ITT we're in a relationship with a horrible person

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT we're in a relationship with a horrible person

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Me and Brittney got in an argument last night and she stabbed me. It's alright though, she just gets like that when she's in one of her moods.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:19

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:46

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Gaunab posted:

Me and Brittney got in an argument last night and she stabbed me. It's alright though, she just gets like that when she's in one of her moods.

I love you, OP.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:20

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

that bitch went to starbucks on the way home and didn't even offer to get me a caramel macchiato

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:21

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I thought they banned glitbl threads.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:21

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

gently caress you you loving limp dicked human being op i hope your mother disowns your lazy smelly rear end and you know whats worse? YOU loving SUCK AT TF2

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:21

cthulusnewzulubbq: Jan 26, 2009; I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.

~kisses~

~smoohchiez**

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:23

Stick Figure Mafia: Dec 11, 2004

im everyone in this thread so far

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:36

ghlbtsk: Apr 19, 2005; these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

it's ok though, the great sex will last forever

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:40

Stuffguyman: Jun 3, 2007

Finally, someone who understands me.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:47

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

i am lowtax's employees, friends, ex wives, girlfiend, & daughter

# ? Apr 22, 2015 21:48

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

it is true that women be shoppin tho

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:13

Apthous: Nov 2, 2014; by XyloJW

Chris "Felony" Brown posted:

Deuces.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:19

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3: Nov 15, 2003

life sure is dull in this bunker

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:24

FAROOQ: Aug 20, 2014; by Smythe

zoepost.txt

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:24

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

*"ironically" hits on all my friends*

*joy visibly leaves body the second SO enters the room*

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:37

mazzi Chart Czar: Sep 24, 2005

Can you stop eating so much garlic. I can smell it coming out of your pores.

# ? Apr 22, 2015 22:39

Sic Semper Goon: Mar 1, 2015; Eu tu?; Switchblade Switcharoo

He/She/It's better than nothing.

I don't mind being beaten to death by my convicted murderer / rapist partner. C'est la vie.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 07:07

kazr: Jan 28, 2005

*gets home from work, sits in car for 45 minutes dreading walking through the door while fiddling with phone*

# ? Apr 23, 2015 07:09

DONKEY SALAMI: Jun 28, 2008; donkey? donkey?

Do you have to breath like that? Can't you do it quieter?

# ? Apr 23, 2015 07:12

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

*posts normally*

:smith:

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:45

son gay. so what: Mar 13, 2011

*is the horrible person*

*sleeps with all her friends*

IM SORRY, I LOVE YOU

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:46

Razorwired: Dec 7, 2008; It's about to start!

*uses this thread to talk about my IRL relationship*

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:48

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I'm going to commit suicide right now.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:51

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

JebanyPedal posted:

I'm going to commit suicide right now.

Aww, that's too bad.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:53

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Feel like doodoo so I'm killing my dang self.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:55

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

I guess this is goodbye

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:57

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Kill yourself with me.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 08:57

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

Oh god
Oh no
Oh god

# ? Apr 23, 2015 09:00

Sic Semper Goon: Mar 1, 2015; Eu tu?; Switchblade Switcharoo

JebanyPedal posted:

I'm going to commit suicide right now.

Ok, let us know how it goes.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 10:05

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

All my relationships contain at least one horrible person.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 10:07

son gay. so what: Mar 13, 2011

Motherfucker posted:

All my relationships contain at least one horrible person.

Wipe that poo poo-eating grin off your punchable face, Motherfucker

# ? Apr 23, 2015 10:19

DeepQantas: Jan 13, 2008; Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...

Why don't you just leave the thread?

# ? Apr 23, 2015 10:21

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

*has another boring night doing nothing interesting and having to hold back vicious barbs*

*drinks self stupid then gets into cold bed with cold woman dreading having to repeat the cycle*

*spending 1 hour of silence on public transport while going to job you hate is the most enjoyable part of your miserable life*

# ? Apr 23, 2015 11:27

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Kill me.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 11:31

The Bible: May 8, 2010

Things will improve once we get married.

# ? Apr 23, 2015 12:03

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

*stays together for the kids*

*teaches kids that relationships are pits of despair*

# ? Apr 23, 2015 12:11

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.