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This is now the automotive insanity megathread for all your car air cfreshner needs and inquiries. POlease give reviews of your favourite and least favourite air freshners and give them a rating from 1 - 10 where 1 is mega whiffs and 10 is perfume perfection. Please detail your own chosen criteria for marking those 10 points. I will provide an example: Brand: unknown Scent: vanilla Rating: 3/10 (Bad Pongz) Criteria: - attachment mechanism / design quality -attachment mechanism / design utility -Fragrance FAIL -Sentiments FAIL -Shape FAIL -Texture FAIL -Memories FAIL -Staying Power [PASS!] -Blood [FAIL] -Color [FAIL] -Price [PASS!] -Ergonomics[FAIL] Review: I'm not quite sure to begin with this travesty of an air freshner. Not only is its texture thick and fuzzy (totally inappropriate for a professional's car) its shape is way too large and round, obscuring vision of both the road and my happy meal toy collection on the dash. Its scent is awful; supposedly vanilla but really just causes travel sickness (which is coincidentally why i failed it on the 'memories' and 'sentiments' criteria). After the initial nausea set in, a mild state of impressionability took my body, and it was merely 30 minutes before I was making blood sacrifices in my car with my own blood so i failed it for 'blood' too (i lost 7 pints). Initially the item had a solid, neutral color and i liked this but after getting soaked in blood it became unbearable to look at (remembering the awful shape and texture, please). Ergonomics on this thing are amazing though, I can hold it squarely in the palm of my hand with my fingerfolds resting comfortably around the edge (... if only it weren't for the awful texture...) but this shape doesn't contribute to its place on the rear-view mirror. I had no trouble holding and catching this between my teeth as i played fetch with my dom. A fail though, since its shape and its ergonomics offer no useful value to my air freshener experience. This thing just won't stop stinking and driving me to blood rituals. Staying power is a definite pass. I just want it to end. The price passed because i didn't pay for this air freshener.
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# ? Apr 16, 2015 22:02 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 10:38 |
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Sit your five dollar rear end down and let me tell you about a six dollar air freshener. This poo poo goes in your car and freshens the living poo poo out of the air. A couple years ago, me and a couple of accomplices were driving in the mountains. We had just borrowed a large sum of gold from the mafia and were dressed as soccer players. Eventually our drunken carousing over the celebration of our successful job had gotten out of hand, and the bus ended up teetering over a cliff with the gold just out of reach. But I had a great idea, you see. By using the Air Sponge I was able to pull enough negative scent energy out of the opposite end of the bus so as to balance out the weight distribution and cause the gold to slide back towards us, rescuing the bus and the gold in one fell swoop. My compatriots cheered and lifted me upon their shoulders, but it was all thanks to Air Sponge. After that, I was quickly snapped up by the FBI for a most dangerous assignment. We were in the Swiss Alps and I was behind the wheel of a modified Aston Martin DB9, eating a chalupa. Now the thing you have to know about Aston Martins - really any British car - is that chalupa stains never come out of the interior. Or at least that was the conventional belief before Air Sponge. I pulled up to the Swiss casino and had the valet park my car. Other Aston drivers were stunned at the sheer audacity of my having eating the chalupa in such a primo automobile, and were so distracted by it that I was able to liberate them of their money, girlfriends and briefcases in a few games of high-stakes Baccarat. From there it was a doddle to pump my targets for intelligence and escape unscathed. I would recommend the Air Sponge primarily for close-range covert work. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Apr 16, 2015 |
# ? Apr 16, 2015 22:13 |
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Freshen the air? How then will I smell my own *farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt*
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# ? Apr 16, 2015 22:16 |
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Holy poo poo goons get on my level
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# ? Apr 16, 2015 22:28 |
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I find that leaving left over burker king/wendy's in the car makes it smell pretty tasty for a couple days
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# ? Apr 16, 2015 22:29 |
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It does smell pungently of cherries, and I respect the makers of products who deliver on their promises.
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# ? Apr 16, 2015 22:30 |
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I knew a kid back in the early 90's who would try to mask the stench from his rancid skate pads with urinal cakes. Seriously. The back of his wagon smelled like a loving rest stop gas station.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 00:19 |
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MattO posted:I knew a kid back in the early 90's who would try to mask the stench from his rancid skate pads with urinal cakes. Seriously. The back of his wagon smelled like a loving rest stop gas station. Yeah but those new rubbery ones smell awesome. Kid I work with takes the "mango-melon" ones and uses them. Last for a good month or so.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 04:23 |
Hahahah air fresheners, they were so cool once. Like there was literally a time where people said "drat poo poo is rank in here, let's add a bunch of synthetic pine chemical to make the air better!" Archaeologists are going to be really loving confused when they look through our trash in a thousand years.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 04:46 |
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I spray a shitload of Ozium into my car and leave it overnight if I need to. This is usually after bringing home In-N-Out because that smell will be there the next morning otherwise.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 05:07 |
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Its a little known fact but apparently you are suppose to just tear the bag and hang the thing on your mirror while still in the bag and then slowly reveal more of the cardboard over time as the scent wears down. that way you get the scent for longer and not just a few days of eye-burning fragrance.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 05:08 |
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Laserface posted:Its a little known fact but apparently you are suppose to just tear the bag and hang the thing on your mirror while still in the bag and then slowly reveal more of the cardboard over time as the scent wears down. Lifehack'd
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 05:16 |
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I like it when the inside of my car smells like the inside of my gun safe. Of course, I'm anosmic, so I can't really smell anything anyhow.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 05:46 |
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Give me GIGA Squash or give me death!
