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Fansy
Feb 26, 2013

I GAVE LOWTAX COOKIE MONEY TO CHANGE YOUR STUPID AVATAR GO FUCK YOURSELF DUDE
Grimey Drawer
Tell me more about this extremely attractive person. What was their hair color? What did they smell like?

Did you actually go on a date, or was it just drunken fumbling after the company Christmas party? Were you intimidated by their extremely good looks, did you feel inadequate? If you went out with them in public, how prideful did you feel?

Thank you for reading this post.

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VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
You're asking this on Something Awful Dot Com, LLC?

How many responses do you think you'll likely get? :crossarms:

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX

VendaGoat posted:

You're asking this on Something Awful Dot Com, LLC?

How many responses do you think you'll likely get? :crossarms:

durrr I dunno guy responding to his thread on Something Awful how many do you think?

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

ArtIsResistance posted:

durrr I dunno guy responding to his thread on Something Awful how many do you think?

The same thing we do every night Pinky, Try to take over the world!

BigBoss
Jan 26, 2012

by Lowtax
My gf is a hot gamer girl/model. NBD

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
I dated a hot korean and a hot Mexican chick.

Welp... thats it.

Thread sucks.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
she had a kid
after me i think she married a doctor so im sure shes doing alright but since then she has still sent me some texts indicating she wants the d

i could probably get that guy to raise my progeny

Jimbo Jaggins
Jul 19, 2013
So was so Fansy, but you already know

Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011

Just close your eyes
Fun Shoe
Most of the women I've dated, including my wife, have been pretty hot. Like people that come up to me and say "drat your woman's hot."
That's not the only thing they have in common: All the women I've dated have horrible taste in men. That's my secret: Find women who have bad taste in men.

lordoftheT
Feb 2, 2015

Check out this cool dog!
I have never dated.

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.
My first gf was pretty hot. She smelled kinda spicy and fun to kiss. Tits just the right size. Never got past 2&1/2 base though.


Also I've banged some climber chicks, they're usually pretty hot. Strong bodies are good in bed. Climbers can be even better than yoga chicks. But also crazier.
A lot of them have tats, too. Which I enjoy.

Moola
Aug 16, 2006
have yet to date an extremely attractive person

date 6-7s tbh

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
well gee where to start

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Moola posted:

have yet to date an extremely attractive person

date 6-7s tbh

Same but I'm like a 7 on my best day so I don't really complain as much as simmer with cosmic resentment.

1st_Panzer_Div.
May 11, 2005
Grimey Drawer

Fansy posted:

Tell me more about this extremely attractive person. What was their hair color? What did they smell like?

Did you actually go on a date, or was it just drunken fumbling after the company Christmas party? Were you intimidated by their extremely good looks, did you feel inadequate? If you went out with them in public, how prideful did you feel?

Thank you for reading this post.

she was really hot, amazing rear end, enjoyed being throat hosed, and every second we weren't loving we were fighting, and I'm one of those peeps that almost never gets angry and hates fighting. she was also crazier than that homeless dude that chased me once screaming he was gonna kill all the pigeons. I vastly prefer my current, nice sane girlfriend.

But I hope you're talking about like legit dating, if you can't even go out to dinner with someone attractive, you need to change something.

Moola
Aug 16, 2006

mind the walrus posted:

Same but I'm like a 7 on my best day so I don't really complain as much as simmer with cosmic resentment.

I think I would be an 8 if I was taller, but yeah 7 here too

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Moola posted:

I think I would be an 8 if I was taller, but yeah 7 here too

I think we just became friends.

Moola
Aug 16, 2006
^_^

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
I dated a chick who was way way out of my league and the entire time she talked about how much she hated her dad and he was dead etc and we broke up because she was literally crazy

Anyhow I just reconnected with her a month ago and her dad isn't dead and also she said she had a brother but does not have a brother either and I am still a bit confused

SADDLE ME UP
Dec 2, 2014
I don't wanna talk about it

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.
i dated youre mom op and she has some pretty high gravity (cuz she is v fat)

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012
sorry not here op im dating a fatty fatty bum bum

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
Also during sex she liked to be slapped in the face until she cried

white sauce
Apr 29, 2012

by R. Guyovich
I dated a very attractive Russian girl for a while. She smelled like oranges, and had blonde hair. Amazing tits, too. She liked to gently caress and had a fairly high sex drive, but not as much as my ex from El Salvador.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax

FordPRefectLL posted:

Also during sex she liked to be slapped in the face until she cried

Yeah, I dated one of those too.

