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Apr 17, 2015 22:55
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sorry
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Apr 17, 2015 22:56
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blimey
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Apr 17, 2015 22:56
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knickers
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Apr 17, 2015 22:56
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oi m8 ow bout anotha shrimp on tha barby
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Apr 17, 2015 22:57
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you think im a ned ill show you a ned throws soccer cleets through window
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Apr 17, 2015 22:57
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Medic! Doc! Medic me! I want drugs! Now! I'm bleeding here! Jesus, I'm bleeding like a stuck pig! I'm hurt! Where's the bloody quack when you want one? Medical emergency, over here! I'm hit! Bloody well do something! Patch me up! Patch me up! Patch me up for God's sake! Gimme a plaster! I need a doctor! That bloody well hurts! I'm hit! Do something! I'm wounded! Jesus, I'm bleeding! Help me! That bleeding well hurts! Heal me! Help Help! I'm in deep crap here! I need an assist! Bugger it! Help me! I need cavalry! For God's sake, help me! A little help! Give me a hand over here. I need a hand here! Help me, you arseholes! Come on team, some help! Help me like now! Uh, damsel in distress here! Any time, no rush! Help! Help me now! I could do with a hand! Hey gov'na, I'm up to my bloody neck in it over here! Oi gov', I'm up to me neck here! Some help, fellas! A little help would be appreciated! A little help, guys! I need some money Give us some bloody money, will ya? Can someone give me a bit of cash? I need some dosh right now. I need dosh. Anyone? Can you give us some money? Got a few quid, mate? I need some money. I need some dinero. Can anyone lend me a tenner? Got any spare cash floating around? Where's my bloody benefits cheque? Got any spare cash? Can you sub me a few, mate? I'm skint. Can someone help me out? Can I scrounge some cash? Can I scrounge a few quid? I'm a bit brasic. Can you help me out? Give us a quid, gov'na. Can anyone lend me some cash? Give us a few quid, gov'na. Give me some money, someone. I need some dosh. Oi, sub me a few, mate. Oh come on, give me some bloody money. I'm brasic. Help me out, someone. I need a gun I need a bloody shooter! Anyone got a gun? Come on, someone kit me out. Can someone give a girl a gun? Throw me some hardware, over here. Someone lend me a shooter. Pass me a piece will ya, pal? Got a spare gun, fella? Tool me up, you tight gits! I need a weapon! Chuck me a gun, someone. Chuck me a shooter, someone. Anyone got a spare shooter? Oh come on, throw us some hardware, over here. Oh, pass me a piece pal, will ya? Acknowledgements[edit] Male voice one Male voice two Female voice Yes Affirmative. No problem. Acknowledged. Ok, ok. Okay. Sure, mate. Sure thing. Yep, will do. Will do. Yes. Got it. Yeah, ok. Got ya. Yeah, roger that. Roger that. Okay, gov'na! Okay, gov'. Okie doke. Yep. Sure, pal. No Hell no! No bloody way. Screw that idea. No. No, sod that. Bugger that. No sodding way! Bugger that. Bog off, you wanker! Bog off, you bastard! Forget it. Don't be bloody stupid! That is just bang out of order! Don't be stupid. Nob off, you tosspot! Oh, will I buggery! Terrible idea. No chance, pal. Crap no! No chance, pal. No way, mate. No way, mate. Oh, no chance, mate! I don't think so. Nob off, you idiot! Don't be sodding stupid! Thanks Thanks. Ta mate. Ta very much, love. Cheers, gov'na! Cheers. Ta very much! Appreciate it. Thanks pal! Gracias. Nice one, Cyril! Nice one. Cheers, big ears! Great, cheers. Nice one, geezer. Cheers, boss! You're too kind. Sorry 'Scuse