Our ancestors were retards

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Our ancestors were retards

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

SweetKarma posted:

Give or take a few hundred years. I'm not a loving art historian, all I'm saying is that it took humans a long time to learn about perspective.

yep. Learn from example

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:53

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:21

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

yep. Learn from example

Clever girl.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:55

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

but yeah, I'd gently caress a neandertal and I'm a little upset that it's not really a possiblity anymore.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:57

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

lookit them dsl

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:59

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

Inevitable posted:

lookit them dsl

dem dick sucking lips doe

^^I Just realized what dsl means.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:59

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Inevitable posted:

but yeah, I'd gently caress a neandertal and I'm a little upset that it's not really a possiblity anymore.

If there's any left they're hiding in Siberia/northern Canada.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:00

tie-dye my titties: Jun 14, 2014; by WE B Boo-ourgeois

Inevitable posted:

but yeah, I'd gently caress a neandertal and I'm a little upset that it's not really a possiblity anymore.

It is if your into incest

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:03

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

SweetKarma posted:

Clever girl.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:04

naem: May 29, 2011

Neanderthals were ginger

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:09

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

feeling homoerectus IFYKWIM

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:10

Nefarious: Sep 26, 2000; by XyloJW

Inevitable posted:

but yeah, I'd gently caress a neandertal and I'm a little upset that it's not really a possiblity anymore.

you can still gently caress retards op thats pretty close

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:17

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

Nefarious posted:

you can still gently caress retards op thats pretty close

You ever see a pack of retards kill a mammoth?

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:25

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

You know, back in the day, having a smart dude in your tribe was a HUGE advantage. But when he died, you were hosed, cuz who else knows the riddle of steel?

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:27

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

redshirt posted:

You know, back in the day, having a smart dude in your tribe was a HUGE advantage. But when he died, you were hosed, cuz who else knows the riddle of steel?

Really redshirt? gently caress you!

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:30

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

redshirt posted:

You know, back in the day, having a smart dude in your tribe was a HUGE advantage. But when he died, you were hosed, cuz who else knows the riddle of steel?

my penis

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:35

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Enfield posted:

my penis

cant click this link

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:44

Joust: Dec 7, 2007; No Ledges.

Inevitable posted:

lmao at this scrub

Confirmed athiest.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:50

Nefarious: Sep 26, 2000; by XyloJW

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

redshirt? gently caress you!

# ? Apr 26, 2015 04:51

Tashan Dorrsett: Apr 10, 2015; by Deplorable exmarx

Joust posted:

Confirmed athiest.

this would be a good username

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:03

Tashan Dorrsett: Apr 10, 2015; by Deplorable exmarx

Inevitable posted:

lookit them dsl

hopin that girl's too primitive to have a gag reflex, ill help her evolve that one if you know what i mean

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:04

Ronwayne: Nov 20, 2007; That warm and fuzzy feeling.

redshirt posted:

Also, can you imagine raising a baby in a cave?

Wasn't there an E/N thread about that?

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:18

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

I disagree with the OP, vigorously. I'd argue instead the average person 100,000 years ago was far "smarter" than the average person today.

And by smarter I don't mean SAT/Standardized testing smart. I mean "knows how to do things in the world" smart. Start a fire. Skin a fox. Read the clouds, read the stars, read the seas. Etc. In comparison to ancient folk, most of us are retarded in real world knowledge these days.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:21

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

resourceful is the world youre lookin for bro

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:22

Tashan Dorrsett: Apr 10, 2015; by Deplorable exmarx

our ancestors rolled higher wisdom, while we have higher intelligence. different modifiers.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:24

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

ROFLburger posted:

resourceful is the world youre lookin for bro

Not exactly. One can be resourceful or not in the digital world, using digital means.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:28

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

true

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:30

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

ROFLburger posted:

true

I'm referring to real survival and living skills. I bet lots of people knew how to assist with birth back then, for example. Nowadays, it's specialists. Everything's specialists. Or nothing, if you can consider your everyday lumpen proletariat these days to be more than mindless drones.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:33

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

on the other hand i want a specialist to deliver my baby and not my dickhead neighbor because 20 years ago he helped his dad deliver his brother

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:35

Tashan Dorrsett: Apr 10, 2015; by Deplorable exmarx

redshirt posted:

I'm referring to real survival and living skills. I bet lots of people knew how to assist with birth back then, for example. Nowadays, it's specialists. Everything's specialists. Or nothing, if you can consider your everyday lumpen proletariat these days to be more than mindless drones.

holy loving poo poo noobs it's on page loving 7 of the player's handbook

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:37

hohhat: Sep 25, 2014

redshirt posted:

I'm referring to real survival and living skills. I bet lots of people knew how to assist with birth back then, for example. Nowadays, it's specialists. Everything's specialists. Or nothing, if you can consider your everyday lumpen proletariat these days to be more than mindless drones.

