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Womyn Capote
Jul 5, 2004


Please post the steps or a flowchart... I can't get past friendship level

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Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
take amphetamines, they make you sexier

Nic Cage dick cage
Jun 23, 2009

Lipstick Apathy
before you begin remember that theyre often more frightened of you than you are of them.

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



put ur weiner back in ur pants

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

oncearoundaltair posted:

before you begin remember that theyre often more frightened of you than you are of them.

i find this to be true. if you stand between them and the exit it puts you in a position of power, too

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

-Misfit-
Apr 20, 2005

I come in the name of Jesus Christ by the power of the holy spirit Bitch!
tell them theyd be gorgeous if they lost 5 pounds

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



turn around and pretend to talk with ur butt ur butt pheromones will alert her to ur presence

ReusableBags
Mar 11, 2015
Clack your mandibles and perform the mating dance

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

approach her parents and present them a dowry of a hundred men-at-arms, land, oxen and captured slaves

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

Mr. Pumroy posted:

approach her parents and present them a dowry of a hundred men-at-arms, land, oxen and captured slaves

i think ur doin it wrong

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

silence knave and be quit of mine sight

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
When you call their ad from back page or wherever do not discuss specifics, then put the money on the table prior to their arrival to mitigate any awkwardness. Anyway have fun!

wynott dunn
Aug 9, 2006

What is to be done?

Who or what can challenge, and stand a chance at beating, the corporate juggernauts dominating the world?
make it clear you'll pay for a taxi for her to get out of your sight once the seed is sown

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

Don't do it!!

Iseeyouseemeseeyou
Jan 3, 2011

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!

i prefer this method;

Iseeyouseemeseeyou
Jan 3, 2011

Fetus Tree posted:

i prefer this method;



you always did like sloppy seconds

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
pull out your dick

ninotoreS
Aug 20, 2009

Thanks for the input, Jeff!
be clean and improve your smile at the dentist, then use it a lot

seriously this is enough, even for moderately ugly people


oh man

so good

NomChompsky
Sep 17, 2008

approach them confidently and slowly unfold a crumpled piece of paper from your pocket before there eyes

it is a printout of your something awful postcount

UV_Catastrophe
Dec 29, 2008

Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are,

"It might have been."
Pillbug
absolutely do not speak unless spoken to


stare at your feet

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
1. :pedo:

2. :love:

3. :redhammer:

4. :ninja:

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:
1. :stalker:

2. :flame:

3. :pervert: :byodame:

Fusilli Jerry
Dec 13, 2013

ASSMAN
You gotta be really sweaty so they get a good whiff of your man scent.. Also make sure to NEVER break eye contact, you gotta show off how alpha you are

old-timey newspaper gal
Feb 23, 2005
After getting out of a long relationship I tried talking to a girl at the gym last week. It was pretty awkward and she did not permit me access to engage sex on her. On a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being severely autistic 10 being goku) I gave myself a 4.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
Ooops i've dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong.

son gay. so what
Mar 13, 2011
The first butt plug, called a 'Rectal Dilator', was invented by Frank E. Young in 1892

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
Maybe try a hoore first?

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

The first step in the procedure is to let out the hot blood that's been screaming to find a way out of your body.

www
Aug 4, 2010

just play it cool man

Tujague
May 8, 2007

by LadyAmbien
Your first conversation should include the phrase "I treat women with respect"

After that I would start yelling catchphrases from Arrested Development

Pack your rear end crack with dryer sheets in case you need to rip one

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
M'lady

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
just pretend they're boys but ones your family introduced you to so you gotta gauge the situation before you let loose with the crazy racism/sexism or whatever

then once you're talking like normal people and you feel attraction you can ask them out or whatever. this is the part most people gently caress up; if you don't show clear interest (without acting like a loving creep) you'll most likely be seen as a friend instead of a potential lay and then you'll be wondering why everyone keeps friend zoning you

son gay. so what
Mar 13, 2011

Tujague posted:

Your first conversation should include the phrase "I treat women with respect"

After that I would start yelling catchphrases from Arrested Development

Pack your rear end crack with dryer sheets in case you need to rip one

Also tell them interesting lady facts such as
The first butt plug, called a 'Rectal Dilator', was invented by Frank E. Young in 1892

Davincie
Jul 7, 2008

>say hello
>quickly walk away

Punished Chuck
Dec 27, 2010

Davincie posted:

>say hello
>quickly walk away

Kthulhu5000
Jul 25, 2006

by R. Guyovich
walk up to them in park when they walking their dog.

note gender of dog (you may have to sneak up close and squint to determine this)

if it's a boy dog, tell 'em "well, I know your boyfriend here (imply this heavily, head nod and all) is good looking and probably a riot in the sack, but does he really take care of your needs?"

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

This is the only correct way to deal with the inferior female mind.

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Leroy Dennui
Aug 9, 2014

Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones
:gaysper::frogbon:

Hot Jam posted:

After getting out of a long relationship I tried talking to a girl at the gym last week. It was pretty awkward and she did not permit me access to engage sex on her. On a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being severely autistic 10 being goku) I gave myself a 4.

Did you have a boner?

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