me, mate. Sorry, mate. Whoopsie... Umm... oops. Oh... sorry. Sorry! Oh, so sorry. Sorry about that. Oh, did that hurt? Whoop, crap. Sorry! Crap, sorry. Oh, crap. Sorry! My mistake! My mistake. Oh, my mistake. Whoops! Did that hurt? My bad. Soz. Alerting[edit] Male voice one Male voice two Female voice Look out Look out! Watch it! Behind you, idiot! Heads up! Look out, you plonker! Incoming! Man on! Bad guy! Behind you, you tosser! Uglies! Watch you back, mate! Nasties! Wake up, you pillock! Wake up, you dozy pillock! Danger, Will Robinson! Run We're screwed! Leg it! Run for it! Get the hell out of here! Run! drat it! Bulls up, boys! Leg it! Burn rubber, you pillocks! Oh arse! Run! SNAFU, run! Scarper! Book it! Scarper! Oh crap, run! Burn rubber, lads! Retreat! Uh... time to leave. Wait for me Christ! Give me a breather! Give me a sec! Hold on for Christ's sake! Hold on! Hang about! I'm coming! Hang on! I'm coming! Hang about! I'm coming! Wait for me, you wankers! Wait for me, you lot! Wait for me! Slow down, you arseholes! Slow down, you bastards! Slow down, you lot! Wait up! I'm coming! I'm coming! Wait up! Wait up! I'm bricking meself! Wait up! I'm bricking myself! Wait! Hold up! Weld the doors Seal the doors, quick! Get the doors, you muppets! One of you muppets weld the doors! Get those doors welded. Get those doors welded, now! Get those doors welded. Weld them tight. Weld them up tight. Weld those doors shut. One of you pikeys weld those bloody doors! Weld those sodding doors! Weld those doors! Weld those bloody doors! Get the doors, you lot! Weld the doors, you lot! Let's hole up here Nice bolt-hole. This will do. Thin red line, right here boys. Hold 'em off here. Stand them off here. Let's make a stand here. This'll do. I need a breather anyway. Oh dear, I need a breather anyway. Let's hole up here boys. Hunker down in here. Let's hunker down here. Let's dig in, right here. Dig in, right here. Dig in right here. God, remember the bleedin' alamo? Remember the bleedin' alamo? Follow me On me! With me! Right, follow me! Follow me! Follow me! This way, you prats! Get fell in, now! With me, people! Oi, plonkers! Follow me! This way, you lot! Oi, this way, you lot! Get fell in! Directing[edit] Male voice one Male voice two Female voice Get to the Trader Let's go shopping, chaps. Let's go shopping, ladies. Time to stock up, lads! The Trader's open, time to shop! Head for the Trader, guys! Head for the shop! Trader time, lads. Make for the shops! Let's go buy guns. Let's buy some bang-sticks. Time for a car-boot sale, I feel. Make for the Trader, lads Trader's setting up, let's go. Let's go and find the Trader. Let's go find the Trader, boys. Time to find the Trader, fella. Go upstairs Get upstairs, now! Upstairs to bedtime, children! Up the stairs! Get up them apples! Up the stairs, guys! Up the stairs, go! Get up the stairs! Up them apples, now! Going up! Head downstairs Head downstairs. Get down there! Going down. Get down the stairs! Get down those stairs! Down we go. Down we go, lads. Downstairs, now! Get outside Out of here! Outside, now! Outside, poo poo for brains! Outside, ladies! Get out, you mongrels. Get outside, you mongrels. Head outside, lads! Outside. Now! Outside. Now, lads. Let's get outside! Go inside Get indoors. Indoors, now! Inside, and get to work. Inside, and get to work, boys. Inside, ladies! Head inside. Head inside, lads. Head inside, people! Okay, get out the bloody rain. Okay, let's get out the rain. Let's get inside! Insults[edit] Male voice one Male voice two Female voice Insult specimens Ha, call yourself a bloody zombie? Die, you useless clot sucker! Die, shithead! Wankers! You freaks do look better dead! You freaks look better dead! Ha ha ha ha! Reminds me of a bunch of pikies! You couldn't scare my mum! This is too bloody easy! You're pathetic, like a bunch of bloody Millwall fans! Pathetic! Bring it on! F-minus so far, freaks! Try harder! You're all fur-coat, no