Who did crazy people think were following them before the CIA existed?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Who did crazy people think were following them before the CIA existed?

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ghost host: Apr 17, 2010; ain't got no cash
ain't go no style

oval office Inspection Agency
Federal Boobie Inspectors

# ? May 10, 2015 05:44

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:55

Dead Gay Romans: Mar 19, 2015; Pitbull enthusiast

Serious Frolicking posted:

the difference is, the nsa really is spying on you. they are only limited by current technology and not any questions of legality or necessity. so, while their ability to monitor information is probably much smaller in scope than a schizophrenic might imagine, it will only get larger with time.

The NSA has really done crazy people a massive favor by finally vindicating all their fears, at least technically. Since NSA has probably "spied" on all of us, it's just sitting on a server somewhere and likely won't ever be seen by human eyes.

Still pretty hosed up though, wish I was born in ancient Rome or something, could have scrawled about how I was dead and gay on a brothel wall and have you goons read that poo poo on here thousands of years later.

I would be a poo poo-posting time-lord.

# ? May 10, 2015 05:46

TEAYCHES: Jun 23, 2002

Dead Gay Romans posted:

poo poo-posting time-lord

# ? May 10, 2015 05:47

psyopmonkey: Nov 15, 2008; by Lowtax

diabeetz posted:

oval office Inspection Agency
Federal Boobie Inspectors

Daft Imbecile Agency
National Retard Organization
Butts And Fake Tits Enterprise
Homeland Security

# ? May 10, 2015 05:47

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

Dead Gay Romans posted:

The NSA has really done crazy people a massive favor by finally vindicating all their fears, at least technically. Since NSA has probably "spied" on all of us, it's just sitting on a server somewhere and likely won't ever be seen by human eyes.

Still pretty hosed up though, wish I was born in ancient Rome or something, could have scrawled about how I was dead and gay on a brothel wall and have you goons read that poo poo on here thousands of years later.

I would be a poo poo-posting time-lord.

more likely you'd have been caesar's official illiterate eunuch rear end-wiper or something and nobody would ever know or care you existed, just like in this lifetime

# ? May 10, 2015 05:49

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

Poetic Justice posted:

so maybe the schizophrenics were/are actually prophets?

nah, they tend to believe that they are being targeted specifically, when really no one gives a poo poo about some nutjob too messed up to even join a militia.

# ? May 10, 2015 05:52

Cold and Ugly: Jun 1, 2006; Look what that slick shit bought ya
A first class ticket to Lucifer, real name Christopher

Probably like literally anything. Jesuits, their dead sister, mice. Mental illness is really ugly.

# ? May 10, 2015 05:53

Dead Gay Romans: Mar 19, 2015; Pitbull enthusiast

you irl posted:

more likely you'd have been caesar's official illiterate eunuch rear end-wiper or something and nobody would ever know or care you existed, just like in this lifetime

literacy was pretty good in the Empire dude, even the most lowly rear end-wipers could probably scrawl some legible poo poo-posts, let alone an imperial eunuch, which was actually a pretty powerful gig, if you can get past the whole castration deal.

Now if I was born in the Middle Ages, well gently caress.

# ? May 10, 2015 05:55

Cold and Ugly: Jun 1, 2006; Look what that slick shit bought ya
A first class ticket to Lucifer, real name Christopher

Dead Gay Romans posted:

The NSA has really done crazy people a massive favor by finally vindicating all their fears, at least technically. Since NSA has probably "spied" on all of us, it's just sitting on a server somewhere and likely won't ever be seen by human eyes.

Still pretty hosed up though, wish I was born in ancient Rome or something, could have scrawled about how I was dead and gay on a brothel wall and have you goons read that poo poo on here thousands of years later.

I would be a poo poo-posting time-lord.

<crazy person who thinks the government planted a transistor radio somewhere in his teeth> The government reads my email. I knew it. Okay, I feel vindicated now. I'm done.

# ? May 10, 2015 05:57

killmeimmafailure: Apr 19, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo

Dead Gay Romans posted:

literacy was pretty good in Empire dude, even the most lowly rear end-wipers could probably scrawl some legible poo poo-posts, let alone an imperial eunuch, which was actually a pretty powerful gig, if you can get past the whole castration deal.

Now if I was born in the Middle Ages, well gently caress.

