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there are 10 kinds of people in the world...people who know binary, people who don't, and 8 other kinds of people besides that |
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Apr 18, 2015 18:15
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an infinite number of mathematicians go to a bar. the first one asks for a beer. the second one asks for half a beer. the bartender says "whoa, guys--we don't serve half beers here." ham_sanitizer fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Apr 18, 2015 |
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Apr 18, 2015 18:15
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if a statistician has his head in an oven and his feet in ice, he will say that on average he usually feels better than this. |
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Apr 18, 2015 18:16
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some scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?" the engineer said: "it is approximately 3 and 1/7" the physicist said: "it is 3.14159" there wasn't a mathematician there |
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Apr 18, 2015 18:22
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Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...Can't I just have some Prozac?" |
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Apr 18, 2015 18:24
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there are two kinds of people in this world: those what know what innatism is, and those who don't have to ask |
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Apr 18, 2015 18:31
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Knock knock. It's open! |
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Apr 18, 2015 19:39
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Where does an 800-pound gorilla sit? Nowhere, it died of morbid obesity. |
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Apr 18, 2015 19:48
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Einstein, Newton and Stephen Hawking walk (or roll) into a bar. Bartender says, what is this, another holodeck episode? |
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Apr 18, 2015 20:09
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man: waiter? waiter! there are no dumplings in my soup, and this bowl is absolutely huge. far too large for a starter. i demand an explanation. waiter: sorry, sir, i think you misunderstood our menu - you ordered the one-tonne soup! |
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Apr 18, 2015 20:26
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So did he get a smaller bowl? |
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Apr 18, 2015 20:54
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he didnt. sad day.
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Apr 19, 2015 00:05
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Xx=X A Harry Nilsson Song and it's additive inverse ☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭ |
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Apr 19, 2015 00:43
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Xx=X too dumb and ignorant to get this smart joke |
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Apr 19, 2015 00:44
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ham_sanitizer posted:an infinite number of mathematicians go to a bar. |
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Apr 19, 2015 04:20
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how do you tell an extroverted engineer use an online personality quiz ---------------- |
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Apr 19, 2015 04:24
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Xx=X put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up?
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Apr 19, 2015 04:26
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Xx=X |
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Apr 19, 2015 04:56
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A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!" |
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Apr 19, 2015 05:42
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Twilight Matrix posted:A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!" women in science is funny to you? ---------------- |
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Apr 19, 2015 05:46
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ham_sanitizer posted:there are 10 kinds of people in the world...people who know binary, people who don't, and 8 other kinds of people besides that There are "eleven" types people in this world. People who know binary, people who don't, and people who only know that joke.
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Apr 19, 2015 06:04
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(shamelessly stolen from Spider Robinson) In the year 2744 a human survey team discovered a planet whose sole inhabitant was an enormous humanoid, three miles high and made of something very like granite. At first it was mistaken for an immense statue left by some vanished race of giants, for it squatted motionless on a vast rocky plain, exhibiting no outward sign of life. It had legs (two), but apparently never rose to walk on them. It had a mouth, but never ate or spoke. It had what appeared to be a perfectly functional brain, the size of a fifty-story condominium, but the organ lay dormant, electrochemical activity at a standstill. Yet it lived. This puzzled the hell out of the scientists, who tried everything they could think of to elicit some sign of life from the behemoth--in vain. It just squatted, motionless and seemingly thoughtless, until one day a xenobiologist, frustrated beyond endurance, screamed, "How could evolution give legs, mouth and brain to a creature that doesn't use them?" It happened that he was the first one to ask a direct question in the thing's presence. It rose with a thunderous rumble to its full height, scattering the clouds, pondered for a second, boomed, "It couldn't," and squatted down again. "My God," exclaimed the xenobiologist. "Of course! It only stands to reason."
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Apr 19, 2015 06:12
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Questions, Comments, Suggestions? email GBSNiteCrew@gmail.com. 
Put this in your sig if you stand with Diggity Dog
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Why does cosmos have a plural form? |
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Apr 19, 2015 06:19
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DeepQantas posted:Why does cosmos have a plural form? Why?
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Apr 19, 2015 06:21
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when you order 2 of them
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Apr 19, 2015 06:21
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a higgs boson walks into a church. the priest says to it, "sorry, we don't allow higgs bosons in here." the higgs boson replies, "well gently caress you!" and storms out.
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Apr 19, 2015 06:30
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particles can't talk
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Apr 19, 2015 06:48
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smoobles posted:when you order 2 of them Makes no sense |
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Apr 19, 2015 06:54
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 18:58 |
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when i order a Cosmo i demand that it expand, accelerating in its expansion. the bartender thinks I'm weird until I explain the science behind my request, and then i get kicked out
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Apr 19, 2015 07:02
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