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Didn't Jamie Oliver get called out for saying his meals take 30 minutes when they take professional chefs close to an hour? Regardless, some day in the future, I'd really like to see a thread that took a variety of good food and chopped the prep down as much as possible. Right now I work ridiculously long hours and I'm getting sick of take out Tibetan momos or microwave rice and broccoli every night.
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May 11, 2015 19:02
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paraquat posted:Either: I've already acknowledged that the pickle thing had no excuse. I'm not going to apologize for it more than once. As far as #3, it isn't whining, I just looked at what I made and gave myself some criticism. "what I made wasn't as good as what I had hoped" and then threw out two possible reasons it might have been. Like I said, I made this thread primarily to learn, so I expect and need criticism but don't call it 'whining' when I acknowledge my own efforts were sub par.
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May 11, 2015 19:05
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Well, for lunch today I decided to 'take it easy' again in an effort to provide more content for the thread. Pan FriedPersonal Pizza  These are the tools/ingredients. Not pictured is the spatula I used. Forgot to take it out for the picture, sorry.  Cut the onion in half, pretty basic.  Made the cuts about this thick, kinda hosed up one. Also, I need to learn a faster way of cooking onion slices. But more on that later.  Self explanatory but for the neophyte the oil makes the onion cook easier.  Put a light layer of mayo on the bottom of the pizza slice. This prevents sticking and also spreads a lot easier than butter or margarine which are practically identical otherwise.  Halve a tomato.  Then I used roughly a quarter of the tomato for the actual recipe. The rest I just snacked on while cooking.  I don't know if cut up tomato has a name but its beautiful to me. Also tasty. Doing it this way primarily because I didn't have any salsa (prefer old-ortega).  Self explanatory. Flipped when each side started to change colors.  This was a problem I didn't forsee. When I flipped the onion they came apart. Didn't end up mattering, but it kind of ruined the aesthetic I was working towards.  Removed the onion from the pan and threw on the pizza slice, mayo faced down.  After 45 seconds or so I threw the tomato-stuff on it. If this has a name please tell me since I don't really like calling it 'stuff'. E: this is also when i added the ketchup  I literally forgot to take a picture of me putting the onions on the pizza which is dumb, I apparently suck at onions. But, either way, the onions are under the cheese.  You can at least kind of see the onion in this pic.  and the finished product. took maybe 8 minutes or so, something in that range. theres really no excuse to not cook almost every meal you eat. Anyway, thanks and I'm sure if nothing else I will at least learn what tomato stuff is called. Thanks again. Fetus Tree fucked around with this message at 19:26 on May 11, 2015 |
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May 11, 2015 19:21
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Fetus Tree posted:and the finished product. took maybe 8 minutes or so, something in that range. theres really no excuse to not cook almost every meal you eat.
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May 11, 2015 19:25
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if you put sugar and flour and water in a mug and microwave it you can make cake! I like to add a little bit of vanilla extract for extra zest 
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May 11, 2015 19:26
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having a hard time stomaching the look of that pizza op it looks like someone's covering a body that died on bread before the cops come also, maybe the tomatoes are diced?
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May 11, 2015 19:27
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fyodor posted:re-read topic it says simple duh Truth
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May 11, 2015 19:39
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What is a chickencheese  Sounds like something you'd get at KFCOh man, I just imagined a chickencheese soup. gently caress. I'm pretty hungry now
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May 11, 2015 19:42
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Fetus Tree posted:What is a chickencheese http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3498320
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May 11, 2015 19:44
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Holy poo poo. I'm only on the OP but god drat. To the guy that said 'theres a distinct lack of chickencheese here" I have two replies. First off, that is really impressive of him and seems like it would take a lot of time. Also, his cooking-level or whatever you want to call it is seemingly pretty high. That sandwich came out perfect looking. I thought I stepped up my game today but now I feel like the challenge is on. Not sure how I can compete while still keeping the recipes 'basic' though.