It was arguable that the scribes had a ton of power back in the day too. Like, the royalty was often too drunk or high on lead to proof reading or anything, so the scribes and messengers could really shape how things went down. It's fascinating reading old rear end documents, in general. not the history stuff but like old court decisions and poo poo. Like poo poo don change mayne

E: oh yeah and roman grafti was kinda funny too. Lot's of dicks and std talk. sorta like something awful. One day aliens will dig up the something awful severs and wonder why sonic had such a rabid fanbase, and probably assume he was some poverty deity

killmeimmafailure fucked around with this message at 06:00 on May 10, 2015

# ? May 10, 2015 05:58

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

the Medici family, templars, nondescript "far east peoples"

# ? May 10, 2015 05:59

Cold and Ugly: Jun 1, 2006; Look what that slick shit bought ya
A first class ticket to Lucifer, real name Christopher

Dead Gay Romans posted:

literacy was pretty good in the Empire dude, even the most lowly rear end-wipers could probably scrawl some legible poo poo-posts, let alone an imperial eunuch, which was actually a pretty powerful gig, if you can get past the whole castration deal.

Now if I was born in the Middle Ages, well gently caress.

you irl posted:

nobody would ever know or care you existed, just like in this lifetime

# ? May 10, 2015 06:00

Dead Gay Romans: Mar 19, 2015; Pitbull enthusiast

Also the answer to the OP's question is, always has been, and in many ways will always be;

skeletonotherkin posted:

Jews.

killmeimmafailure posted:

It was arguable that the scribes had a ton of power back in the day too. Like, the royalty was often too drunk or high on lead to proof reading or anything, so the scribes and messengers could really shape how things went down. It's fascinating reading old rear end documents, in general. not the history stuff but like old court decisions and poo poo. Like poo poo don change mayne

E: oh yeah and roman grafti was kinda funny too. Lot's of dicks and std talk. sorta like something awful. One day aliens will dig up the something awful severs and wonder why sonic had such a rabid fanbase, and probably assume he was some poverty deity

lol, "Fascinating, these primitive humans appear to have donated money to the god of Awful Things for the right to express their most terrible inner thoughts. Clearly some kind of penance. They seem to have not yet evolved control over their bowels as well...fascinating..."

Dead Gay Romans fucked around with this message at 06:05 on May 10, 2015

# ? May 10, 2015 06:00

killmeimmafailure: Apr 19, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo

Odd posted:

the Medici family, templars, nondescript "far east peoples"

It's sorta like a reverse rainmaker in a way. Like a rainmaker will tell you to pay him and he'll make rain. If there's no rain, sorry you didn't pay enough. If there is rain, boom he's a hero. Similarly, if you get laid off it's obamas fault. The IRS is loving you.

There's a quarterback analogy that I won't make here too

# ? May 10, 2015 06:02

Cold and Ugly: Jun 1, 2006; Look what that slick shit bought ya
A first class ticket to Lucifer, real name Christopher

killmeimmafailure posted:

It's sorta like a reverse rainmaker in a way. Like a rainmaker will tell you to pay him and he'll make rain. If there's no rain, sorry you didn't pay enough. If there is rain, boom he's a hero. Similarly, if you get laid off it's obamas fault. The IRS is loving you.

There's a quarterback analogy that I won't make here too

Thanks. You seem really stupid.

# ? May 10, 2015 06:05

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

killmeimmafailure posted:

It's sorta like a reverse rainmaker in a way. Like a rainmaker will tell you to pay him and he'll make rain. If there's no rain, sorry you didn't pay enough. If there is rain, boom he's a hero. Similarly, if you get laid off it's obamas fault. The IRS is loving you.

There's a quarterback analogy that I won't make here too

the moops

# ? May 10, 2015 06:05

psyopmonkey: Nov 15, 2008; by Lowtax

Odd posted:

the moops

The moors!

# ? May 10, 2015 06:06

Cold and Ugly: Jun 1, 2006; Look what that slick shit bought ya
A first class ticket to Lucifer, real name Christopher

Dead Gay Romans posted:

Also the answer to the OP's question is, always has been, and in many ways will always be;

lol, "Fascinating, these primitive humans appear to have donated money to the god of Awful Things for the right to express their most terrible inner thoughts. Clearly some kind of penance. They seem to have not yet evolved control over their bowels as well...fascinating..."

