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The thing you gotta do is sort all the screws and poo poo into bowls. I always wound using the wrong one somewhere before I started doing it that way.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 07:25 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 02:53 |
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many tools can be used to dilate holes but the wrong one will just create more problems
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 07:37 |
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Hopper posted:What? "meatballs"? Over here in Germany it says "Köttbollar" to stay with the Swedish theme. I guess Ikea in the US lowered its standards to accommodate people with an intellect so low they can't even assemble ikea furniture properly... sorry but the very same country has trained me (like all americans) to associate nonsense gibberish umlaut words with disposable lego furniture, and that's just not appetizing
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 08:42 |
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The Kallax shelving is in every room in my house. I even use them as nightstands, dressers and the entertainment centers in my bedrooms. $65 each
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 09:03 |
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there snothing ikea can do that arranging some mudpiles cant do
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 09:08 |
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I used to work at IKEA and jesus h christ it's terrible. Sure the benefits are good (because socialist utopia) and there's free coffee but the customers are all entitled assholes and the employees (except for the very small number of cool people) were dead-eyed suburbanites who drank the kool aid because their lives were so vacuous and banal that "a better every day life for the many people" sounded like some higher loving purpose. The brainwashing was great too. There was an awesome training about Global Responsibility or something that we all had to go through where they showed us all these videos about the different places around the world that the stuff is made. When they get to the children in the textile factories in Bangladesh we're all like "whoa whoa wait a sec child labor???" but they're all "well yeah, technically, but we make them go to school for half the day, and the money they make really helps out their families." War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, Ignorance Is Strength, Child Labor Is Economic Opportunity. i guess what i'm saying here is that IKEA hates you, too, OP.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 09:49 |
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i bought a huge desk called the "jerker" once. the instruction manual for the assembly of the jerker was amazing. i probably could have gotten a better desk on the free section of craigslist though, but the experience of assembling a jerker was worth it alone.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 09:55 |
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i've spent the last two days knee deep in IKEA kits, OP . but in fairness, i've been doing it to crawl up the furniture ladder from "absolute busted garbage cheap poo poo" to "basic bitch decorgasm gear", so i think i can get some motherfucking slack here.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 10:10 |
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I hate ikea because it seems like a lot of people with job situations like mine where they're only living somewhere 2-3 years before going to another job want ikea and only ikea to furnish their apartments. So if you're looking for used furniture, you will always only find ikea for sale, and when you move out, nobody will want to buy anything that isn't ikea. I am trying to sell some of my furniture I bought here and nobody wants it because I got it somewhere else. Honestly the ikea furniture here isn't even that much cheaper than the alternatives. I paid around 1200 CHF for my sofa including delivery, and a comparable one at ikea was 999+delivery fees, and was just cheap foam crap. So why is it the default for non-permanent furniture? Laziness? I don't get it.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 10:12 |
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The Rage posted:The Kallax shelving is in every room in my house. I even use them as nightstands, dressers and the entertainment centers in my bedrooms. $65 each Kallax is the inferior version of expedit. Another product Ikea discontinued because they wanted to save a few more cents on wood pulp.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 10:38 |
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 10:49 |
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Use a drill you dickless wonder.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 10:52 |
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I was in the same boat last week. I work looking after mentally ill clients and was preparing a room building a bed. Same poo poo. Screw didnt fit. Luckily we had 5 of them in a store room and the next one worked. Made me wonder though. What would it be like if someone built this crap at their own home. Guess it got answered. Thanks!
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 10:54 |
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It's kinda sad the find out I live in a world where the only tools most people have is the Allen wrench that come in their McFurniture kit.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 11:02 |
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Frankenstyle posted:It's kinda sad the find out I live in a world where the only tools most people have is the Allen wrench that come in their McFurniture kit. if you lose that or need a peg for a bed from 1962, don't worry. There is a counter with spares!
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 11:07 |
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the wood in ikea furniture has more voids than the phantom zone
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 12:18 |
anyone who rents their dwelling but owns furniture is a slave, anyway. until you own your own dwelling, there's really no reason to own furniture - just get furnished apartments.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 12:31 |
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IzzyFnStradlin posted:anyone who rents their dwelling but owns furniture is a slave, anyway. Sometimes furnished apartments are better, but often you have to pay extra for it - I've seen as high as ~80 dollars extra a month for furnished. I guess if you're only going to be renting for a year or two it'd be cheaper than buying your own, but in the long term I think buying your own furniture wins out. Either way you're paying for the furniture, so I don't see why it matters.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 12:36 |
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less poo poo to carry on your oxcart on the way to the next slave gig
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 13:10 |
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You could also just buy some similarly sized wood screws if you're vehemently opposed to drilling. The nice old man at Home Depot can help you figure out what size you need, tiny bitch.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 13:57 |
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Murphy Brownback posted:I hate ikea because it seems like a lot of people with job situations like mine where they're only living somewhere 2-3 years before going to another job want ikea and only ikea to furnish their apartments. So if you're looking for used furniture, you will always only find ikea for sale, and when you move out, nobody will want to buy anything that isn't ikea. I am trying to sell some of my furniture I bought here and nobody wants it because I got it somewhere else. Honestly the ikea furniture here isn't even that much cheaper than the alternatives. I paid around 1200 CHF for my sofa including delivery, and a comparable one at ikea was 999+delivery fees, and was just cheap foam crap. So why is it the default for non-permanent furniture? Laziness? I don't get it. It surprises me that IKEA stuff has a strong second hand market. I thought one of the big selling points was that a lot of their stuff is so cheap it's basically disposable and you won't feel bad about chucking it in the dumpster when you move.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 14:04 |
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lol at buying overpriced plastic furniture lol at not doing research on every single purchase you make lol at not collecting junk furniture from craigslist/the highway lol at not being a hoarder for fun and profit(?)