knickers, bitches! I've seen scarier schoolgirls than you lot! I've seen scarier five-year-olds! Ha ha ha ha! Soft as shite! It's like shooting fish in a barrel! Like shooting fish in a barrel! Bloody hell! You stink! Try harder, ya smelly bastards! At least try, you mutant bastards! Oooh! Thats just nasty! You're too soft to be a zombie! I could kill you losers all night long! Come on! Ya' want some, ya' poncies?! It's like Croydon on a Friday night! Dickless zombie scum! Insult players My granny shoots better than you! Do I have to kill every zombie myself? Do I have to kill every zombie myself? Wayne Rooney's smarter than you! You can join in any time. Feel free to join in any time! Smeghead! God almighty, you're a waste of space! God, you're a waste of space. You gormless tosser! You daft wanker! At least look like you're trying. Oh, get on with it! Plod! What a plonker! Jesus, I wish you came with a receipt. You prat! Oh, do try to keep up! Do try and keep up. Need to borrow my specs, mate? Oh, come on. Keep up, mate, will ya'? You an experiment in dicklessness, mate? Who do you think you are? Bleedin' action man? I've met smarter donkeys than you lot! Please! Join their side! You muppet! Bloody frog would be more use than you! You know you're amazingly poo poo, right? Where do I start? You are that crap. Aw, don't wowwy, I'm sure you'll get better! Hope you don't think you're hard. Whose side are you bloody on?! I've gotta say, you are impressively rubbish. How are you not dead?! You're still alive? ...Great. Automatic alerts[edit] Male voice one Male voice two Female voice When healing another player Stand still, or I'll stick it where the sun don't bloody shine. Stay put while I heal you! Hold steady, the doctor's in. Stand still, will ya'? I'm tryin' to heal ya. Stand still! I'm trying to help. Don't fidget, I'm trying to help! Stand still. Do I look like I'm nickin' stuff?! Stand still, ya' clown. Stand still, or keep bleeding. Your call. I'm trying to heal you, not bloody tickle you. I'm trying to heal you, not shag you. Doctors and nurses time! Stay put, you div. Hold on while I do my doctor thing. When reloading Reloading! New mag! Reloading! Can't you see I'm reloading?! I'm reloading. Cover me! Reloading. Cover me! Cover me, I'm reloading! Watch it, I'm reloading! Watch it, I'm reloading! New mag, give me a sec'! Wait up! New mag in! Wait up, reloading! Hold on a tick! I'm reloading! Give me a sec! I'm reloading. Give me a sec, reloading! When out of ammo I'm out of ammo! I'm all out of ammo! Me ammo's all gone! My ammo's dry! All my ammo's gone! Oh crap, I'm out of ammo! Oh crap, I'm out of ammo! Oh God, I'm out of ammo! Oh, bugger it! I'm all out! Dammit, I'm out of ammo! Running on empty now! Bugger! No rounds left! Ammo's dry, fellas! Nothing but fumes left. Oh Christ, I'm out! I'm out! Nothing left, guys! When welding a door No bastard's comin' through here! No freaks coming through here! Ah, I am welding this door! I told you! I am welding this door! Stand back, welding! Keep back! I'm welding! Closing time! Time to close up shop! Instant lock in, boys. It's closing time! Tight as a drum, fellas! That'll keep the sods out. Ok, boss. No one's coming this way. Let's seal this up! Ok gov'na, no one's coming this way. I'm welding, stand back boys. None shall pass! Puttin' the wood in the 'ole, guv'nor. That'll keep the buggers out. Keep those buggers out! Instant-locking, lads. Watch and learn! When unwelding a door Bosh! Door's open! Open... sesame! I'm unwelding this one! I'll separate these doors! I'm bloody opening it! Gimme a sec, cutting! You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. I know! You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. I told you, you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! I'm cutting this one open! I'm cutting this one open, lads! I'm cutting these open! Opening this door! When low on health I'm