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May 11, 2015 19:51
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Fetus Tree posted:Not sure how I can compete while still keeping the recipes 'basic' though.
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May 11, 2015 20:24
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MasterFugu posted:If only there were a Guide to cooking available, or a place where you could ask questions about cooking. Pity nowhere like that exists, guess you'll have to keep on making asinine 'recipes' forever OP. The hell is your problem? I'm not even a video game freak but I know that people start out at level 1 or whatever. Instead of being, I don't know, for lack of a better term, a jerk, why not offer some advice yourself? I feel like the recipes I made are pretty modular and lend themselves to easy modification. Again, I am actively seeking criticism/knowledge but not in the form of snark. I'm sorry if I used the wrong brand of lettuce or if my ketchup had high fructose corn syrup. I'm not mad at you, and I am sorry if it comes across that way. I'm just disappointed that the only guy that really helped me out was the one that told me Mac Sauce exists in a bottle and that kind of nullifies the whole cooking aspect of my thread..which is the point.
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May 11, 2015 20:28
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MasterFugu posted:If only there were a Guide to cooking available, or a place where you could ask questions about cooking. Pity nowhere like that exists, guess you'll have to keep on making asinine 'recipes' forever OP. ok so your first link has a ton of links in the op, but the closest to basic recipes i see is the inexpensive cooking thread, which is alright but doesn't address skill level, and as for the other rules/questions thread: quote:Why are half of the threads on the main/1st page closed?
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May 11, 2015 20:31
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Fetus Tree posted:and the finished product Protip: cover the pan you're cooking your, er, pizza in. It will trap heat and help to melt the cheese!!
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May 11, 2015 20:39
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Libelous Slander posted:ok so your first link has a ton of links in the op, but the closest to basic recipes i see is the inexpensive cooking thread, which is alright but doesn't address skill level, and as for the other rules/questions thread:
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May 11, 2015 20:42
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Fetus Tree posted:that kind of nullifies the whole cooking aspect of my thread..which is the point.
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May 11, 2015 20:47
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Fetus Tree posted:I feel like the recipes I made are pretty modular and lend themselves to easy modification. i have a really great nutella and bread recipe if you're interested
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May 11, 2015 21:12
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I've been waiting a long time to see a thread full of quick and helpful recipes. My favorite dish to make in a pinch is tacos! I pre-mix the spices so it only takes about 15 minutes to make- it's even faster than a frozen pizza! Some of these ingredients won't be found in every kitchen, so be sure to go shopping before you make this, but it'll last a while!!! 1 tbsp chili powder 1 1/2 tsp cumin 1/4 tsp garlic powder 1/4 tsp onion powder 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper 1/4 tsp oregano 1/2 tsp paprika 1 tsp cajun spice (or more chili powder) 1 tsp pepper Mix these up, then brown your ground beef (I use ground beef, not ground chuck) and mash it with a wood spoon really hard until it's tiny like at a tex mex place. Once it's just turned brown, drain most of the fat and remove the meat. Then put some chopped onions on the pan without washing it out (chop the onions however you want) and cook them until they're soft when pierced with a fork, or taste yummy to you. Then put the meat back in the pan, add the spices (1.5 tbsp spice mix per 1lb ground beef) and 2/3 cup of water per lb of ground beef and simmer for 5-9 minutes depending on how hungry you are, or until most of the juice is gone. Put in some tortillas (whatever kind you want, you can wrap em up in tinfoil and put them in the oven @ 250 degrees while you cook the meat) and enjoy!!!!!! Don't forget to cut tomatoes into small pieces, or rip lettuce apart into appropriate sizes with your hands, as you'd like. You can also put any kind of cheese on this for extra flavor!!
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May 11, 2015 21:22
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BanhMi posted:I've been waiting a long time to see a thread full of quick and helpful recipes. Wow, this sounds great! I don't like spicy foods so I'd probably swap out the chili/cayenne for black pepper, but otherwise a good find! Also are the tomato and lettuce required? I don't really like vegetables...
