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Freudian posted:What the gently caress did you do to piss off Attila that much? totalwarai.txt
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Apr 27, 2015 21:20
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Freudian posted:What the gently caress did you do to piss off Attila that much? Honestly, going by history, isn't existing sufficient, generally?
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Apr 27, 2015 21:21
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Freudian posted:What the gently caress did you do to piss off Attila that much?
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Apr 27, 2015 21:22
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Spoilers: Attila do not even exist yet, this is just your average Hun hateboner
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Apr 27, 2015 21:23
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Look at the bright side, the rough start means you have a more interesting game ahead of you!
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Apr 27, 2015 21:38
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ZearothK posted:Look at the bright side, the rough start means you have a more interesting game ahead of you!
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Apr 27, 2015 21:51
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So just double checking, the Neapolis we're sacking right now is the one in Italy right? The Romans named a few cities after that one.
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Apr 27, 2015 21:55
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Jimmy4400nav posted:So just double checking, the Neapolis we're sacking right now is the one in Italy right? The Romans named a few cities after that one.
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Apr 27, 2015 21:57
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Ofaloaf posted:Yeah, Naples. Should I not crop those screenshots as much, and/or zoom out a bit more? I'm still not sure how big pics can be until it's better to [timg] them. I generally crop them to 1200 pixels across horizontally when it comes to maximum size.
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Apr 27, 2015 22:01
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Ofaloaf posted:Yeah, Naples. Should I not crop those screenshots as much, and/or zoom out a bit more? I'm still not sure how big pics can be until it's better to [timg] them. Nah, you're doing fine, just maybe once in a while take a zoomed out image of where we're at. Since we're migrating all across the world, that can help us get our bearings.
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Apr 27, 2015 22:02
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Is there a way of seeing the whole map? I'd like to see the Huns' path of destruction more clearly. Also your LP has gotten me back into CKII modding.
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Apr 27, 2015 22:04
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Mr.Morgenstern posted:I generally crop them to 1200 pixels across horizontally when it comes to maximum size. Jimmy4400nav posted:Nah, you're doing fine, just maybe once in a while take a zoomed out image of where we're at. Since we're migrating all across the world, that can help us get our bearings.
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Apr 27, 2015 22:08
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Freudian posted:What the gently caress did you do to piss off Attila that much? Hun mechanics spoiler: They are also undefeatable, whenever they lose their last stack, several new stacks them will spawn in Ukraine. Do you own Ukraine? Too bad, Huns own Ukraine. Then at some Attila takes over the horde. As long as he lives, they now get free unit upkeep, several free armies and replacement stacks spawn when ANY of them get destroyed. All these new stacks also happen to be full of various high end units. Your garrison in Ukraine is full of pikes/crossbows and resistant to any amount of horse archers? Too bad, they invented gunpowder a millennium early and they brought some gigantic catapults to hurl barrels of it at you. All these armies are also 100% identical so I hope you like fighting that exact unit composition at least once every turn. Attila himself is also effectively immortal unless you manage to trigger the event chain for his death* so they'll also always have a good general to lead their free endgame stacks too. *Attila's invulnerability is removed if: His stack is defeated in battle. The Attila's stack is NOT destroyed in the battle. The Huns are the attackers. The player faction is the defender. The battle is NOT a city or town battle. The battle is NOT a naval battle. Attila's stack is NOT reinforcing another stack. As you can see, the Hun AI can effectively shut down any attempts to get rid of Attila by not using him to get into an offensive field battle with you. And the Hun AI prefers walking past your armies to burn your cities so good luck with that if you've settled or aren't playing nomads. It's 440 AD in my ERE game and I own the entire map(except for the Hun spawn point) with 10 Hun stacks permanently running around that I can't kill because the big man himself refuses to attack any of my legions. Asehujiko fucked around with this message at 01:50 on Apr 28, 2015 |
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Apr 28, 2015 01:23
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Asehujiko posted:Being the player faction. No really, the Huns in this are hardcoded to hunt down the player above all else. Go live in Morocco? Huns. Ethiopia? More Huns. Persia? Also Huns. That's weird: Attia is hard-coded to die of natural causes in 445.
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Apr 28, 2015 01:25
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That's kinda terrible. Hardcoded and railroaded eh? I can't wait to see the railroading in Total Warhammer. 