dying! Do something! I'm a goner! Do something! Don't just stand there! Save me! I'm done for, someone help me! I'm dying here! Help me! I'm dying here, you idiots! I'm dying, someone help me! I'm dying here, you bloody idiots! I'm on my last legs here! Augh, I'm almost done for! Help! I'm on my bloody last legs! I'm bleedin' knackered! I'm down, and nearly out! Help! Do something, or I'm brown bread! I'm done in, you prats! Help me! I'm almost dead! Help me! I'm bloody knackered! Do something, or I'm screwed! It's game over for me! Help! Help me, or I'll be pushing up the bloody daisies! Help me, or I'm pushing up the daisies! I'm done in, you prats! Help me! I'm done in, you arseholes! Help me! When dropping money Money money money! Cha-ching! Money money money! It's raining money! Money drop! Loads of money! A bit of spending money for you. Dosh! Grab it while you can, lads. Dosh! Grab it while it's hot. Bank of Me, open for business. Who needed money? Okay, cash here! Someone grab it. Who needs some wonga? Cash here! Grab it all. Here's some cash, guys. Someone take it. You're most welcome. Buy something pretty for yourself. Other automatic alerts[edit] Male voice one Male voice two Female voice When a Bloat vomits Christ, that stuff burns! Get away! Watch it, that'll ruin your high heels. drat! That stuff looks nasty! Watch it, that stuff's nasty. That stings like a bad curry! Able vindaloo, anyone? Ha ha ha! Oh God, don't step in it! Ugh, gross! When an enemy burns to death Barbecue tonight? S'mores, anyone? Burn, you bastard! Burn! Burn, you bastards! It's toasty time! Yeah, toasty! Ah, nice and toasty! When a player is grabbed by a Clot Christ, I can't move! Get off me, you bloody nonce! Back off, ugly! Christ, get this thing off me! Ugh, grabby bastard! Let go, you bastard! Get off me! The smelly buggers grabbed me! At least buy me a drink first! When a Stalker is killed with a melee weapon Give us a kiss while you're still warm! I'd rather kiss a pig. Chew that! I don't kiss dead tarts. There's a kiss, bitch! Skittery bastard! I've never kissed a dead tart before. Kiss that! When the Patriarch uses his chaingun Bloody nora, he's got a machine gun! Talk about 'armed and dangerous'! Christ, what else has that bastard got up his sleeve? Mother of God, what else has that bastard got up his sleeve? Bollocks, a machine gun arm! A chaingun, you gotta be kidding! A chaingun? You've got to be kidding! You're joking. A chaingun arm? A machine gun for an arm? No effin' way! A machine gun for an arm? Oh, no loving way! A machine gun for an arm? Great... When the Patriarch goes invisible Do me a bloody favour. He can go invisible? What? He can go invisible? Crap! That bastard vanished! Crap! Where'd he go! He goes bloody invisible too? He goes sodding invisible too? Invisibility? Tricky little poo poo. Bloody hell, where'd he go? Sodding hell! Where'd he go? Now you see me, now you don't. When the Patriarch uses his rocket launcher Rockets, too? Now he's really taking the piss. Rockets, too? Crap! Oh bloody, hell, he's got rockets too. Incoming rockets! Bloody hell! Duck! Bleeding hell! Duck! Rockets! Duck! What is this? Bloody Guy Fawkes? What is this? Sodding Guy Fawkes night? Bloody hell, he's got rockets! When the Siren screams within range of a player Hell, she could hurt someone with that voice. That scream, it's her weapon! Bugger that! She can break glass with that scream. Oh, bugger! She can break glass with that scream. Bugger, that scream will break glass! Shoot the bitch! She's doing my head in! Kill the bitch! She's making my head spin! Someone shut her up! She's killing my ears! When a Crawler is spotted Ugh... creepy crawlies? I suppose the little bastards jump too. Leechy, spidery insect things! Ugh... a bug! Someone step on it! Ew, a bug! Someone step on it! Someone squish these bugs! I always hated bloody spiders. Oh crap, they hop too! Tricky little hopping bastards. Oh