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a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

gannyGrabber posted:

Actually sounds like a good, fun person to work with OP. Maybe you're just a hateful shitlord..???

Yeah baby!!!!

die

pwnyXpress posted:

disco is good stuff and easy to dance to and beatmix

also die

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

figured this would be someone who cannot stop pestering you or keeps loving up poo poo you both work on the same exact way or something, not just someone whose tastes are terrible. surely you can just avoid this person like the plague and pretend they don't exist?

cubicle next to mine :cry:

Airstream Driver posted:

Tell her that all of those things annoy you and ask her to stop. Suggest new phrases for her. I think you're attracted to her deep down.

i have told her several times "you have the worst tastes of anyone i have ever met" but she seems to think i'm joking???

a misanthrope fucked around with this message at 10:58 on May 5, 2015

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SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



what car do they drive? post a picture

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

Alan Smithee posted:

have you thought about not working in the cesspool that is journalism?

every day of my miserable life

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

seems like a pretty cool lady

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
Your coworker sounds like an unfunny version of Pam from Archer

Jimbo Jaggins
Jul 19, 2013
i can feel the sexual tension in every post

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

A misanthrope posted:

i have told her several times "you have the worst tastes of anyone i have ever met" but she seems to think i'm joking???

No she thinks you were being honest but she was just laughing because she likes you and it helps her get through her lovely day to think maybe you don't look at her like human garbage despite the fact that she's doing the best she can and irregardless will never be an acceptable person to you.

ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.
Tim Allen and Austin Powers things should be coming out of her mouth if she's 45. It's from her generation for fucks sake

i have no idea what amaze-balls is though.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

mdm posted:

Your coworker sounds like an unfunny version of Pam from Archer

yeah that's about right

she isn't a gifted comedian, guys. this is some really annoying poo poo.

also, she hates ghostbusters. i try not to judge people for their tastes in entertainment because who gives a gently caress? but when every single opinion you have is 100% terrible...

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

Sheep-Goats posted:

No she thinks you were being honest but she was just laughing because she likes you and it helps her get through her lovely day to think maybe you don't look at her like human garbage despite the fact that she's doing the best she can and irregardless will never be an acceptable person to you.

boo hoo

Jimbo Jaggins posted:

i can feel the sexual tension in every post

you caught me. we're actually getting married in june! yayyy!

:barf:

a misanthrope fucked around with this message at 11:08 on May 5, 2015

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

A misanthrope posted:

boo hoo


you caught me. we're actually getting married in june! yayyy!

:barf:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkFQoCGSEEI

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

lol

opus111
Jul 6, 2014

the best thing about threads like these is when postesrs go 'sounds like a really nice lady!' etc. when you know they actually can't stand the thought of her but want to appear cool and chill in front of gbs goons.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Prank her.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

opus111 posted:

the best thing about threads like these is when postesrs go 'sounds like a really nice lady!' etc. when you know they actually can't stand the thought of her but want to appear cool and chill in front of gbs goons.

exactly



:eyepop:

Simstim
Mar 16, 2005

You just gave me a great idea buddy.
sounds like a really nice lady

bonvivant
Oct 1, 2014

I may be racist, transphobic, an antisemite and a misogynist, but I project like an angel ;)

A misanthrope posted:

Phrases she uses every day:

"Don't taze me bro" -- (we work in news so tazing comes up a lot)

"That's hot"

*Austin Powers impression that is 18 loving years old at this point* "Yeah baby!"

"Home-skillet"

"Cray cray"

"amaze-balls"

*Tim Allen Home Improvement grunt*


...And many more!

So what should I do, GBS? Do you have coworkers like this? What did you do? Did you kill yourself? I'm working on killing myself but for unrelated reasons (because you keep posting threads about sriracha and carmel macchiatos)

she sounds cool op way better than the guy who leaves zionist literature around my office lol

Alien Sex Manual
Dec 14, 2010

is not a sandwich

I thought you were overreacting until you mentioned that she doesn't like Ghostbusters. There's no excuse for that.

