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SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011
I was just talking to a friend of mine about the new Shadow Warrior game and how it's a fresh breath of air in the dank FPS game scene these days. I had to admit to him that I've never actually played the original, because back in those days when I was young, I was busy with a shitfest called Hexen 2.

it's amazingly bad

but there's JUST enough good things to make you think "maybe it starts now?".

Then after you've visited gamefaqs.com for a 153 times throughout the game and you defeat the final boss, you will feel empty.

the mill and everything were so cool

I was happy with all that, I was just a stupid kid who hadn't seen a huge animating 3d windmill in a game before

the catapult was top notch

but then it dawns upon you that this game is not about windmills or moats and forges, it's about turning every loving corner and stone to find a wall-coloured button hidden in the shadow

Hexen 2 ruined my childhood.

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old beast lunatic
Nov 3, 2004

by Hand Knit
Not going to argue, I never really liked any of the hexens. The quake axe is as much medieval in my fps as I need.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

The gently caress does this have to do with five guys dweeb

KennyLoggins
Dec 3, 2004
Welcome to the Danger Zone
the first Hexen also sucked.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
Shadow warrior 1 was cool because it was v racist and funny. I played the hell out of it at work.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

ok but why would you want to talk about a game that's bad instead of a game that's good?

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Heretic 2 blade duels were some of the most fun I ever had in a game.

Hexen 2 did suck though, good opinion op.

Kilmers Elbow
Jun 15, 2012

Can't you fire a sheep at a castle or something? It's been years.

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
*bone splinter spell*

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Yea

Sestze
Jun 6, 2004



Cybernetic Crumb
hexen 2 was utter rear end

to say the game was cryptic was giving it too much credit - as if there was a rhyme or reason regarding the puzzles that were in the game.

as it was on the almost-stock quake 1 engine, the engine limitations really showed, as the number of enemies was incredibly small. default enemies were frustrating and unfun to fight, and the weapons you were given were composed of gimmicks and were bad at what they did.

here's an excerpt from a walkthrough:

quote:

9.1.4.1.- Finding the Bones of Loric.

As you start, admire the scenery.

Done?

Not yet?

Okay, go back and go up the stairs. Deal with whatever's there, and
find a button on the right wall. It will open an secret door in
front of it, and you should go down there, and hit the switch. Go
into the white teleporter back to the start.

Go forth, and you will reach a room with a box in the middle. Find the
button in one of the pillars, which will move the box. below the box
is a floorplate: Step on it and follow the newly opened door.

You will reach a nice open area with your second weapon (yay!), and
two ways. You should go left, where you will eventually hit a wooden
bridge. Drop down and push the switch, to reveal a teleporter.

NOTE: Don't go further yet past the bridge. A very nasty Skull Wizard
is lying there.

As you go through the teleporter, you will be taken to an area with
many Archers. Go forward, and you will reach a wheel. Pull the lever
to make it work, push the switch to open the bars, and follow
the way. There is an Skull Wizard around, kill him and find the spectacular
showing off for Loric's Remains. The guy has got to be quite cool,
to have a tomb that explodes upon explored. Collect the bones,
and drop down to the pool. There are two teleporters: one will take you
to the area where the Very Nasty Skull Wizard (tm) is, and the other will
drop you near the white teleporter. Either way, your destination is Barbican
that's the first item you need to get in the game. you get the bones, get the mill key by going through a breakable wall and a teleporter in another map, destroying a tower with a ballista, grind the bones at the mill, travel underwater in the previous level to go through a specific wall to get another key and use that key to get inside of the castle.

this is act 1. the game doesn't get much better than that.

hexen 1 was also rear end, that game's first act is burned into my memory from stumbling through it with a FAQ out of sheer curiosity.

if i remember correct, act 1 has you opening the portals by pulling 3 levers in 3 separate areas, which have 3 subswitches and collectable items required to progress.

everything about both games was a clusterfuck when it came to design. enemies were random, weapons were bad, the game introduced and focused a lot on your ability to complete jumping puzzles and divine whatever the gently caress you needed to do from zero information given.

dodecahardon
Oct 20, 2008

Darth123123 posted:

Shadow warrior 1 was cool because it was v racist and funny. I played the hell out of it at work.

hooooooo wanta sum wang???