Jesus Christ look at this human being.

# ? May 10, 2015 06:11

Dead Gay Romans: Mar 19, 2015; Pitbull enthusiast

Cold and Ugly posted:

Jesus Christ look at this human being.

I like the inherent irony in taking the time to capitalize Jesus Christ but doing it to take his name in vain in a comment he would not approve of. Pro-tier poo poo ITT.

# ? May 10, 2015 06:13

killmeimmafailure: Apr 19, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo

Cold and Ugly posted:

Thanks. You seem really stupid.

hey now partner

# ? May 10, 2015 06:14

killmeimmafailure: Apr 19, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo

Dead Gay Romans posted:

I like the inherent irony in taking the time to capitalize Jesus Christ but doing it to take his name in vain in a comment he would not approve of. Pro-tier poo poo ITT.

no no he's telling jesus to look.

# ? May 10, 2015 06:14

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

Dead Gay Romans posted:

I like the inherent irony in taking the time to capitalize Jesus Christ but doing it to take his name in vain in a comment he would not approve of. Pro-tier poo poo ITT.

moops

# ? May 10, 2015 06:14

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

Poetic Justice posted:

so maybe the schizophrenics were/are actually prophets?

Nah, but a lot of religious prophets probably were schizophrenics. I mean they literally think they were talking to god/god was talking to them/they were god/&c

:tinfoil:

# ? May 10, 2015 08:44

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

mdm posted:

Nah, but a lot of religious prophets probably were schizophrenics. I mean they literally think they were talking to god/god was talking to them/they were god/&c

what if god is just the future "nsa" that has discovered time travel to gently caress with the people that hear voices. Trolls from the future, if you will

# ? May 10, 2015 08:46

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

Poetic Justice posted:

what if god is just the future "nsa" that has discovered time travel to gently caress with the people that hear voices. Trolls from the future, if you will

Does that make Snowden Lucifer in this analogy?

# ? May 10, 2015 08:48

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

man what if schizophrenia didnt exist and we found out that everyone we thought had it just had an rear end in a top hat ventriloquest friend

# ? May 10, 2015 08:48

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

"Hey Moses, build me a ship and get all the animals on there, lol"

# ? May 10, 2015 08:48

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

mdm posted:

Does that make Snowden Lucifer in this analogy?

he raped a girl like the demon he is

# ? May 10, 2015 08:51

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

The OSS.

# ? May 10, 2015 09:07

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

Poetic Justice posted:

he raped a girl like the demon he is

no that was the wikileaks dude

# ? May 10, 2015 09:08

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

mdm posted:

no that was the wikileaks dude

he cut off his dick and became a girl, he's mental, obviously

# ? May 10, 2015 09:09

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Pinkertons

# ? May 10, 2015 09:47

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

Poetic Justice posted:

he cut off his dick and became a girl, he's mental, obviously

no that was the army dude

# ? May 10, 2015 09:56

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

mdm posted:

no that was the army dude

how many of these "guys"" are there, wtf

# ? May 10, 2015 09:59

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

Snowden was a dude at NSA who had a thumb drive

Assange was a possible rapist who started a website that liked to publicize everyone's secrets

Manning was a dude in the army with a thumb drive who is now getting government money to become a lady

hth

# ? May 10, 2015 10:06

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

mdm posted:

Snowden was a dude at NSA who had a thumb drive

Assange was a possible rapist who started a website that liked to publicize everyone's secrets

Manning was a dude in the army with a thumb drive who is now getting government money to become a lady

hth

why are all these people weird rapists tho

# ? May 10, 2015 10:31

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Aesop Poprock posted:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Tilly_Matthews

Whatever the Air Loom Gang was, according to this

The Air Loom was a pretty :black101:

device, you have to admit:

quote:

Matthews believed that a gang of criminals and spies skilled in pneumatic chemistry had taken up residence at London Wall in Moorfields (close to Bethlem) and were tormenting him by means of rays emitted by a machine called the "Air Loom". The torments induced by the rays included "Lobster-cracking", during which the circulation of the blood was prevented by a magnetic field; "Stomach-skinning"; and "Apoplexy-working with the nutmeg grater" which involved the introduction of fluids into the skull. His persecutors bore such names as "the Middleman" (who operated the Air Loom), "the Glove Woman" and "Sir Archy" (who acted as "repeaters" or "active worriers" to enhance Matthews' torment or record the machine's activities) and their leader, a man called "Bill, or the King".

