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well goddamn i guess everyone on SA is a loving expert pussy eater then. you know what? gently caress you guys it's not even a fair fight because i never got to read the full guide gently caress this
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May 9, 2015 03:55
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:45 |
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I walked into the bathroom right after the teacher did and while I was at the urinal I heard his turd splash into the water.
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May 9, 2015 03:56
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thathonkey posted:well goddamn i guess everyone on SA is a loving expert pussy eater then. you know what? gently caress you guys it's not even a fair fight because i never got to read the full guide gently caress this Most of the guide was just "and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp and slurp" repeated over and over. poo poo guide glad I didn't pay for it.
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May 9, 2015 03:57
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once when i was in first grade i opened a urinal door to find a janitor coppin a squat. he just looked up at me with an expression that said "this isn't even close to the most undignified thing that's ever happened to me" and looked back down. i shut the door without a word.
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May 9, 2015 03:59
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sounds like you two shared a really special moment, you should treasure that
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May 9, 2015 04:09
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I had a black eye from a show, and I got called down to the principal's office because someone told them my dad hit me lol.
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May 9, 2015 04:09
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR5b7FS1nrs
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May 9, 2015 11:51
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Did anyone else use ettercap to route the entire schools internet traffic through their computer and filter every picture to hello.jpg
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May 9, 2015 11:57
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one time i faked sick and stayed home like ferris bueller but then 9/11 happened that morning
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May 9, 2015 13:02
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jarofpiss posted:one time i faked sick and stayed home like ferris bueller but then 9/11 happened that morning All this is your fault.
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May 9, 2015 13:02
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jarofpiss posted:one time i faked sick and stayed home like ferris bueller but then 9/11 happened that morning I faked sick the morning of the Columbine massacre. Was in school 9/11/01 though but they shut school down around noon sent everyone home.
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May 9, 2015 13:06
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I wasn't on SA until after high school, but Junior year I think it was I had a computer class in the morning. The teacher had her screen projected onto the wall so she could walk us through programming tutorials and such, but she had no idea what she was doing and spent most of the time doing random crap while we learned the curriculum Vbasic textbooks. But she would always leave the projector volume on high because there were video tutorials and such. So one morning a few of us from her class sent her an email from some prank site... I forget the name of it, from a fake but legit looking email address. So when we got there we were just waiting for her to check her email like she always did. It didn't take long. The speakers blasted, "CHICKS WITH DICKS DOT COM. HALF CHICK, HALF DICK, ALLLLL THE TIME!" She didn't take it too well. I felt bad actually.
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May 9, 2015 13:14
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There used to be this website that you could visit, and it would start spawning a bunch of new browser windows that all started playing this .wav of a guy exclaiming "Im watching porn!" Got pulled up on one of the computers in my homeroom and the teacher raced over and was desperately trying to shutdown, realized he couldnt because the website infinity spawn was blocking everything, started reaching for the power but at first he grabbed the monitor plug, looked back up to see the screen was off , was puzzled for a few secs, then ducked back under the table and frantically started unplugging everything until he found the PC. All the while "Im watching porn! Im watching porn! Im watching porn!"
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May 9, 2015 13:21
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do all your high school tales involve computers you fucken nerd
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May 9, 2015 13:26
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this guy in my high school once drove a moped that was missing tires inside the school lobby. the wheels left deep skid marks in the floor that are probably still there after 15+ years
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May 9, 2015 13:28
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Dyna Soar posted:do all your high school tales involve computers you fucken nerd Seems to be the only poo poo goons can identify with 
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May 9, 2015 13:31
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a bunch of guys a year below me broke into the basement of a house next to our school and smoked weed there for all winter. they got caught in the spring and were expelled. the school tried to force everyone to take a drug test but one parent threatened to sue if they did. we were very relieved since we had like, 2 months of school left and a lot of us toked up now and then Dyna Soar fucked around with this message at 13:35 on May 9, 2015 |