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Apr 28, 2015 01:26
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Mr.Morgenstern posted:That's weird: Attia is hard-coded to die of natural causes in 445. e: false alarm, I couldn't remember the exact date so I loaded up my save and was 440 when I stopped, not 450 as I thought. So just 20 more turns of infinite Hun clone armies I guess 
Asehujiko fucked around with this message at 01:54 on Apr 28, 2015 |
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Apr 28, 2015 01:40
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In my Saxon game the Huns are my defensive allies and we have four marriage alliances. One of Gewis' granddaughters is married to Attila and Attila's younger sister is Gewis' wife of his dotage. I haven't fought them once. They roam around my eastern provinces and beat on our mutual enemies. Huns are my bros.
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Apr 28, 2015 02:02
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In my last game, the Huns were best friends with the ERE, with several diplomatic marriages. All of Europe save Britain, Iberia, and Greece was burned to the ground, but the ERE's west flank was happily covered by their Steppe Bros.
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Apr 28, 2015 02:34
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Ofaloaf, you know what must be done. You must marry Attila.
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Apr 28, 2015 02:35
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Ofaloaf, you know what must be done. You must marry Attila. Have you been reading my fanfics?
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Apr 28, 2015 02:36
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Dang. Now THAT is dedication to wiping you out. Thanks for showing Attila Total War! I've been on the fence about getting it. Been trying to like Rome II, but I always end up putting it back down. Have you tried running as either Roman faction? And how bad is it? Keep up the awesome LP!
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Apr 28, 2015 04:06
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Basarin posted:Have you tried running as either Roman faction? And how bad is it? All the factions have a starting difficulty rating. The Visigoths are Easy. The Ostrogoths, IIRC, are Normal. The Huns are Hard. The Western Roman Empire is Legendary.
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Apr 28, 2015 04:17
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Basarin posted:Have you tried running as either Roman faction? And how bad is it? The ERE Campaign is considered 'Very Hard' by the game, as although your starting Empire is very good, you have to deal with both Gothic Hordes at the start, and Huns will probably show up pretty early. Those are just a side note, however, to the absurdly massive armies that the Sassanids will be bringing to bear against you. In Attila, even lovely one province factions can field 2-3 full stacks and the Sassanids start with 7-8 client states. The ERE does however have one of the most broken faction advantages in the game by gaining 5% interest on their treasury at the end of each turn. If you can survive the early game well enough and stash a little away each turn you will rapidly find yourself with infinite money. The WRE otoh is considered Legendary and is by far the most difficult faction in the game. You have a huge Empire, but most of the provinces are really poor and really poorly setup. You also start with 80% corruption so you are only making 1/5 what you normally would. Every other faction (Except the ERE) loathes you and will probably declare war on you unless you invest very heavily in diplomacy. You also have to deal with the fact that almost every horde on the map is making a beeline for your territory. Unrest is high, food is short, and immigration will rapidly spiral out of control. The turns can be a bit of a slog, but managing to save the WRE on very hard/legendary difficulty is really fun. KnoxZone fucked around with this message at 04:54 on Apr 28, 2015 |
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Apr 28, 2015 04:52
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:That's kinda terrible. Hardcoded and railroaded eh? I can't wait to see the railroading in Total Warhammer. Chaos closes on the Imperial Capital 2/3 of your army rebels! So, in spite of that, is Attilla good. And if I autoresolve all battles because I am lazy, is it still good as a pure city builder with pixelmen to throw at other pixelmen.
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Apr 28, 2015 05:07
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Sounds about right, but yikes anyway. Especially with the anti-player program the AI has going. Looking forward to the rest of the LP!
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Apr 28, 2015 05:48
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Huns didn't care for my Vandal horde, it seems they pick on specific factions. I've tried with WRE on normal, abandoned stuff that was hard to defend and tried my best to rebuild economy. It's doable, but not particularily fun. What sucks the most is that if you want to have a stable empire you need to use the "Church stuff" research line, which blocks you from cool Roman stuff, like aqueducts. Also since you cannot set up individual tax rates some expensive buildings that give massive happiness bonus are worthless.Veloxyll posted:
City builder stuff is imbalanced IMHO, with stuff like one garrison line building giving you 5 units and +3 to happiness for 20 food (or something) and one tier up you get 6 units and +5 to happiness but it costs 40. Recruitment and unit boost buildings are weirdly placed. It needs a massive rebalance mod.