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May 11, 2015 21:28
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Libelous Slander posted:Wow, this sounds great! I don't like spicy foods so I'd probably swap out the chili/cayenne for black pepper, but otherwise a good find! Also are the tomato and lettuce required? I don't really like vegetables... tomato is a fruit
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May 11, 2015 21:39
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Yeah you can put all sorts of stuff on it if you don't like vegetables. Instead of lettuce, try fritos brand chips! That's what they do at taco bell and it's really good. You could also just put on a second type of cheese, or you can melt cheese in the microwave so you have melted nacho cheese as well. Some people like to put fruits in their tacos as well!! Like the guy above me said, tomatoes are fruits, and so are mangos and and coconuts ( you can put the coconut on the tacos too)
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May 11, 2015 22:07
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THE EASIEST CROCK POT RECIPE IN THE WORLD 1- Take some boneless chicken breasts. As many as you want. 2- Put 'em in the pot. 3- Dump a jar of delicious salsa onto them. They should just barely cover the breasts. 4- Turn on pot. Wait for 6-8 hours. 5- Using a couple of forks, shred the meat 6- Add cilantro and a dollop of sour cream or a bunch of cheese. 7- You can eat it right out of the pot, just use oven mitts. I know this is a lot to take in, OP. Maybe consider this an intermediate (or like a level 5 in your video game analogy), try it after you've leveled up some!
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May 11, 2015 22:16
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Admiral Joeslop posted:6- Add cilantro and a dollop of sour cream or a bunch of cheese.
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May 11, 2015 22:17
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That sounds too spicy!
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May 11, 2015 22:17
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guys slow down those are like at least level 4 recipes
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May 11, 2015 22:17
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Nooner posted:That sounds too spicy! You can substitute ketchup for the salsa.
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May 11, 2015 22:19
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Nooner posted:That sounds too spicy!
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May 12, 2015 01:18
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MasterFugu posted:for someone who's been enthusiastically posting about how to add a latin kick, you're not very good with actual latin food. isn't fugu a toxic fish to eat as sushi?
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May 12, 2015 04:17
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Your pizza recipe turned out pretty well! I made a couple of tiny alterations to the recipe, but it was essentially the same.
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May 12, 2015 13:30
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That pizza looks good but I'd be wary of the coloration on those sausages
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May 12, 2015 17:17
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Libelous Slander posted:isn't fugu a toxic fish to eat as sushi?
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May 12, 2015 17:19
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MasterFugu posted:
"Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.... wisdom is knowing not to put it on youre fruit salad" --Ben Franklin hth
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May 12, 2015 21:01
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Basic Food Steps and Ingredients 0. Get a cup or cereal bowl or something 1. Add 1 oz of Alive! Multivitamins 2. Add 2 scoops (80g) of Whole Oat Powder 3. Add 2 scoops (60.8g) of Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Gold Standard 4. Add 4 teaspoons (26g) of Fitness Fiber 5. Add 6 teaspoons of NOW Potassium Gluconate 6. Add 4 tablespoons of Olive Oil 7. Add 6g of Jarrow Formulas MSM Sulfur Powder 8. Add 0.9 teaspoons of table salt 9. Add 1/2 teaspoon (2g) of Swanson Monosodium Phosphate 10. Add 2 cups (200g) of NOW Foods Carbo Gain Maltodextrin 11. Pour water to desired consistency 11.5(optional). Supplement with iron , magnesium, calcium. Add whipped cream, chocolate, instant coffee, matcha, artificial fruit flavoring, whatever you got.. Keldoclock fucked around with this message at 08:09 on May 13, 2015 |
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May 13, 2015 08:07
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Made another recipe. This one was considerably more complex than some I've made, but still definitely qualify as basic. Took a lot of photos this time so I'm going to work on sorting them and then do the write up. Just wanted to whet some appetites!
