Jesus Christ posted:

I just moved to a new place and the toilet's water level is too high so whenever I take a poo poo my dick ends up swimming unless I hold it up a bit. At my last place, the water level was alright but the bowl seemed like it was designed for an Asian clientele and my dick would touch the front of the basin unless I held it up.

I genuinely fear what I may have contracted by the vast number of toilets my knobend has made contact with in some form or fashion.