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Quange "Freeform" Bixby, a 5-year-old girl from Portland, Oregon, was troubled by the homeless man she saw sitting outside the local Starbucks “What does that mean?” the girl asked when her mother, Helvetica Bixby, explained the man was homeless, most likely as a result of a troubled upbringing, underfunded school system, and numerous other socioeconomic failings linked to the capitalist model. After learning that that the majority of first-world workers receive wages above the abstract value of labor, i.e. above the value of the goods and services exchanged throughout the world-economy in a given period divided by the quantity of labor through which it is produced (and so are not part of the proletariat because the magnitude of their wages are dependent on imperialist exploitation and could not be maintained without it), Quange sprang into action. She told her mom that they needed to introduce the man to Starbuck's high-quality, ethically purchased and responsibly produced products, and she immediately agreed. When no one came to serve the man, Josiah fetched him a menu and--to the man's surprise--instructed him to order whatever he wanted. Even a caramel macchiato  By this point, the mother said there were 10 people in the coffee shop ignoring the 5-year-old's touching actions. That indifference turned to tears as they watched Quange tell the man she needed to say the blessing before he started to drink his delicious Starbucks beverage. In front of everyone, Quange sang the song 'Drunk Girls' by LCD Soundsystem at the top of her lungs. 'Drunk boys! Drunk boys keep in pace with the pedophiles! Drunk girls! Drunk girls are boringly wild!' "The man cried. I cried. Everybody cried," Helvetica said.
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May 19, 2015 20:55
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 00:21 |
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I used a starbucks bathroom once and brought the entire place to tears
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May 19, 2015 20:56
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lol whys that lady not have hair??
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May 19, 2015 20:58
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What's the deal with all these heterocisnormatitive kids doing really openly gay things?
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May 19, 2015 20:58
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Nooner posted:lol whys that lady not have hair?? hair is problematic
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May 19, 2015 20:58
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I know that bum. I gave him a couple bux a week ago. Also, I hate that family. GOD i hope they get cancer.
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May 19, 2015 20:59
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I would not like to have sex with the mother please pass this on.
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May 19, 2015 21:04
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Nooner posted:lol whys that lady not have hair?? i hope you live really long life (just kidding lol)
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May 19, 2015 21:06
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Nooner posted:lol whys that lady not have hair?? most likely as a result of a troubled upbringing, underfunded school system, and numerous other socioeconomic failings linked to the capitalist model.
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May 19, 2015 21:07
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Hair is so 90's. the gaulag is in.
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May 19, 2015 21:09
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dad gay. so what posted:i hope you live really long life (just kidding lol) You're always so mean to me, is it because you actually like me? (:
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May 19, 2015 21:12
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Wow what an amazing kid. I'm so glad that parents these days are teaching their kids compassion and understanding. Maybe this small spark of kindness will be catalyst that helps this man get his life back on track. Really heart warming story thanks for sharing it op.
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May 19, 2015 21:12
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Was the homeless man ostracized for not tipping like all the other patrons in your backward-rear end country?
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May 19, 2015 21:16
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Tipping for poor service is like raping for virginity.
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May 19, 2015 21:17
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this is one of the more creative and well constructed caramel macchiato threads ive ever seen bravo op
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May 19, 2015 21:18
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thathonkey posted:this is one of the more creative and well constructed caramel macchiato threads ive ever seen bravo op gently caress. good point.
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May 19, 2015 21:19
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Someone write this up on a fake website and share that poo poo on facebook and watch the clicks flow
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May 19, 2015 21:36
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I want smell lady's head.
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May 19, 2015 21:37
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posting in a fansy parody thread
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May 19, 2015 21:43
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Darf posted:I used a starbucks bathroom once and brought the entire place to tears 
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May 19, 2015 21:47
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Voted 5 for the effort in parody thread With that hair cut she will probably age well. Not exactly a huge drop off possible
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May 19, 2015 21:53
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These people have stupid loving names "josiah" lol
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May 19, 2015 21:54
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XMNN posted:posting in a fansy parody thread
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May 19, 2015 21:54
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that lady is really ugly
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May 19, 2015 22:04
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Darf posted:I used a starbucks bathroom once and brought the entire place to tears 
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May 19, 2015 22:09
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if the mom is actually cis I probably would just to cuck that beta hipster oh look, the street is wet in portland
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May 19, 2015 22:17
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Portland is a garbage town full of garbage people that think food trucks is culture
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May 19, 2015 22:25
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that woman looks like she just poo poo her pants
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May 19, 2015 22:27
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