bloody hell, they hop too! Human bugs! Fast, ugly and bitey! Aaagh, I hate bugs! When a Fleshpound is spotted God, he's all lit up! Mutant dumptruck ahoy! Bloody hell, what's he got on his arms? Check out those S&M mittens... Christ, don't let that big bugger near me! Oh, crap. Don't let that big bugger near me! Okay, you're huge. Work out much? Geez, that's a big one. Oh geez, that one's big. Someone hitting the evil monster gym? When a Gorefast is spotted He's gonna hurt someone if he ain't careful! Ugh, someone needs some skin. Jesus, mind that bloody great knife! Jesus, mind that loving great blade! Watch the blade on that thing! Christ! He's been out in the sun for too long! Hell, has he been out in the sun for too long? Now that's a knife! Fake tan, much? When a Scrake is spotted Mind where you're waving that, pal! Doctor with a chainsaw! Yeah, that makes sense! Please tell me that's not a chainsaw he's carrying. Anyone order a chainsaw-wielding lunatic? A chainsaw? You have got to be kidding me, pal. A chainsaw? Oh, you have got to be kidding me. A chainsaw? Really? Oh God, it's chainsaw massacre time! God, chainsaw massacre time! Great, chainsaw massacre time! When a Siren is spotted Get her before she gets too close! Ah! Don't let that ugly bag get too close! Christ! She's ugly! For God's sake, don't let her scream! Crap, she's ugly! For God's sake, don't let her scream! Ugh, that's a face for radio. Kill her, quick! Before she opens her gob! Kill her before she opens her gob! Don't let her scream! Keep that ugly bitch quiet! When a Stalker is heard I hear her, but where the hell is she? I can hear the bitch, but where is she? Invisible women out to kill ya? Oh, great. Invisible, murderous women... Just what I wanted. drat! It's that invisible bitch again! Damnit! Invisible bitch again! Dammit! Another invisible bitch! When wielding the axe Come on if you think you're hard enough! Trees, mutants... same thing. In your face, pal! Up close and personal time. Come get some of this, you ugly bastards! Come get some, you ugly bastards! Unlimited ammo. Nice. Stitch that, you arsehole! Stitch this, you arseholes! Let's go, mutant freaks. When wielding the L.A.W. This is a real weapon. This is what I call a weapon. Okay. No more mister bloody nice guy! Okay, no more mister nice guy! Size is everything, lads. Now I am going to get serious. Now, I am getting serious. Oh, I think I'm in love. When wielding dual handcannons Yeah, one in each hand. Whoa, these'll keep my hands full! Two bloody great handfuls. Nice one! Two bloody great handfuls! Twice the bullet loving! .50 cal fun time! .50 calibre time! This'll sort you bastards. Twin .50 cals! Come and get it! When wielding the Hunting shotgun Boomstick time! Double-barreled! What's not to love? Both barrels for you, you bastards! Both barrels for you bastards. Two barrels, twice the fun. Now this is a big sodding gun! Ha! Now this is a shotgun!
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Apr 17, 2015 22:58
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My forefathers fought a goddamn war so I wouldn't have to cowtow to fuckers who sound like this 
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Apr 17, 2015 22:58
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Cut out all this clever talk about milicents. Just because the Police haven't picked you up lately doesn't, as you very well know, mean that you've not been up to some nastiness. There was a bit of a nastiness last night, yes. Some very extreme nastiness, yes. A few of a certain Billyboy's friends were ambluenced off late last night, yes. Your name was mentioned, the word's got thru to me by the usual channels. Certain friends of yours were named also. Oh, nobody can prove anything about anybody as usual, but I'm warning you, little Alex, being a good friend to you as always, the one man in this sore and sick community who wants to save you from yourself.
