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naem
May 29, 2011

http://m.imgur.com/gallery/CskgIwY

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Tashan Dorrsett
Apr 10, 2015

by Deplorable exmarx

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

killmeimmafailure posted:

Yeah but what do they bench?




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfDxg0pJAX4

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

killmeimmafailure posted:

Yeah but what do they bench?
dunno cuz gorillas don't give a gently caress about exercise but they can deadlift like 4000 pounds.

basically a gorilla can lift a truck clean off the ground

gently caress your puny human muscles

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Smaller primates like chimps also spend the whole day climbing trees which is another reason why they are swole compared to your average human.

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme

see ths. look how fast that gorilla is. that one hit could crush a human's skull. they would stand no chance.

the night dad
Oct 23, 2006

by XyloJW

etalian posted:

Smaller primates like chimps also spend the whole day climbing trees which is another reason why they are swole compared to your average human.

And w/ natural selection the ape nerds that sucked at climbing trees are long dead. Each new generation brings a stronger, faster, super ape to the table.

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme
i wonder if any apes are good at video games

the night dad
Oct 23, 2006

by XyloJW

killmeimmafailure
Apr 19, 2015

by Nyc_Tattoo
I'd fight a monkey. El mono es no match for my fists of fury.

I wouldn't win, but I'd get a few clean blows in. Like if it stays off the ground. Keep him at distance

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

Concerned Citizen posted:

see ths. look how fast that gorilla is. that one hit could crush a human's skull. they would stand no chance.

the trick is to not get hit. always stay one step ahead of the gorilla

kecske
Feb 28, 2011

it's round, like always

Diesel Fucker
Aug 14, 2003

I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.

killmeimmafailure posted:

Yeah but what do they bench?

retards who get too close

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Most memorable ape in the new Planet of the Apes movies, was Maurice


Plague inc had a new tie-in plague which was pretty neat, basically a challenge of keeping your apes alive while trying to wipe out humanity.

Ivor Biggun
Apr 30, 2003

A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula

Lipstick Apathy

killmeimmafailure posted:

I'd fight a monkey. El mono es no match for my fists of fury.

I wouldn't win, but I'd get a few clean blows in. Like if it stays off the ground. Keep him at distance

So you're effectively volunteering to have your face and genitals ripped off by an angry simian?
Or were you volunteering to fight one of the small monkeys like a Pygmy marmoset or a tamarin?

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme

TEAYCHES posted:

the trick is to not get hit. always stay one step ahead of the gorilla

you can't stay one step ahead. they're gunning for you. they're too fast and strong.

killmeimmafailure
Apr 19, 2015

by Nyc_Tattoo

Ivor Biggun posted:

So you're effectively volunteering to have your face and genitals ripped off by an angry simian?
Or were you volunteering to fight one of the small monkeys like a Pygmy marmoset or a tamarin?

Come on, I'm retarded but I'm not stupid. I'd want him to be in the same weight class as me. I, too, would aim for the balls. Mutually assured infertility

Carol Pizzamom
Jul 13, 2006

a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

killmeimmafailure posted:

Come on, I'm retarded but I'm not stupid. I'd want him to be in the same weight class as me. I, too, would aim for the balls. Mutually assured infertility

Dude a chimp of your weight would gently caress you up

Humans are tool users. We fight poo poo like that with groups of people wielding bows, spears, and guns and poo poo. I wouldn't even bet on myself + a knife vs a chimp of the same weight

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=943pcaqVQos


Nckdictator fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Apr 19, 2015

de_dust
Jan 21, 2009

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
http://orangutan.or.id/ponys-new-life-2

orangutan was shaved and dressed as woman and made into a ape hooker.

ape rape indeed

Ivor Biggun
Apr 30, 2003

A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula

Lipstick Apathy

I really want the RLM guys to do that movie on a Best of the Worst segment.

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone

de_dust posted:

http://orangutan.or.id/ponys-new-life-2

orangutan was shaved and dressed as woman and made into a ape hooker.

ape rape indeed

loving apes scares me.

Uberskooper
Apr 30, 2007
Skoops up goood
I kind of hate all apes and monkies and lust for their death.

de_dust
Jan 21, 2009

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Nckdictator posted:

loving apes scares me.

yeah, but would you... you know... try it?

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Carol Pizzamom posted:

Dude a chimp of your weight would gently caress you up

Humans are tool users. We fight poo poo like that with groups of people wielding bows, spears, and guns and poo poo. I wouldn't even bet on myself + a knife vs a chimp of the same weight

We're lucky we're smart because outside of tools and traps, our only advantage is endurance and that doesn't matter much when everything chasing you is twice as fast for the first mile.

snuggle baby luvs hugs
Aug 30, 2005
can someone say a few words for those on the front lines that have died or will die to keep us safe from the apes

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Hey guys what's up? :cool:

Cabrini-Green Tea
Aug 20, 2009

wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'
Apes loving scare me too OP. thats why i stay out of north omaha.

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

TEAYCHES posted:

i mean someone with the strength & speed of mike tyson and the agility & wisdom of bruce lee, trained from birth to fight apes, could defeat an ape in a fight

witness the hubris of man. it's attitudes like this that leads man to doom. we will never outgrow our desire for violence, because somewhere in the back of our mind we will always think "i could definitely take [any given thing] in a fight."

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
He'd probably do the same to you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1k

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009


hosed up if true

Pneub
Mar 12, 2007

I'M THE DEVIL, AND I WILL WASH OVER THE EARTH AND THE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF ALL THE SINNERS

I AM REBORN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AabGdnTxqD0

Mordacai
May 23, 2015

by Ralp
need tranqulizer gun to put stop on this very big one.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=732_1433880707

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
i love waetching apes gently caress

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ProperCauldron
Oct 11, 2004

nah chill
Voted 5

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