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Jun 3, 2015 21:56
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Alright, here we are, Spoonlords and Spoonettes. So far many of you have probably been reading about 'latin kick' this and 'cajun flair' that, so i figure it's time to add another color of the spectrum and do a meal with a bit of an oriental slant. Authentic Chinese Food (done fast and easy) Here is an overview of what I used. This picture doesn't include everything I used to make the meal, and actually I elected not to use some of it. But it captures the gist of the process. Any time I add or remove an ingredient I will make sure to detail that to avoid any confusion.  (Pictured: Cumin, Cilantro, Ginger, Black Pepper, Carrots, Broccoli, Water Chestnuts, Celery, Knife, Spatula, Corn Oil and Brown Minute Rice (NOTE: did not use) The first thing I did was take all the broccoli and cut each piece in half length wise. For the larger pieces I cut them into thirds. I did take a picture of this step but my recipes require a decent level of cooking experience and know how, so I'll assume you can cut broccoli in half. While I was professionally trained and did pass a cooking course I am able to hopefully appeal to a broad audience here. Anybody that feels like they'd benefit from seeing some of the steps I skip, I'd be happy to PM you the pictures. Anyway, in the interest of time efficiency after you cut the broccoli line up the carrots just so.  This will greatly expedite your next step.  Boom. I like to cut them pretty thin, maybe no thicker than two quarters stacked on top of each other. I'm going to show three pictures for the next steps really, the first one just because I really liked the way it looked. Pretty artsy I guess. Part of me wants to print it and hang it up, but I want to mess around a bit in an image editing program first.  My glamour shot. As you can see I've cut the celery. I cut that fairly thin as well, and didn't use a whole ton of it. Maybe a half cup if I had to guess. I just like the occasional nip of flavor.  Notice how I've placed the onions adjacent to each other. This is part of the same tactic I used while cutting the carrots. This is all about efficiency and time management after all.  When it comes to actually cutting the onion, or really any onion thing at all, I'm pretty liberal. I usually recommend you just follow your heart. Hell, I probably would have been just as happy or happier with another half or whole onion in the mix, in retrospect. Cut them as thin or as thick as you like. Initially I was going to go with just veggies and rice but I figured for the true oriental slant it might make some sense to add pork.  Unfortunately, my imporktu decision left me without any defrosted. Thats ok though, since this is the 21st century.  Just a hair under 2 minutes in the microwave left it perfectly defrosted. Maybe I'd go a minute and a half next time. This was done on the high setting, but each microwave will vary so keep that in mind. The next step is cut the pork chop. I cut mine into little squares like so:  If you do have to defrost any meat, make sure you do that before you start cutting anything, in the interest of maximizing output relative to time. So far these steps should have taken you no more than 3-5 minutes. Add some oil to your pan.  I ended up adding a slight bit more later, but I'll get to that. you don't really need a ton though, unless you like it greasy or something. We Now Enter The Cooking Zone: We've done most or all of the prep work, so now we get to the actual cooking part. At this point, if you exclude the time it takes you to actually get things from the cupboards and fridge and pantry, you've probably taken about 5 minutes out of your day. Considering we haven't started even heating anything on the pan yet, thats actually a lot, for our purposes. But hey, we're trying to avoid hot pockets for a reason, right? Take the onions and carrots, season them with the pepper, cilantro (no 'latin kicks' here though! im kidding, if you want to do a 'latin kick' too you can probably add lime, im sure those exist in the oriental) cumin, black pepper, and ginger. I personally go pretty light on the cilantro/coriander and also a bit light on the cumin. I don't particularly want to taste them individually, but I feel like they add to the authenticity and flavor profile of the dish as a hole. Black pepper to taste/desired heat, and I personally apply a liberal amount of ginger. I let that cook on medium-low heat for a few (4-5) minutes to soften the onions and carrots (which thankfully are cut pretty thin).  After that throw in the pork that you've chopped up (ironically, not a pork chop). Open the water chestnuts. Don't drain them into the sink, drain the entire can into the pan. You'll want the liquid because we're also building a bit of a sauce base here too which will blend well with the rice. If you don't have or elect to forgo the water chestnuts, I would add 3/4 cup of water or so. Stir that all up nice and good.  