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Apr 28, 2015 09:46
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Chapter 4: Nil Desperandum The Huns had tried to finish what they'd begun a generation earlier, when they had slain our king's father on the battlefield, but they failed. They had crossed a sea and chased us nearly to the gates of Rome, and they lost.   The cost of victory is dear, however. Nearly half of the horde had died in that fight, and our future now look uncomfortably uncertain. Blood is on the minds of our people, but who wants another fight with the Huns? The Huns' old king, Uldin, is dead, and their new leader owes his ascension to the Goths' victory. Perhaps he would be amenable to a generous, gold-laden peace?   Yes! But although peace with the Huns is good, total peace doesn't help us out. We still need money, and we're still on the move. The Ostrogothic horde is nearly at the gates of Rome already, so why not give that a shot?  We have to wait a season before we can start, and when we do assault the Eternal City, we do it with the assistance of only four giant ladders on wheels. We'll be attacking the western walls, where the Tiber River runs through town. Two columns, both equipped with two ladders apiece, will approach separate wall sections, so that if one thrust fails there will still be second entry point to rush through.   It goes wrong very quickly. Both of the ladder-towers of our left column catch on fire as they approach the walls, rendering them useless. The right column loses one ladder to fire, but the fourth ladder makes it, and a brutal fight breaks out between the Goths and Romans.   The fight suddenly becomes more tense, as the fourth tower finally succumbs to continued fire from the Roman defensive towers. Our troops on the walls will get no reinforcements until the gates can be opened from the inside, while our remaining troops outside are subject to withering fire.  However! The remainder of the battle turns out to be surprisingly short, as the Roman defences at the walls are the only troops present to defend the city. By the time the troops on the walls can open the city gates for the remainder of the Ostrogothic army, Rome's garrison is already dead.   The year is 397, and the Ostrogoths have sacked Rome. Our basic manpower problem has not faded away, despite our victories! We are now in the heart of the Western Roman Empire, and we need a place to recuperate and rebuild, yet it is still too early to settle down permanently. We need an ally, and so we march south.  If we can take Tarentum, we can likely 'liberate' a friendly Italian ally for ourselves, and camp outside the now-friendly walls of the city. It will take time to build the rams and ladders needed to take on the city walls like we did for Rome, though, so for now we wait.  Our old friends, the Gepids, have decided they want a bit of warfare, and so they've declared war on some nomads called the Roxolani. We agree to join in, since the Gepids and the Roxolani are off in the Balkans and therefore none of what happens there will matter to us. Meanwhile, the siege of Tarentum continues apace, and the weak garrison folds laughably quick once we properly assault its walls. As expected, we're able to liberate 'Italia', and hand control over to a Roman pagan, one Anicius Helvetius Lupus, presumably of the senatorial Anicii family.    With Tarentum friendly, we tell our horde to encamp, and take the time to finally look at a map and read some reports about what's going on elsewhere in the Year of Our Lord 398:  To be completely honest, we don't know much about the world beyond whatever lands we ran through. Eastern Roman Macedonia is cut off by land from Constantinople, and Dardania has completely slipped out of its control. The Western Roman Balkans are doing little better; the frontier provinces of Pannonia have broken away into their own state of Illyria, while Vandals and Visigoths have wedged themselves between Illyria and the WRE to settle in parts of Dalmatia and Noricum! We know nothing of the situation in Africa, or the Western Roman Rhenish frontier, or the Eastern Roman Persian frontier. There's still woefully little of the world that we know anything about, and so we hire a dry, dour fellow named Gissur to become the eyes and ears for the Ostrogoths. While we're in a money-spending mood, King Vithericus is appointed to personally lead a new army, named 'The Bear-Sons' after the army that perished in Thessalonica.    To double our future safety, we also engage in further negotiations with the Huns, seeking a non-aggression pact with them. With King Uldin dead and the war over, perhaps the best way to ensure that the Huns don't wage war against us again is to become their dearest friends.   They accept! And so, with peace secured and a second army finally ready to be built, it is time to rest. Ofaloaf fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Apr 28, 2015 |
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Apr 28, 2015 20:00
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Making some deals with the devil. I like it.
