've anchored WCW with Booker. That said, I can't think of too many more top stars they could've pulled. Flair even came back later that year, didn't he?

DDP was a day one contract, but it doesn't seem that way since he spent the first 2 months of the Invasion getting slaughtered by Undertaker.

There were plenty of names they could have pulled that were sitting on TimeWarner contracts at the time. Goldberg, Sting, the nWo, Rey Mysterio, Steiner and Flair (to begin the Invasion with).

I think the person that benefited the most was RVD. He really stood out as unique in a sea of mediocrity during the Invasion and the crowd loved him. Had there been more WCW stars, he would have been overshadowed a bit.

81sidewinder
Sep 8, 2014

Buying stocks on the day of the crash
It doesn't matter who they would have signed, it was still going to be a flop no matter what with Vince booking it. He can't fathom some outsider getting serious heat on his guys, so it was never going to work.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames

Havoc904 posted:

DDP was a day one contract, but it doesn't seem that way since he spent the first 2 months of the Invasion getting slaughtered by Undertaker.

Mostly I just mean day one as in "should've main evented that Raw instead of Buff".

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

sticklefifer posted:

Mostly I just mean day one as in "should've main evented that Raw instead of Buff".

DDP vs Booker as the first post-WCW main event would have been a great way to kick things off.

Manny Suave
Apr 5, 2011

81sidewinder posted:

It doesn't matter who they would have signed, it was still going to be a flop no matter what with Vince booking it. He can't fathom some outsider getting serious heat on his guys, so it was never going to work.

Yeah, it became "McMahon Family Drama (oh yeah and some wcw and ecw guys too)" almost-- poo poo, not even "almost," it was immediate.

zetamind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.

Manny Suave posted:

Yeah, it became "McMahon Family Drama (oh yeah and some wcw and ecw guys too)" almost-- poo poo, not even "almost," it was immediate.

A MCMAHON IN EVERY CORNER

Manny Suave
Apr 5, 2011

RZApublican posted:

A MCMAHON IN EVERY CORNER

"It's WWF vs. WCW! Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon! At Wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrestlemaaaaaaaaaaniaaaaaaaaa!"

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
If I'm not mistaken though, had the initial WCW main event not flopped they wanted it to be the rival brand to Raw in the forthcoming brand split. I'm not sure if it would've taken over Smackdown or if it just would've been another show, but they had a roster for at least a 1-hour weekly.

Shane's original idea was to take ECW, put Heyman in charge, and run it as a streaming service. Though in 2001 who knows if that could've worked. I had a cable modem by then and it was good enough for older online games without lag, but even a low quality weekly video stream was risky at the time.

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
Thank you for coming back and continuing this, JGKing. I like reading your recaps and reviews.

Jetfire
Apr 29, 2008

sticklefifer posted:

If I'm not mistaken though, had the initial WCW main event not flopped they wanted it to be the rival brand to Raw in the forthcoming brand split.

IIRC, wasn't it just a boring Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell match in front of a lame crowd? Even if it wasn't good it's kind of disappointing to see that effectively kill the idea. Or did they deliberately book it in an arena they knew wouldn't care about WCW?

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames

Jetfire posted:

IIRC, wasn't it just a boring Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell match in front of a lame crowd? Even if it wasn't good it's kind of disappointing to see that effectively kill the idea. Or did they deliberately book it in an arena they knew wouldn't care about WCW?

They thought Booker/Buff would carry the brand. I don't think Vince ever actually watched WCW.

I am hella PEEVED
Oct 25, 2007

Welcome to Earth.

sticklefifer posted:

They thought Booker/Buff would carry the brand. I don't think Vince ever actually watched WCW.

But Buff is the stuff!

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.
Okay so, the Invasion, the Invasion is the biggest loving mess of an angle to ever happen in the WWE and I defy anyone to find something that lost more money.

Okay so first things first, the plan.

the original plan was to do the brand split, except with WWF Raw vs WCW Nitro on a different channel, There was a problem with this, that being no one wanted to give the WWF a time slow for Nitro. so okay, that didn't work. Vince's second plan, which actually wound up happening as the invasion ended, was he would retreat to Smackdown with the WWF guys and the WCW guys would take over Monday Night Raw, but there was a problem.

