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*sail south and peacefully trade with Western European nations and the Arabs, is recorded and demonized by Christian scholars as being a band of unruly, pagan rapists and pillagers"
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May 1, 2015 01:58
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remember the 13th warrior
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May 1, 2015 01:59
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Noctis Horrendae posted:*sail south and peacefully trade with Western European nations and the Arabs, is recorded and demonized by Christian scholars as being a band of unruly, pagan rapists and pillagers" *Still get my rape on from time to time, though, don't wanna look like a fag or nothin'*
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May 1, 2015 01:59
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I hear this Baltimore place is pretty decent for pillaging.
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May 1, 2015 01:59
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*Sails South, raping, murdering and pillaging between where I started and Valhalla.*
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May 1, 2015 02:00
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ooo a monastery full of gold and unarmed nerds
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May 1, 2015 02:00
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*sails west, to England, steals everyone attractive*
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May 1, 2015 02:01
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*sues someone*
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May 1, 2015 02:01
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Dead Gay Romans posted:*Still gets my rape on from time to time, though, don't wanna look like a fag or nothin'* *is too stupid to record own history or write on anything other than small graffiti-like notes on big stones, Icelanders pick up the slack 200 years down the line albeit with a major ~creative license~* *actual history is lost forever* *goes down in history as being human monsters with horned, devil-like helmets and big shields and axes*
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May 1, 2015 02:01
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flaying men is for pussies real men draw blood eagles
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May 1, 2015 02:02
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*is a terrible football team*
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May 1, 2015 02:02
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*invades the kingdom of wessex solely to civilize the natives by providing proper hygiene practices*
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May 1, 2015 02:02
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Moridin920 posted:*sails west, to England, steals everyone attractive* *sails to iceland with one black slave and a bunch of irishmen, brings a sliver of colour to an otherwise depressing place via red hair*
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May 1, 2015 02:02
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read this book: red orm is bae
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May 1, 2015 02:02
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TEAYCHES posted:read this book: *puts horn on dragon's head, making it look more like a unicorn than a dragon* *is laughed at by enemies rather than feared*
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May 1, 2015 02:04
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*displeases Odin by going into battle with a spear and not a manly man's axe* *is made fun of by viking friends on earth* *to add insult to injury, doesn't go to valhalla*
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May 1, 2015 02:06
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Noctis Horrendae posted:*displeases Odin by going into battle with a spear and not a manly man's axe* wasn't Odin all about spears?
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May 1, 2015 02:07
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Otto von Ruthless posted:wasn't Odin all about spears? details, details 
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May 1, 2015 02:08
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Viking gay. So what
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May 1, 2015 02:10
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-43pOqheMY&hd=1
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May 1, 2015 02:12
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http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3683228
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May 1, 2015 02:13
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Hybrid children watch the sea Pray for Father, roaming free
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real vikings only listen to music produced by instruments made of bone
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May 1, 2015 02:13
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:remember the 13th warrior https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnnREr8BV24 it was gaaaaay
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May 1, 2015 02:14
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CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:remember the 13th warrior THis thread is now about this amazing movie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnnREr8BV24 Strange that such an amazing action movie, this is some how the best scene EDIT: Better clip
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May 1, 2015 02:14
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wow TWO language scene posts in a row
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May 1, 2015 02:16
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yeah that guys a fag though no joke. i was posting that scene because it's retarded he is all like man it's so cool for a perpetual 11 year old
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May 1, 2015 02:17
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Noctis Horrendae posted:details, details Odin cares a lot about details. He's sort of a girly nerd of a God. He knows magic, which is women's work. Odin's for chiefs and poets. If you're a regular Viking, you go with Thor. Thor's just your regular every day warrior guy. He's someone you can sit down and have a mead with.
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May 1, 2015 02:17
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hagar can get hosed
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May 1, 2015 02:17
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Stoic Commie posted:yeah that guys a fag though no joke. i was posting that scene because it's retarded he is all like man it's so cool for a perpetual 11 year old I'm sorry you can't appricaite this amazing movie for it's many layers of deepness
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May 1, 2015 02:19
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*Tells a story about a guy who turns into a horse and gets hosed hard by a stallion and has a baby from it* *Masturbates to it* *Story gets passed down the ages as a timeless myth*
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May 1, 2015 02:24
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*discovers the caramel macciato and but loses the recipe, credit will end up going to some italian idiot*
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May 1, 2015 02:24
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Otto von Ruthless posted:wasn't Odin all about spears? Spear is way more versatile in battle then an ax. But yeah, historically everyone who wielded a spear in a battle was a homosexual. Started with the Greeks really.
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May 1, 2015 02:30
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*Chokes in the playoffs*
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May 1, 2015 02:30
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*older brother given land, money, titles* *put on boat with the other younger sons* *handed shield, sword, told "these are magic!"* *told to sail far, far away to "attack the enemy!"* *encouraged to attack foreign people with no regard for own well being "you'll go to heaven! There's girls and beer!"* *cant help but notice as boat sails away that there are now like three girls for every guy left in home village since most of the young men are on this boat, feel conflicted* *boat is pretty much a big fat canoe, in the ocean. In the drat ocean. Gah* *see foreign village, "they might be demons! Get your magic sword!!"* *village looks an awful lot like the one you left, honestly, why, why are we doing this? I don't* *eats a bunch of mushrooms* *MURDER!!!!!!!!* *"ok anybody dead?" "Only like, half of us" "do we have enough treasure yet?" "I don't know, this whole thing wasn't actually thought out very well. It's almost like they wanted us to, die, out here, you know what? I'm just not going to think about to too much. Let's drink some more I guess. Gah"* *Olaf do you think, sometimes, that maybe WE are the bad guys??* *actually manages to go to place in boat and hurt people and take their stuff, get back on boat, turn around, find way back across the ocean, in what is in essence a real big fat canoe, successfully, having only lost 2/3 of the guys on the boat, and find way back to home village of frozen hillbilly shacks* *"welcome home! Looks like you have the down payment on a house each good! Now you can all marry each other's sisters pretty much! Until we all look like carbon copies of the same two or three blond guys and maybe one red head!"
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May 1, 2015 02:37
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*gets driven out of ireland by a bunch of poo poo smeared idiots with no armor and a bunch of rocks* *drowns in the ocean*
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May 1, 2015 02:42
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*loses like four superbowls*
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May 1, 2015 02:42
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*buries some raw fish in the sand* *forgets about it for a month* *while super drunk on fermented pig blood, suddenly remembers the buried fish* *addled brain goes all MMM SNACKS HUNGRY*
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May 1, 2015 02:43
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naem posted:*older brother given land, money, titles* The master race!
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May 1, 2015 02:45
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Flesh Forge posted:*buries some raw fish in the sand* HEY DIS IS BREDDY GUD BUD WHADDIT NEEDS ESS SOME LYE!!!!!!!
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May 1, 2015 02:48
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 04:44 |
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*does psychedelics before battle* *runs naked into enemy shieldwalls, doesn't die*
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May 1, 2015 03:12
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