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Chip Cheezum
Sep 5, 2006

Sic Parvis Magna and all that


Watch Dogs! It's that one open-world Ubisoft game structured like every other Ubisoft game that follows Aiden Pierce, a hacker/father uncle out to get revenge after his daughter niece was murdered because he's an rear end in a top hat who hurts his family by involving them in his criminal life. Watch Dogs was a big disappointment for a lot of people after it did not live up to the hype of its original reveal trailer. The graphics were downgraded (not surprising since they were working on it before the hardware specs for the PS4 and Xbox One were finalized) and the gameplay stuck with the same open-world structure that just about every other open-world game uses.

However! I think this game is pretty interesting from a production standpoint, and there are still small elements in the game that I really like. General Ironicus, known Chicago lover, will also be with me to talk about Watch Dog's recreation of the city, as well as general Chicago facts and history.

This LP will also have a fair amount of supplemental material. We'll be getting videos from Ironicus about Chicago's history and articles from Baldurk on how video game graphics work! Our other videos will also be posted here, including our streams and podcasts.

Our videos come in two versions: cut and uncut. Uncut videos have us talking over cutscenes, while cut videos mute us during cutscenes and other important story bits.

VIDEOS
Episode 1: Chicago Chicagos.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 2: Uncle Vash.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 3: Uncle Surprise.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 4: gregsky.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 5: Extreme Drinking.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 6: D-Trip.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
The History of Chicago: Episode 1.....Baldurdash
Episode 7: Privacy Invasion.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 8: Bean.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 9: Domingo.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 10: Tucci.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 11: Longshoreman X.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 12: The Vigilante.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 13: Gogurt.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 14: Road Hogs.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 15: Dude!.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 16: weasel.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 17: Deep Blue.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 18: Cookie.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 19: truthdb.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 20: Bridge War.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 21: Bedbug.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 22: The Ultimate Technique (NSFW).....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 23: Edgy Grandma.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 24: nancy.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 25: A Tour of Chicago.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
The History of Chicago: Episode 2.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 26: Hacker Hermit.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 27: Tacos Mexicanos.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 28: T-Bone, My Best Friend.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 29: Progress.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 29-2: The Ghost of Christmas Future.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 30: Mary Pop-ins.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 31: Nicky's Never Coming Back.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 32: M*A*S*H.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 33: Widow's Walk.....Uncut Commentary.....Baldurdash
Episode 34: The Edgiest Privacy Invasion.....Baldurdash
The Salvation of Aiden Pearce.....Baldurdash
Chicago History #3.....Baldurdash

The Fight: Lights Out
The Fight: Lights Out - Improv Theater with Danny Trejo.....Baldurdash
The Fight: Lights Out - The Tale of the Brothers Marv.....Baldurdash

Graphics in Plain Language

STREAMS
Yoshi's Island Stream
Revisiting MGS Stream #2 + SotN
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.....Baldurdash
Splatoon
D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die
E3 2015 Streams
Sonic Adventure 2
Revisiting MGS Stream #3
Revisiting MGS Stream #4
Jack the Reaper Stream
Contradiction Stream
Revisiting MGS Stream #5
Demo Theater #4: PSU Disc #1
Mario Kart 8 Stream
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past stream
Transformers: Devastation Stream
The Witcher 3 Stream
Mario Maker Stream
Gex: Deep Cover Gecko Stream
Ruff Trigger and Ratchet and Clank 2 Stream
The Game Awards 2015

CHIPOD IRONICAST
Chipod Ironicast #5: SeaQuest.....Libsyn/RSS Feed.....Download
Chipod Ironicast #6: C2E2 2015.....Libsyn/RSS Feed.....Download
Chipod Ironicast #7: E3 Speculation.....Libsyn/RSS Feed.....Download
Chipod Ironicast #8: Roadhouse.....Libsyn/RSS Feed.....Download
Recounting the Plot of Metal Gear Trailer
Chipod Ironicast - Drunk Metal Gear History #1.....Baldurdash.....Libsyn/RSS feed
Chipod Ironicast #9: Undertale.....Libsyn/RSS Feed.....Download
Chipod Ironicast #10: The Game Awards.....Libsyn/RSS Feed.....Download
Chipod Ironicast #11: GOTY (December 2015).....Download
Chipod Ironicast #12: WATCH_DOGS (January 2016).....Download
Chipod Ironicast #13: Illuminati (February 2016).....Download
Chipod Ironicast #14: Nintendo NX (March 2016).....Download