Matthews' delusions had a definite political slant: he claimed that the purpose of this gang was espionage, and that there were many other such gangs armed with Air Looms all over London, using "pneumatic practitioners" to "premagnetize" potential victims with "volatile magnetic fluid". According to Matthews, their chief targets (apart from himself) were leading government figures. By means of their "rays" they could influence ministers' thoughts and read their minds. Matthews declared that William Pitt was "not half" susceptible to these attacks[3] and held that these gangs were responsible for the British military disasters at Buenos Aires in 1807 and Walcheren in 1809 and also for the Nore Mutiny of 1797.

The idea of human behavior being controlled by mechanical means predates the CIA in more examples. This article summarizes the "Influencing Machine" idea in early modern mental illness.

http://cabinetmagazine.org/issues/14/turner.php

quote:

...
The psychiatrist Hans Prinzhorn began collecting for his famous Museum of Pathological Art the same year that Tausk published his essay (within a year Prinzhorn had acquired forty-five hundred works, which are currently housed in the Psychiatric University Hospital in Heidelberg, Germany). One of these images illustrates an Influencing Machine in strikingly graphic form. The artist was Jakob Mohr, a farmer and hawker suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, and his picture shows someone holding a small box which resembles an old-fashioned camera and transmits something like static at its victim. The structural workings of the contraption are explained in a palimpsest of scribbled notes, which Prinzhorn called �word salad.� The operator, who is thought to be the psychiatrist (he wears headphones so that he can listen in on Mohr�s thoughts), aims a radiation tube at his subject that emits �electric waves� and renders him a �hypnotic slave.� The machine�s energy flows two ways�it is a magnet as well as a gun: �Waves are pulled out of me,� Mohr scrawled, �through the positive electrical fluorescent attraction of the organic positive pole as the remote hypnotizer through the earth.� The appliance�s malevolent power over Mohr is illustrated by a series of childishly drawn arrows and wavy tentacles which unite both men in a painful-looking spasm of electricity. ..

quote:

...
In his essay, Victor Tausk tells the unhappy tale of Miss Natalija A. to shed new light on this schizophrenic delusion and to explain the origins of the extraordinary phenomenon of these curious and fictional mind-controlling machines. Natalija A. was a thirty-one-year-old former philosophy student who had been deaf for many years (she communicated solely by writing), and who was haunted by the image of her own double. She felt that she had been controlled for six and a half years by an electrical machine which she said was manufactured in Berlin, though its use was illegal and prohibited by the police. The machine resembled her in every way.  

Her doppelg�nger looked something like the outstretched figure on a sarcophagus; the torso lifted off like the lid of a coffin, and was lined with velvet or silk, to reveal the inner workings of the machine, which consisted of batteries supposed to represent the internal organs. Freud, referring to the case of Natalija A., made a reference to Egyptian mummies, a mode of burial that represents the comforting return to the mother�s body. In other words, the Influencing Machine into which Natalija A. withdrew represents her paranoid attempt to rebuild a fragmented world...  

William Bear fucked around with this message at 10:54 on May 10, 2015

# ? May 10, 2015 10:31

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

Poetic Justice posted:

why are all these people weird rapists tho

most likely none of them are :shrug:

# ? May 10, 2015 10:40

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

mdm posted:

most likely none of them are

snowden is a RUSSIAN NATIONLIST

rear endange is a weird witcher wannna be guy with white hair who rapes women

Manning isn't a man no more

it's all mind games, bro, come on it should be obvious

# ? May 10, 2015 10:47

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:55

God Of Paradise: Jan 23, 2012; You know, I'd be less worried about my 16 year old daughter dating a successful 40 year old cartoonist than dating a 16 year old loser.

I mean, Jesus, kid, at least date a motherfucker with abortion money and house to have sex at where your mother and I don't have to hear it. Also, if he treats her poorly, boom, that asshole's gonna catch a statch charge.

Please, John K. Date my daughter... Save her from dating smelly dropouts who wanna-be Soundcloud rappers.

They believed the Office of Strategic Services were bombarding their skies with chemicals from the engines of biplanes.

# ? May 10, 2015 11:02

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