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Apr 28, 2015 20:06
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Long live glorious Italia! Long live the Anicii! This new nation we have bravely librated surely has great things ahead of it.
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Apr 28, 2015 20:17
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What I like about playing the Visigoths is that they start out with onagers. So you don't have to wait a turn to take out walled cities.
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Apr 28, 2015 20:31
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Glad to see us enjoying the chance to rest and recuperate after that long haul, brilliant maneuvering Ofaloaf. Once we recover then the question will become where do we go from there? Right now we're in Italy, which is historically where the Ostrogoth people settled and took control of. Will we follow their historical route, or will we end up somewhere else? I don't know, but I'm excited to find out more!
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Apr 28, 2015 20:37
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We should totally prop up a new, Pagan Italy.
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Apr 28, 2015 20:38
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Well, how good's our potential sea power, as compared to our potential land power? Because if we're staying, there's lot of ways for potential Hunnic Arseholes to approach us if we can't hold the water.
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Apr 28, 2015 20:42
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Rodyle posted:We should totally prop up a new, Pagan Italy. We're good Arian Christians, we wouldn't want to disappoint the Savior, now would we? I mean, besides the times we disappoint Him by pillaging everything in our path.
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Apr 28, 2015 20:58
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Mr.Morgenstern posted:We're good Arian Christians, we wouldn't want to disappoint the Savior, now would we? I mean, besides the times we disappoint Him by pillaging everything in our path. Well thanks to being Arian we could always ask what God thought instead. It'd probably be easier to convince him of the decadence of Rome and the need to completely raze their cities than his son.
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Apr 28, 2015 21:14
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Hey, the Romans killed God's son and said that all the true believers were heretics. They're punks, nothing more. They totally deserved having their poo poo sacked.
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Apr 28, 2015 21:18
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Chapter 5: Ex Italia, ad Galliam With time at last to rest we encamp near Tarentum, and begin recruiting and replenishing our armies. Even though we're mostly just recruiting spearmen, hurlers, the basics, these things take a while, and so we have time to research and explore a bit. Gissur, our scout, is sent north, to explore Italy and points westward.  Closer by, our Italian hosts in Tarentum are starting to get unfortunate ideas, and are now demanding money of us. It's a small sum, and worth paying while we're still recovering, but Italia's future usefulness once we're out of the worst of it seems very small.   And they aren't the only ones seeking to take advantage of us while we recover! Sources have notified us that some nobles have begun plotting against King Vithericus. We must act!      We have a couple of options available to deal with the problem, and we pretty quickly opt to disrupt the plot. In these dire times, shedding the blood of our own people is worse than sin, and yet it seems foolish for us to directly approach them. It is best to simply disperse the plot and leave it at that. While we spend our time trying to keep our own bonds from fraying, other people are rapidly strengthening their own bonds with others. Another Roman pagan, this time in Thessalonica, has declared himself ruler of an independent Macedonia-- this time, the man is one Anicius Traianus Burrienus. Could the Anicii in Italia be expanding their domains?  They're certainly feeling more ballsy, at least. Helvetius Lupus asks us for another payment.  We're still rebuilding our forces near Tarentum, so we agree to this yet again, but for a man who only gained his position through the efforts of the Goths, Anicius Helvetius Lupus is really pushing his luck.  In more ways than one! Italia's first army marches out from Tarentum the moment it's ready, crosses Campania and lays siege to Roma. Despite our objections to Italian monetary policy, this maneuver is impressive, and worth backing. We move an army to Roma to support Italia when they choose to assault the city walls.  And, to show their thanks for our support, Italia asks for another payment. Ingrates! But we must remain calm, and remember the big picture. Italia gives us a rare opportunity to recover from our previous setbacks, and regardless of whatever they're squeezing out of us, they're costing the Western Roman Empire more. Oh for-!  But patience! Italia at last assaults Roma's walls!  aaand decides to merely sack the city, rather than occupy it for themselves. Oi. With that disappointment, the year AD 400 rolls around at last. We are told, for some unknown reason, that some Hun named Attila has just been born.  Oh no, a baby! We have bigger, more immediate concerns to address.    