1. TNT paid big money for Monday Night Raw, and they didn't want it to be replaced with Nitro.
2. The planned main event/commentary to see Monday Nitro kick off was Booker T vs Buff Bagwell with Arn and someone else on commentary. This match was bad, the crowd shat all over it.

So Vince, from this and whispers of Kevin Dunn and Triple H decided "These motherfuckers can't work!"

Now that's how it is on the political/network side, Now we got to go to the talent.

WWF talent does not want to Job to WCW talent! Because they feel that these guys were trying to put them out of business, and now they were coming in to take their spots. This wasn't helped by Vince giving the WCW guys WCW shirts to wear to create "Real tension" in the locker room, because he always felt it helped a feud. He did this in the past with Bret and Shawn.

So now Vince is convinced WCW wrestlers can't work, his talent doesn't wanna job, and the networks are refusing to budge on him letting Nitro be its own thing, keep in mind, what he wound up doing after the invasion with both "Ric Flair Owner of Raw" and "Brand Split" were basically his original plans for the Invasion, and they were fine plans (minus the lovely NWO)

Basically everything that could go wrong? did.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Onmi posted:

(minus the lovely NWO)

Literally, literally the best things to come out of the WWE-NWO angle were the photoshopped gifs of the Charles Robinson slide ring entrance, over a decade later.

Manny Suave
Apr 5, 2011

Onmi posted:

with Arn and someone else on commentary.

It was Arn and Scott Hudson. What's the consensus on Scott Hudson? I thought he was A-Okay, but it's been years and maybe he was terrible and I was just young.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Memento posted:

Literally, literally the best things to come out of the WWE-NWO angle were the photoshopped gifs of the Charles Robinson slide ring entrance, over a decade later.

Even though there's 6-7 PPVs before any of this is relevant commentary, spoilers anyway:

The WWENWO, much like the Invasion, could have been something special. People were pumped for their debut, the Rock/Hogan angle leading to Hogan's redemption was godlike, and Scott Hall vs Austin was far from terrible even if it was basically filler to get both guys on the Mania card since they wouldn't really get started on that feud until afterward.

It was when they fell back on the same old tired NWO bullshit of a bloated, expanding roster and a corrupt authority figure in their pocket that poo poo sucked. Then Hall got fired because of the plane ride, and Nash got hurt on top of that. You know what was a stroke of genius though? HBK joining the NWO. People STILL refer to that as one of the most shocking segments/turns/reveals ever, it made so much sense, it had that Monday Night War ship-jumping feel, it was perfect in every way, especially since Shawn was back in the ring shortly afterward which would have been huge.

If the new NWO had just been Shawn, Hall, Nash (assuming no injuries or personal meltdowns) and maybe one other guy (probably Xpac for a number of reasons) it could have been great. They'd built up this mutual respect but I still hate your guts rivalry between Triple H and Stone Cold starting at the Royal Rumble, it should have been those two against HBK's NWO with them trying to win over Triple H while destroying Austin and thus fostering mistrust at every step between the faces. That would have been one hell of a good story. Instead we got terrible bullshit that petered away into nothing, to the point where it was so blatant Vince had to comment on how it petered away into nothing in the RUTHLESS AGGRESSION promo.

zetamind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.

sticklefifer posted:

They thought Booker/Buff would carry the brand. I don't think Vince ever actually watched WCW.

Oh I think he watched just enough of it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Spl1Prm2jE

:vince:

Hoss Corncave
Feb 13, 2012

JGKing posted:

JR describes the Alliance team as "three young studs". That's 31 year old Stasiak and Kanyon, and 34 year old Morrus.

The only two things I remember from this match were the finish and that comment about the WCW team that JR made. It always struck me as odd, considering that they'd been around in WCW for years and weren't exactly young now.

Onmi
Jul 12, 2013

If someone says it one more time I'm having Florina show up as a corpse. I'm not even kidding, I was pissed off with people doing that shit back in 2010, and I'm not dealing with it now in 2016.

