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Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa
Hawks-Lightning, please

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Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa
The Lightning are my preferred choice going forward. Chicago is also acceptable because it's cool how good they are every year and I want to see what they can do. Plus their fans here are nice and good.

I find the Rangers boring and I don't really like them. Outside of Lundqvist, McDonagh and Stepan, there's no one on that team that I'd like to see win a championship.

I used to not have a problem with Anaheim, I was even rooting for them when they won in 07, but they don't have Selanne anymore and ever since what's his face started posting here it's made me dislike them more and more each year.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

THE MACHO MAN posted:

Everyone shoot root for the Rangers because I don't think the forums could handle Wonderllama if the Bolts won.

nah, there's only one wonderllama

if the Rangers win then we have to deal with way more insufferable posting (not all of you, obviously)

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

Zodijackylite posted:

The Rangers roster and why you should want them to win:

Goaltenders

Henrik Lundqvist - The greatest goaltender of the post-great-lockout era, robbed of his 30-win-season streak by another lockout, should have at least three Vezinas but Tim Thomas and Marty Brodeur got them instead and nobody likes them anymore. Meanwhile, Handsome Henrik is still awesome and has even taken up charity work like trying to wash that dirt off of Sidney Crosby's upper lip.

Cam Talbot - He's being traded to the Oilers this offseason, so please let him get the most of his last playoffs.

Defensemen

Ryan McDonagh - He's a really good player who the Rangers acquired in the Scott Gomez trade, so unless you're a Habs fan you've got no reason to hate him.

Dan Girardi - Unbreakable man of stone. Missed five games since entering the league in 2006. He blocks tons of shots, hits a lot, is from Ontario, yet Don Cherry doesn't have a hard-on for him.

Marc Staal - Two of his brothers have cups, but you can cheer for a Staal to win without cheering for the Pens/Canes this time!

Kevin Klein - His hands are magic. He scored some really awesome goals early this year. HE once pummeled Derek Dorsett, then became his teammate, then saw Dorsett traded to Vancouver, where he turned into a second liner, based on his paycheck.

Keith Yandle - If you don't cheer for one big piece moving out of Arizona, then you can't cheer for the franchise to move.

Dan Boyle - B is for Boyle, grizzled and scary, beats all the shits out of gently caress Corey Perry. Well, until he was murdered by aggressive pylon Brooks Orpik.

Matt Hunwick - He's a journeyman who is actually pretty good, so I guess there's that.

Forwards

Rick Nash - He's a really good goal scorer who showed Ovechkin that you can win hockey games without scoring goals. Will probably eat something out of the cup too.

Derick Brassard - A good hockey player who there's no reason to hate unless you're a Columbus fan, but I think both Columbus fans like him anyway.

Mats Zuccarello - He's a hobbit who attracted droves of Norwegian media who annoyed John Tortorella by asking about him. A hobbit on his quest for one ring.

Chris Kreider - Oh boy, uh, who do I appeal to here? Hey Bruins fans, he's from Massachusetts and killed a Habs goalie once. Sens fans, he tried to solve your problem of too-many-goalies once! Jets fans, you want a way to get rid of Pavelec?

Derek Stepan - One of the greatest US players of all time, according to Joe Micheletti. He's also the new target for bald jokes since Getzlaf started shaving his head. You'll see if he celebrates without a helmet on.

Martin St. Louis - Hated only by bitter Tampa fans and stupid Rangers fans. Loved by all.

Carl Hagelin - He skates really fast, has a good flow going on, and looks like a huge dork.

Kevin Hayes - Bailed on the Blackhawks in order to save us from another season of complaints about why Q hates X rookie.

Dominic Moore - One of those veteran players who it'd be great to see win one. Needs to win one for his wife and his brother and probably his cat or something.

J.T. Miller - Grew up liking the Penguins before they were cool, and now beats them.

James Sheppard - Got into a lightsaber fight with a wookie in Times Square.

Tanner Glass - In order for Alain Vigneault to win a cup, Tanner Glass must win a cup. Hawks fans sacrifice goats, Rangers employ Tanner Glass. Now, invoke him and repeat after me. "Stanley. Cup. Champion. Tanner. Glass."

nah

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa
I can't think of a single player on the Lightning's roster that I dislike or think of as an rear end in a top hat. I mean, Drouin didn't do that great for me in fantasy but that's the pretty much the worst thing I can say about them.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

Brian Boyle, hope this helps

Brian Boyle is actually cool as hell but he kind of plays with an edge so uhh, sure I guess.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

Pornographic Memory posted:

it took me a while to figure out but i'm pretty sure almost all the PK avatars are actually bruins fans

ya I lost an avatar bet last playoffs and I never bothered to change it

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

Kale posted:

Tyler Johnson has to be the front runner for the Conn Smythe at this point.

Ya definitely. Up until this game I thought it was Lundqvist. I guess everyone has a lovely game now and then, if he turns it around he's still the favorite in my book.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

Overwined posted:

Only a Floridian would think Honey Mustard wasn't Garbage Tier dressing.

this is incorrect

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa
The Rangers allowed 20 total goals in 12 games against the Penguins/Capitals. Tampa has 13 against them in three games. I don't think the Rangers offense is good enough to keep up with a team with that kind of forward depth and offensive ability except for the odd game like last night.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

LmaoTheKid posted:

TB absolutely crushed the Rangers early in the season but they were a different team then, but for some reason I see the Rangers regress back to that style of early season play a lot in these games. It's not a 100% regression because at times the Rangers have been flat out dominant but Tamp just seems to be really good at making them pay for their stupid mistakes.

I don't think I agree. In the 10 game stretch, starting with the first loss to the Lightning, the Rangers went 6-4-0 overall. Three of those losses were all to the Lightning by a combined score of 15-7. They went 6-1-0 in the other 7 games, outscoring their opponents 26-9. While they definitely didn't have the best record going in to that first game with Tampa, they had something like 5 or 6 OT/SO losses which could have just as easily gone the other way, and the fact that they went on a huge tear after those ten seems to suggest that the team was already playing at a high level early in the season.

I think Tampa just matches up well against the Rangers, and I think they're going to win the series relatively easily assuming Bishop can play half decent the rest of the way.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

INSPECTAH DECK posted:

Ovechkin and Stamkos would both be ahead.

Stamkos and Kessel have less goals but they're younger, so I'd call it a wash.

Purely statistically, Ovechkin, Crosby, E. Staal, Vanek and Nash are all the same generation as Perry and have more goals. So while ya, Corey Perry is really good, calling him the 2nd best goal scorer of his generation is a stretch.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa
I thought Versteeg at least looked half decent. Didn't notice department store at all.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

Aurora posted:

The East haven't won the Cup since like the 40s, right?

Only two different Eastern conference teams have won the Cup in the past six seasons. Now compare that to the Western conference, which has had two different teams win the Cup in the past six seasons.

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Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa
I kind of want Tampa-Anaheim only because it was my pre-season pick and my IRL hockey friends will be astounded by my sage-like powers.

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