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May 9, 2015 13:33
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Dyna Soar posted:do all your high school tales involve computers you fucken nerd They absolutely do
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May 9, 2015 13:34
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one time in high school they tried to make us learn c+ programming and i think i had to make a red ball move around a window or something. i thought to myself "i will never ever need to know this bullshit in the real world" and i was right
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May 9, 2015 13:36
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jarofpiss posted:one time in high school they tried to make us learn c+ programming and i think i had to make a red ball move around a window or something. i thought to myself "i will never ever need to know this bullshit in the real world" and i was right i thought the same thing about multiplication tables in elementary school and i was right about that too. usually my gut feeling is right on these things
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May 9, 2015 13:36
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are you saying you haven't used multiplication tables at all since high school i use them like, daily
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May 9, 2015 13:37
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Dyna Soar posted:are you saying you haven't used multiplication tables at all since high school since elementary school, you should work on reading better
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May 9, 2015 13:38
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jarofpiss posted:since elementary school, you should work on reading better threat title high school tales, smartass. start an elementary school tales thread for your stupid elementary poo poo
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May 9, 2015 13:39
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Dyna Soar posted:threat title high school tales, smartass. start an elementary school tales thread for your stupid poo poo look don't take my dad's side on this multiplication tables thing history has repeatedly proven him to be wrong wrong wrong. and i've already told my 9/11 high school story and that's pretty much all i've got
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May 9, 2015 13:40
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They held one of our school dances in the cafeteria one year and it got too rowdy after like 30 min so they shut it down early which just flushed the crowd out into the teacher parking lot area. There were a couple of officers there just working off duty security for the dance trying desperately to get people out of there but i dunno what they were thinking most peopl had to be picked up by parents and poo poo who werent expecting to come for another hour or two. Most people at my school were bused in including me So they called a bunch more cops up to the school, pepper spray was deployed, people just started running and poo poo. This was before the age of kids having cell phones so my friend and i decided we would just walk back to his parents house. Took us about an hour and a half so his parents were just like "oh we were about to come pick u up from the dance how was it? Ok goodnight" not "why did yall just walk like 2-3 miles to our house ?"
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May 9, 2015 13:44
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one of my friends went hunting one weekend and brought the severed deer head to school and left it in a trashcan
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May 9, 2015 13:46
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My idiot buddy almost rolled his mom's minivan down a hill when they drove it into a park near the school. Ended up rolling it for real after getting high/drunk and driving it in a blizzard. Same guy got a faked safety cert on a '79 granada or some other rust bucket and drove it for like two whole weeks before he had buddies pretend to steal it. The thing had shocks that were so shot it looked like it was on hydraulics every time it turned a corner, like, the body would lift up in the direction opposite to the turn. It made a hell of a lot of weird noises too. Another buddy skipped school and started some small bonfires in a nature reserve not far from school. One time he got the idea to throw an empty bottle of butane into the fire. He was genuinely surprised that it exploded, he ended up at the ER getting shrapnel removed from his rear end. I was paired with the biggest stoner on the planet in one particular Graphics class. We had to shoot a short promotional video for a fictitious product. He was so high he couldn't even form real sentences, but all he had to do was film. I go through the pitch, all the while he's filming me and laughing to himself. I get the video off him later and it's just 3 minutes of a tight cropped zoomed in shot of my ear. He zoomed the camera in and out and while turning it side to side so it was just my ear in stonervision for 3 minutes. The thing is, he wasn't trying to prank me. He genuinely thought he was a creative genius. There was one kid in my school who was sort of infamous for being absolutely nuts. He was just way too intense. He got hit in the head with a shot put once and woke up screaming about someone stealing his legs. His moment of glory was when he hid in a cubby hole of some kind (rumour has it that he removed the grate to a big air vent and hid inside there) until the school was locked up for the night. He then got into the English room and stole the video projector. He pawned it the next day for something like $300 (it was probably worth like, 2 grand). The cops of course caught onto his plan when they found it at the pawn shop with the school name etched into it. A family friend's idiot son brought light pole down on his car after hot boxing it at lunch time.