RZApublican posted:

Oh I think he watched just enough of it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Spl1Prm2jE

:vince:

The funny thing is he said in the past that Buff would never have a job in the WWF.

Mercury Crusader
Apr 20, 2005

You know they say that all demons are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Pyro Jack and you can see that statement is not true, hee-ho!

Manny Suave posted:

It was Arn and Scott Hudson. What's the consensus on Scott Hudson? I thought he was A-Okay, but it's been years and maybe he was terrible and I was just young.

I can't remember much about Scott Hudson at that time period because Mark Madden was so lovely that he kind of eclipsed Hudson.

Apparently he worked at WCW for the majority of its lifespan but he was used so infrequently that I actually forgot he was an interviewer at times.

Mercury Crusader fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Apr 16, 2015

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


Scott Hudson was mediocre. He didn't add anything, but he didn't take away from anything, and any time he was talking it meant Mark Madden wasn't so he was a net positive.

triplexpac
Mar 24, 2007

Suck it
Two tears in a bucket
And then another thing
I'm not the one they'll try their luck with
Hit hard like brass knuckles
See your face through the turnbuckle dude
I got no love for you
Scott Hudson is like Jim Ross compared to announcing today

Hoss Corncave
Feb 13, 2012
I always liked Scott Hudson because it seemed like he would often talk up all the competitors in a match. Even if it was Disco or someone, he'd still say that they were a whatever-time champion to give them even some legitimacy.

Or I may be remembering him completely wrongly because of a line on WorldWide which was something like "You're not going to pin Wildcat Chris Harris that easily!". Still, I liked him, and he wasn't Mark Madden.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
Hudson was decent PbP and had sometimes got really into a match. Maybe it's just a matter of seeming better compared to other WCW commentary, but I always remembered him being pretty good.

JGKing
Dec 26, 2012

What has happened to this company?!
InVasion - July 22nd 2001


PART 3

Shane McMahon is psyching Booker T up backstage. It's important to note that Booker is both the WCW Champion and US Champion here.

Elsewhere, a furious William Regal (still angry from his earlier loss) gets Tajiri hyped for his upcoming match. It's good to see comedic characters getting all serious - really drives home the idea that this is a legit inter-promotional war.

7. Tazz vs Tajiri
I've written this match up twice and lost it both times, and I'm sick of watching it now. Here's a very brief recap of the action. Unlike my usual recaps, this contest is in the past tense. To represent how glad I am that it's loving finally behind me.

Tazz had the upper hand for most of the bout, beating Tajiri down with suplexes and strikes. The Japanese Buzzsaw got some offence in, occasionally nailing a few martial arts strikes or a handspring elbow. Just when Tazz looked to be closing in on the win, Tajiri caught him in a tarantula for a few seconds - but had to release it before the count of five, of course.

Tajiri hit a few stiff kicks to the chest of Tazz, but was caught and suplexed hard on his back. Tazz got angry and shoved the ref out of the way before bending to pick his opponent up...which allowed Tajiri to hit THE GREEN MIST for the first time in my recap threads! I marked out quite a bit on the first viewing, but after typing this up for a third time it really didn't get me excited any more. ANYWAY, this allowed Tajiri to boot Tazz's head off and cover him before the ref realised what happened, giving him the feelgood win.

Winner: Tajiri 2/5 - Good effort from Tajiri; Tazz did okay. Decent but short, although I don't think anybody would have enjoyed a longer match here.

Tajiri scampers away victorious. We cut to the locker room where Matt hardy is psyching up brother Jeff for his upcoming Hardcore Championship defence against Rob Van Dam. Suddenly RVD himself appears out of nowhere and smashes Matt with a steel chair. He tells Jeff he’s next and runs away, presumably to gorilla position.