Drunk Metal Gear History
Drunk Metal Gear History #1.....Baldurdash.....Libsyn/RSS feed
Drunk Metal Gear History #2.....Baldurdash.....Libsyn/RSS feed
Drunk Metal Gear History #3.....Baldurdash.....Libsyn/RSS feed
Drunk Metal Gear History #4.....Baldurdash.....Libsyn/RSS feed
Drunk Metal Gear History #5.....Baldurdash.....Libsyn/RSS feed

Chip Cheezum fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Apr 12, 2016

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kalonZombie
May 24, 2010

D&D 3.5 Book of Erotic Fantasy
I hate this loving game so much and I've never even played it.

thetoughestbean
Apr 27, 2013

Keep On Shroomin
Good. This game. This loving game.

Mjolna
Oct 2, 2014

Been looking forward to this. I still play Assassin's Creed from time to time as a series but Ubisoft Open World is just super bland. Almost Skyrim bland. Maybe all the Chitown stuff will make it more interesting.

I don't have an opinion on Watch Dogs yet and this is gonna be fun to see.

Judge Tesla
Oct 29, 2011

:frogsiren:
I played this game on PS4 but I just found it terribly bland, being released post Grand Theft Auto 5 is pretty much what killed it for me, it's not a horrible game all in all but, it's just so dull.

Literally Assassin's Theft Auto as well.

Ledgy
Aug 1, 2013

Up against the wall
I tried to play this game, my friends recommended it to me. Didn't get past the first mission because of the driving. Good luck for the LP !

Llab
Dec 28, 2011

PEPSI FOR VG BABE
The most experience I have with this came is fixing some kind of audio bug in the PS3 version for my friend. This was like a month or two ago. Fix your poo poo, Ubisoft.

FinalGamer
Aug 30, 2012

So the mystic script says.
As a person rather fascinated by Chicago I am all about this LP so thank you very much for giving me some good Ironicus Corner Trivia. So I will say, as someone who only ever saw the worst of this from reports, the game looks REALLY good visually for actually trying some different things like this data mushing stuff and the way they kinda shot the cutscenes.

UbiSoft can do that poo poo okay it's just...they forgot about the rest of the game looking up to snuff yanno? Another thing I DO actually like a lot on recent UbiSoft games is the voice acting in some places, and also really nice tutorials like we just saw for this game, I liked Maurice's screeching panic there. Though um Aidan sounds like he REALLY is not into this game at all, everybody else sounds great but Aidan just bores the tits off me.

Jordi I totally wish was the main protagonist, he's like something out of Sleeping Dogs which is another sandbox game which is infinitely a lot better than this one in every possible way.


Also question to Ironicus, please tell me what you feel personally about Meigs Field Airport and Richard M. Daley.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
Chip, as a moderator you should be able to alter thread titles.

The proper title of the game is WATCH_DOGS, (spoken WATCH UNDERSCORE DOGS) not WATCH DOGS.

ChaosArgate
Oct 10, 2012

Why does everyone think I'm going to get in trouble?

Patter Song posted:

Chip, as a moderator you should be able to alter thread titles.

The proper title of the game is WATCH_DOGS, (spoken WATCH UNDERSCORE DOGS) not WATCH DOGS.

He's not a blue-star man anymore. :v:

Kloro
Oct 24, 2008

Fancy a grown man saying hujus hujus hujus as if he were proud of it it is not english and do not make SENSE.
I know this game has a million and one things wrong with it, and I like it anyway. I am aware I have a problem.
Unskippable cutscenes are almost an unforgivable sin in this day and age, though.

Kloro fucked around with this message at 00:38 on May 3, 2015

General Ironicus
Aug 21, 2008

Something about this feels kinda hinky
Speaking from the other end of our dozen-video backlog, I think this is a perfectly decent game that suffers from being forced into an incredibly bland mold. You can see flashes of unique ideas and fun concepts, but it's all drowned out by Things Open World Games Have For Their Own Sake.

Calax
Oct 5, 2011

I will say this for Ubisoft... They know how to make something look GREAT in previews. The Watch_Dogs preview and reveal was one of the most amazing things we'd ever seen, and IIRC the multiplayer aspect was initially advertised as sort of a "Go into mission, other players would pop in as your backup around the town, sniping to support you" etc. What came out? Well, we'll see.