We've managed to survive to AD 400, but now we've been tasked with surviving again, this time for another twenty years. We've also been told that 'climate change' is beginning to make the north more inhospitable, but we're not convinced these aren't just lies told by effeminate Greek philosophers to trick us.  We also still don't know much about the world outside of Italy and the Balkans. Macedonia now also sits among old Eastern Roman lands, but beyond that, very little has changed. We have, however, reached far enough north to encounter a Western Roman separatist faction, Gaul, which is delighted to encounter a horde ravaging Western Roman lands, so much so that they immediately offer us a non-aggression pact. We accept, of course.  In fact, Gallia as a whole seems intriguing enough that we begin to move north. Both our hordes are ready and recovered, and so we sack Roma one more time for good measure, before moving further up the Italian peninsula. Like Roma, Ravenna and Fiorentia likewise melt before our heated attacks.       At this point, Italia demands money from us yet again. This time, however, they offer something in return, and we're finally alerted to the fact that the Roxolanians, those nomads the Gepids back in Dacia sought to fight, have apparently crossed the Adriatic and are coming after us!  We accept Italia's offer in the hope that they can slow down the Roxolani, and begin to consider our options. Options considered, we continue to head northwest.  And again Italia asks for money. This time we've had enough, and tell them to gently caress off. They acquiesce, happily, although I doubt Italian troops will eagerly march to our aid in the future.   With Roxolanians on our minds, we sack Segusio and finally cross the border into Gallia. Our first goal is to reach the two Gallic towns of Lugdunum and Vesontio, which are in the hands of Roman rebels. Hopefully there's still gold there to sack.     But! While one of armies edges close to the walls of Vesontio, our sole army besieging Lugdunum is suddenly assaulted by the rebel Roman garrison. It's time for a fight!   As was the case with the Battle of Neapolis against Uldin's Huns, we organize our force into three columns. Skirmishers in front, heavy melee in the back. Given our first sight of our opponents, however, our pre-battle preparations seem like they were almost a waste of time.   Pictured: One third of the initial Roman army One of our spearmen sneezes, and that force is practically wiped out. The Roman reinforcements then arrive, though, and our men's laughter dies out quickly. Word passes through the ranks that the Romans have artillery with them.  Worrisome stuff! But our Roman opponents spoil their advantage by sending their army piecemeal at us. Their cavalry charges far ahead of their infantry, and so only half their army engages our forces at one time, which makes it easier for us to repulse them.    Then the other half of the Roman army advances, and is likewise pulverized.    All that remains are the Roman onagers. We advance, and they run.   Victory! But their artillery bloodied us badly, and even through they only ever engaged us at half-strength, it was a well-armored half-strength. Over 300 Ostrogoths perished in the fight.  With the Lugdunum garrison repulsed, we march our other army onward to Vesontio, and commence a second siege. We also check our scouts' reports, however, and note that the Roxolani still chase us, and their main force is just a little to the south of our location.   The army besieging Vesontio is too far away to return and reinforce the army outside Lugdunum immediately, but we need to bolster our defensive capabilities if we are to have any hope of holding off the Roxolani. There is one option available. Lugdunum stands before us, with food stores inside and walls protecting it.    We assault the city, knock out the remains of its garrison, and choose to occupy instead of sack the city.  The Roxolani then attack, but Lugdunum's walls prevent them from engaging our forces then and there, forcing them to spend time preparing for a siege and giving our relief army enough time to march south from Vesontio. Together, our armies outnumber the Roxolanians handily, and we soundly defeat the nomads.     And, in the peace that follows the Roxolani retreat, we realize we've just ended our migration and settled in Gallia. Ofaloaf fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Aug 22, 2015 |
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Apr 30, 2015 01:40
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I also want to take this opportunity to showcase the horribly nerdy way I've been trying to keep track of characters. I'm probably doing it wrong, too.
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Apr 30, 2015 01:44
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Interesting place to settle. And those pagan Italians were quite ungrateful toward us. I say that once we're in a defendable position, we take an army down there and teach them a lesson!
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Apr 30, 2015 02:10
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Ofaloaf posted:And, in the peace that follows the Roxolani retreat, we realize we've just ended our migration and settled in Gallia. I was just wondering at what point settling becomes a better option than migrating.
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Apr 30, 2015 02:11
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