8. WWF Hardcore Championship: Jeff Hardy (c) vs Rob Van Dam
Jeff enters second and charges the ring, narrowly missing a legdrop on RVD before eating a swift kick to the face. The pair go through a fairly sloppy exchange of near-misses and athletic evasions while thunderous “Hardy” chants ring out around the arena. Van Dam idiotically turns his back to do his signature taunt, allowing Jeff to dropkick him in the back and take control.
Hardy gets a near fall by ignoring RVD’s invitation to leap over his prone body and simply dropping a leg, but the Alliance man scores a two count of his own with a standing moonsault. Van Dam busts out a double-underhook facebuster and hits rolling thunder for another two. It’s pretty and all, but everybody (including me) would probably rather see somebody get smacked with a chair.

Cole and JR are putting over RVD a lot, hyping him as the hidden jewel in the Alliance’s ranks and comparing his moveset to that of “popular movie The Matrix”. He hops onto the top turnbuckle in a single bound, but Jeff simply shoves him off all the way to the crowd barrier with a sickening thud. He follows up with a really good baseball slide, before...OH poo poo! A really inventive spot as Hardy attempts his trademark “leap onto the barricade and parkour into a clothesline”, only for RVD to leap up there and meet him with a clothesline of his own. Jeff was already mid-fall so it came off a little sloppy, but it was an insanely difficult nature of the sequence. RVD spills to ringside while Hardy disappears into the crowd.
Van Dam follows his prey into the crowd and hits an impressive moonsault from a slightly raised section of the crowd – not a lot of room for error there. It’s worth noting that, although RVD is cramming all his moves in to impress the new WWF audience, he’s always remembering to sell. He goes for a cover in the crowd (falls count anywhere rules for the Hardcore title) and gets a two count.

RVD drapes Jeff over the barricade, heads to the apron and hits a SICK spinning legdrop! The crowd are rightfully impressed. The “Hardy” chants have now been fully replaced by support for the supposed heel, showing just how quickly his unique style can get over. Jeff begins his comeback as RVD tries to drag him back into the ring, headbutting him in the gut and launching into a HEAVY sunset flip powerbomb off the apron. That had to suck – RVD landed hard on the small of his back. Jeff drags a huge ladder out from under the ring and sets it up on the outside, but Van Dam scuttles back into the ring as he reaches the top and dramatically topples it over! Hardy takes a huge tumble to the entrance ramp (although seems to break his fall safely). We get JR’s famous call: “how do you learn how to fall off a 20 foot ladder?”

RVD has the timekeeper’s chair and a “let’s end this bullshit” swagger in his step, but Jeff surprises him as he bends down by butting the top of the ladder into his face. Van Dam drops the chair and Hardy cracks him over the back as they limp up the entrance ramp. RVD is begging on his knees as Jeff prepares a death blow...BUT SPRINGS INTO A VAN DAMINATOR AND KNOCKS HARDY OFF THE STAGE!

Van Dam drags Jeff back to the ring, seemingly intent on murdering him, and surfboards a chair into his seated opponent. He pops up for an asai moonsault, but Hardy gets the knees up and drills a DDT! Van Dam sells it ridiculously, bouncing headfirst off the canvas as if made of rubber. Jeff hits a stupidly stiff German suplex for two, before nailing a jawbreaker and going up for the Swanton. Van Dam rolls out of the way, places the Hardcore Championship on Jeff’s chest, and nails the Five Star Frogsplash for the win.

Winner and NEW WWF Hardcore Champion: Rob Van Dam 4/5 – A stupidly thrilling encounter which saw a little sloppiness made up for by sheer drama and excitement. Hardly a technical classic, but featured three jaw-dropping spots (the barricade double-clothesline, Jeff’s ladder bump, and the surprise Van Daminator on the stage).

I make that 4-4 in the overall WWF vs Alliance standings so far.

Vince McMahon and Angle are backstage. Vince tells Kurt he needs to be in the right frame of mind for the upcoming Inaugural Brawl. He tries to play on Angle's patriotism, but Kurt tells him to cut "all the Americana bullshit". He says he's going to kick some serious rear end tonight - for his country and his company, sure - but mainly for himself. It's drat true. Vince looks equal parts shocked and aroused by Kurt's sudden badassery.