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 07:08 |
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Chinatown posted:I spray a shitload of Ozium into my car and leave it overnight if I need to. Can I spray Ozium into my shoes??
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 07:37 |
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Does anyone make a high quality cocaine scented air freshener because i have t found anythin yet
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 07:41 |
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i hear cocaine smells like cocaine
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 07:43 |
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I feel like hnone of you are posting in the spirit of the thread..
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 09:33 |
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Brand: unknown Scent: cocoa Rating: 8/10 Review: Easy to hang, and smells so good!
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 12:32 |
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mobby_6kl posted:
that is a very fine brand, do you have any more info on their range and availability?
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 18:24 |
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BRAND - Sheep Poo Paper™ SCENT - Sort of like cut grass RATING - Balchder Cymreig! REVIEW - not bad at all, 7/10
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 19:35 |
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Its called "dont eat in the car, ever. Vaccum now and than, once a year rent a carpet shampoo thing." Do your car and couch and mattress if its fabric. Know how it smells? Clean.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 20:08 |
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n0tqu1tesane posted:I like it when the inside of my car smells like the inside of my gun safe. I really shouldn't be surprised that this exists. I know how to keep my roommate from stealing my car now. BRAND - California Scents SCENT - "Cherries" RATING - 2/10 REVIEW - It's overpoweringly almost-sickly-sweet smelling, but they fit nicely in a cup holder due to being in cat food cans. My roommate almost made the mistake of opening one inside and starting a catpocolypse.
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 20:32 |
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case posted:
drat. paper, wool, lamb and sex. Is there anything a welshman can't do with a sheep?
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 21:12 |
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mobby_6kl posted:
Where the gently caress do I buy this?
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 21:19 |
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when i order my oil and filter from opieoils™ they send me a free opieoils™ air freshner thats my air freshner story
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 21:25 |
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n0tqu1tesane posted:I like it when the inside of my car smells like the inside of my gun safe. somebody make me a wd40 air freshener please and thank you
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# ? Apr 17, 2015 23:51 |
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blugu64 posted:somebody make me a wd40 air freshener please and thank you I swear I have seen one of those before at some autoparts store, but google is failing me. No idea if it was wd40 scented, but it looked like a can of wd40...
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# ? Apr 18, 2015 01:31 |
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Potato picture: Brand $100 dolla bill Scent Maybe money? I don't know, I think it had been there a while Rating 1/10 Review This air freshener is supposed to tell people "Hey, this guy has so much money he can just hang it off his mirror because he got it like that" but it instead had the opposite effect and everybody knew I was a broke rear end. It probably did not help that it was hanging in a canary yellow 1977 Coupe DeVille with rust everywhere and a chain holding the rear bumper on. Actually, that may have been how everybody knew I was a broke rear end. Regardless, it didn't even smell like anything because it was prob old as poo poo. 1/10, do not recommend and would not buy again.
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# ? Apr 18, 2015 01:53 |
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All this talk, and yet not one mention of: Brand Chemical Guys Scent Stripper Scent Rating 69 Review It sure does smell like a stripper, with notes of vanilla, lavender, and a distinct lack of dignity.
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# ? Apr 18, 2015 02:31 |
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les fleurs du mall posted:I feel like hnone of you are posting in the spirit of the thread.. You're tnhe one not taking tnhis sneriously. Seriously though all, if you haven't gotten a whiff of GIGA squash it's absolutely the freshest and the best. Kind of citrusy, but without being overly bright like orange or lemon zest. 10/10
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# ? Apr 18, 2015 03:43 |
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i freshen my cars with the smell of my unwashed rear end and clothes
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# ? Apr 18, 2015 04:55 |
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West SAAB Story posted:i freshen my cars with the smell of my unwashed rear end and clothes that seat-foam and dried urine residue scent
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# ? Apr 19, 2015 00:59 |
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McSpatula posted:All this talk, and yet not one mention of: This stuff unironically smells great though.
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# ? Apr 19, 2015 04:15 |
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McSpatula posted:All this talk, and yet not one mention of: Does it come in Shame?
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# ? Apr 19, 2015 13:06 |
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Do you have a smell in your car that's bothering you? Never fear! Brand: Swedish Scent: End of the World Rating: -1 billion or +1 billion, depending on evaluation. Review: Definitely obliterates the previous bad smell.
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# ? Apr 19, 2015 17:45 |
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Gorson posted:Does it come in Shame? most of us have plenty of that already
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 02:24 |
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Put a couple drops of cypress oil down your vents and you'll be good to go. You pansies.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 06:47 |
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And if you want a manly car smell instead of a manly coast forest smell you can use differential oil instead
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 06:48 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 10:38 |
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My go to are these: http://ukdmhatesyou.bigcartel.com/category/air-freshenering-smell-devices They come in 'apple' or 'vanilla' and neither really smells much like apple or vanilla. Not bad though. These are my childhood in cars: I've just been reminded that the above used to come with a pin that you stabbed into the back of the crystal to release the fragrance. Olympic Mathlete fucked around with this message at 11:55 on Apr 20, 2015 |
# ? Apr 20, 2015 11:50 |