Two things which I am adding that weren't in the original group shot: A little duck sauce to add some sweetness, and some vinegar. I find that this particular ducksauce is a bit thick and sweet for my taste so I use the vinegar to balance it out as well as add some more liquid to the pan. Dual threat. Good work vinegar. I don't use much vinegar, maybe 3 table spoons tops. Make sure to stir this well. Any clumps of sugary crap are not going to do so well in your pan. After that, throw in the celery that you've chopped and mix it in again.    It was at this point that I felt like I was missing a bit of that 'oriental slant' I was so desperately searching for. The dish felt anemic and I didn't really like the coloration of the dish. You'll notice that at no point have I used any salt. I'm not a huge huge fan of salt, and theres a reason I didn't put in any. Power Move: Orient Slant Saves The Day(and the dish)  gently caress. Yes. I added this a bit until it darkened the dish slightly. It has a high sodium content so be careful how much you use. Also, we're going to end up reducing the sauce a bit and with some of the caramelization that will add a healthier, darker color. I don't actually know if its healthier but it looks tastier so hey.  See? Better imo. At this point you probably notice you've got a decent amount of liquid in there, possibly too much. Thats ok, theres a reason for it. What I did here is I turned the burner up to high for a bit, and then through on the broccoli in a single layer on top. Steam heats things up like 8 times faster than water, so we're gonna literally steam the poo poo out of that broccoli.  This is one of the final steps. I steamed them on top of the rest of the stuff for about 3-4 minutes. Make sure you cover the pan. While I was waiting for this part to finish, I started cooking the rice.   If Uncle Bens is a bit out of your budget you can do regular or minute rice too. Just remember that you want to time the rice to be done when the rest of it is, so plan accordingly. After the rice is done and the broccoli has been steaming for a 3-4 minutes, stir the broccoli in with the rest of it so the flavors can mesh a bit. Turn the heat down to low at this point.  Now I know this has seemed pretty complex, particularly to somebody that might just be starting out or intermediate, but I want you to think on how much time it really took you. Maybe 20 minutes or so and instead of hot pockets, you've taken a trip to a foreign land. You've defeated the 'latin kick', you've defeated the 'cajun flair', and began the dynasty of the 'oriental slant'. No offense is intended to the originators of the 'latin kick' or 'cajun flair' of course, this competition is all in good fun. And now, for the parting shots. I made a bed of rice and simply put the veggies and sauce on top, then paired it with my favorite tasty beverage.   If anybody has any questions, needs clarification, or anything like that, whether it be on this particular dish or cooking in general I check my PM's fairly frequently and bookmark most threads that I post in. Thanks again and bone apatie
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Jun 3, 2015 23:09
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That looks delicious Fetus Tree. Nothing in GWS has ever inspired me to try and cook better for myself, but suddenly I believe I can do this. Thank you!
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Jun 3, 2015 23:15
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Little confused by the seltzer and pork mix (Jew?), but it seems pretty easy to whip together! Worried about zapping the chop--how's the texture/slant?
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Jun 4, 2015 01:34
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You are really stepping up your game man. This is something I can see myself doing on a weekday night. One tip I'd put forward is that you can buy pre-chopped vegetables from the store and just use beef stew meat instead of uncut pork steak.
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Jun 4, 2015 01:37
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TEAYCHES posted:One tip I'd put forward is that you can buy pre-chopped vegetables from the store and just use beef stew meat instead of uncut pork steak. In a similar vein, one real time saver I've recently discovered is that you can buy fully prepared meals in a package, and you just microwave them to warm them up! Really takes the drudgery out of cooking.
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Jun 4, 2015 14:18
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Boil in a bag is the way to go.
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Jun 4, 2015 14:44
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