We get a hype package for the first ever "bra and panties tag match" between Torrie Wilson, Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus and Lita. The WWF girls aren't the best of friends, especially given Trish's recent flirting with both Hardy brothers. However, they have seemingly bonded together against a common pair of enemies, a rivalry kicked up a notch by Stacy and Torrie's shameless advances on Matt and Jeff.

Foley is pulling double special guest referee duty tonight, having earlier officiated the Nick Patrick vs Earl Hebner classic.

9. Bra & Panties Match: Torrie Wilson and Stacy Keibler vs Trish Stratus and Lita
The WCW gals are out first and flirt with Foley as they wait in the ring. The WWF ladies look more focused, although Lita's the only one who looks like a legitimate rear end-kicker. STEREO CATFIGHTS TO BEGIN. This is Ring Of Honor poo poo. I'm waiting for somebody to bust out a powerbomb on the ring apron or a long chain of shining wizards. Trish and Torrie start off as the legal women, exchanging a couple of (not so stiff) slaps, before Stratus hits the first wrestling move of the match - a vertical suplex. She goes to rip Wilson's shirt off, but Keibler makes the save. Lita is tagged in, and both heels argue over who should face her. Neither wants a piece of Lita so she takes matters into her own hands, knocking Torrie off the apron and dragging Stacy in by her hair.

Keibler's shirt is ripped off. Her bra is yellow. "I like yellow" says Michael Cole. I think Samuel Beckett may have booked this match, so overpowering is the emotional desolation. Stacy is surprisingly modest and covers her bra with her hands, even while Lita chases her around the ring. Torrie ambushes Lita as they slide back in and holds her in position, allowing Keibler to rip her vest off. Lita doesn't give a poo poo about the crowd seeing her bra, instead using her vest to hit a snapmare takeover on Stacy. That was cool. Lita heads up top and dives, but Keibler rolls out of the way and the Team Xtreme member crashes into the canvas. Torrie and Trish are tagged in and proceed to stink up the joint after Lita's valiant efforts at making this into an actual match. Wilson knocks Trish down, traps her in place by standing on her hair, and rips her shirt off. Stratus pulls her into a pinning predicament and yanks her pants off to a huge pop, as well as JR's approval (from a purely wrestling point of view, I should imagine).

Lita enters the ring and Stratus helps her complete a poetry in motion (clothesline version) on Torrie, before the WWF pair team up to rip her top off. Keibler enters and immediately eats a Trish bulldog, followed by Lita's moonsault. That incapacitates her enough for the faces to rip off her pants, and this match is mercifully brought to a close.

Winners: Trish Stratus and Lita 0.5/5 - Half a star solely due to Lita's efforts. The other three looked like trash in the ring (when does Trish start to become decent?) especially Keibler, who had all the mobility of a nervous giraffe.

The heels get all embarrassed because they're beautiful women in their underwear, oh boo hoo. Trish and Lita depart like best buddies with their arms around one another, although Stratus almost falls into the hole in the middle of the stage (the same thing Jeff took a bump into). Luckily Lita saves her, because that would have been a Botchamania clip for the ages.

Qonas
Apr 21, 2010
Woo this is back(ish)!

JGKing
Dec 26, 2012

What has happened to this company?!
InVasion - July 22nd 2001


PART 4

It's almost time for the Inaugural Brawl, a big ten-man tag match between the Alliance and Team WWE. Shane, Stephanie and Heyman are backstage firing up their troops (Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno and the Dudley Boyz).

Austin is in the #HeelLockerRoom sharing an awkward silence with Vince and Debra. Vince tries to psych him up but Austin cuts him off immediately, and implies that he's back to his rear end-kicking pre-WrestleMania 17 ways. He says he's ready to go out there and kick some rear end, and that's the bottom line. The crowd love it.

quote:

A big hype video recaps the Invasion so far. Here are a few key moments.