GeneralYeti
Jul 22, 2012

Look at this smug broken asshole.
There are a few things I like about this game, but it's just unfortunately drowned out by everything else I don't like about it. The (over-)dramatic plot, for one thing - Aiden's just a bit too broody for me to take him seriously at all.

Of course this is coming from someone who stopped playing about three or four hours in due to reasons, so the plot might be better than I give it credit for and I just didn't get to it.

Kloro
Oct 24, 2008

Fancy a grown man saying hujus hujus hujus as if he were proud of it it is not english and do not make SENSE.
Yeah, I'd agree with that 100%. There are times when the game this could have been shines through - I think it all boils down to if that's enough to keep you going.

Bearpigman
Feb 19, 2013

"It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside"
This has to be the first time in over a year that the words "Watchdogs" and "Excited" unironically existed in my mind at the same time

unless we are talking about watches with dogs on them. I am always excited for that

Speedball
Apr 15, 2008

Kloro posted:

Yeah, I'd agree with that 100%. There are times when the game this could have been shines through - I think it all boils down to if that's enough to keep you going.

They changed the plot of this game many times while they're making it and you can tell a few times when it happens. I'll say more later when we get to one of the spots I mean.

I think the original plot of this game would have been a lot better than what we got; originally Aiden was one of the guys who started programming the CTOS system that looks at everything, so he was utilizing backdoors he made himself, and his goal was to take down the evil corporation turning everything into a cyber-police state. That...got shuffled away for a more generic revenge plot.

But I love, love, LOVE saying "this could have been better" when looking at problematic works of fiction because I think it helps us all figure out how to BE better, either as creators or appreciators of created works.

Speedball fucked around with this message at 00:47 on May 3, 2015

JordanKai
Aug 19, 2011

Get high and think of me.


Jeez, I forgot that this game introduces its player character by having him savagely torture a man.

The script for this game must have passed by at least 50 people. How did this get greenlit?

CrashCat
Jan 10, 2003

another shit post


I thought the pitching machine actually did work and distracted a guy when I played this. Maybe it only works if you're closer to it, which means you'd have to walk the other way where you can loot a couple things but is otherwise pointless.

limited
Dec 10, 2005
Limited Sanity
I got the Intsec edition for £20, even after hearing how terrible this game is, because it crosses into 'so bad it's funny territory' supposedly.. Figured the all-singing, all-dancing limited edition for that cheap was worth it.

It wasn't. :( I've put the game in my PS4 three times since I've bought it, and put it down within a hour every time due to either bugs, or just plain boredom.

It'll be nice to see someone who knows what they're doing playing through!

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
They really shouldn't have made this an open world game. There's just a devastating lack of focus.

gregory
Jun 8, 2013

METAL GEAR!
I love how almost everyone's first reaction to this game is, "Hey, I like Jordi, he has personality and is an interesting character!"

Accordion Man
Nov 7, 2012


Buglord

Speedball posted:

They changed the plot of this game many times while they're making it and you can tell a few times when it happens. I'll say more later when we get to one of the spots I mean.

I think the original plot of this game would have been a lot better than what we got; originally Aiden was one of the guys who started programming the CTOS system that looks at everything, so he was utilizing backdoors he made himself, and his goal was to take down the evil corporation turning everything into a cyber-police state. That...got shuffled away for a more generic revenge plot.

But I love, love, LOVE saying "this could have been better" when looking at problematic works of fiction because I think it helps us all figure out how to BE better, either as creators or appreciators of created works.
It's also rather obvious already that Aiden started off as the estranged dad out to avenge his daughter yet they changed him into the uncle for whatever reason. It makes Aiden even creepier really.

This game would have seriously benefited from being more like Deus Ex and Dishonored and just have big separate levels instead of being open world.

FinalGamer
Aug 30, 2012

So the mystic script says.

Accordion Man posted:

It's also rather obvious already that Aiden started off as the estranged dad out to avenge his daughter yet they changed him into the uncle for whatever reason. It makes Aiden even creepier really.
No see being the dad avenging a daughter is cliché and we are all about the new and edgy stuff so let's make him an uncle!

CUZ TROPES YO :v:

Stormgale
Feb 27, 2010

JordanKai posted:

Jeez, I forgot that this game introduces its player character by having him savagely torture a man.

The script for this game must have passed by at least 50 people. How did this get greenlit?

24 would be the reason I assume, I feel like the Splinter cell where Sam fisher is off the grid also had similar levels of torture from a protagonist we are supposed to like.