Run far away from that poo poo.

Moola
Aug 16, 2006

FordPRefectLL posted:

Also during sex she liked to be slapped in the face until she cried

hot

lordoftheT
Feb 2, 2015

Check out this cool dog!

FordPRefectLL posted:

I dated a chick who was way way out of my league and the entire time she talked about how much she hated her dad and he was dead etc and we broke up because she was literally crazy

Anyhow I just reconnected with her a month ago and her dad isn't dead and also she said she had a brother but does not have a brother either and I am still a bit confused

Sounds like you are pretty lucky to have gotten out.

InFlames235
Jan 13, 2004

LIKE THE WAVES IN THE OCEAN I WILL DIG IN YOUR FAT AND SEARCH FOR YOUR CLITORIS, BUT I WON'T SLAM WHALE
I've pretty much dated 7's - 8's pretty consistently but did have a 9 at one point and she was definitely the craziest one of them all but god drat she was also the best in bed. Too bad her craziness ended up outshining any of her good qualities by a mile.

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
I took the two hot girls I had a threesome with to a Japanese Steakhouse/Hibachi. As the dude is doing his Sake thing aiming and squirting it down the mouths of people from a distance, when it gets to her and she swallows it but spills some from her mouth she goes "Look familiar!?" out loud where even the dude sitting next to us gives me a nod of approval.

They were eastern european. They were cousins as I found out. "We like to share." One was a fitness and yoga freak with light hair and slim, the other was sorta new agey with dark hair.

It was fun. I would rate it as...would do again.

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
Only dated 9,s those guys are too high matinance though

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Gatts posted:

I took the two hot girls I had a threesome with to a Japanese Steakhouse/Hibachi. As the dude is doing his Sake thing aiming and squirting it down the mouths of people from a distance, when it gets to her and she swallows it but spills some from her mouth she goes "Look familiar!?" out loud where even the dude sitting next to us gives me a nod of approval.
:golfclap: well done you

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Dated a short blond chick briefly who was like a 9.5. Blue eyes, big boobs, slim and my friends couldn't figure out how I convinced hert to go out with me. She had severe emotional problems due to horrible family circumstances growing up and just disappeared one day. Got a message from her a year after she left saying she missed me and wanted to meet up. She was supposed to sent me her phone number but never did and haven't heard from her in like 7 years.

She was really really hot.

naem
May 29, 2011

SADDLE ME UP posted:

I don't wanna talk about it

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

gary oldmans diary posted:

she had a kid
after me i think she married a doctor so im sure shes doing alright but since then she has still sent me some texts indicating she wants the d

i could probably get that guy to raise my progeny

My ex wife has married a doctor now. His entire family was against the marriage given how horrible of a person she and her family are, but she's really hot so the guy just couldn't make the decision with the right head and after months took the plunge. When she starts demanding he buy her $500 shoes for her billionaire brother in law, build her a house, give her a Mercedes, he'll start to realize.

esn2500
Mar 2, 2015

Some asshole told me to get fucked and eat shit so I got fucked and ate shit
Korean chicks, nuff said

Neukoln19
Oct 27, 2005
Feisty Romanian.

Only con was a bit of hair.

I loved that woman to death.

But once my true nature as a clingy and jealous psycho came out

She dropped me

She is smart

Neukoln19
Oct 27, 2005
Hot blonde with a bangin bod

Same issues with me

She put up with me through a lot

Now she's put on weight

But I still talk to her everyday

I fix myself and my secondary goal of self recovery is to get her back

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

There was one that was a bit of a butterface but had a perfect little body with C cup tits that almost pointed up. She was damaged goods though and eventually the hassle wasn't worth it.

Still sorta around another one who is pretty out of my league. Long curly hair, curves all over, huge tits, and nerdy enough to hang out with me for several years now. Sane even! Will miss that when it eventually dies out

TopHatGenius
Oct 3, 2008

something feels
different

Hot Rope Guy
Fun in bed, but was nuts otherwise.

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Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.
To be honest, my current gf is probably the only one who hasn't been conventionally good looking. But don't let her know I said that.

She's trying to lose 10lbs this summer, so hopefully she'll look more like she did in her college pictures.

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