- On the final episode of Nitro, Shane McMahon is revealed to have bought WCW from under his father's nose.
- WCW Champion Booker T interferes in the main event of King of the Ring, putting WWF Champion Stone Cold through the announce table.
- The invading WCW forces are bolstered by a defection of WWE superstars still loyal to ECW and Paul Heyman. Stephanie is revealed as the new ECW owner.
- On an episode of Smackdown, Vince tries to convince Austin to go back to his old hellraising ways and lead Team WWF. Austin shakes his head and leaves.
- Austin no-shows Raw and drinks at a local bar instead. He becomes progressively more agitated as the show goes on, eventually driving back to the arena (don't drink and drive, folks) and single-handedly turning the tide of a roster-wide brawl.

The current score is 5-4 to Team WWE, but Michael Cole informs us that it's 5-5, because he's counting an earlier Sunday Night Heat pre-show match which saw Chavo Guerrero defeat Scotty 2 Hotty.

Shane, Heyman and Stephanie make their obnoxious way to the ring. Vince is next, looking silently intense.

The Alliance's five representatives consist of WCW Champion Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno, and The Dudley Boyz.

Team WWE have a far more star-studded lineup, boasting WWF Champion Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, The Undertaker, and Kane.

10. Inaugural Brawl: The Alliance vs Team WWF
The teams make staggered entrances, and Undertaker decides to be an attention-stealing dick and start the match before Stone Cold has come out. 'Taker jumps DDP as he comes down the ramp, presumably still annoyed at the whole "creepily and relentlessly stalking your wife" thing. Dude has no chill. This kickstarts a huge brawl on the ramp, which Austin eagerly joins once his music hits. Stone Cold grabs Rhyno and drags him into the ring where the match starts properly, dominating the Detroit native with a few of his signature moves (plues a big superplex).

Here comes Jericho like a house on fire. Apparently he pleaded Vince to put him in Team WWF. Rhyno gets the tag to Booker T, who finds himself on the receiving end of a big Y2J hiptoss. A bulldog keeps Booker T down for two; Rhyno's late to break up the pinfall but Booker calls an audible and kicks out - good work. Rhyno accidentally nails booker and seems apologetic, but Jericho ends their make-up session with a springboard dropkick, sending Rhyno to the outside. Chris looking good so far.

Angle gets the tag to a big pop (when did he get so over?) and batters Booker to the canvas, but the WCW Champion battles back with a well-timed spinning heel kick. D-Von gets the tag and looks particularly fired up tonight, as does Kurt - although it's less of a surprise in the Olympian's case. He's always intense. Kane comes in for the WWF and nails D-Von with a sidewalk slam, but Bubba comes in to break up the subsequent chokeslam. Kane takes the 3D...well, the weaker, stationary version of it, which leads to a two count.

Bubba's the legal man now, and falls victim to Kane's leaping right hand from the top rope. Undertaker gets the tag and immediately stinks up the ring. I've asked this before in the last thread and I'll ask it again - when does he get good again!? We all know he does, but you wouldn't know it by watching him here. DDP is knocked off the apron with a right hand (playing up to their continued feud), before Bubba gets taken to old school. 'Taker knocks the Alliance members off the apron like skittles, but Page ducks a right hand and drops him into the top rope with a stunner! That was awesome!

After I finish my little mark-out session for DDP, Bubba tags in Rhyno for a second stint. I can't imagine 'Taker would allow him much offence. Oh, I'm immediately proven wrong as Rhyno shoulders him in the gut and stomps a mudhole in the corner. DDP begs for the tag and gets it - he takes Undertaker down with a short-arm clothesline for two. Twice now 'Taker has tried to do the emphatic bench-press style kickout, and both times he's botched it. Please stop. Booker T gets the tag and hits another nice heel kick, but Undertaker catches a break with a desperation DDT.

Austin gets the tag and comes in like a house on fire, stomping a mudhole in Booker. The WCW Champion rakes him in the eyes and gets some cheap heat, but Stone Cold almost catches him with the Stunner! Booker shoves him away, but Austin comes right back to bundle him out of the ring through the middle ropes. He hits a nice vertical suplex on the outside before taking the action back into the ring and tagging in Y2J. Jericho almost immediately goes for the Walls, but DDP comes in to break it up...and gets caught in the Walls instead! Jericho has to break it off immediately to resume the attack on Booker, who rolls out of the way of a Lionsault while Y2J lands on his feet. He charges at Booker, who lifts him into a 3D-style manoeuvre with D-Von on the apron. They drop his head over the top rope, and Jericho's in dreamland.

