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I'm the top floor of a 2family house and my bedroom is right above neighbors bedroom let's call them chris and Jess (those are their names) and I sometimes hear them talking or loving and for awhile now they avoid me like roaches scurrying from the light when I step outside or pull into driveway I think its because I fart a lot in the morning (farting now) and its loud and enjoyable but they probably don't appreciate the rumbling from above Like chris is trying to get some morning play and Jess is getting into it and *farrrreerrrrrrrrrrt* I'm shaking the heavens with butt thunder How do i repair our neighborly relations
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Apr 23, 2015 13:19
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:18 |
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Set your house on fire. Fuel the fire with your farts.
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Apr 23, 2015 13:22
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Press your arse against the floor while letting rip, that should enhance it.
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Apr 23, 2015 13:23
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record your farts and post them itt
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Apr 23, 2015 13:25
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OK I will record them tomorrow I'm strictly an AM first thing farter Farting during the day is unsavory
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Apr 23, 2015 13:29
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This is a most troubling situation and I am glad you sought the expertise of GBS for help. Obviously, you must give them bundt cake and a potted violet with a note attached, in it apologizing for the outwardly apparent symptoms of your genetic disorder. Not only will this repair past transgressions, but it will also pave the way for you to fart as freely as you like in the future.
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Apr 23, 2015 14:23
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Embrace your gift and shove a tuba up your rear end (not the whole thing, just the mouthpiece, don't be a massive throbbing sillyass) and share those reverberations with everyone!
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Apr 23, 2015 14:26
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You should take on Mick the Master Farter from Australia in the world Farting Championship. Just be careful to not be disqualified for following through.
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Apr 23, 2015 14:46
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You should say to them "I can tell by the sounds that I really like the way you two gently caress."
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Apr 23, 2015 14:48
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Press your rear end against the shower wall for extra amplification
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Apr 23, 2015 14:51
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tell them to stop loving so loud because it's interrupting your farts
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Apr 23, 2015 14:52
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get one of those dog cones, put it on the floor, and fart into the cone
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Apr 23, 2015 14:53
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Sometimes I deliberately press my rear end against the radiator and fart. That way I'm sure my downstairs neighbour can also enjoy it. "pprrrrrBWOOOOOOOOROOOOOARRR"
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Apr 23, 2015 15:06
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Get a wheelchair (inspired by your avatar), and roll yourself about in the driveway. When they ask what happened, just look them in the eye and say "Fart broke me fart bone".
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Apr 23, 2015 15:07
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you are a loving monster
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Apr 23, 2015 15:08
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happyhippy posted:Get a wheelchair (inspired by your avatar), and roll yourself about in the driveway.
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Apr 23, 2015 15:11
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dMastri posted:I'm the top floor of a 2family house and my bedroom is right above neighbors bedroom let's call them chris and Jess (those are their names) and I sometimes hear them talking or loving and for awhile now they avoid me like roaches scurrying from the light when I step outside or pull into driveway are you fat? it is probably not so much the noise as the smell as there hasnt been a fat person in existence who hasnt had rancid dead animal smelling farts to fix the relationship you need to bring them beer and/or wine and maybe like $5 gift certificate to the waffle house, make sure the beer is old english and the wine comes in a box thats how they know you are classy and good
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Apr 23, 2015 15:18
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(farting now)
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Apr 23, 2015 15:34
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Lt. Tanaka posted:This is a most troubling situation and I am glad you sought the expertise of GBS for help. This, but fart on the cake and violet before giving it to them. tomstuart posted:you need to bring them beer and/or wine and maybe like $5 gift certificate to the waffle house, make sure the beer is old english and the wine comes in a box thats how they know you are classy and good Also open the bottles to the beer/wine and fart in them, and fart inside the gift card's envelope.
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Apr 23, 2015 15:37
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFLw8aH-M2w is this you op?
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Apr 23, 2015 15:43
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do this every time they gently caress https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3ZFIYaoWiY
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Apr 23, 2015 15:56
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ask them if they hear fart ghost too
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Apr 23, 2015 16:36
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You're probably not farting loud ENOUGH. Get off the bed altogether. Take off your pants and push your sphincter directly against the floor and let it out. If your balls aren't hurting from the vibrating floor then you're doing it wrong. Good luck.
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Apr 23, 2015 17:10
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i would like to gently caress Jess if thats ok with them
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Apr 23, 2015 17:14
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Cuck Chris and make him listen to your farts while you gently caress Jess.
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Apr 23, 2015 17:26
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Sneak downstairs and fart in their bedsheets before they have sex. Fart directly into the ventilation.
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Apr 23, 2015 17:59
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dMastri posted:I'm the top floor of a 2family house and my bedroom is right above neighbors bedroom let's call them chris and Jess (those are their names) and I sometimes hear them talking or loving and for awhile now they avoid me like roaches scurrying from the light when I step outside or pull into driveway record your farts and arrange them into a jaunty little tune with like audacity or something. write lyrics about how much you cherish your friendship with them, but you also cherish your farts in the same way. hopefully they'll get the idea and begin to look forward to your morning symphonies
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Apr 23, 2015 18:03
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Splatmaster posted:Embrace your gift and shove a tuba up your rear end (not the whole thing, just the mouthpiece, don't be a massive throbbing sillyass) and share those reverberations with everyone! 
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Apr 23, 2015 18:10
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I fart in the morning too.
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Apr 23, 2015 18:11
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lot of excellent advice in here, seems the majority vote is bare rear end floor farting (i have hardwood floors) coworkers want to get some beers tonight so i'm making them go to this awful local mexican place so i can bring my A game tomorrow morning fart update: no farts since 8am
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Apr 23, 2015 18:38
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Jesus...
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Apr 23, 2015 18:40
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Yell out "I'm so sorry" every time you fart. Fart free and loud knowing you are not a vindictive flatulator.
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Apr 23, 2015 18:57
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cr05580n35 posted:Yell out "I'm so sorry" every time you fart. No man should ever have to apologize for farting. Fart loud, fart proud.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:27
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is Jess available to gently caress? did you ask yet?
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Apr 23, 2015 19:28
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Drill a hole into their heat or air ducts and fart directly into it so your poo poo fumes get circulated in their place
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Apr 23, 2015 19:30
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Jenkem Delivery posted:Drill a hole into their heat or air ducts and fart directly into it so your poo poo fumes get circulated in their place hosed up if true.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:31
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Jenkem Delivery posted:Drill a hole into their heat or air ducts and fart directly into it so your poo poo fumes get circulated in their place actually drill a hole in their bathroom above their shower so you can see Jess naked
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Apr 23, 2015 19:31
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dad gay. so what posted:actually drill a hole in their bathroom above their shower so you can see Jess naked When they are gone for the weekend just take out one of the shower walls and cut out a cubby hole and access hatch so you can hide in there and j/o when jess is in the shower
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Apr 23, 2015 19:35
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Jenkem Delivery posted:When they are gone for the weekend just take out one of the shower walls and cut out a cubby hole and access hatch so you can hide in there and j/o when jess is in the shower thats actually a really good idea. hey, OP, do this instead of my idea. also please ask her when she would like to gently caress im super horny.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:36
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 14:18 |
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dad gay. so what posted:thats actually a really good idea. hey, OP, do this instead of my idea. also please ask her when she would like to gently caress im super horny. Would you mind banging her in the shower so I can watch from the wall cubby tia
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Apr 23, 2015 19:38
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