Those are the people who tend to hunt/fish/camp and all the poo poo you're praising prehistoric man for knowing how to do. Get your story straight.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:38

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

loving A OP! Our super ancient ancestors - circa 75,000 years ago - constructed boats large and sturdy enough to colonize Australia. Think about sailing into an open ocean with no GPS, no compass, no RADAR or SONAR or satellite uplink. And not just you, but your whole family, and your whole tribe in fact (24-32 people max).

They sailed by stars and by weather. They were braver and smarter than anything you and I can even conceive.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:38

oblique: Sep 20, 2001; Like me, they have no way to go but up.

redshirt posted:

loving A OP! Our super ancient ancestors - circa 75,000 years ago - constructed boats large and sturdy enough to colonize Australia. Think about sailing into an open ocean with no GPS, no compass, no RADAR or SONAR or satellite uplink. And not just you, but your whole family, and your whole tribe in fact (24-32 people max).

They sailed by stars and by weather. They were braver and smarter than anything you and I can even conceive.

if theyre so smart why are they dead

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:41

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

redshirt posted:

loving A OP! Our super ancient ancestors - circa 75,000 years ago - constructed boats large and sturdy enough to colonize Australia. Think about sailing into an open ocean with no GPS, no compass, no RADAR or SONAR or satellite uplink. And not just you, but your whole family, and your whole tribe in fact (24-32 people max).

They sailed by stars and by weather. They were braver and smarter than anything you and I can even conceive.

Yeah, i call that retarded. Way smarter to use GPS.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:47

Glasgow Kiss: Dec 12, 2007; Oh, put that thing away, Samurai. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back, Samurai!" And then I'll flutter over the horizon and we probably won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.

redshirt posted:

loving A OP! Our super ancient ancestors - circa 75,000 years ago - constructed boats large and sturdy enough to colonize Australia. Think about sailing into an open ocean with no GPS, no compass, no RADAR or SONAR or satellite uplink. And not just you, but your whole family, and your whole tribe in fact (24-32 people max).

They sailed by stars and by weather. They were braver and smarter than anything you and I can even conceive.

why couldnt they just take a plane

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:50

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

oblique posted:

if theyre so smart why are they dead

All that lives, dies.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:52

interwhat: Jul 23, 2005; it's kickin in dude

What's different today op? Looks to me there's a lot more idiots with a lot more dangerous poo poo to gently caress poo poo up with

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:54

Inevitable: Jul 27, 2007; by Ralp

interwhat posted:

What's different today op? Looks to me there's a lot more idiots with a lot more dangerous poo poo to gently caress poo poo up with

more of us survive and thrive on this planet than ever before ergo we are more evolutionarily succesful than ever before, ergo we are better, ergo the ancestors were worse ertgo a bunch of retards, especailly YOUR ancestors

# ? Apr 26, 2015 06:01

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Inevitable posted:

more of us survive and thrive on this planet than ever before ergo we are more evolutionarily succesful than ever before, ergo we are better, ergo the ancestors were worse ertgo a bunch of retards, especailly YOUR ancestors

It's like maggots on a corpse.

One cleansing fire/flood/scourge and we'll see who's the retard.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 06:03

RaySmuckles: Oct 14, 2009; Grimey Drawer

redshirt posted:

It's like maggots on a corpse.

One cleansing fire/flood/scourge and we'll see who's the retard.

This is exactly what I think of when I think of maggots on a corpse. Good analogy.

Our ancestors we're retarded enough to develop nukes and obliterate each other, though they were prone to destroying their own environment so maybe it is a wash.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 06:13

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:21

interwhat: Jul 23, 2005; it's kickin in dude

Inevitable posted:

more of us survive and thrive on this planet than ever before ergo we are more evolutionarily succesful than ever before, ergo we are better, ergo the ancestors were worse ertgo a bunch of retards, especailly YOUR ancestors

No, we aren't more "evolutionarily successful" we just got better at keeping our broods alive when they shouldn't have made it anyway. We will over populate the planet until we are all loving dead so explain to me how that's not retarded.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 06:14

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