|
*shoots unarmed black man with WWI rifle* *sprays protesters with gluten free organic pepper spray* "whoa, that was a hard days work" *walks into dunkin donuts* "i'll have two dozen glazed donuts and a caramel macchiato" 
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:42
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 10:36 |
|
|
ITT I am a gay retard.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:44
|
|
|
JebanyPedal posted:ITT I am a gay retard. itt more like iet
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:45
|
|
|
 (this is a real nypd cop)
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:50
|
|
|
IzzyFnStradlin posted:
didn't have any spots left for him at goodwill? 
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:53
|
|
|
*i shot black people before it was cool*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:55
|
|
|
"im arresting you for an obscure crime, you probably never heard of it"
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:56
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:*i shot black people before it was cool* "I was shooting unarmed black men before cellphone cameras. You've probably never heard about it."
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:57
|
|
|
IzzyFnStradlin posted:
hahahaha dude wtf ur head is as big as ur torso lmfao. his head is about as big as mr. mackey's on south park.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 16:59
|
|
|
*Judges suspects based on how close their skin tone is to the color of a caramel macchiato*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 17:25
|
|
|
Trast posted:"I was shooting unarmed black men before cellphone cameras. You've probably never heard about it."
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:17
|
|
|
*worn, wooden nightstick is vintage 1937 issue*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:21
|
|
|
*patrols mean streets on a fixie*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:22
|
|
|
*police car has old time bubble light siren on top, rather than the bar LEDs that are standard on modern patrol cars*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:26
|
|
|
*has only squad car with a CB radio, which he uses extensively*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:27
|
|
|
*Beats the irish and italians and has never seen a black man*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:27
|
|
|
I like to play the arrestee's miranda warning on vinyl it just sounds so much richer and fuller
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:32
|
|
|
Applewhite posted:*police car has old time bubble light siren on top, rather than the bar LEDs that are standard on modern patrol cars* you know the michigan state patrol still uses those
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:38
|
|
|
Ya know I never was a fan when we got these new trunking systems, so I still use old Gerty, here. *pats ancient motorola screwed to underside of console* Don't get too many calls, but we keep ourselves busy, don't we, Gerty?
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:39
|
|
|
*uses tesla coil to tase u*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:40
|
|
|
*shoots a white guy because shooting black people is too cliche'*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:40
|
|
|
Lets criminals off the hook if they're into the same bands.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:52
|
|
|
Ya know, yer a good kid. Hell, I used to get my pot off your old man. He still into that? Nice. Lemme bum a smoke. We'll forget all about this 3kilos of coke.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:53
|
|
|
*Runs you over with his fixie*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:54
|
|
|
Sorry Boss, I can't come in today. No, no, I'm physically fine- but I can't find my tweed jacket!
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:56
|
|
|
*ironically hangs out at dunkin donuts all day* *brings his own coffee from a place you've probably never heard of*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:58
|
|
|
Yeah, I'm a cop, but I mean its really just my day job. I want to be a writer. *holds up "portable" Brother typewriter from the 90s*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 18:59
|
|
|
Chief can we switch the mounted patrol over to alpacas? horses are kind played out
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 19:00
|
|
|
*slams crime kingpin onto the hood of his 1983 ford LTD squad car* "and to think i admired some of your early work, you little sellout bitch!"
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 22:22
|
|
|
*tents fingers* Well, I'll let you go if you can answer me just one little question. Buh..uh.. whats that? *smirks* What happens if you connect a CD player to the phono input on an old stereo? Uhh..uhhh. It sounds.. scratchy? *BLAMMO-BULLETTOTHEFACE* Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven. So, I guess I'm dirty newborn hipster cop. (Soon to have my own show on ABC)
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 22:53
|
|
|
*arrests Starbucks barista for defying lawful order to make caramel macchiato.*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 22:55
|
|
|
*covers siren sounds on melodophone* Yeah hear that warmth? The richness? It's a much more authentic sound.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 23:23
|
|
|
*3-9 Dispatch #Go ahead 3-9 *5150 at Starbucks on Burnside by Stadium. #Check 3-9, ready for further *5150, white female, bought Caramel Machiato and added cinnamon to drink; 3-9 en route to county with 1. #Check 3-9, net clear
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 23:31
|
|
|
*patrols streets with a segway*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 23:47
|
|
|
*affer arresting perp, attempts to introduce to some REAL music
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 23:52
|
|
|
ironically guns down a black man
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 23:53
|
|
|
*Sets box on the table in front of the suspect. Pulls out a pair of tweezers* This is an all natural south american interrogation technique. *Lifts a live bullet ant out of the box* You've probably never heard of it. *Applies it to prisoner* Who sold you the weed?
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 23:53
|
|
|
*plants research chemicals on a black suspect*
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2015 23:53
|
|
|
yes major, when the suspect discharged their gun at me i began loading my musket to return fire
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2015 00:22
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 10:36 |
|
|
Knyteguy posted:*i shot black people before it was cool*
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2015 00:25
|
|