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 14:04 |
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How can you hate a store that has a line of furniture that is named "Fartyg" Farty-G. I'm giggling just thinking of that name.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 14:06 |
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why not just go to walmart and buy a plastic table or some poo poo
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 14:07 |
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IzzyFnStradlin posted:anyone who rents their dwelling but owns furniture is a slave, anyway. Or you could go to the thrift store like a normal person What is wrong with you people that you think furniture ownership is for landowners Have you ever heard of movers? Edit: we can't all live in halfway houses, Izzy
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 14:12 |
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Return Of JimmyJars posted:If you're not putting together ikea furniture with power tools and high strength wood bonding glue u r a basic bitch
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 14:22 |
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Wee Tinkle Wand posted:Everything you buy at Ikea is helping line the pockets of a literal Nazi who managed to escape the 40s without getting picked up for it and he uses loopholes with his companies so that basically zero taxes are paid on anything they sell. This is the one major thing I don't like about Ikea. I presume the foreign subsidiaries at least pay their taxes, so while you may be stiffing the Swedish taxpayer you aren't necessary dicking your own community. But furniture options other than "equip a wood shop and make your own" aren't that great in general. Everything at HAUS OF SOFAS is incredible poo poo made by Chinese semi-indentured labour and picked out of a catalogue by the store management, who are charging you 5-10 times the unit price. You just don't see the terrible quality because you aren't assembling it with an allen key. And if people like the OP think IKEA's quality is bad, I double dog dare you to buy flatpack from your local warehouse store. I was given a free, unused B&Q bookshelf once. Within a couple days of putting my kid's books on it, every shelf bowed so much they were about a mm from falling off their dowels. I had to break out a 2x4 and basically make knees for them. Ninja Pangolin posted:When they get to the children in the textile factories in Bangladesh we're all like "whoa whoa wait a sec child labor???" but they're all "well yeah, technically, but we make them go to school for half the day, and the money they make really helps out their families." War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, Ignorance Is Strength, Child Labor Is Economic Opportunity. This is actually not (or not only) because IKEA's founder is a "bootstraps" Randian nutjob. It's an approach that many (though obviously not all) development organisations tacitly or openly support. You have vast numbers of children in the Subcontinent that their state can't support and that parents can't afford to keep, or who don't have parents or guardians at all. This may well be the fault of lovely governments, colonialism and exploitation, and yes, you want to move these societies to a position where kids don't have to do 16 hour shifts in a steel works to feed themselves (or sometimes their siblings), but if you banned child labour outright and somehow enforced that law, you would have a lot of dead kids. The best possible thing those kids can hope for may well be to work in a non-life-threatening environment for reasonable hours, while earning a subsistence or very basic living wage, and getting an education and a safe place to live. Remember that many poor kids in Bangladesh do dangerous jobs, get no education and have no safe, secure place to live.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 14:56 |
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lol if you don't shop at Room & Board where everything looks like it came from IKEA but costs 10x as much
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 15:13 |
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Saga posted:And if people like the OP think IKEA's quality is bad, I double dog dare you to buy flatpack from your local warehouse store. I was given a free, unused B&Q bookshelf once. Within a couple days of putting my kid's books on it, every shelf bowed so much they were about a mm from falling off their dowels. I had to break out a 2x4 and basically make knees for them. I buy the furniture of dead old people instead. It is all made from solid heavy oak. You won't ever break it, the surface can be refinished infinitely and it costs about the same as the Ikea equivalent made of cardboard. Downside is that you can pick up any piece of Ikea furniture by yourself and move it up a stair of load it in a truck. You probably can't do this with a oak bookcase. If it comes it a flatpack it isn't real furniture.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 15:14 |
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HEY CONSUMER If you can't handle assembling a bedframe, your Hovetrekke home exerbike will be impossible.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 15:43 |
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get the hemnes u fuckin scrub
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 15:51 |
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Those honeycomb mirrors are pretty bomb though. Ten @ $15 and then you can do whatever pattern you want.
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 20:03 |
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Pollyanna posted:this was not tested on children, this was tested on loving mensa assholes. i know children pretty drat well, i post on SA Have we paged S.M.L. yet?
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 20:10 |
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just smash a bunch of gigantic nails in at haphazard angles be sure to leave them half exposed to tear off your nutsack as you stumble into bed at 3am
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 20:10 |
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i like to sip on my caramel macchiato while i'm putting together my ikea
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 20:14 |
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Vorik posted:i like to sip on my caramel macchiato while i'm putting together my ikea sounds like a relaxing and wholesome way to spend a sunday afternoon with the one you love
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 23:06 |
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Dick Fagballzson posted:It surprises me that IKEA stuff has a strong second hand market. I thought one of the big selling points was that a lot of their stuff is so cheap it's basically disposable and you won't feel bad about chucking it in the dumpster when you move. No see they offer fun looking cheap stuff to lure you in and then you spend like $4000 somehow
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# ? Apr 20, 2015 23:51 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 02:53 |
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Little known actual fact. Ikea furniture and Ikea meatballs are made of the same substance. If you've got some old Ikea shelve you don't like any more just cut them down into small pieces, boil them, ball them and you have a something just as edible as from the actual Ikea food court.
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# ? Apr 21, 2015 00:19 |