Y2J gets beaten around by new legal man Bubba Ray for a while, but fights back against both Dudleys with a clothesline and a spinning heel kick. He's still looking great, by the way. Angle gets a very hot tag and cleans house, treating the Dudleys to a belly-to-belly suplex each. Generous. DDP tries to interfere from the apron and gets smacked all the way to the edge of the announce table, but the distraction's enough to leave Kurt open to a Bubba Bomb! He's the illegal man, and can't therefore capitalise, but D-Von makes an eventual cover instead. Angle kicks out at two, but the Undertaker arrives anyway to try and break it up. Can he do anything right?

The heels play face-in-peril with Kurt, allowing Booker to hit his Axe Kick and follow it up with the Spinaroonie. Rhyno dashes in to hit a cheap shot, and Austin hilariously charges into the ring to lay him out as he tries to slink away. DDP hits a huge sitout powerbomb on Kurt, but again Stone Cold is there to save his team, breaking up the ensuing pinfall. The Dudleys hit Wassup on Angle, before Page gets another nearfall with a sleeperhold into a slam. Kurt needs to tag out.

Jericho stands on the ropes to cheer Angle on, which prompts ringside official Lil Naitch to try to yank him down, but Austin drags the ref away by the hair. All this happened in the background - great work by everyone involved. Kurt finally escapes a front facelock to tag Stone Cold in, but the referee missed it! He forces Austin back onto the apron while the heels put the boots to Kurt. Diamond Cutter! Undertaker's seen enough, and clambers into the ring to lay out Page with a right hand. This kickstarts a huge brawl with all ten men in the ring, although Austin soon bails to see a ringside doctor about his knee. It seems a kayfabe injury though, judging by the amount of times we cut back to him wincing in pain on the sidelines.

Rhyno charges with a Gore, accidentally wiping out Booker T instead of his intended target Jericho. The ring clears out, leaving Page and Undertaker alone again. A chokeslam connects, and 'Taker sets up DDP for the Last Ride. WCW-affiliated official Lil Naitch has had enough, and dashes from his post outside the ring to force the illegal man back to his corner. 'Taker doesn't take too kindly to this...and CHARLES ROBINSON GOES FOR THE LAST RIDE! That seems suspiciously like a spot 'Taker would have forced into the match to make himself look badass, but what do I know.

DDP takes off into the crowd and Undertaker follows him, so we're down to 8 for now. Kane strips the announce table but the Dudley Boyz ambush him and set up a table of their own on a diagonal against the crowd barrier. D-Von tries to set Kane up...but gets chokeslammed through the English announce table! Rhyno is out to help now. OHHH! He and Bubba Ray team up to hit a double vertical suplex on Kane, sending him straight through the Spanish announce table! This match is devolving into chaos, and it's much better for it!

ANOTHER BIG SPOT! Rhyno staggers from the wreckage and walks in front of the Dudleys' table (the one against the crowd barricade), allowing Y2J to bravely dive off the apron and send both men crashing through! Austin's STILL getting his knee looked at, while many of his opponents and teammates are strewn around the ringside area. Bubba and Booker stare down Kurt in the ring, but Angle doesn't give a gently caress about their numbers advantage. German suplex to Booker! Olympic Slam to Bubba Ray! Ankle Lock on Booker! Will he tap!?

No! Booker rolls onto his back and kicks Kurt away, sending him careering into Mike Chioda. With no referee and all the wrestlers down, Vince grabs the WWF Championship and slides it to the recovering Angle. Shane dashes into the ring to intercept the belt, Vince charges in to stop him...and Shane DESTROYS Vince with a massive belt shot to the head! Shane McMahon continues to be awesome. He tries to hit Kurt too, but Angle ducks and clotheslines him out of there. Bubba follows thanks to a backdrop, and Booker misses with a big scissor kick. Kurt is on fire! Olympic Slam to Booker, and the straps of his singlet are down! Stone Cold revives Chioda and shoves him back into the ring...and boots Angle in the face!?