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Apr 17, 2015 22:59
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this thread is nothing without bollocks
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Apr 17, 2015 23:01
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Ramsus posted:Medic! Proper chuffed, you must be, bloke.
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Apr 17, 2015 23:01
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON-7v4qnHP8
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Apr 17, 2015 23:04
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Aye
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Apr 17, 2015 23:10
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I'm gay and European
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Apr 17, 2015 23:13
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oi init bruvv, got my 4 by 4 ravers and bass line skankers init sket. we goin to blow this place out wicked blud. ahhh mate thats well dog has it bluddd oi lets sketchit yo ay and hit the legs this is well waffle munter bruv.
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Apr 17, 2015 23:15
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Puddin' crackers
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Apr 17, 2015 23:16
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filth
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Apr 17, 2015 23:18
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Ramsus posted:Medic! same m8
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Apr 17, 2015 23:19
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well butter my bollocks blue
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Apr 17, 2015 23:22
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time to smoke some fags
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Apr 17, 2015 23:23
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yalright mate we were smoking a spliff down the park when the busies showed up and we legged it
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Apr 17, 2015 23:23
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blimey, aatrek is a nonce.
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Apr 17, 2015 23:42
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ElectricSheep posted:oi init bruvv, got my 4 by 4 ravers and bass line skankers init sket. we goin to blow this place out wicked blud. ahhh mate thats well dog has it bluddd oi lets sketchit yo ay and hit the legs this is well waffle munter bruv. No offense, but it's not the mid-00's anymore. Nobody talks like that now.
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Apr 17, 2015 23:44
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disagree i was on a train through the midlands and heard a guy doing that with a wolves accent last week
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Apr 17, 2015 23:47
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Not that they ever did tho.
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Apr 17, 2015 23:47
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friend of the family steve stole the footie
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Apr 17, 2015 23:47
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Xaris posted:friend of the family steve stole the footie lol
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Apr 17, 2015 23:47
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Ramsus posted:Medic! Brilliant. Good work. oval office. gently caress off. Job done.
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Apr 17, 2015 23:56
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Knyteguy posted:Cut out all this clever talk about milicents. Just because the Police haven't picked you up lately doesn't, as you very well know, mean that you've not been up to some nastiness. There was a bit of a nastiness last night, yes. Some very extreme nastiness, yes. A few of a certain Billyboy's friends were ambluenced off late last night, yes. Your name was mentioned, the word's got thru to me by the usual channels. Certain friends of yours were named also. Oh, nobody can prove anything about anybody as usual, but I'm warning you, little Alex, being a good friend to you as always, the one man in this sore and sick community who wants to save you from yourself. this post is cool
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Apr 18, 2015 00:06
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i say, smashing patriarchy you've got going here 
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Apr 18, 2015 01:03
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*shites from mouth*
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Apr 18, 2015 01:04
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*fahhhhhts*
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Apr 18, 2015 01:05
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whoflungpoop posted:*fahhhhhts* Nah it'd be more like *pwwwuhheeeeEEeeEEeeEEEEEEEEEEppt* cuz they're such tightasses you see 
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Apr 18, 2015 01:05
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Mmmyes, niuw, eh wuntid to tawk to you ull ubut the steet uf de culunies in sith ist ayz-ya.
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Apr 18, 2015 01:07
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darby
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Apr 18, 2015 01:07
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yer maws pish flaps urr keepin ma ears wahrm
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Apr 18, 2015 01:08
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I am gasping for a human being to smoke.
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Apr 18, 2015 23:25
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go to the bogs then
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Apr 18, 2015 23:26
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i love my dead gay empire
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Apr 18, 2015 23:27
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:25 |
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u wot m8 shut ya gob ya slag
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Apr 18, 2015 23:59
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