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GET IN THE ROBOT
Nov 28, 2007

JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI
Are those "I loving love science" clickbait shitposts people share on facebook reporting on onion articles now or has reality and absurdist parody finally merged to become one

http://www.iflscience.org/japan-engineers-design-robotic-bear-to-aid-in-assisted-suicide/

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NihilismNow
Aug 31, 2003
That is no Zaku boy, No zaku.

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007
Ramrod XTreme

quote:

The robot weighs 140kg and it is powered by specially designed software and advanced actuators (a type of motor that controls mechanisms). SeppuKuma also offers 23 very different methods one can choose to end their life, including Everlasting Sleep (lethal injection), Pillow Kisses (suffocation), Peaceful Breath (helium asphyxia) and Sleepy time Hug which is where the robotic bear strangles its partner until their pulse stops for 15 minutes. All of these attributes enable the SeppuKuma to give it’s patient the power to choose how they get to end their own life. An official from the JSDD says that, so far, robots have never been used for this purpose in any hospital.

this is horrifying

cool tree bro
Jul 27, 2010
I wish this was real.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
New Research Shows Dogs CAN See Their Own Farts

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

http://www.engadget.com/2015/02/26/robear-japan-caregiver/

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
anything that gives people control over their own lives is a plus. there is also the potential benefit of keeping the suicide forest corpse-free!

GET IN THE ROBOT
Nov 28, 2007

JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

I was pretty sure it wasn't real and that ifuckinglovescience is a lovely website but way to ruin all our fun and kill the mystery, man

I had to make sure the IFLS article wasn't dated April 1st

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49
I'll take a few of those pillow kisses

Mr. Creakle
Apr 27, 2007

Protecting your virginity



Its real purpose isn't much less depressing, basically robotic company for old people in a world where staff and family can't be assed to pay them any emotional attention :(

Miltank
Dec 27, 2009

by XyloJW
I want that sexy robot to deathstrangle my wang.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
hahahaha seppukuma

GET IN THE ROBOT
Nov 28, 2007

JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

Cuckoo posted:

Its real purpose isn't much less depressing, basically robotic company for old people in a world where staff and family can't be assed to pay them any emotional attention :(

here is a glimpse into how depressing life in japan is:

http://phys.org/news/2015-02-japan-robot-dogs-life-.html

people in japan are so lonely and isolated that the grow insanely attached to fake robot dogs who aren't real or actually alive or actually have any feelings

then there's the guys who choose to not date real women, only fake high school girls on some nintendo DS game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsikPswAYUM

if I lived in japan, I'd want SepuKuma to off me

hohhat
Sep 25, 2014
How did they produce a suicide bot before a gently caress bot?! This isn't the Japan I grew up with.

GET IN THE ROBOT
Nov 28, 2007

JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

Agag posted:

How did they produce a suicide bot before a gently caress bot?! This isn't the Japan I grew up with.

I pretty sure they have fuckbots already but if you've seen any of those japanese girl robots, they look really loving creepy and I'm not gonna post any b\c they gimmie the heebie jeebies

pr0p
Dec 8, 2011
http://www.engadget.com/2015/02/26/robear-japan-caregiver/

Dr. Chauncey Siemens doesn't exist and you read terrible 'news' websites. hth

Seroxat
Jan 10, 2011
SeppuKama is the second coming of Jesus, mark my words. Won't be long before SeppuKama is nailed to the cross for his sins, but not before he leaves a trail of broken bodies in his wake. It will take the combined might of 17 countries to bring SeppuKama down, mark my words. Welp see ya have a good one.

r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001

It's not like you need a robot bear when a real bear would be perfectly suited for the job.

I can sort of see the point of robot dogs for people with allergies, but I don't think that would be a problem in this case.

Bea Nanner
Oct 20, 2003

Je suis excité!
http://www.snopes.com/politics/science/suicidebear.asp

GET IN THE ROBOT
Nov 28, 2007

JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

i loving love science is a lovely website and I think my facebook friends are pretty dumb

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
I wonder if there originally was a Japanese onion article or something that people took seriously. The names of the suicide maneuvers seem intentionally humorous rather than hoaxy.

GET IN THE ROBOT
Nov 28, 2007

JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

ArbitraryC posted:

I wonder if there originally was a Japanese onion article or something that people took seriously. The names of the suicide maneuvers seem intentionally humorous rather than hoaxy.

that and its literally called SeppuKuma

it is a pretty drat funny article, I just wonder if IFL science is in on the joke or if they unironically think it's real

because if it's the latter then it's way more funny

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StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

quote:

The layout of IFLScience.org was designed to immitate the layout of IFLScience.com, a legitimate site that aims to present science in "an amusing and accessible way."

IFLScience.org does not contain any dislcaimers to indicate that it is a hoax website, but the website does link to the anti-science and possibly satirical Facebook group "Christians Against Dinosaurs."

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