Stunner to Kurt! The crowd are shocked and so is JR. Austin drags Booker on top and the ref counts the three.

Winners: The Alliance 2.5/5 - A fairly ordinary multi-man tag match at first, with everybody getting little segments of time to shine, but this stepped up a notch once everybody decided "gently caress it, let's just brawl". Austin, Angle, Jericho, Booker and D-Von all put in great work here, and the rest were okay (minus the ever-frustrating Undertaker). I've deducted half a point for the ending, for reasons I'll go into next, but this made up for its lack of general quality (and cumbersome early stages) with a ton of excitement.

Suddenly Austin's knee injury, removing him from the most chaotic part of the match, makes a lot of sense.

Stone Cold grabs his title and invites Shane, Stephanie and Heyman into the ring. He puts a few boots to the prone Kurt Angle (Vince still lies unconscious from Shane's belt shot a few feet away), and the four share a few beers while JR screams "WHY AUSTIN, WHY!?". It's a question I'd like to know the answer to as well, as the PPV comes to a close.

quote:

Kayfabe Reasons Austin's Defection Makes No Sense
As controversial as Stone Cold's WrestleMania 17 heel turn was from a business perspective, it made sense from a kayfabe point of view. The clue is in that famous hype video, in which Austin tells Rock "I have to beat you, more than you could ever imagine". He had become obsessed with holding the WWF Championship once more, especially after Rikishi's vehicular assault almost ended his career, and would ultimately have done anything to get it back - even aligning with his greatest rival.

Following Invasion, Austin's explanation for his defection was threefold.

1. He felt that Vince was grooming Kurt Angle to take his spot.
2. He felt that Vince was reaching out for The Rock to return from Hollywood.
3. When Vince told him he needed "the old Stone Cold back" he felt greatly unappreciated.

These are valid points, especially the first two, given Austin's paranoia when it comes to keeping a firm grasp on his WWF Championship. However, other facets of Austin's personality clash with his decision to defect - to the point where it damages the swerve, making it illogical. (These points weren't immediately obvious - I had to flesh them out in my mind afterwards - but the turn did immediately feel "off.")

1. Austin's number one priority is keeping the WWF Championship around his waist. If he'd stayed put, the two men he'd felt most threatened by would have been forced to ally with him (Kurt Angle, and a currently absent Rock). Instead, he's now put himself directly in their sights, as well as the firing line of Undertaker and Kane, two men who've beaten him in the past. If he'd stayed put, he'd have had to deal with challengers such as Booker T and Diamond Dallas Page - unknown commodities, sure, but a pair of men already reliant upon sneak attacks and numbers to gain an advantage.

2. Austin should hate WCW for firing him back in the 90s (and expressed such an opinion during his brief spell in ECW). Although he has no beef with Paul Heyman, his hatred for WCW should prevent him from ever wanting to help them take down the WWF.

3. Over the next few months we'll see Austin develop a tyrannical need to be adored by his new Alliance buddies (another strange twist, given Stone Cold's seemingly-permanent "give-no-fucks" attitude towards the opinion of others), but if he really needed to be looked up to and admired as the top dog, he needn't have switched sides. Vince had already pretty much told him - "we need the old Stone Cold back; you can turn the tide of this war and save the company".

What do you guys think of Austin's turn, either from a storyline or business point of view? Did you love it? Did you hate it? Leave a message below and tell me what you think.
JGKing,
Stone Cold Steve Austin,
...
forever.

triplexpac
Mar 24, 2007

Suck it
Two tears in a bucket
And then another thing
I'm not the one they'll try their luck with
Hit hard like brass knuckles
See your face through the turnbuckle dude
I got no love for you
Austin as the leader of the Alliance is right up there with some of my favourite work he's done. He was hilarious and awesome as the paranoid dude beating the crap out of his followers

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
Heel Austin wasn't as cool based solely on the fact that face Austin was the loving best

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NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
I'm glad you're back, JGKing. I really like your writeups.

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