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


i've yet to find a videogame that doesn't suck

Ben Smash
Aug 22, 2005

LARDROOM
Grimey Drawer

adocious posted:

hooooooo wanta sum wang???

Who wants to watch Wang wash Wang?

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
every FPS before 2010 was complete and utter DOG S H I T

bitmap
Aug 8, 2006

yeah but remember that lightning spell

bitmap
Aug 8, 2006

and wraithverge was pretty righteous!

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
I thought hexen was a puzzle game.

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax
I preferred Heretic.

Happy Hedonist
Jan 18, 2009


I think the devs released some type of TF style mod for the game after it'd been out for a while. I remember playing on a server with a bunch of the devs. The mod was also lovely hth.

ColoradoCleric
Dec 26, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
was heretic any good? I need some old school games to pass the time

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 years!
thread made me fire up duke nukem 3d


i died and it made me restart the level and that was that

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
i played a good game, maybe you heard about it, Doom 2. hexen is for nerds

Artificial Idiocy
Jul 11, 2008

Zzulu posted:

every FPS before 2010 was complete and utter DOG S H I T

Half-life
Half-Life 2
Counterstrike
System shock 2
Quake 1-2
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six and Rogue Spear
Battlefield 1942
Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

Zzulu posted:

every FPS before 2010 was complete and utter DOG S H I T
human being

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
you just can not accept the truth

AbbadonOfHell
Jul 16, 2004
You know I would try to think of something funny to put here but ill just pass on that and threaten people with a + 2 board with a nail in it.
Doom 1+2 with the Brutal Mod, Just don't play Thy Flesh Consumed, it's stupid hard and pretty unfair.

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011
My next thread will be about Final Doom and the Thy Flesh Consumed.

coolskull
Nov 11, 2007

first hexen was alright.

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
it's all relative

most every old game is terrible now

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

SnowblindFatal posted:

My next thread will be about Final Doom and the Thy Flesh Consumed.

i apparently have final doom on steam, so i installed it and it wouldn't start. well that's my final doom story

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

Parallax Scroll posted:

i apparently have final doom on steam, so i installed it and it wouldn't start. well that's my final doom story

Get the Doomsday engine http://dengine.net/. It's a launcher designed to run games like Doom and Hexen with nicer lighting and other poo poo, but you can toggle the crap you don't want off. Even has multiplayer support.

Also I loved Hexen 1 :colbert: You could turn people into pigs then freeze them to make little piggy ice statues. Then shatter them :getin:

Or get turned into a pig and nibble on peoples ankles.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

Ramsus posted:

it's all relative

most every old game is terrible now

Good post my man. Enjoyment is only relative, until we're told what the new cool shiny thing is, and then that thing is really good. There's basically no way to judge anything so new stuff is just really good generally.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

[COOL GBS DUDE]: heh .... someone told me this book was "good " .... but it wasn't even written in this decade .. , ... How can it be good? Check mate.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
Hexen is a good game because it teaches you that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is better than physical prowess or heathen magic.

Jesus starts you off with a dinky mace but if you have enough faith in him he will give you the Wraithverge.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost
Heretic was a lovely game.

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Harald posted:

i've yet to find a videogame that doesn't suck

splinter cell 1

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

katlington posted:

splinter cell 1

the third won was my favorite game.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

Heretic was a lovely game.

Yes. All the weapons felt too weak or ineffective for most situations.

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Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Wicker Man posted:

Yes. All the weapons felt too weak or ineffective for most situations.

it still had the massacre cheat

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