One thing I found interesting about the game from a design standpoint was the multiplayer, how you were always Aiden pierce to you and everyone else was Aidento themselves but you looked like random chumps to eachother.

Kloro
Oct 24, 2008

Fancy a grown man saying hujus hujus hujus as if he were proud of it it is not english and do not make SENSE.
In the first video, you mention the driving feeling "off". I think this is due to the game having San Andreas syndrome - since there are upgrades to vehicle handling (via driving skill there and skill upgrades here) , the easiest way to implement them is to give you normal handling with full skill, and then deliberately downgrade it for your starting situation. Not an elegant solution, but an easy one.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Speedball posted:

They changed the plot of this game many times while they're making it and you can tell a few times when it happens. I'll say more later when we get to one of the spots I mean.

I think the original plot of this game would have been a lot better than what we got; originally Aiden was one of the guys who started programming the CTOS system that looks at everything, so he was utilizing backdoors he made himself, and his goal was to take down the evil corporation turning everything into a cyber-police state. That...got shuffled away for a more generic revenge plot.

But I love, love, LOVE saying "this could have been better" when looking at problematic works of fiction because I think it helps us all figure out how to BE better, either as creators or appreciators of created works.

Oh my god that makes a lot of the stuff in this game make so much sense.

What's the spoiler policy for the thread Chip?

ThatPazuzu
Sep 8, 2011

I'm so depressed, I can't even blink.
They pronounce Merlaut "Mer-lot" and when I played I kept thinking they were mispronouncing it and it was french and "Mer-low." Also I'm surprised to didn't mention that the police officer in the first cutscene has a smooth, featureless badge.

Spiritus Nox
Sep 2, 2011

I'd heard some absolutely wretched things about this game. So far the first video seems to confirm a lot of it. Don't like Aiden one bit, the data-moshing and poo poo going on even when there's nothing hacky happening is annoying, the actual hacking looks and acts pretty dumb, and the whole game really suffers from having to tick literally every box off of the Ubisoft Open World Checklist and smothering what interesting ideas it has.

The Heavenator
Feb 28, 2011

BangBangBang! Commando of the Galaxy
Trust me, as dumb and insufferable as Aiden is now he gets so much loving worse.

mdct
Sep 2, 2011

Tingle tingle kooloo limpah.
These are my magic words.

Don't steal them.
The Mysterious And Dangerous Cyberpunk Future, of 2013!!

This game wasn't even released until last year. They easily could've set it a few years in the future but didn't. What a strange choice.

Bacter
Jan 27, 2012

Nie wywoluj wilka z lasu, glupku.
A smug, self-righteous creep policing the world on his own terms - truly a hero for this millennium??? (no)

slycooper20
Feb 14, 2014

I AM REVOLVER OSHAWOTT
Yeah, the soundtrack's pretty poor in this game. The only songs I actually somewhat liked were Kid Cudi and that Ministry song they played during a later mission.

Drachir D Nalem
Aug 14, 2012
I hope there are dogs and that you can spend a silly amount of time watching them be dogs. I think that'd make up for what I hear is a sub-par story at best.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
There are no dogs.

dismas
Jul 31, 2008


Man the sheer amount of Chip and/or Ironicus you can get these days is crazy! It is pretty fantastic.

Spiritus Nox
Sep 2, 2011

Oh my God "I need to get my mind off of things *immediately uses camera to spy on people making out around the corner" slew me. Jesus Christ Aiden you loving weirdo.

Accordion Man
Nov 7, 2012


Buglord
Gonna steal Ironicus' thunder a bit because I'm from Chicago too and throw in a bit of trivia. Piper Gate isn't real, but Little Village is, its one of the major Hispanic neighborhoods in the city.

Also yeah, there aren't really any gated communities like that in the city proper you'd have to be going to the suburbs outside the city limits for that.

Drachir D Nalem
Aug 14, 2012

paragon1 posted:

There are no dogs.

I hate this game now.

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Stormgale
Feb 27, 2010

Spiritus Nox posted:

Oh my God "I need to get my mind off of things *immediately uses camera to spy on people making out around the corner" slew me. Jesus Christ Aiden you loving weirdo.

If the game really had the courage/effort to either play Aiden as the weirdo thug/nerd he is that would probably be better than trying to laud him as a Cool antihero.

I mean open world games all ready have this with trying to contrast the open world fuckery most people get up to with the character in the plot but this game doubles down on dissonance for seemingly no reason.

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