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May 9, 2015 14:57
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Jimson posted:I was birthed into existence when four kids decided to print a fifty page guide on eating pussy. They disposed of it into a vat of toxic waste, creating me! The pussy eating super hero. Always ready to belt out my catch phrase "Mouth the alphabet into her clitoris!" I embarked on a quest to save the world. hosed up if true
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May 9, 2015 15:10
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I installed starcraft and ut 99 on the computers in computer lab I got head at least 3 times a week in the parking garage from a girl whom I told I didnt want to date bc I was going to college soon but wed be totally great together and omg I like u so much. I was dating a girl from a different school. She found out, didnt take it gracefully. I played paintball (not for the school just like in the woods) and football and baseball (catcher) so I was p much covered in nasty bruises and welts like 365. I was also called to the deans office and they were like is everything ok at home, is someone hitting you. Lol Got kicked out of homecoming and prom for grinding with girls (diff yrs) girls didnt get kicked out. Smh My junior year, the seniors were like really poorly behaved. I was talking to a senior girl and she invited me to prom and we went....well like the entire class was fuckin black out wasted when they showed up and kids had smuggled in handles and poo poo. Left empty handles of vodka under tables, crushed beer ca s everywhere, one of the kids got violent and pulled a sink out of a wall, broken mirrors etc. So next yr, my senior yr, we're about to pull up to prom and everyone's phone starts going off. Well, they decided to randomly breathalyze kids and would turn you away if you blew anything or were noticibly drunk. Word spread like wildfire, but they had laid out like gift bags w name tags and if your bag had a star you were gunna get popd. Someone took a picture, it spread, everyone else went in for like an hour than we went to a hotel and there was a massive after party where the hotel called the police to kick us out. Thanks for listening
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May 9, 2015 15:15
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the anarchy punk kids got into a habit of trying to trip people coming from the library staircase to go to the cafeteria, so between stringing up trip lines or tossing brooms and poo poo at peoples feet, they got a few people and had a good laugh doing it and then one day, one guy got the brilliant idea of rubbing a banana peel over the white linoleum tiles at the base of the stairs making the floor slick as poo poo while being totally invisible. just after finishing the rub-down and going to their watch positions, one of the special ed kids with padded helmet and everything straight bolted past his handler to burst into the cafeteria, except he ran directly over the trap tile at speed with full running gait extension, and he ate it face forward taking out a few teeth in the process you've never heard screaming like an autistic kid just bleeding everywhere, crying out in probably the worst pain anyone could experience the administrators spent the next week reviewing camera footage and trying to pin the perpetrator, but because every gutter-punk was wearing the same Black Flag patched hoodies, they couldn't identify any one person and here I sit, writing my sonic passion fan fiction, wishing I could get my four teeth back
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May 9, 2015 15:24
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My dog literally ate my completed homework once. I taped a few scraps together and turned it in. I got an A on that math assignment
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May 9, 2015 15:36
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boner penis posted:
 I was suspended for 9 days (7 at-home, 2 days in-school) for making a sarcastic comment about my high school's destruction online, and even mentioning that 'I'll probably get on Dateline with this". I wasn't a smart kid.
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May 9, 2015 15:37
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diabeetz posted:there was this half crippled kid with a walker who went to my public school, and maybe highschool too, and everyone made fun of him behind his back because he smelled like poo poo because well, he poo poo himself. the nurse or the kid?
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May 11, 2015 05:07
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this retarded kid had a habit of running into my latin class and yelling "TO THE DESK!" at our teacher for some loving reason. Happened over and over, we all just kinda got used to it Then one day he runs in, and the teacher expects the normal ritual, except the kid turns to the class, has this poo poo eating grin on his face, and yells gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress gently caress until his helper dragged him away. We could still hear Doppler FUCKs echoing down the hallway
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May 11, 2015 05:44
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Riptor posted:this retarded kid had a habit of running into my latin class and yelling "TO THE DESK!" at our teacher for some loving reason. Happened over and over, we all just kinda got used to it be glad his mother didn't buy him any guns.
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May 11, 2015 05:46
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I broke into a classroom to staple 'Eazy E for President' printouts everywhere with a picture of Eazy E on them. I say broke in because the door was locked but all I did was open the back window and climb through it.
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May 11, 2015 06:04
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Moridin920 posted:I broke into a classroom to staple 'Eazy E for President' printouts everywhere with a picture of Eazy E on them. Did he win the election?
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May 11, 2015 06:28
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:45 |
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My friend had a full suit gorilla costume in high school and I lived on a fairly dark street with only a few lamps in a wooded area. A big group of us decided that it would be fun to take turns putting on the gorilla suit and doing the Sasquatch walk, where you swing your arms at your sides and look back, in front of passing cars at night. You would start in one forested area and make your way across the street to another forested area and freak out the drivers. We did this for a little while until my friend John got there. John got excited super easily and started giggling and demanding to use the suit so we said okay your turn next. The rest of us hunker down in the trees when we see a car coming and john goes running out into the street acting like a gorilla and beating his chest. The Sasquatch idea was lost on him apparently. Any way the car slams on its brakes and John runs over and starts beating on the hood. Now what we can see that he cant is that the car has POLICE written on the side. We start freaking out and laughing especially when the siren and lights come on and John just freezes in terror. We ran and left him to his fate.
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May 11, 2015 07:22
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