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>Take a shower, and put on clean cargo shorts. shirt, socks and sandals. Replace fedora with trilby.
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May 6, 2015 01:26
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 08:16 |
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>Shower, change clothes, find cellphone and check it for clues
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May 6, 2015 01:56
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>Jump in the laundry pile and make clothes angels, completely disregarding the couch-corpse
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May 7, 2015 02:27
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> Use the pizza box and caramel macchiato cups to fashion yourself a sweet set of Samurai armor. Continue ignoring bleeding corpse behind couch.
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May 8, 2015 01:12
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> Stuff the loose cabling under the desk into the Fleshlight in order to organize it. Continue to ignore body behind the couch. Microwave pizza rolls and stick toothpicks in them to have a classy hors d'oeuvres waiting for your guest.
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May 8, 2015 04:25
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> Check cellphone for any missed calls or texts. Check current value of bitcoins. Feel corpse's boobs. Eat microwaved pizza rolls without bothering with toothpicks - that ship has already sailed.
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May 9, 2015 04:20
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>Since cold Taco Bell food is missing, order pizza. This is no time to have your senses dulled by hunger.
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May 10, 2015 01:13
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> Tell your mom that you are dealing with "serious business." Barely remember to mumble happy Mother's Day to her, then hang up and call Dominos to find out the status of your pizza delivery before you starve.
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May 11, 2015 06:46
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> The TCC goon is clearly a kindred spirit, sharing your love of amiibos and also having an unrequited love for a girl named Emily. Abandon plan to frame him for her murder, and invite him to share your incoming Dominos pizza. Wait for a socially-appropriate moment to ask him for advice on how to deal with mystery corpse.
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May 14, 2015 18:07
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>"Complete? Oh, I don't think you understand who you are talking to..." Drop trou and with a dramatic flourish retrieve Amiibo from anus. Display it like a trophy to assert dominance over TCC goon. Forget to pull up your shorts.
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May 15, 2015 02:11
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 08:16 |
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>Trusting in the traction provided by your utilitarian flip-flops, you raise the Masterchief figurine over your head to deliver an epic 2001-A Space Odyssey monkey-style killing blow. You struggle to get it over your head, and then your pitiful strength gives out and you topple over backwards, falling like a doughy cut tree in a puddle of poop. While you lie there, panting and pantsless, there is a knock at the door.
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May 16, 2015 00:21
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