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

bonvivant posted:

the guy who leaves zionist literature around my office lol

:eyepop: do you know who it is? tell us more

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

Glaucus atlanticus posted:

I thought you were overreacting until you mentioned that she doesn't like Ghostbusters. There's no excuse for that.

see??? this woman isn't human!

bonvivant
Oct 1, 2014

I may be racist, transphobic, an antisemite and a misogynist, but I project like an angel ;)

A misanthrope posted:

:eyepop: do you know who it is? tell us more

an old baptist dude. get me out of the south or flush my carcass down a toilet lol

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

bonvivant posted:

an old baptist dude. get me out of the south or flush my carcass down a toilet lol



when he looks at you, pretend to talk into a hidden earpiece. greet him with "shalom" every day

Obligatory Handle
Feb 27, 2004

by Lowtax
I was in a section of an office with four cubicles. The other three cubicles were filled with 40-60 yr old women. One of them played "Red Solo Cup" aloud every other day and the others would laugh and snort like it was the funniest thing ever. This went on for two years. Eventually I killed myself in front of them and I am posting this from gay heaven/straight hell.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

hm, this is a difficult case alright. maybe you could plant an ied in your cubicle and spin the wheel on when it blows up. worst case, you kill yourself which you were thinking of doing anyway; best case you get a new cubicle space far away from her.

e: oh yeah real best case is she for some reason gets too close and is blown up with your cubicle

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

Obligatory Handle posted:

I was in a section of an office with four cubicles. The other three cubicles were filled with 40-60 yr old women. One of them played "Red Solo Cup" aloud every other day and the others would laugh and snort like it was the funniest thing ever. This went on for two years. Eventually I killed myself in front of them and I am posting this from gay heaven/straight hell.


Ignatius M. Meen posted:

hm, this is a difficult case alright. maybe you could plant an ied in your cubicle and spin the wheel on when it blows up. worst case, you kill yourself which you were thinking of doing anyway; best case you get a new cubicle space far away from her.

e: oh yeah real best case is she for some reason gets too close and is blown up with your cubicle


I think I'm starting to see what I need to do here: Kill myself in front of her in the most horrific way possible while making it clear she drove me to do it. Maybe scream "NO MORE DISCO!" before committing seppuku with the cake knife we keep in the breakroom for when people have birthdays.

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


Does your coworker insert the following into every situation?
Im gay

Something something caramel macchiato

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

tater_salad posted:

Does your coworker insert the following into every situation?
Im gay

Something something caramel macchiato

Oh poo poo that's a really good point.

I've surrounded myself with idiots irl and online. I'm doing this to myself.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Kill her then yourself

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

opus111 posted:

"Home-skillet"? wtf is that about?

It's about famlee home slice.

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...
just answer every catchphrase and joke with "heh. same"

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

A misanthrope posted:

no she's like 45

no



thanks im building a guillotine in my backyard from old keurig machines

would

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

I'm into this as well

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004
what IT would really be needed in a dick sucking factory? i mean theres dick and theres sucking with occasional minding of the stepchildren i assume. seems pretty straightforward...

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

I don't miss my coworker who was just the quietest little gently caress up Ive ever seen. He's on his 3rd Asian* wife who he speaks at like a baby when he's on the phone with her. He got corrected one time at work over something and has been a panicy little poo poo ever since, even tried to start offloading anything touchy on me until I put my foot down on that, just so he wouldn't get a talking to again. Bitches at me about things I have no control over and doesn't like it when I either don't care or tell him we have a boss for that go talk to them. and after all that he's just not plain good at his job!

Also he used to be a paralegal and paralegals are some of the worst people I've ever had to deal with as a group

*as in born & raised in an Asian country doesn't speak english only here cause they married his lame rear end

Jimbo Jaggins
Jul 19, 2013

porkchop_express posted:

what IT would really be needed in a dick sucking factory? i mean theres dick and theres sucking with occasional minding of the stepchildren i assume. seems pretty straightforward...

Payroll.

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

I'm sure they're all getting paid under the table

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glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot

A misanthrope posted:

when he looks at you, pretend to talk into a hidden earpiece. greet him with "shalom" every day

holy poo poo this would be awesome please take this advice

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